Can we do tales of bad weddings?

[v]

Anyone have any good stories of weddings they attended that were shitshows?

Interpret "shitshow" how you'd like -- major etiquette breaches, tackiness, bad behavior, etc. all count!

[LoveTrains]

Apr 21, 2015 6:18:08 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Most recently I went a wedding similar to the one Mrs. Spunky did where it was during dinner time but we weren't fed or warned. It was cash bar, which is annoying but whatever, but we also had to pay for soft drinks which I think is insane (especially when you're NOT FEEDING US). 

I also went to a wedding once with a cash bar, including paying for soft drinks. It was for a former colleague. This was like 7 years ago or so - and this woman was also on the ne.st/the kn.ot. A thread came up shortly thereafter about weddings with cash bars and I complained that we had to pay for soft drinks. She read the post and totally defriended me over it. 

[LoveTrains]

Apr 21, 2015 6:29:37 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Apr 21, 2015 6:26:46 GMT -5 LoveTrains said:

I also went to a wedding once with a cash bar, including paying for soft drinks. It was for a former colleague. This was like 7 years ago or so - and this woman was also on the ne.st/the kn.ot. A thread came up shortly thereafter about weddings with cash bars and I complained that we had to pay for soft drinks. She read the post and totally defriended me over it. 

Oops! But c'mon, really? Having to pay for a selzter or coke at a wedding is insane.

I agree!! especially since I made a lot less money back then and brought nips in my purse. I was fully planning on getting free soda and pouring the nips into them to make mixed drinks.  :drink: 

[shortstax]

I was at a rehearsal dinner where the bride announced they wouldnt be getting married. There was a lot of nervous giggling thinking it was a joke. Nope.

She had a gut feeling he was cheating for months, but ignored it and he totally gaslighted her. She said she just realized she couldnt deny the gut feeling, they went outside the restaurant to talk, and only she came back.

His family stormed out (without paying for the RD, as planned.)

It was like out of a movie. I helped make phone calls to random guests that the wedding was cancelled. AWKWARD!

A week later groom moved out of their apt, and into his GF's house! Major bullet dodged. Asshole.

[Velar Fricative]

I am thankful for my circle of friends/family because we've been fed well at every wedding, with enough seats for everyone. Some weddings had some odd things but as people have said, as long as there is plentiful food, booze and chairs, it's all good.

[scout8]

Ceremony was at a nice place, but reception was room attached to a bar. Cash bar for all drinks, even non alcoholic. (Cash bar is not unusual in this area, but you would normally get free soda). I was starving as I hadn't eaten lunch and the buffet was bags of wonder bread and stacks of bologna, so you could make your own sandwich. There were bowls of chips as a side.

Dessert was cake. The bride got mad when the groom did the smash cake in her face thing. So she dumped champagne on his head and then ran and cried in the bathroom.

Several of us left early and went out to eat.

I know that not everyone wants to or is able to spend a lot on a wedding. Still, they could have done something so much better. The ceremony was in this historic old mansion. They could have had the ceremony in the afternoon and then had cake and punch after in the same place. Or after dinner and done it all by candle light and then had dessert.

[scout8]

That's crazy shortstax!

[Deleted]

We went to one a few years back where the 'cocktail hour' ended up lasting 3 and the only food served at it was one grocery store cheese tray and one grocery store cruidite tray for 150 people. And the bar would only pour you a single half pint at a time, no grabbing drinks for others.

Then when the dinner came it was abysmally bad. I was starving and couldn't stomach it.
Dh and I got giant ice cream sundaes on the way back to our hotel because it was the only place open at 10pm.

[ECB]

Two stories that come to mind:

The best man gave his speech. You know the whole saying about "I'm not losing a friend, I'm gaining a friend?". Yeah, he basically said the opposite. I can't remember exactly what he said, but all our jaws were on the floor. It was his best friend and he really felt that by his friend getting married, he was losing his friend.

The bride who, when the DJ played a song she specifically didn't want played, ran into the bathroom crying - CRYING. And of course her mom and sisters went in to try and calm her down, etc. After like 15 minutes, she finally came out.

[nomad100]

We were at a wedding with like 200 people and they had a buffet line for dinner. Which isn't bad in itself.

What was bad is the single line and waiting over an hour after being seated to actually get food, which was pretty much the last bits (no meat or salad left, just some random veggies) by the time we got up to the line. I think I had a small serving of mashed potatoes and a few carrots and beans. Then they ran out of cake.

Add in that there were almost no apps to eat (one platter of cheese and crackers and a platter of veggies with dip for 200 people) while we all waited for the wedding party to arrive (which was like an hour after we all got there since they wanted to drive around and drink since the reception was dry) with the fact the reception was at a hall in the middle of nowhere so running out to get something to eat was out and it was a cluster.

[mbcdefg]

I went to one where the Older Brother was getting married and Younger Brother was the best man (not my brothers).

Younger Brother gets up to give the toast and explains how he met Bride on the couple's first real date (or an early date, I forget, but either way it was very early in their relationship) - the date was a group of their friends and YB on an overnight trip to see a show in another city. YB explains how he walks into OB's hotel room to borrow something and suddenly sees a naked Bride scurrying away to hide. "So, just so you know, Mr. and Mrs. BridesParents, your daughter puts out on the first date."

Yikes. Everyone looked horrified. OB and Bride were mortified. YB then rambled on with some go-nowhere list of things about OB before someone just kind of stopped him and everyone awkwardly applauded.

YB got married a few years later and OB was his best man. We were holding out breaths for OB's vengeance toast, but OB gave an extremely classy and sweet speech.

There was another one recently where MOH got really stinking drunk between the end of the ceremony and start of the reception (the part where the bridal party goes off in the limo to take pics). She had to be carried into the reception hall and immediately went to lay on the bathroom floor. Guests didn't see but MH was a GM so he filled me in. She managed to rally, like, 10 seconds before the DJ introduced her and Best Man into the room, and her MOH toast was a little rambling but quite cute.

[scout8]

Apr 21, 2015 7:39:56 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I went to one where the Older Brother was getting married and Younger Brother was the best man (not my brothers).

Younger Brother gets up to give the toast and explains how he met Bride on the couple's first real date (or an early date, I forget, but either way it was very early in their relationship) - the date was a group of their friends and YB on an overnight trip to see a show in another city. YB explains how he walks into OB's hotel room to borrow something and suddenly sees a naked Bride scurrying away to hide. "So, just so you know, Mr. and Mrs. BridesParents, your daughter puts out on the first date."

Yikes. Everyone looked horrified. OB and Bride were mortified. YB then rambled on with some go-nowhere list of things about OB before someone just kind of stopped him and everyone awkwardly applauded.

Yikes is right. I was horrified just reading about it. 

[panicked]

I honestly haven't been to a ton of weddings (thank god), but at my sisters wedding, her new BIL told them to "fuck like rabbits" during his speech. It was completely inappropriate and you could hear everyone gasp and then go very quiet as he finished the speech.

[audette]

Probably not "bad" in the way OP meant, but DH and I attended the wedding of a friend that had terminal cancer. The wedding had to be postponed once or twice because of chemo treatments, and then they finally managed to get it scheduled, but every single person there knew the situation. So it was a bit of a bittersweet wedding.

Her funeral was at the exact same church, about a year later.

[ddi741]

1. We went to a wedding, cash bar for all drinks (alcoholic and non) except water and sweet tea and drinks were $$$. The bride and grooms drinks weren't free either. We ended up buying them a few drinks, our bar bill for the night was $200.

2. Went to one wedding where the girl friend of an uncle was drunk prior to the ceremony. Fortunately the ceremony was only 10 minutes long. But she passed out in a chair in the reception room. People at her table, moved her away from them (still passed out in the chair). Others got their picture taken with her, passed out in the chair. Eventually uncle took her back to their room (reception was in a hotel). I was impressed, she slept a few hours, and rallied and showed back up at the reception.


3. Went to another wedding (I didn't know the Bride or groom, I was the guest of a friend), They had met on the highway. He paid her toll or something and she flagged him down and they met at a rest stop or something like that. Anyway, in the reception room, there was a HUGE sign, made up to look like an interstate sign, except it said "Intercourse 95".

[ECB]

Apr 21, 2015 8:08:09 GMT -5 ddi741 said:

Anyway, in the reception room, there was a HUGE sign, made up to look like an interstate sign, except it said "Intercourse 95".

:?

ETA: At least it didn't say "intercourse 69"??

[spunkarella]

The ceremony was nice. The reception must have had at least 300 people in a space meant for...I don't know how many, but nowhere remotely close to 300. There were no chairs, just tall tables for standing.

It was literally more packed with wall to wall people than Savannah on St Patrick's Day. I can not over exaggerate this. We could not move. People were spilling onto the sidewalk and down the street. I think there was food and cake, but we couldn't see or move through the mass of people, so we left after maybe 15 minutes.

[yentl]

I've been to a lot of big weddings (400-500), with no alcohol and dessert only receptions. Luckily people typically time them appropriately. I was most annoyed at SIL's, though, where there were something like 400 people, seating for probably 50, and the space itself was just not large enough. It was impossible to get from one side of the room to the other. It was a mess.

[ssmjlm]

There was the wedding where the MOH was so trashed she dropped her full drink down the front of her when she was giving her speech and then just slunk to the floor.

There was the one where they ran out of food during cocktail hour, but the whole wedding party was running late from pictures and the directions being wrong.

There was the one with the mechanical bull at the reception.

There was one where the bride didn't want any pictures before the ceremony or at the church, only at the reception site. Pictures ran so long b/c she didn't budget that they ran out of food during cocktail hour. So the guests are yelling from the balcony at the reception to the wedding party "Hey there's no more food and they won't start dinner until yall get in here, so how much longer?" Then they had a buffet, but only one side, so for about 90 minutes there was a line snaking through the ballroom as they called tables up to the line. It was so poorly planned all around.

[Deleted]

I've seen so many times interesting things.

We went to one wedding that the ceremony started at 7 and they did pictures after the wedding. And didn't let anyone eat until the B&G got there at 9 or 9:30. And it was a dry wedding. It was a bummer because it was a friend who had a whole bunch of really fun friends attending, but everyone was just really hungry and left before they even started dancing.

My friend had a great wedding, but her sister's MOH speech was rough--she called my friend the "black sheep" of the family.

Another friend's wedding, her family was the worst. They showed up in jeans and were really into getting lots of anything that was free. It was weird and a little hard to explain.

Another friend had really good food...that ran out before I could go through the buffet line. I did get some rice and salad or something so I wasn't super hungry at least.

I feel a littl bad about food at my wedding--It started at 7:30 and I said on the invites drinks and desserts, so hopefully no one was surprised, but we just had cake, some other assorted mini desserts and some big trays of fruit/cheese/bread. And then unlimited beer/wine/soda. If I had it to do over again, I would have spent another $1k on food and gotten more. My mom made a ton of food for BMs for lunch and afternoon before at least. And most guests stayed dancing until 11, so I think people had fun overall.

[ddi741]

Apr 21, 2015 8:12:42 GMT -5 ECB said:

Apr 21, 2015 8:08:09 GMT -5 ddi741 said:

Anyway, in the reception room, there was a HUGE sign, made up to look like an interstate sign, except it said "Intercourse 95".

:?

ETA: At least it didn't say "intercourse 69"??

I was embarrassed for them. Their grandparents were there. 

Although, I will admit, we all got our picture taken in front of it. I'll have to see if I can find the picture anywhere.

[ssmjlm]

I also forgot about the one where the cocktail hour was open bar, but not the reception. And it was in a small hotel so there were actually 2 weddings next to each other going on. So we spent all of cocktail hour in line for our free drinks. Then when we got food, people accidentally went to the wrong buffet line and the hotel staff freaked b/c apparently our wedding didn't have beef, but the other did, so people were stealing the beef from the other wedding's buffet line.

[scout8]

Apr 21, 2015 8:15:45 GMT -5 @kcpokergal said:

I feel a littl bad about food at my wedding--It started at 7:30 and I said on the invites drinks and desserts, so hopefully no one was surprised, but we just had cake, some other assorted mini desserts and some big trays of fruit/cheese/bread. And then unlimited beer/wine/soda. If I had it to do over again, I would have spent another $1k on food and gotten more. My mom made a ton of food for BMs for lunch and afternoon before at least. And most guests stayed dancing until 11, so I think people had fun overall.

You shouldn't feel bad about this at all. You timed things correctly so people could have dinner first and you explained what people would be getting on the invites. Perfectly appropriate. 

[tacoflavoredkisses]

I went to a wedding Memorial Day weekend that was actually a vow renewal because what most people didn't know is they had already been married for awhile.

We got to the reception and they had big metal tubs of ice and bottles of root beer on the table. It was hot so pretty much everyone dove right in and got a bottle to drink. They took an hour to get there and just as they are about to come in the DJ announces not to drink the soda because it was meant for their toast in lieu of champagne.

That one bottle of root beer is all I got to drink because the cash bar charged even for water.

[v]

I would say that the rudest thing we've experienced first hand is the couple who had a wedding at an all-inclusive in the Dominican Republic, and put a note on the invitation that if you did not stay at that resort, you would be charged to attend the wedding. I had no interest in staying at that resort, so that was the end of "Should we go or not?" for me.

In the "(I hope) only in New York" category, we had friends who got married at a venue where the martini bar made a grand entrance during cocktail hour. It descended from the ceiling with the bartender riding in it, shaking drinks. Smoke and light effects too. This photo does not do it justice because it is almost all the way down at this point:



And the ballroom had a thing where the couple makes a grand entrance on a spinning platform that has their sweetheart table on it. One minute, there's just a wall there, then there are smoke and light effects, and then the wall spins 180 degrees revealing the couple sitting at their table. (This venue was on Four Weddings once, if this sounds familiar to any of you).

I've also been to a wedding where the couple made a grand entrance through the middle of the dance floor (there's an elevator that brings them up). If that makes no sense, here's a video of the venue (start at 2:55): www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTKO44XdwX4

[ssmjlm]

Apr 21, 2015 8:25:23 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

Apr 21, 2015 8:18:01 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

I also forgot about the one where the cocktail hour was open bar, but not the reception. And it was in a small hotel so there were actually 2 weddings next to each other going on. So we spent all of cocktail hour in line for our free drinks. Then when we got food, people accidentally went to the wrong buffet line and the hotel staff freaked b/c apparently our wedding didn't have beef, but the other did, so people were stealing the beef from the other wedding's buffet line.

What kind of messed up set up is there that you could confuse the buffet lines for two separate receptions?

The ballrooms are so small that once you put the tables and dance floor in, they had the buffets out in the lobby and were basically backed against each other.  So people should have known, but from trying to drink like a fish during free cocktail hour, most of us were pretty lit by that point.

[magdala]

I have had way too many wedding adventures.

In another thread, I already posted the Facebook announcement for a wedding that day. Read more: pandce.proboards.com/search/results?what_all=facebook+cousin&when_between_start=2015-03-01&when_between_end=2015-04-21&who_only_made_by=0&display_as=0#ixzz3XwryWDZf

I attended the wedding with the tacky minister. This minister from the couple's church announced from the pulpit that the bride had saved herself for her wedding night and the groom had not. I thought my eyes would fall out of my head. He knew this couple was truly devout and that their elderly grandparents were in the first row. It was so inappropriate.

I attended a friend's wedding where the groom's brothers had to physically pick up and remove the bride's father and stepfather who were fighting at the reception. Fortunately the groom and his brothers are large strong people and had thought ahead that this step might be necessary. The police had been called. The father, stepfather, the bride's witchy stepmother and self absorbed mother spent the rest of the evening at the police station. Our friends rallied around the bride and groom and ensured that they had a great evening and fantastic send off at the airport. They took a red eye to their honeymoon and we partied them all the way to the plane. They didn't find out that all of her parents and step parents ended up in jail for 48 hours until after their honeymoon, three weeks later.

I was a bridesmaid for a wedding where the florist pulled a no-show. Instead of doing getting ready pictures, we scattered to a half dozen grocery stores and picked up red and white roses to create our bouquets on the fly. Red roses for the bride and white roses for everyone else. We also picked up several hundred tea lights and spools of wired white ribbon. It was a December wedding so it wasn't hard to find red and white. We had to visit several grocery stores to get enough roses though. We called the reception venue and had them add bud vases to each table. We scattered tea lights and broke apart the bridesmaids bouquets to create centerpieces on the fly. We later found out that the florist had been in a bad car accident en route to the church.

I attended a wedding where the buffet line would open after the toasts. Each of the parents, grandparents and member of the wedding party toasted the couple. Each toast requested that God bless the couple with children. My cousins at the next table made a drinking game about this. As they got progressively drunker, I was wonder which drunken wonder would be recommending procreation at the reception.

These are the more dramatic stories...they have also been a bunch of run of the mill limo breakdowns, bad food, and drunken shenanigans.

[gt7301b]

I went to a church wedding where there wasn't alcohol or dancing and they ran out of food at the reception. It was quite the snooze fest.

[ssmjlm]

I went to a wedding at The Homestead in Virginia and the food was so bad (and some undercooked) that we were thankful they brought out donuts at 10pm as a "midnight snack" b/c we were all starving. Also the bride made it out like the resort was really nice, but in reality the whole place needs a major overhaul and it really showed in the 2 rooms they used for the reception.

Also, if you have a destination wedding, you really should feed your wedding party and guests. I was pretty apalled at the lack of planning over the whole weekend.

[Susie]

Ooh these are always fun.

I had to wear these shoes as a bridesmaid, which I think is pretty criminal:



One of Calvin's friends got married on a dairy farm.  It rained.  They had a tent for the bridal party, but not the rest of us, so we sat in chairs under our own umbrellas and shivered.

The usual cash bar shenanigans.  I hate when they do champagne toasts for the bridal party, but everyone else has to buy their own.

In more bridal party shenanigans, I will be 8 months pregnant in a wedding this fall.  There is a maternity BM dress available in the same designer/material/length, but the bride wants me to match the other 6 girls.  So no maternity dress for me; she wants me to order the regular dress in however many sizes up I'll need, instead of a dress that might actually fit(ish) my proportions at the time.  I'm really skeptical that this is going to go well.