If Idris Elba Were Your Boyfriend

[Velvetshady]

If Idris Elba were *my* boyfriend, I'd be spending my days hiding from @sou Desafinado

[sangria]

I fucking love me some idris Elba. He's my Hollywood husband

[Velvetshady]

Apr 1, 2015 16:07:00 GMT -5 sangria said:

I fucking love me some idris Elba. He's my Hollywood husband

Did you not read my warning?

[pixy0stix]

Did he go to the Gosling school of being a boyfriend?

[gault]

Well, he sounds delightful.

It looks like we will have to cut him into equal pieces and share him.

[jillboston]

He would bring me a jumbo bag of salt and vinegar potato chips and a gallon of chianti nekkid.

[gpw]

But, how could he be my boyfriend when he's YOUR boyfriend, Sou?


(I may or may not be afraid of Sou)

[Deleted]

So Idris is the black version of the Gos??

Uhm no.

[Deleted]

Apr 1, 2015 21:17:23 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

So Idris is the black version of the Gos??

Uhm no.

Ryan gosling was on breaker high. I feel like I could break him in half and I can barely open a jar. (He has likely bulked up since then for some role but he still seems a little scrawny)
Idris Elba is a man. And he has an accent.
If Idris Elba's clone was my boyfriend (sou can keep the original) I don't think we would ever leave the house. Except to film another season of luther.

[Deleted]

Apr 2, 2015 5:03:46 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

Apr 1, 2015 21:17:23 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

So Idris is the black version of the Gos??

Uhm no.

Ryan gosling was on breaker high. I feel like I could break him in half and I can barely open a jar. (He has likely bulked up since then for some role but he still seems a little scrawny)
Idris Elba is a man. And he has an accent.
If Idris Elba's clone was my boyfriend (sou can keep the original) I don't think we would ever leave the house. Except to film another season of luther.

Yes, yes, I know the physical differences, thank you. I was referring to the internet's annoying ass habit of painting Ryan Gosling as some kind of overly emotional perfect boyfriend who makes picnic lunches and organizes a girl's fabric stash.

Idris ain't that.

[wawa]

Apr 2, 2015 8:00:17 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Apr 2, 2015 5:03:46 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

Ryan gosling was on breaker high. I feel like I could break him in half and I can barely open a jar. (He has likely bulked up since then for some role but he still seems a little scrawny)
Idris Elba is a man. And he has an accent.
If Idris Elba's clone was my boyfriend (sou can keep the original) I don't think we would ever leave the house. Except to film another season of luther.

Yes, yes, I know the physical differences, thank you. I was referring to the internet's annoying ass habit of painting Ryan Gosling as some kind of overly emotional perfect boyfriend who makes picnic lunches and organizes a girl's fabric stash.

Idris ain't that.

Right?  LIke this:
"
If Idris Elba were your boyfriend, it would not be unusual for you to read aloud to each other. “Keep going, babe,” he’d say after you finished a page of whatever supernaturally themed YA novel you were reading that week."

Ummm.  Wut?  No he wouldn't. He'd say, Ok, enough of that. And then he'd take off his pants. 

His clone I mean.  Not the original.  Obvs.  Sou knows roughly where I live.  I don't wanna die.

Also who thinks that sounds fun?  I hate reading out loud.  It slows my reading speed to like 1/8th of my normal speed.  I can talk fast, but not THAT fast.  And my mouth gets all dry.

[Deleted]

If Idris Elba were my boyfriend, I would be surprised on a number of levels.

[Deleted]

Apr 2, 2015 8:36:35 GMT -5 wawa said:

Right?  LIke this:
"
If Idris Elba were your boyfriend, it would not be unusual for you to read aloud to each other. “Keep going, babe,” he’d say after you finished a page of whatever supernaturally themed YA novel you were reading that week."

Ummm.  Wut?  No he wouldn't. He'd say, Ok, enough of that. And then he'd take off his pants. 

His clone I mean.  Not the original.  Obvs.  Sou knows roughly where I live.  I don't wanna die.

Also who thinks that sounds fun?  I hate reading out loud.  It slows my reading speed to like 1/8th of my normal speed.  I can talk fast, but not THAT fast.  And my mouth gets all dry.

Yeah, I don't need to live out some trite contemporary romance novel in my daily life. Like this:



I would kill him. And Idris is too much man to be stuck in alladat. No and no. I want him, I mean his clone, duh, to be all rough and shit. Tender of course on anniversaries and shit, a good gift giver but we don't need to discuss pinterest. That's my hobby. You just sit over there in your well fitting jeans and man muscles and fix my sink, baby. That's a good man. And don't look at me like that, this fabric is for a special project.

I don't need a man to enable me, ffs. Hobby shame keeps some of my stash acquisition in check. 

[Deleted]

Let's not do this to Idris either



The shirtless part I'll allow though.

Often.

[gpw]

you know, Sou hasn't posted much in this thread lately.  You know she's out looking for the people that didn't give her proper credit in this here.  

I am thankful for my healthy respect for Sou right now. 

[CallingAllAngels]

Apr 2, 2015 8:47:19 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

You just sit over there in your well fitting jeans and man muscles and fix my sink, baby. That's a good man. And don't look at me like that, this fabric is for a special project

If, heaven forbid, I end up single again, this is exactly what I'm looking for in a man.  Except it would be workout clothes, not fabric, that I'm buying. 

[wawa]

Apr 2, 2015 9:11:56 GMT -5 @soudesafinado said:

Apr 2, 2015 8:36:35 GMT -5 wawa said:

Right?  LIke this:
"
If Idris Elba were your boyfriend, it would not be unusual for you to read aloud to each other. “Keep going, babe,” he’d say after you finished a page of whatever supernaturally themed YA novel you were reading that week."

Ummm.  Wut?  No he wouldn't. He'd say, Ok, enough of that. And then he'd take off his pants. 

His clone I mean.  Not the original.  Obvs.  Sou knows roughly where I live.  I don't wanna die.

Also who thinks that sounds fun?  I hate reading out loud.  It slows my reading speed to like 1/8th of my normal speed.  I can talk fast, but not THAT fast.  And my mouth gets all dry.

But...my lover reads Game of Thrones to me and, it's hawt. I read to him too. It's also hawt. That said, he's a professor, and I write for a living and we are both nerds so....


Still, I don't need all that from Idris. Just be my boyfriend. I'm good right there.

I could see it being pleasant for people who are not me. I get impatient with audio books and IRL reading aloud.