I work with f*cking idiots

[tacosforlife]

I just overheard one of my coworkers say that vegans eat fish.

I give up on life.

[pixy0stix]

See my Monday random that a coworker wanted me to notarize a document that wasn't signed in my presence. No.

People are dumb.

[Deleted]

Oh, oh, can I go?

I received no less than 7 emails this morning from our office administrator who was trying to change a room for one of my meetings. WHY are people who are supposed to be experts at Outlook - but are NOT - given jurisdiction over Outlook?

[mbcdefg]

I was chatting with some coworkers last week and one (who regularly brags about having gone to a $60k/year college) talked about rehoming several dogs. And as if that weren't enough, she started arguing that it's "stupid" to keep domestic cats indoors, because she's got a big piece of property and they'd just love to be outside and it's cruel not to let them roam free. "And it's not like there are any predators out there to get them! Just raccoons. And foxes. And sometimes we get coyotes." WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK A "PREDATOR" IS, DIPSHIT.


(Also, WTF did they teach you at that college, lady. I went to a shitty cheap state school and yet every single thing out of your mouth makes me want to weep.)

[laurenpetro]

Someone at my office said this the other day about vegetarians. I had a good laugh.

[msmerymac]

Our office admin thought the state abbreviation NE stood for New England, and also doesn't know there's a difference between standard time and daylight time (as in she schedules everything in "eastern standard time" or "pacific standard time" all year round).

[delawarejen]

I work with a lot of stupid people. The one next to me routinely astounds me with both her stupidity and her laziness/inability to figure anything out for herself, combined with her need to shout every stupid thing that comes into her head over the wall. Google is a wonderful thing, try it sometime!

"What's today's date?" and "What day of the week is it?" - this information is on our deskphone display, in the bottom corner of our monitors, or you can check your cell phone.

There was an entire conversation this morning about how she couldn't find coarse sugar at the store, complete with people having to explain the differences between coarse, granulated, and confectioners' sugar.

She's on the phone now trying to understand why her own spreadsheet of vacation time doesn't match the new system. Dude. They started tracking in minutes instead of decimals rounded to 2 places. They explained this. You're an accountant. This scares me.

[Skyesthelimit1212]

Mar 30, 2015 12:22:32 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

I just overheard one of my coworkers say that vegans eat fish.

I give up on life.

Can you imagine what they think a pescetarian is. LOL 

[tacosforlife]

It just keeps getting better.

I have just been treated to a discussion of the proper way to pronounce "salmon."

And one person learning that "lox" does not mean a bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon but that it is actually just the fish part of that.

::headdesk::

[smock]

Tell your coworkers that I'd love some lox, but hold the SAL-mon because I'm a vegetarian. Maybe you can explode some heads.

[meshaliuknits]

Mar 30, 2015 13:07:59 GMT -5 Skyesthelimit1212 said:

Mar 30, 2015 12:22:32 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

I just overheard one of my coworkers say that vegans eat fish.

I give up on life.

Can you imagine what they think a pescetarian is. LOL 

Probably this guy

[meshaliuknits]

Mar 30, 2015 13:11:29 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

It just keeps getting better.

I have just been treated to a discussion of the proper way to pronounce "salmon."

And one person learning that "lox" does not mean a bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon but that it is actually just the fish part of that.

::headdesk::

I didn't realize you had become and elementary school teacher.

[tacosforlife]

These people talk about food ALL DAMN DAY.

And it's just mind-numbingly stupid talk about food.

Y'all know how I feel about food. My soul hurts here.

[sugarglider]

Mar 30, 2015 12:22:32 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

I just overheard one of my coworkers say that vegans eat fish.

I give up on life.

That's a sea-gan!

(I don't know if that's an official name or just the name the one person I know with that diet made up.

There are a lot of pescatarians who call themselves vegetarians and confuse everyone.

[msmerymac]

Mar 30, 2015 13:17:44 GMT -5 sugarglider said:

Mar 30, 2015 12:22:32 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

I just overheard one of my coworkers say that vegans eat fish.

I give up on life.

That's a sea-gan!

(I don't know if that's an official name or just the name the one person I know with that diet made up.

There are a lot of pescatarians who call themselves vegetarians and confuse everyone.

Lol. Macrobiotic diets are basically vegan+seafood, but there are a bunch of other food combining rules, too.

[tacosforlife]

Mar 30, 2015 13:17:44 GMT -5 sugarglider said:

Mar 30, 2015 12:22:32 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

I just overheard one of my coworkers say that vegans eat fish.

I give up on life.

That's a sea-gan!

(I don't know if that's an official name or just the name the one person I know with that diet made up.

There are a lot of pescatarians who call themselves vegetarians and confuse everyone.

Those people are just fucking assholes. Confusing everyone. COME ON, PEOPLE. WORDS HAVE MEANING.

[Daria Morgandorffer]

Mar 30, 2015 12:24:16 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

See my Monday random that a coworker wanted me to notarize a document that wasn't signed in my presence. No.

People are dumb.

Last week I had one of my co-workers email me a scanned doc that someone else signed that they wanted me to notarize for them. LOL no.

[meshaliuknits]

Someone in the breakroom just said they were paleo vegan. Is that even possible?

[otowngirl]

Mar 30, 2015 14:18:46 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Someone in the breakroom just said they were paleo vegan. Is that even possible?

I once went to a brunch with a girl who ate like that. She ordered sauteed veggies. 

[onomatopoeia]

Mar 30, 2015 13:35:20 GMT -5 Daria Morgandorffer said:

Mar 30, 2015 12:24:16 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

See my Monday random that a coworker wanted me to notarize a document that wasn't signed in my presence. No.

People are dumb.

Last week I had one of my co-workers email me a scanned doc that someone else signed that they wanted me to notarize for them. LOL no.

Part of our clearance requirements include a valid government photo ID and an accompanying form, notarized by 3 specific people who work for the agency.   A few weeks ago I received a document accompanied by a student ID card (with no picture), and a form that had the word "notarized" scrawled on it along with an illegible signature.   It turns out it was "notarized" by the applicant's mother. 

Notarized. I do not think that word means what you think it means.

[cattledogkisses]

I worked with someone who called himself a vegetarian but ate fish. I used to needle him about this.

The Catholic Church subscribes to the "fish are vegetables" mode of thinking too with the "no meat on Fridays during Lent but fish doesn't count" thing. Lol.

[bears]

Mar 30, 2015 13:00:55 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Our office admin thought the state abbreviation NE stood for New England, and also doesn't know there's a difference between standard time and daylight time (as in she schedules everything in "eastern standard time" or "pacific standard time" all year round).

I am pretty sure that I'm your coworker... I never knew this and I write EST constantly.

How embarrassing.

[bears]

I do know the difference between New England and Nebraska, though.

[msmerymac]

Mar 30, 2015 14:30:17 GMT -5 cattledogkisses said:

I worked with someone who called himself a vegetarian but ate fish. I used to needle him about this.

The Catholic Church subscribes to the "fish are vegetables" mode of thinking too with the "no meat on Fridays during Lent but fish doesn't count" thing. Lol.

Which is really, literally, the least amount of "fasting" you can do. Oh, you can eat ANYTHING but red meat and poultry on Fridays, and then literally ANYTHING including red meat and poultry for the rest of Lent? Ramadan this is not.

[pixy0stix]

Mar 30, 2015 14:24:57 GMT -5 onomatopoeia said:

Mar 30, 2015 13:35:20 GMT -5 Daria Morgandorffer said:

Last week I had one of my co-workers email me a scanned doc that someone else signed that they wanted me to notarize for them. LOL no.

Part of our clearance requirements include a valid government photo ID and an accompanying form, notarized by 3 specific people who work for the agency.   A few weeks ago I received a document accompanied by a student ID card (with no picture), and a form that had the word "notarized" scrawled on it along with an illegible signature.   It turns out it was "notarized" by the applicant's mother. 

Notarized. I do not think that word means what you think it means.

No.

omfg.

[Deleted]

Mar 30, 2015 14:18:46 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Someone in the breakroom just said they were paleo vegan. Is that even possible?

It's totally a thing. A very stupid thing.

[notsocreepylurker]

Mar 30, 2015 14:32:39 GMT -5 bears said:

Mar 30, 2015 13:00:55 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Our office admin thought the state abbreviation NE stood for New England, and also doesn't know there's a difference between standard time and daylight time (as in she schedules everything in "eastern standard time" or "pacific standard time" all year round).

I am pretty sure that I'm your coworker... I never knew this and I write EST constantly.

How embarrassing.

I'm a dummy too. I always say EST, CST, PST all year round.

[pixy0stix]

How do paleo vegans get their protein?

[cattledogkisses]

Mar 30, 2015 14:40:32 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

How do paleo vegans get their protein?

I dunno man. Beans and rice make a complete protein, but apparently beans aren't paleo. 

I have no idea why someone would want to follow such a restrictive diet.

[pixy0stix]

Mar 30, 2015 14:44:21 GMT -5 cattledogkisses said:

Mar 30, 2015 14:40:32 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

How do paleo vegans get their protein?

I dunno man. Beans and rice make a complete protein, but apparently beans aren't paleo. 

I have no idea why someone would want to follow such a restrictive diet.

Neither is rice (I don't think anyway), nor soy.