Ok, "needing a place to stay" means just that and that you are not, in fact, fully hosting her. I'd honestly tell her that you'll give her some space in the fridge and a cabinet for her to store some food. Id host ONE dinner, do the Napa thing, and call it a day.
Seriously. I just don't see "needing a place to stay" as the same as "we're having a friend in town". That tells me that she's there for other reasons.
Oh I should have been clear that she does have plans for some of it. I'm definitely not planning lots of meals and things.
Fortunately finding sustainable wines in Napa is not hard, there is a list of like a hundred of them because it is just a stupid buzzword, not a real thing.
I'm really not that concerned about the challenges of feeding her and entertaining her. Those are minor issues, really.
I am more concerned about dealing with the overwhelming pretentiousness that comes with these kinds of dietary demands.
Post by tacosforlife on Apr 16, 2015 10:44:12 GMT -5
What kind of laundry detergent do you wash your towels in? Is it sulfate free and eco-friendly? What about the soap you use to wash your dishes? Is your coffee fair trade? I assume your coffee creamer is just whole milk humanely extracted from the goats living next door.
He thinks it is ridiculous. But maybe because he's known her longer and knows more about her other than this, that he can be like, "oh but we will have fun anyway!"
I said it before and I agree w/ everyone else who is saying it too- take her to the store and let her pick some stuff up. She has an insane list of dietary demands and SHE Needs to take responsiblity for it.
Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but it almost makes me pissed that she's all "Oh, here's my list of food issues" and then expects you to deal with it. NO. I live this w/ my son and i never, ever go anywhere w/ him where I'm not prepared with food for him. Unless someone out and out tells me "I'm going to have ___ and ___ for DS", I go fully prepared. And this includes vacations. I either take a cooler of food with us or we find a local store where I can pick stuff up. Never EVER do I put it on our hosts.
AND as your DH seems to be more accepting of it, also put it on HIM to at least come up w/ meals to make. Even if you're willing to make them, fine, but make him do some of the legwork here too. This is his friend.
She's crazy, let her take care of her crazy. Do not shop for her. She can eat what you've got or she can starve or she can pick up the phone and order sustainable delivery.
You're not required to pander to this. Don't do it.
Post by irene adler on Apr 16, 2015 11:28:17 GMT -5
How is Capt. Sustainable arriving? Solar powered car? Bicycle? Has she purchased carbon offsets for any traditional transportation (like car or airplane...eww)
None of this food issues are really that hard to deal with for me. We buy mostly organic dairy. I have a pantry full of gluten free grains - like four kinds of rice, quinoa, millet, polenta, etc. I have friends with every kind of dietary issue imaginable, and regularly cook for my friend that is a lactose intolerant, celiac, and vegetarian.
Thinking of food to cook is not actually the problem at all. Well, other than wondering about what precise kind of egg suits her fancy.
Other than packing a picnic and having breakfast supplies, there's not much else to do. Picnic is a quinoa salad with chickpeas, vegetables and dip, fruit, and cheese. There is nothing hard about that at all. If she does not like it, I will eat it and she can go to a store and buy things.
That is the easy part. The hard part is being around someone like this.
"Gluten free, soy free, I eat a limited amount of limited sustainable dairy products, and I haven't been eating mammals." And she only wants "sustainable wines" while in Napa.
I'm all for accommodating guests, but weird guests who make fusses and are vague receive less accommodation. There's no way short of mind reading for anyone to know what her "limited amounts of limited dairy" would include, so I would be honest and reply "I'm not sure if what we have on hand will qualify, but you're welcome to anything we have. And I'll try to have a short list of grocery stores and restaurants that will be able to provide you with what you need." I would make some effort to buy foods that I think she would eat, but I wouldn't stray too far from what we would normally eat, so it doesn't go to waste if it doesn't meet her criteria. And I would ask for specific breakfast foods. GF oats and granola are pricey, and if she's not going to want them, I don't want to spend the extra money on them.
For the picnic, what about Fiesta Bean Salad for her? It's awesome, and I believe it would qualify. Then maybe hummus, tapenade, and GF crackers, and some fresh fruits and veggies cut to snacking size. Whole Foods should have a decent GF brownie or cookie option if she eats sweets.
And I would leave it up to her to figure out where the sustainable wineries are. Maybe add something like "Unfortunately, I don't know the first thing about where the sustainable wineries are. If you know of some, let us know and we can plan our visits around them."
I'm feeling biznatchy today, so my response would be along the lines of if you've got that many demands, then you need to make the plans. Seriously. I wouldn't spend a second planning anything.
eta: now that I see you're just dreading the time, I'll add, I'd be drunk for the three days. HTH!
"Gluten free, soy free, I eat a limited amount of limited sustainable dairy products, and I haven't been eating mammals." And she only wants "sustainable wines" while in Napa.
I'm all for accommodating guests, but weird guests who make fusses and are vague receive less accommodation. There's no way short of mind reading for anyone to know what her "limited amounts of limited dairy" would include, so I would be honest and reply "I'm not sure if what we have on hand will qualify, but you're welcome to anything we have. And I'll try to have a short list of grocery stores and restaurants that will be able to provide you with what you need." I would make some effort to buy foods that I think she would eat, but I wouldn't stray too far from what we would normally eat, so it doesn't go to waste if it doesn't meet her criteria. And I would ask for specific breakfast foods. GF oats and granola are pricey, and if she's not going to want them, I don't want to spend the extra money on them.
For the picnic, what about Fiesta Bean Salad for her? It's awesome, and I believe it would qualify. Then maybe hummus, tapenade, and GF crackers, and some fresh fruits and veggies cut to snacking size. Whole Foods should have a decent GF brownie or cookie option if she eats sweets.
And I would leave it up to her to figure out where the sustainable wineries are. Maybe add something like "Unfortunately, I don't know the first thing about where the sustainable wineries are. If you know of some, let us know and we can plan our visits around them."
I said up thread that we actually do know where the sustainable wineries are. There's a long list online, including many we have visited before. It's just normal wineries that slap a "sustainable" label on their wine as a gimmick that apparently people like her fall for.
These are not actual challenges because there are so many people like her in this area. I just don't actually happen to ordinarily willingly like to hang out with people like this.
She used to live in the area, so she knows where to shop.
I'm afraid people got the the wrong idea about my original post. I am definitely not fretting about how to accommodate her. I am someone who tends to go a little above and beyond when it comes to hosting because I enjoy it, so that's why I joked about the eggs, but I've got no problem throwing in the towel if I have to.
I am fretting about having to socialize with someone like this, because she's obviously a total pretentious weirdo.
I'm afraid people got the the wrong idea about my original post. I am definitely not fretting about how to accommodate her.
I am fretting about having to socialize with someone like this, because she's obviously a total pretentious weirdo.
Yes, I think so; I definitely did. I wouldn't be looking forward to spending three days with her, either. Will you get any breaks? Hopefully she's in town for some event that you aren't attending?
I don't think you should have to provide all meals for her. She is an adult and can buy her own food. Point her in the right direction to the nearest natural food store.