Is this strange BYOM?

[andrewsgal]

So on another FB group I am on someone posted she was asked over for a BBQ by friends. When she asked what she could bring the host told her to bring her own meat. She along with many of us found this strange. Some people are saying it's not. So what says you SAHM board? Do you invite people over then have them bring the main dish?

[dizzycooks]

Eh if I am providing everything else I can see saying bring whatever you want to grill. I've been to parties like that, super casual and doesn't bother me. Byom to a baptism or birthday party... Not cool.

[cabbagecabbage]

I have heard of this but never seen such a party. Yes, I find it a bit strange. I'd be much more inclined to ask for sides and drinks.

[momin2013]

I have literally never heard of this in my life.

I actually don't think I've ever asked guests to bring a dish at all, let alone meat.

Yep, weird.

[andrewsgal]

Mar 30, 2015 19:58:44 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Eh if I am providing everything else I can see saying bring whatever you want to grill. I've been to parties like that, super casual and doesn't bother me. Byom to a baptism or birthday party... Not cool.

IDK it just seems odd to say "hey come for dinner but bring the main dish"

[nowa]

I have heard of this actually. Though, I wouldn't do it personally, I do remember folks doing it in college and law school and the early professional years when we were all broke.

[andrewsgal]

Mar 30, 2015 20:01:13 GMT -5 nowa said:

I have heard of this actually. Though, I wouldn't do it personally, I do remember folks doing it in college and law school and the early professional years when we were all broke.

See I can see this in college when everyone is broke.

[panicked]

It's fairly normal here. So many people have alternate diets now, it would be hard to accommodate them all.

[lala]

I have heard of it but it's usually not a traditional party - like meeting up at a park or maybe it's at a specific person's house but they're just hosting b/c they have the space - like a church group or something. Or like nowa said, a grad school type thing or maybe a block party?

I don't think it's common, though.

[andrewsgal]

Maybe it's regional;)

[dizzycooks]

Mar 30, 2015 20:00:45 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Mar 30, 2015 19:58:44 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Eh if I am providing everything else I can see saying bring whatever you want to grill. I've been to parties like that, super casual and doesn't bother me. Byom to a baptism or birthday party... Not cool.

IDK it just seems odd to say "hey come for dinner but bring the main dish"

Oh absolutely and if only do it with close friends and it would be known from the minute the invite went out, not when they offer to bring something. Seriously if they didn't offer they don't get a main course? Makes no sense.

[andrewsgal]

Mar 30, 2015 20:07:23 GMT -5 lala said:

I have heard of it but it's usually not a traditional party - like meeting up at a park or maybe it's at a specific person's house but they're just hosting b/c they have the space - like a church group or something. Or like nowa said, a grad school type thing or maybe a block party?

I don't think it's common, though.

We have done this when its like at a pool or park and everyone brings stuff to feed their family. It just seems odd to invite people for dinner then tell them to bring their own. Food allergies I could see, but even then I try to make sure we have things for those people too. We have friends who have kids that are GF and I can usually make stuff they will eat.

[lala]

Mar 30, 2015 20:10:51 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:07:23 GMT -5 lala said:

I have heard of it but it's usually not a traditional party - like meeting up at a park or maybe it's at a specific person's house but they're just hosting b/c they have the space - like a church group or something. Or like nowa said, a grad school type thing or maybe a block party?

I don't think it's common, though.

We have done this when its like at a pool or park and everyone brings stuff to feed their family. It just seems odd to invite people for dinner then tell them to bring their own. Food allergies I could see, but even then I try to make sure we have things for those people too. We have friends who have kids that are GF and I can usually make stuff they will eat.

Oh, I agree, I can't imagine doing it. But I have heard of it. 

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Dd is gluten and dairy free and literally no one has ever asked me to bring a dish for her. They always ask what they can make/buy that she can eat. How odd to ask people to bring meat. Unless it was my 21 year old cousin just graduating college,...weird.

[xtine22]

We do this with our friends. Someone will throw a get together or party at their house and will say we a grilling whatever, they will have all different sides abad munchies, everyone else will bring something else and everyone just eats whatever. We also all being our own beer and just share or the host will supply beer and at some point in the party people run out and get more beer because we are running low. These are also our good friends and it's not a formal invitation. I would think it is weird it I got an invite like that though.

[NandaB]

Bringing your own meat is NOT the same as bringing your own beer, lol


I have never heard of this in real life.

[mamaalysson]

Mar 30, 2015 20:28:30 GMT -5 xtine22 said:

We do this with our friends. Someone will throw a get together or party at their house and will say we a grilling whatever, they will have all different sides abad munchies, everyone else will bring something else and everyone just eats whatever. We also all being our own beer and just share or the host will supply beer and at some point in the party people run out and get more beer because we are running low. These are also our good friends and it's not a formal invitation. I would think it is weird it I got an invite like that though.

This, almost exactly. Not at all weird to me, and we do this sort of thing quite frequently in the summer. It's usually more of a last minute, "damn it's a nice night, let's hang out - I have the backyard and beer, you all bring food" sort of thing. Everyone brings something, we all feast and drink, and the kids run around. Those are actually my favorite parties.

[andrewsgal]

Mar 30, 2015 21:05:44 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:28:30 GMT -5 xtine22 said:

We do this with our friends. Someone will throw a get together or party at their house and will say we a grilling whatever, they will have all different sides abad munchies, everyone else will bring something else and everyone just eats whatever. We also all being our own beer and just share or the host will supply beer and at some point in the party people run out and get more beer because we are running low. These are also our good friends and it's not a formal invitation. I would think it is weird it I got an invite like that though.

This, almost exactly. Not at all weird to me, and we do this sort of thing quite frequently in the summer. It's usually more of a last minute, "damn it's a nice night, let's hang out - I have the backyard and beer, you all bring food" sort of thing. Everyone brings something, we all feast and drink, and the kids run around. Those are actually my favorite parties.

I agree we do this in the summer usually at the pool. But this is different to me than inviting someone over for dinner.

[mamaalysson]

Mar 30, 2015 21:09:10 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Mar 30, 2015 21:05:44 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

This, almost exactly. Not at all weird to me, and we do this sort of thing quite frequently in the summer. It's usually more of a last minute, "damn it's a nice night, let's hang out - I have the backyard and beer, you all bring food" sort of thing. Everyone brings something, we all feast and drink, and the kids run around. Those are actually my favorite parties.

I agree we do this in the summer usually at the pool. But this is different to me than inviting someone over for dinner.

I suppose. But it's a BBQ. BBQ's are free from normal social constraints, I think. It's casual, summer fun at it's most charcoaly best.

[arnegard]

Mar 30, 2015 20:05:27 GMT -5 panicked said:

It's fairly normal here. So many people have alternate diets now, it would be hard to accommodate them all.

This is exactly what I thought of as well.  I know a couple people that won't eat "tubed meat."  A lot of BBQ's include hot dogs or brats and this girl wouldn't touch it.  Some friend's would prefer steak, some chicken, etc.  

I've heard of and been to this type of party.  I am super casual and it doesn't bother me.

[andrewsgal]

Mar 30, 2015 21:21:47 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

Mar 30, 2015 21:09:10 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

I agree we do this in the summer usually at the pool. But this is different to me than inviting someone over for dinner.

I suppose. But it's a BBQ. BBQ's are free from normal social constraints, I think. It's casual, summer fun at it's most charcoaly best.

Lol the only dinners we do in the summer as BBQ. It's too fucking not here to cook.

[vlagrl]

If you are having a bbq party at your house and have invited guests over you should not ask them to bring meat. We ask that they bring either a side or dessert.

[justbecause]

When my aunt would invite everyone over to her camp in the summer, it was understood that you'd bring stuff to grill, a salad and drinks.
It was pretty informal. I think for close friends/family it is fine.
NOT like the other side of my family who would rudely ask "who's bringin' da meat?!"
And I'm not talking a BBQ, I'm talking thanksgiving or something. Bunch of degenerates.

[bakerlady89]

All of the bbqs I've been invited to/hosted, the host supplies the main dish/meat and guests bring sides/desserts. When we host we always let people know what we are planning on for the meats, that way if they have special diets, we can accommodate them.

[leselia]

I've been to BBQ get togethers like this. They are typically last minute as pp have said. I don't mind it at all. I might think it was weird if the event was planned a while in advance but for a spur of the moment thing, not weird.

[minismama]

I've been invited to really casual beach bqqs where the person planning it is like "I'm bringing hamburgers and hotdogs if you want to throw anything else on the grill feel free". Otherwise that's kind of weird.

[zbeesma86]

I've only witnessed this once and it was a bbq of 100 plus. They provided hot dogs for the kids & people brought sausage, steak, burgers, turkey burgers, tofu burgers, tofu dogs, chicken, pork chops, & fish.
They provided the grill & snacks & beer. Everyone just brought their choice of meat to grill.

I don't see anything wrong with it. People have allergies or are picky as fuck. This way bring what you'll actually eat.

[minerswife17]

We've hosted huge cookouts several times and never even thought about asking people to bring their own meat. Bring drinks, chips, sides whatever but meat?!?!

[panicked]

So, question for the masses. How is asking people to bring their own meat somehow more egregious than asking people to bring a side dish and their own drinks? Personally, two burgers (or whatever) requires way less prep and expenses on my part than a side dish large enough to pass and drinks. Is it that the meat is an "entree?"

[4speedy]

I have a friend who throws a party like this annually and it is one of my favorite events of the year. This family hosts several get togethers but the bar b cue the day before Mother's Day always has a "Men cooking meat" theme. This is the only party where they ask the guests to bring anything. Everythng thing else is catered. This family has a really nice outdoor kitchen/bar area so the ladies drink margaritas while the 20 or so dads cook the main courses. There is a LOT of thought that goes into this party. The guys all try to outdo each other and start researching recipes a month before hand. DH spent weeks calling all the local butchers to find out where he could get fresh pheasant to smoke last year. Awards are given for the best appetizer and best main course, as voted on by the moms.

So I vote that BYOM could go either way. It could be a weirdly cheap way to entertain or it could be a really fun theme.