Weddings - how much $ do you give?

[patbutcher]

We have 6 weddings this summer. Some close friends, some not so much.

At least 4 of them have specifically requested money (no comment on my feelings on this).

So how much do you typically give for a) a close friend b) an aquaintance who felt obligated to invite you?

Also how much do you spend at the showers? I have even received a cash only shower invite?!?!?

Ugh. Knowing people/having friends is not mm.

[msmerymac]

I would not go to a cash shower. Sorry.

Shower is typically up to $75, all in.

Weddings for an acquaintance would be in the $100-$150 range.

Weddings for close friends would be in the $200-$250 range. These are amounts based on a couple gift, because I'm married, so from two people.

I'm one of those people who gives gifts for showers (because duh) and cash for weddings. I also haven't had to attend more than 2 weddings in one year, so my opinion could change!

[ddi741]

Close friend $200-$300. Acquaintance $100.
Shower is usually $30-$50. But I always give a gift or gift card. I don't do cash gifts for showers.

[aurora]

This varies so much by region and individual.

It's been a while since we went to a wedding for close friends; we used to give $150 or so but we'd probably give more now. I know there has been a wide range when we've discussed this here before.

I think it's OK to decline wedding invites for people you're not close to.

[gatsby]

I think that a cash only shower is tacky and I would not attend one. Otherwise I usually spend

$25 shower/$50 wedding for an acquaintance
$50 shower/$100 wedding for a closer friend

Also worth noting that I'm a teacher and my friends know that I am poor, so they don't expect extravagance from me.

[v]

This is all really, really personal (also, regional).

The correct answer -- always -- is the amount that you personally feel comfortable with in light of your budget and your relationship with the couple. Whether that's the same as everyone else's answer is not all that important

[moolarkey]

On Family Fued one night championship round, whatever they call it - the question was how much cash do you give for a wedding gift. The over-whelming #1 amount was $50. I was really surprised.  The reason I'm surprised is on here and other sites everyone seems to give a LOT more.

[Deleted]

I have never heard of a cash shower? Wtf
Because it's a shower do you "make it rain"? Lol

[Pom]

Mar 30, 2015 19:51:30 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

I would not go to a cash shower. Sorry.

Shower is typically up to $75, all in.

Weddings for an acquaintance would be in the $100-$150 range.

Weddings for close friends would be in the $200-$250 range. These are amounts based on a couple gift, because I'm married, so from two people.

I'm one of those people who gives gifts for showers (because duh) and cash for weddings. I also haven't had to attend more than 2 weddings in one year, so my opinion could change!

r

+1

[KaraOrNot]

Usually around $50 for a shower and $100 for a wedding. More for close friends/family. Never cash for a shower.

[dexteroni]

Mar 30, 2015 20:04:38 GMT -5 moolarkey said:

On Family Fued one night championship round, whatever they call it - the question was how much cash do you give for a wedding gift. The over-whelming #1 amount was $50. I was really surprised.  The reason I'm surprised is on here and other sites everyone seems to give a LOT more.

That is standard in my hometown, and I'm guessing in a lot of middle class US towns. If I gave $200 as a wedding gift in my hometown, people would think I was either crazy or showing off. Even in the medium sized city where I live, it's still only more like $100.

[moolarkey]

Mar 30, 2015 20:33:47 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:04:38 GMT -5 moolarkey said:

On Family Fued one night championship round, whatever they call it - the question was how much cash do you give for a wedding gift. The over-whelming #1 amount was $50. I was really surprised.  The reason I'm surprised is on here and other sites everyone seems to give a LOT more.

That is standard in my hometown, and I'm guessing in a lot of middle class US towns. If I gave $200 as a wedding gift in my hometown, people would think I was either crazy or showing off. Even in the medium sized city where I live, it's still only more like $100.

It's actually standard in my hometown too.

[h]

I never give cash, and only two out of about 300 guests gave us cash for our wedding, so obviously cash gifts aren't the norm with our crowd.

We usually give shower gifts in the $50-75 range and wedding gifts anywhere from $100-250 in value depending on how close we are to the couple (and, to some extent, what is available on their registry).

[cheezer]

I also received cash gifts that were in the $50 - $75 range from my parents friends and I'm from the midwest. My 2 favorite aunts/uncles gave $100 each plus a small gift. My friends at the time were a year out of college so I don't compare that at all to what people give now. Funny enough, H's parents friends who as a whole are in the same financial boat as the people invited from my hometown gave much much more. So some of it is about knowing your audience.

I generally give $150 - $250. There's a lot of variables that goes into that - how close I am, how far I've traveled, how many weddings I've attended, if I sent a shower gift. Sometimes if I'm not close I'll skip the wedding altogether and send a token gift. Sometimes I just skip altogether and don't send a gift.

I would absolutely not go to a shower that asks for cash though.

[whitemerlot]

Shower $100 family and $50 friend

Wedding $250 family and $150 friend

[irene adler]

I love this question--I feel like I come from the land of cheap bastards. $30-50 is the norm where I grew up (as was evidenced at our wedding as well) and these polls always make me feel oddly self conscious.

Fwiw, $30-50 typically covers a couples' plates at a wedding.

[sporky]

I don't give cash for showers, so I probably wouldn't attend a cash-only one. For a gift, I'll spend around $50. For the wedding, for close friends, I'd spend $100, for acquaintances it's more like $50.

[wavepool]

I would skip the cash shower unless I really loved the couple (but I can't imagine anyone I'm really close to having a cash shower!).
$50-$75 is our typical range for wedding gifts. We don't go if we're not close to the people getting married. I have actually sent just a card before when not attending and not knowing the people very well.

[genet313]

I give $200 for a less close friend...close friends anywhere between $250 and $350 depending on the relationship.    Though it's usually $250

ETA:  If I don't actually go to the wedding, I usually buy a registry gift that's between $100 and $150

[livinitup]

We always give cash ... usually $300 as a couple.

WHAT? Don't you people cover your plate??!!!!







Just Kidding !

[WinterWine]

I've only attended events for close friends and family, no acquaintances. I usually go $50-75 for the shower. $130-200 for the wedding. I prefer to buy from the registry for both, but if I know money is tight for the wedding r honeymoon, or that Ty are saving for a house, I'll give cash.

[Deleted]

We usually go $100 for a wedding, which feels like a big upgrade from them$50 that's common among my relatives.

I'm embarrassEd to admit that I was disappointed by the $100 check from my grandparents for our wedding. I was really, really hoping for another zero... (Because I'm an asshole!)

[krystee]

I typically do $50 for showers and $150 for weddings//maybe $200 for siblings or BFFs. I am in the Chicago burbs.

It does seem to vary a lot by region. When we got married, every single person in my family gave us cash and every single person in his family (various southern states) gave us gifts.

[hopenotlost]

$20 gift for a shower. I wouldn't give money.
$20 cash for a wedding. That's the norm around here for people my age. Older people gave us more for our wedding, but our age gave $20 gifts off the registry or just cash.

[LoveTrains]

I have never attended a cash shower. I normally do around $50-$75 for a bridal shower gift and $150-$200 cash for a wedding.

[just]

Mar 30, 2015 19:41:13 GMT -5 patbutcher said:

We have 6 weddings this summer. Some close friends, some not so much.

At least 4 of them have specifically requested money (no comment on my feelings on this).

So how much do you typically give for a) a close friend b) an aquaintance who felt obligated to invite you?

Also how much do you spend at the showers? I have even received a cash only shower invite?!?!?

Ugh. Knowing people/having friends is not mm.

PAT! Don't go Pat!!

[hbomdiggity]

I'm pretty sure I was 50 for shower and 100 for wedding when my close friends got married.

But that was 7-10 years ago and we make more $$ now. A new friend recently got married and I did 50/150.

I'm admittedly not a cash giver, but the idea of a cash shower is just gross.

[flatlan]

Mar 30, 2015 20:01:16 GMT -5 gatsby said:

I think that a cash only shower is tacky and I would not attend one. Otherwise I usually spend

$25 shower/$50 wedding for an acquaintance
$50 shower/$100 wedding for a closer friend

Also worth noting that I'm a teacher and my friends know that I am poor, so they don't expect extravagance from me.

This is what I do also.  We live in the midwest in a LCOL.

[v]

Mar 30, 2015 21:25:47 GMT -5 irene adler said:

I love this question--I feel like I come from the land of cheap bastards. $30-50 is the norm where I grew up (as was evidenced at our wedding as well) and these polls always make me feel oddly self conscious.

Fwiw, $30-50 typically covers a couples' plates at a wedding.

I don't know, I kind of think that we'd all be better off if giving small gifts was the custom.  For the most part, the people we've given gifts to have given gifts of comparable value to us so why not go for more reasonable gifts?

[tine]

For showers, I usually spend around $50 and weddings $200 (from both H and me). I've only been invited to weddings of close friends or family, never an acquaintance. I would probably decline a shower invite for an acquaintance and give $100-$150 for wedding.