Preschool incident - WWYD?

[gennyu]

(Sorry for the lame title.)

DS came home from preschool and I noticed a clean tear in his shirt sleeve. I asked him what happened and he told me that his best friend cut it with scissors during lunch. First the friend asked if he could, DS said no, but the friend did it anyway. I asked DS if the teacher knew about this and he said he told her.  When I asked about her response he said he didn't know.  That's all I got out of him, and it was like (gently) pulling teeth.

Anyway, what, if anything, should I do in this situation?  Should I follow up with the teacher?  Just let it go? It is the first incident of conflict we have had all year.

Also, what do you think I should say to DS?

Have to P&R but will be checking back in later this afternoon. Thanks!

[amynumbers]

I'd just call and ask. I mean, depending on the age, it sounds like normal kid stuff and not that he is a scissor wielding sociopath, but I would totally call and ask in a non-accusatory way.

[andrewsgal]

I think it is totally normal kid stuff. You could call and ask. I wouldn't but it wouldn't be a big deal if you did.

[abs]

I'd let it go. I would just remind your DS that scissors are for paper only and to tell a teacher if his friends forget that. This happened to DD a few weeks ago. She came home with a cut on her shirt and she says a friend did it but I don't believe her. So, I didn't say anything to her teachers.

Scissors are allowed at lunchtime?

[Rainyday]

I would just let it go. It sounds like there are two sides to this story and the truth lies somewhere in between.
Is your concern that they had scissors unsupervised or that the shirt has a hole in it?

[momin2013]

I probably would call, but it would be more with a question as to why a kid had scissors during lunch.

[amynumbers]

Apr 15, 2015 12:27:12 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

I probably would call, but it would be more with a question as to why a kid had scissors during lunch.

Yeah, this.

I'm not saying even punish the kid or anything -- but I would just want to 1) confirm what the kid said was true because preschoolers are lying jerks sometimes and 2) maybe sort of passive aggressively dig at why they didn't tell me?

Like I said, I'm not even sure the kid needs to be punished, but I have a hard time buying preschool kids can just have scissors all will nilly at lunch.  Or can damage clothes.

[lala]

I might ask the next time I was at school if I remembered. It is odd that a kid would have scissors at lunch, since usually they're pretty strict with that stuff, but who knows.

[amynumbers]

I'm in no way saying this is right, because I think the current world is bonkers.

But let's be real, this is world where kids have been suspended from school for making shooting gun motions with their finger. So I have to imagine if an adult actually saw on knew this went down, they would have to notify you.

My guess is maybe the teacher didn't know, and that is likely why I would just want to confirm.

[autumnfire]

I'm like others and wondering what a pre-school aged child was doing with scissors during lunch seemingly unaware to whoever was watching them during lunch.

How many children are in the class and when your child told his teacher what did she do/say? So if I called in and I likely would I'd just ask about his shirt and see if she gives you all the details.  Basically, I'd just make an inquiry to make sure she was aware this did indeed happen. And if she did and didn't tell me I'd be a bit put off by that.

[cna]

I might let the teacher know some kid has scissors at lunch, but otherwise would let it go.

[cna]

Apr 15, 2015 12:35:29 GMT -5 amynumbers said:

I'm in no way saying this is right, because I think the current world is bonkers.

But let's be real, this is world where kids have been suspended from school for making shooting gun motions with their finger. So I have to imagine if an adult actually saw on knew this went down, they would have to notify you.

My guess is maybe the teacher didn't know, and that is likely why I would just want to confirm.

DS1 and another kid got in trouble last week for "sword fighting" with their pencils. His teacher was not amused when I tried to confirm whether they were actually stabbing each other with pencils.

[Rainyday]

Scissors at lunch could actually be before lunch, after lunch, my preschooler gets confused with timelines and sequences sometimes:-)

[amynumbers]

Apr 15, 2015 12:49:15 GMT -5 cna said:

Apr 15, 2015 12:35:29 GMT -5 amynumbers said:

I'm in no way saying this is right, because I think the current world is bonkers.

But let's be real, this is world where kids have been suspended from school for making shooting gun motions with their finger. So I have to imagine if an adult actually saw on knew this went down, they would have to notify you.

My guess is maybe the teacher didn't know, and that is likely why I would just want to confirm.

DS1 and another kid got in trouble last week for "sword fighting" with their pencils. His teacher was not amused when I tried to confirm whether they were actually stabbing each other with pencils.

But someone told you they got in trouble, right?  

[amynumbers]

burp

[Kcthepouchh8r]

I wouldn't be annoyed that it happened because preschoolers are weird but I would be annoyed I didn't get an explanation. Team call and ask.

[amynumbers]

Apr 15, 2015 12:58:41 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

I wouldn't be annoyed that it happened because preschoolers are weird but I would be annoyed I didn't get an explanation. Team call and ask.

Yes! #TeamKC.  I really surprised more people didn't think that.  

[cna]

Apr 15, 2015 12:55:53 GMT -5 amynumbers said:

Apr 15, 2015 12:49:15 GMT -5 cna said:

DS1 and another kid got in trouble last week for "sword fighting" with their pencils. His teacher was not amused when I tried to confirm whether they were actually stabbing each other with pencils.

But someone told you they got in trouble, right?  

It was written in his folder as an explanation for why he was on yellow that day.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Apr 15, 2015 13:01:30 GMT -5 amynumbers said:

Apr 15, 2015 12:58:41 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

I wouldn't be annoyed that it happened because preschoolers are weird but I would be annoyed I didn't get an explanation. Team call and ask.

Yes! #TeamKPouch. I really surprised more people didn't think that.  

FTFY

[amynumbers]

Apr 15, 2015 13:02:51 GMT -5 cna said:

Apr 15, 2015 12:55:53 GMT -5 amynumbers said:

But someone told you they got in trouble, right?  

It was written in his folder as an explanation for why he was on yellow that day.

Yeah, I think that is all you need.  I am just surprised there was a note like "Someone cut Sammy's shirt today, FYI".  

[nicolewi]

I'd mostly just want to make sure that the teacher KNEW the kid had scissors, so yeah, I would mention it. Just like, 'Hey, FYI, I"m not sure exactly what happened but DS had a cut in his shirt yesterday and he said that so-and-so did it at lunch. I'm not concerned about the shirt and don't know which part of DS's story is true, but I thought you'd want to know in case the kids are taking scissors out of the scissors area."

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Also if I got an "I don't know what happened" I'd be totally side eyeing preschoolers not well supervised with a scissors.

[gennyu]

Thanks for all the feedback. To clarify, my concern is not for the shirt, but for the fact that I found out about what happened via a half-story from DS instead of from his teacher. And also that scissors were apparently used in an unsupervised setting. I will get to school early on Friday to chat with his teacher about it...I truly wonder if she even knows something happened. If nothing else she will be clued in that the scissors need to be kept under a closer watch.

But I don't want to make too a big deal of it because DS doesn't seem bothered and he seriously worships this friend. I doubt it was done with any malice and I don't want the friend to be punished in any way for it.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Apr 15, 2015 13:16:03 GMT -5 gennyu said:

Thanks for all the feedback. To clarify, my concern is not for the shirt, but for the fact that I found out about what happened via a half-story from DS instead of from his teacher. And also that scissors were apparently used in an unsupervised setting. I will get to school early on Friday to chat with his teacher about it...I truly wonder if she even knows something happened. If nothing else she will be clued in that the scissors need to be kept under a closer watch.

But I don't want to make too a big deal of it because DS doesn't seem bothered and he seriously worships this friend. I doubt it was done with any malice and I don't want the friend to be punished in any way for it.

I can't imagine where a teacher would punish a preschool age kid for something that she missed days prior.

[lala]

I would likely assume the teacher did know and in the hustle of pick up forgot to tell you. Our teachers don't do notes, though, it's almost always in person.

[gennyu]

Apr 15, 2015 13:21:04 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Apr 15, 2015 13:16:03 GMT -5 gennyu said:

Thanks for all the feedback. To clarify, my concern is not for the shirt, but for the fact that I found out about what happened via a half-story from DS instead of from his teacher. And also that scissors were apparently used in an unsupervised setting. I will get to school early on Friday to chat with his teacher about it...I truly wonder if she even knows something happened. If nothing else she will be clued in that the scissors need to be kept under a closer watch.

But I don't want to make too a big deal of it because DS doesn't seem bothered and he seriously worships this friend. I doubt it was done with any malice and I don't want the friend to be punished in any way for it.

I can't imagine where a teacher would punish a preschool age kid for something that she missed days prior.

You're right; punished was too strong a word.

[andrewsgal]

How old is a kid that needs supervised cutting?

[gennyu]

Apr 15, 2015 15:35:53 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

How old is a kid that needs supervised cutting?

It's a class of 3 and 4 year olds...who are obviously lacking in impulse control :?

[NandaB]

Apr 15, 2015 18:03:50 GMT -5 gennyu said:

Apr 15, 2015 15:35:53 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

How old is a kid that needs supervised cutting?

It's a class of 3 and 4 year olds...who are obviously lacking in impulse control :?

Old enough to cut a kids shirt? Lol. I mean, G os almost 4 and in class with other 3-4 yr olds. They use scissors with supervision from the teacher (like she's in the room monitoring the project in assuming) and are put aeay when the project is over. I'm pretty sure the scissors aren't just on the lunch table available for clothing alterations during lunch.

[Alyssa]

I think the only thing that would bother me is a classmate was able to cut a child's shirt and no one seemed to notice or care.