Did anyone know that you were TTC?

[glitzy07]

When you were TTC (or if you are TTC now), do you have any friends or family that knew you were/are doing so?

H and I were having this conversation a few weeks ago because he made a remark with my sister and her boyfriend in the room about, "If you're pregnant this summer..." and I got a little flustered with him.  I told him that I would prefer that we not announce to the world that we're trying because a) that's just sort of odd to me and 2) I don't want people to wonder if we're having trouble if it takes longer than last time.

A few months ago one of my good work friends (who has three kids of his own), asked when we were planning to go for number two.  It was a totally normal conversation for us, and came up because my work BFF is currently pregnant with her second and we were pregnant at the same time last time.  At the time I said something along the lines of "Definitely not until after my vacation in March."  When I returned from said vacation, we were discussing something else and he had a lightbulb moment back to that conversation and said something (in a room full of people!) about, "Vacation is over! Tick tock!"  I shot so many daggers at him with my eyes.

I guess I honestly don't care that a few close people know that we're going in that direction, I just don't want a bunch of people silently wondering every time they see me.

Anyway, just wondering what your take is on people knowing that you're TTC?  Obviously everyone has different levels of privacy, so I'm sure it will vary.

[Willis Jackson]

No way.

[ECB]

Many people knew. Especially when we started fertility treatments.

[rbp]

No way. I secretly got an OB recommendation from page to avoid letting on to my non-GBCN friends that I was TTC.

I told one friend (a good friend who lives far away) and swore her to secrecy. When I announced my pregnancy six months later, she was SO EXCITED and was like "I was hoping you'd be pregnant soon!" But she had never said a word about it, God bless her.

[Deleted]

Yes, my parents, sister, and friends including my boss.

[glitzy07]

Apr 1, 2015 12:08:11 GMT -5 @this said:

Yes, everyone. My parents, my friends, my coworkers (we were a tight group), my message board. Maybe my boss didn't know? lol

I can keep nothing inside. It's the same IRL as it is here. No filter.

Normally this is TOTALLY me.  I don't have much of a filter with people I trust.  But apparently I do regarding TTC?

[meltoine]

First time, we weren't.

Second time, my neighbor knew. She was TTC too, and we used to walk our dogs together every morning and talk about cervical fluid, lol

Third time, we basically decided to TTC about a week before I got pregnant, so no.

[undecidedowl]

No one.

[jene]

Noooooooo

[osulori]

Apr 1, 2015 12:08:11 GMT -5 @this said:

Yes, everyone. My parents, my friends, my coworkers (we were a tight group), my message board. Maybe my boss didn't know? lol

I can keep nothing inside. It's the same IRL as it is here. No filter.

Haha, this is me to a T.  Except I'm pretty sure even my bosses knew-my department is approximately 75-80% women of childbearing age, so it's never a surprise to them.

ETA: I think I posted on my local like an hour after the pg test was positive.  The ticker got put in my sig here not long after that.  So yeah you could say I have a hard time keeping things in.  I'm working on it

[heygrey]

not with R. he wasn't a surprise, as we understand how babies are made, but he wasn't planned.

buuut, i've already got two potential timelines running for kid #2 and have told a fair amount of people about them. mostly my parents and girlfriends with whom i often over-share. i half joked with my boss that i should time another maternity leave for summer 2016 if my job is going to be eliminated then.

[kdubs923]

No, we didn't tell anyone we were trying. We announced my first pregnancy right away and then had a miscarriage. The miscarriage itself sucked, but the aftermath especially sucked because all the parents/siblings then officially knew we were trying and I felt like I was on constant bump watch.

Only my BFFs knew we were planning TTC #2. We haven't told family/friends yet that I'm pregnant (Other than BFFs), but I think they'll be surprised this time around. I've been very vague about waiting a until DS is older before we try.

I just knew too many people that had TTTC or miscarriages and didn't want the added pressure of having 30+ people asking about TTC when it's already stressful.

[cheeseandcrackers]

my best friend was the only one that knew.. no one else.

[rachelgreen]

My mom and MIL knew right away. Within 6 months most close family and friends knew we were having major issues already. Then everybody and the world knew the next 6.5 years with our infertility. I'm very, very open about our struggles. Not saying you will have any issues or anything like that, I just don't find the whole ttc topic as a secretive or shameful act. Even if you get pregnant easily, I don't find it weird to talk about starting to try.

[meij]

Not a single person either time. Hell I didn't even know the second time.

[linz]

A few friends. Our parents may have suspected but didn't know. My bff was the only one who knew about our IF and treatments. I told my parents 2 days before my IVF ER. H's parents and sister still don't know we did IVF and no one in the family does. I didn't want to deal with it at the time and now don't care to open up about it I'm sure people suspect we did something, mainly bc we have twins.

[gibbinator]

Our 2 best couple friends knew. Mostly because the 6 of us were hanging out together at a wedding reception and one couple mentioned this was their last drunk party fest before TTC. And I was like "us too!" (our kids were born a day apart lol).
My best friend knew too because I was designated driver on her bachelorette party.
Our parents kind of knew we were planning on having kids in the very near future but they didn't actually know when/if we'd pulled the goalie.

[mpc]

My message board friends knew but very few IRL friends knew the first time. This time more people know. Generally I really don't care to share that kind of info with people, but ever since my loss a few months ago I've taken to telling random people. I don't know why, I just feel compelled to.

[achi]

Initially no one knew, but it got out. We each told a few very very close friends but that was supposed to be the end of it. Then H told his blabber mouth dad who told SIL who asked us about it in front of all the extended family at a BBQ. That was just awesome. We didn't say anything to my family until my SIL (brothers wife) wouldn't let up about when we were going to sell our condo and buy a house. She asked what would happen if I got pregnant so after trying to change the subject multiple times I finally said "that's what we're waiting for" to shut her up. Thankfully H's family was good about not pestering us about it, and I got pregnant very soon after my family found out so we didn't have to endure much questioning.

Once I got pregnant, only our closest friends knew until about 10 weeks when we announced to our immediate families.

If we decide to have a second we will definitely keep it much quieter. It was nice having some friends know so I could talk about it, but even so family didn't ask about I was subjected to a lot of stomach stare downs and I definitely felt a lot of pressure.

[pinkdutchtulips]

a handful of people knew .... I wasn't charting or temping so there was a group who felt that I wasn't really TTC'ing bc i wasn't charting/temping. grrrr

thankfully of the people we told, no one badgered us with questions about it. they figured they'd hear good news when there was good news to share lol

[carolinagirl831]

I was pretty secretive, except to a few close friends. Dh and I were married for 6 years before we got pregnant. It took us 6 months to get pregnant with dd 1. I think our parents got sick of asking us when! We didn't tell anyone we were ttc with #2. They'll be 2 years apart I don't think anyone was especially surptised

[boxerdog]

Yep. I cannot keep anything to myself. Hell, half of my friends already know that I want to start trying for #2 after my sister's wedding next year.

[Queen Mamadala]

Only when my exH and I were TTC after losing ds1. My mom, close friends and other loss moms knew.

[countthestars]

Not specifically. When people asked we always said "Definitely not thinking about it until after Disney". We never came out to say that we were trying right away after Disney.

[Susie]

A couple of my closest friends knew, and my parents knew (well, I told my mom, who I assume told my dad).

The friends were mostly so I'd have an outlet.

The parents were mostly so they could steer my brother away from asking me to be their day of coordinator at their wedding. (I will be 8 months pg then. If I'd gotten pg right away, I would've had an infant.)

[nessness]

No, but I got pregnant right away. I might have told people if it had taken awhile, I don't know.

My doctor knew, but only because I was coincidentally due for a pap that month and they asked about birth control.

[noodleskooze]

IRL, no. Plan to handle it the same next time around, though I'm sure MMM will be in on it.

[runblondie26]

Well, I shared with GBCN, my mom, and close friends. I shared the postive pregnancy tests in that order as well, lol.

[ladygrey]

No way. Hell, I have a hard time even telling people that I'm pregnant, let alone TTC.

[scribellesam]

The first time around we didn't tell anyone. Second time was more of an open secret although we still didn't tell anyone. I was just so rabidly baby crazy that it was pretty obvious we wanted #2 ASAP.