Do you accept money from family?

[meganew]

If your parents/grandparents offer to buy you sonethung or give you money, do you take it? Does it make you feel weird- like you're still a kid?

My mom offered to help pay for plane tickets to come out to SD to see her and some other family. We haven't been out there since Ollie was a baby, and my (ex step) grandmother is getting up in age, though she's still very healthy. I don't know. Part of me says "just shut up and take it" but I stil feel weird. My grandmother was going to give us her car since she can't drive anymore, but when Walter cat needed a $4k surgery she just sold it and gave us the money. It feels like too much.

Maybe I'm over thinking this.

[AmeliaBedelia]

I don't usually have a problem letting my parents buy a plane ticket if it's for a family vacation they insist I come along on, or something like that. Other things, no.

[pantsparty]

If they are offering, then I wouldn't feel weird about it.

[iamgrace]

Yes.

[killercupcake]

I used to feel weird about taking money and big gifts from my parents, but it was my own hangup. I told my mom that I didn't want them to feel like I expected them to do these things for me/us. She told me that she knows we're grateful and she's happy to be able to do things for us.

So now I don't feel awkward.

I don't feel weird when my grandparents give gifts either, but that doesn't happen very often anymore.

[noodleskooze]

It would depend on the circumstances. In the situation you're outlining, yes,

[meganew]

I guess it just makes me feel like I don't have my shit together, but damn plane tickets for 3 people is a lot!

[wambam]

Both of our parents are fairly well off. Over they years they've both been exceedingly generous for gifts. I have never rejected a gift. Unless we were very desperate, I would not ask them for anything. But I don't think anything good could come from rejecting a gift from them.

[craftyone]

My Mom give me money for the kids all the time. Me for birthdays and Christmas. We don't need the money and they aren't hurting to give it to us. I don't feel weird cashing the checks. LOL I can always use the money and I figure I might as well have it now when my Mom can enjoy seeing what I got for the kids (she lives 10 hours away) then after the will is read. Plus I think my mom would be kind of upset that I don't take her gift. She still wants to parent and take care of kids/grandkids even when we are grown.

[underwaterrhymes]

Yes, we do.

[revolution]

I do. Or did. It doesn't happen anymore but when my dad was alive he used to give me money for stuff and I'd happily take it. He bought me tired and plane tickets and random stuff. My great grandmother bought me a brand new car when I was 18.

[saywhatnow]

Apr 18, 2015 15:06:57 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

If they are offering, then I wouldn't feel weird about it.

This. My IL's pay for dinner about 8/10 times we go out with them. They also gave us the down payment on our first house. Sooo, yes. We never ask, are always appreciative when they do and they can more than afford it. Luckily I have the kind of in laws where this comes with no strings attached. If that's the case with you as well, I'd say go ahead and accept it graciously.

[CurlyQ284]

Yes but it's not uncommon in my family and they get insulted if you don't take it because you must think theyre poor. It's unhealthy. I usually protest once though because it feels weird not to.

[katfco]

My MIL and FIL buy us so much for the kids, and it's still hard for me to accept, but I know part of it is to help us out because I'm not working full time, and part of it is because MIL is a very generous woman. I also know part of it is because she doesn't like the fact that I'd buy stuff from consignment stores and FIL still kind of sees us all as kids.

I've tried to ignore the negative reasons and focus on the positives.

[flex]

I do.

And hell no it doesn't make me feel weird. Only grateful.

[jellymankelly]

My parents buy me stuff, give me cash for holidays, offer to pay for car repairs, etc. It's just the way they like to do things. Their parents weren't able to help them when they were just starting out, so they like being able to do it for my brother and me. When I was more established and a newlywed, we didn't accept help as much, but after my divorce, after having to start back at zero, I'm okay with things like them offering to help with daycare for a week, or something like that. I'd only feel bad if I asked for the help, but taking the help they offer helps me, and it helps them to worry less about the kids and me.

ETA: I am also EXTREMELY grateful for the help, and try to show them so. They aren't the "we did x for you, so you have to do y for me" type, and that helps.

[Kristinmo]

Yep. I never ask but I never say no.

[themysteriouswife]

Depends on the situation. We just got a check from FIL today. It's a house warming gift. He wanted to buy us something and H said no. He sent cash and made the check to me.

From my mom or MIL, nope. They can barely feed themselves or pay for necessary items.

GMIL almost always buys DD's back to school clothes. We say no and she still buys them. I learned to accept it or DD will have three times the amount of clothes she needs. She often fills our car up with gas too. It's what she does to feel helpful.

My dad is a rare gem of gifts. When he offers we take it. It means something to him or he would not offer.

[Deleted]

Hahaha no
Neither of my parents have/had any money.

[irishbride2]

All the time. It's good estate planning

It doesn't make me feel like a kid. If they treated it as such I would not accept.

[sapphireblue]

Yes, I take the money and I don't feel bad about it. My mother always says that her parents helped her and now she is paying them back by helping me. That's how she believes that it works.

I would feel uncomfortable asking them for help but when they offer it I take it.

[Deleted]

Yes I do and no I never feel weird. Hopefully when I have kids I can be as generous as my family has been to me...pay it forward

[whitemerlot]

Neither of our parents have money to give. Sometimes my h's parents give us $20-40 in cash for a gift and I really wish they didn't.

[MrsAggie]

Yes we do from my parents. I would feel weird if it was H's parents because we rarely see them and aren't that close. We see my family all of the time.

[eddy]

hellz yes

[RoxMonster]

I do. My parents will sometimes offer to pay for something for the house or what not and I definitely don't expect it and am very grateful for it, but yes, I do accept it without guilt.

[bonquiqui]

I certainly would lol

[gibbinator]

Yes. I mean, I make a polite attempt at refusal, but inside I'm like "give me the money!". I love free money. My mom still often buys my clothes* when we go shopping together.

*we go to second hand places so it's only like $10-20, and only a few times a year.

[ginap]

I try not to accept much from my parents because they aren't in a great financial position, but its different with my IL's. My mil just recently bought us a new washer and dryer, fridge, and mattress, which I gleefully accepted because they have the money to be generous.

[hopecounts]

Only as gifts (i.e. the ILs gave us money towards a down payment as our wedding gift, have taken us on trips as bday/christmas gifts since all 3 of our bdays are within a month, that kind of thing)

I think if your parents are in a position to do this and want to it's fine to accept it and say thank you.