For us, co-sleep. I mean, I don't even know that I had strong feelings about it BEFORE the kids were born, but since birth, we've only had DS1 in bed with us twice (sick, both times), and DS2 has never slept with us.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Character clothes, for the most part. He does have themed undies and pjs. Toys everywhere. And video in the car.
Everything else, from screen time in general, to eating in the car, to cosleeping to making meals just for him, to plastic toys, is a total fucking loss.
My H's best friend's holier-than-thou's wife, who often says things like, "X doesn't watch ANY TV! Books are his TV!" and "I just wish X's school's immersion language wasn't French! Now he will have to learn Spanish, too!" decided to FF at like 14 months so my H is convinced it's fine.
I personally am not ok with it, especially since my kid is perfectly happy RF and doesn't mind being in the car. It's my hill to die on, and generally I'm pretty breezy with this stuff.
Post by Queen Mamadala on Mar 31, 2015 11:12:49 GMT -5
Force them to eat their food. That was a big thing with my dad and stepmom. If they don't eat it, fine. They just won't eat. My older two are free to make something if they're not in the mood for whatever is for dinner that night. More deliciousness for me. My eldest is the pickier one.
Also to the clean plate. I don't remember this being a thing when I was growing up, but it was in DH's family and he feels very strongly about it. There are nights when neither kid eats dinner, and they seem to be just fine.
For those of you who did grow up in a family where this was a big deal, what was your parents' reasoning?
Also to the clean plate. I don't remember this being a thing when I was growing up, but it was in DH's family and he feels very strongly about it. There are nights when neither kid eats dinner, and they seem to be just fine.
For those of you who did grow up in a family where this was a big deal, what was your parents' reasoning?
Post by pittsmcgee on Mar 31, 2015 11:32:56 GMT -5
I can't think of anything! My poor DS...
ETA- I wasn't a spanker, but I think I spanked his butt (more like tapped) once out of desperation when he was about 3 years old. That was about 9 years ago now, so I'm pretty sure he's over it. Actually, he didn't give a shit anyway, cause it wasn't hard. And I still felt like an ass. I had a lot to learn at 23, too.
Spank Offer soda Push traditionally labeled "boy stuff" on him Waver on bedtime - except on special occassions(because mom and dad need to that time, too)
Post by underwaterrhymes on Mar 31, 2015 11:37:27 GMT -5
Also, I HATE "Ladies' Man" shirts and I will never ever buy one for either of my kids.
My in-laws LOVE them, though, and have given them as gifts. Usually I'll take a photo of him in them for their sake, but I refuse to let him go places in public in them.
Post by thebuddhagouda on Mar 31, 2015 11:40:17 GMT -5
Co-sleep Soda (my mom finally gave him his first two weeks ago. Ima be breezy about a grandma treat. I will...even though I have had exactly one soda in 20 years) Custom cooking (he doesn't have to eat what I make, but he doesn't get anything else if he doesn't at least take a few bites)
This. But the other day when I was going to the bathroom (DH wasn't home), DS was super clingy, and insisted I lean down and give him a hug. Then he stomped on my foot (where I had bunion surgery, ouch!) and as he was coming up whacked his head on my chin. (It bruised!) It all hurt so much, and happened within a split second, that my survival instincts caused me to swat at him. I didn't hit him, per se, but the force within told my arms to push away the creature that was causing me pain.
Also to the clean plate. I don't remember this being a thing when I was growing up, but it was in DH's family and he feels very strongly about it. There are nights when neither kid eats dinner, and they seem to be just fine.
For those of you who did grow up in a family where this was a big deal, what was your parents' reasoning?
Waste of food and also obsession with FEEDING kids. Eat eat eat eat eat. Greek famiy. It's a constant struggle with my mom, she will spoon feed my kids while I am not looking, encouraging as she goes to just eat eat eat, and one more bite for yiayia. KILL KILL KILL. I am a strong believer in self regulating.
Also to the clean plate. I don't remember this being a thing when I was growing up, but it was in DH's family and he feels very strongly about it. There are nights when neither kid eats dinner, and they seem to be just fine.
For those of you who did grow up in a family where this was a big deal, what was your parents' reasoning?
Scarcity of food and poverty = eat when you can or you will die. Food shortages and death was a real thing for my grandparents and previous generations. Now, not so much. .
Also to the clean plate. I don't remember this being a thing when I was growing up, but it was in DH's family and he feels very strongly about it. There are nights when neither kid eats dinner, and they seem to be just fine.
For those of you who did grow up in a family where this was a big deal, what was your parents' reasoning?
I'm pretty sure it was 75% I'm the boss of you, 10% STFU and eat, 15% waste of food.
I don't do the clean plate thing and neither did my parents, but I can see how it would get started in response to kids asking for treats. Like "eat all your dinner and THEN you can have X."
We had to find a solution to that. Now the rule is one small dessert and one fruit after dinner, regardless of whether they ate dinner or not. At first H was like "Why are they getting dessert? They didn't eat their dinner" but my reasoning is that they will want to eat the dessert even if they are not hungry, and forcing them to clean their plate when they are not hungry so that they can then also eat dessert is ridiculous.
If they just hate my dinner, well it is still just one small dessert and one fruit, because we went through a phase of them starting eating the entire fridge after dinner. Nope. Next time you'll eat dinner if you are hungry. When they complain they are hungry at bedtime I offer milk. Suck it.
I don't do the clean plate thing and neither did my parents, but I can see how it would get started in response to kids asking for treats. Like "eat all your dinner and THEN you can have X."
If L clearly is just looking to fill up on junk INSTEAD of food, we talk about how you need healthy foods to fuel your body so you don't put treats in your body if you haven't head enough healthy foods. If she ate some of her food and wants a treat, I let her. I play it by ear and am probably fucking it up sometimes, but overall I want the message to be treats are okay in moderation.
Demean. I'm pretty good at "your behavior is unacceptable" in lieu of "you are bad." I might yell it sometimes, but I don't yell insults.
This too for sure. My mom was the queen of "With that kind of attitude, you will never have any friends" or "no wonder nobody likes you" or even "That's why your boyfriend broke up with you, it's your horrible attitude and temper". Whenever I as being a jerk. Which I was, but I was a KID. It STILL stings all those years alter. I will never do that.
(I tried to discuss it with my mom in recent years. Her reasoning was that she could see me developing a horrible personality and was hoping to help me change it before it is too late. But unfortunately she failed. Thanks mom)
Post by Dumbledork on Mar 31, 2015 12:10:39 GMT -5
Move to a small town. My parents were convinced that we would want to move to a small town (hopefully their small town) after we had kids and realized how dangerous the city can be. Never going to happen.