I heard from Tampa

[Deleted]

Well if he sucks as a human being I wouldn't go out with him again.

[1confused1]

You can do better than him. Move on.

[calle28]

What was the issue he had with you?

[mommadukes]

glad he's alive, but he didnt handle this situation the best way!! if it's happening now, it will happen again!

[calle28]

Apr 21, 2015 9:47:21 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Apr 21, 2015 9:40:45 GMT -5 calle28 said:

What was the issue he had with you?

If I lived in Colorado or Washington State I could tell you. 

I have no idea what this means. haha. Weed reference? I'm slow.

Anyway, I'm glad he's alive and that you feel better. Follow your gut.

[Deleted]

The thing is I don't think he saw his error at at all. You had to contact him twice and point it out. I think he responded to your email because he didn't want to look like the bad guy, especially to your friends who could be clients. And he's totally turning this around on you! He's using an issue with YOU as his reason for treating you like shit. I bet this convo ends up being all about workin out this issue with you and he totally deflects all the bullshit he did. You can do better.

[Deleted]

Apr 21, 2015 9:47:21 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Apr 21, 2015 9:40:45 GMT -5 calle28 said:

What was the issue he had with you?

If I lived in Colorado or Washington State I could tell you. 

Wait this is the issue??? It's not even like you unknowingly did something wildly offensive and hurtful?

[cuddlyevil]

I wouldn't meet with him again. If this is how he handles issues within his relationships, you don't need him.

He had an issue with you but chose to ignore you rather than discuss it? LAME.

[glitzyglow]

You had to prod him to get an answer, he didn't actively seek you out to discuss the issue with you...he ghosted you. Personally, I wouldn't meet up with him. There are grown-up men who don't disappear when they have an issue with the people they are seeing.

[bl]

I agree with @pdx18 on this one, I don't think he really saw the error of his ways until you repeatedly pointed it out. If he had messaged you on Sunday after you just sent a couple hey whats up messages and he had said I am sorry for the change in behavior it was shitty and here is what happened, I like you a lot can we work through this I think it would be different. Instead it took you basically telling him he was a pile of crap to see that he was being one.

I am torn on the issue. I personally don't think its a big deal and it wouldn't matter to me, but this is a hot button for some people. I can see why if it was for him that he might need a little time to think through things, but he still handled it shitty. Also, is that something you can work through, will he ever really accept it, or will you stop?

[jigsy]

Apr 21, 2015 9:47:21 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Apr 21, 2015 9:40:45 GMT -5 calle28 said:

What was the issue he had with you?

If I lived in Colorado or Washington State I could tell you. 

:/  If he has an issue with this, I wouldn't think it would work out. Does he drink? Because if so, double :/

[Saint Monica]

Dude, don't meet up with him.

[kanga1]

He handled this really shitty. This shows how he will handle issues in the future. Do you want someone who will just ignore you instead of talking about stuff? I would just drop him, you can do so much better. You give awesome advice to everyone on this board, what would you tell one of us if we were in your shoes? It was incredibly rude and immature the way he reacted to his "issue" with you.

[Mrs.Rad888]

I'd be really tempted to stand him up.

I wouldn't give him another minute of your life.

[Deleted]

Apr 21, 2015 10:07:50 GMT -5 Mrs.Rad888 said:

I'd be really tempted to stand him up.

I wouldn't give him another minute of your life.

haha yea you should totally ghost him

[prettyinpearls]

Don't waste your time on him. Seriously.

[moolarkey]

Apr 21, 2015 10:01:52 GMT -5 TR said:

Apr 21, 2015 9:22:48 GMT -5 @stpete said:

After the call he texted another apology and said he feels "horrible because the way he acted was not the man he tries to be... and not the man he is.

No, it IS the man he is because he did it. And maybe he can change. But he shouldn't fool himself.

This is it exactly.  This IS the man he is.  Call it a day and move on.  Not good enough for you. 

[Eureka1984]

I'm so sorry St.Pete. I agree a lot with the previous posters, he handled the situation really horribly and that would be a red flag for me in the future. Would you really want someone who runs from the situation rather than deal? I also can see where he is coming upset with the weed situation- I once dated a senator's kid and he was so pc, he was very concerned with his image. but IMO I think that is pretty minute. I think you are a great person and deserve someone better!

[calle28]

I also wonder why after 11 dates it suddenly became an issue? If he doesn't want to date someone who does that, fine, that's his choice. But he should have told you very early on and not just disappear like that.

[mcc]

So he had an issue with something you mentioned you did, or did in front of him, and instead of telling you that wasn't something he was comfortable with, he just disappeared? That's childish. It's also something that he is unlikely to get over if he reacted like that. You deserve someone who will tell you if they have an issue with something. Don't waste your time.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

There's more than one dude in Florida. Move along.

[jojoandleo]

Tell him to call you when his balls drop, because he is obviously pre-pubescent to act so immaturely.

Look, I can get not being okay with it. I CANNOT get just ghosting (AND STANDING YOU UP. You all had a date and he did not show. This is more than ghosting) rather than being a goddamn adult and just saying, "Hey, I'm not cool with X and I don't think we can continue dating, but good luck in your future endeavors." He obviously cannot handle confrontation, which does not bode well for the future. AND, is he just over his issue now? Because he feels bad for being an immature pissant? How long will THAT last?

Meet up with him if you want. It may be good to get your closure. He is not someone I would have any interest in continuing to date. Sure he apologized, but only after you called him out. Multiple times.

[Deleted]

You are awesome, and worthy of so much more than this guy

[Deleted]

Yeah, this is not someone you need to date. I am annoyed for you that you had to contact him multiple times to even get a response. He should have at the very least said "I can't talk right now, but I'll be in touch when I have time" if he needed time to think or whatever. Just ignoring you is childish.

Honestly, even if you do meet up with him - then what? You start dating again, and it's going to be really hard to trust him after this. You're always going to wonder if he's going to ghost you again, and when you send a text and don't hear back for a few hours you're going to think "this is it! He's doing it again!". I just feel like it's not worth the trouble.

[jojoandleo]

Apr 21, 2015 10:56:28 GMT -5 @stpete said:

You guys are right. I need to cut if off now. I won't meet with him.

This is the problem with dating. I had fun with the guy, and great sex. His behavior was so shitty it ruins the parts that were good. I liked those other parts, I hate ceasing the fun and sex. But I'll find someone else who can share those things would being a dick in addition.

Yeah. It sucks getting excited about a guy just to have him pull some shit like this. I'm sorry.  On the plus side, you get to walk away the bigger person and he has to walk away knowing he was a scared little boy. Well, plus side if you are a vindictive bitch like I am. I love getting to be the bigger person.

[Deleted]

@stepete big hugs. Dating can totally be the suck.

[Wanderista]

I'm glad that you heard from him but sorry that he's turned out to be such a jerk.

[achase123]

Communication is probably the #1 thing in a relationship and he sucks at it, big time. Next!

[pandora]

You're making the right decision in not meeting with him. He was beyond childish, he was utterly disrespectful to you in standing you up and leaving you with no explanation. Sure you have one now, great and it's now time to move on holding your head up high, knowing that you were the adult.

[winecat]

I'm sorry he was an immature twit. Hopefully the next one is fun, has great sex, and isn't an asshat. In the meantime, I know it sucks.