Me. I want to buy a cheap antique right hand ring, but can't decide. And then once I find something I love, I end up losing it in the time I spend agonizing on spending $ on something so frivolous. Blerg.
Post by Wanderista on Apr 22, 2015 10:39:46 GMT -5
There's a friend who is annoying me. I understand that people are different and we all make different life choices but I can't help being a bit judgmental of her on some level. I think we are just very different people.
She's the one who rushed into getting married to a guy that she met on Match in December 2013. By March 2014, they were engaged and then in July 2014, she had a big princess-style wedding. She immediately began obsessing over having a baby. She is now due to have a baby in August (very happy for her about that). They live in a tiny apartment that she doesn't like and they can't move into something bigger because her lease is coming up in the month of her due date. (I get it that you can't always plan these things but my point is that she seems to make a lot of really quick decisions without thinking a lot).
Now, she is telling me that they are probably going to move out of state to some random, remote place so that he can work for his family's business. All of this would be great but she's really going to be isolating herself. I also think that she is codependent. To top it off, I'm pretty sure that she buys into a socially conservative/fundie-religious view of life - you know, the whole "wives should be submissive and obey their husbands" stuff. She barely socializes and basically gets his permission to do anything.
I'm finding it hard to relate to her now. She does seem happy and I hope that is the case. I can't help thinking that it is all kind of weird. I guess that I get judgmental when I don't think a situation is healthy. Anyway, I can't help it, I am judging that.
My friend and her Youn*ique shit on Facebook. I have seen her post stuff about it for a while, but never to this annoying extent. Selfies. Selfies every day of her with various makeup products on. Close-ups of her lips and eyes, too. Stop. Stop it now.
UGH, I just dropped $500 for travel arrangements to go to the child support hearing so the lying liar can tell the judge he told me he had a job and I forgot. This is ridiculous. I better win after spending all this damn money.
My friend and her Youn*ique shit on Facebook. I have seen her post stuff about it for a while, but never to this annoying extent. Selfies. Selfies every day of her with various makeup products on. Close-ups of her lips and eyes, too. Stop. Stop it now.
OMG here too. "Here is a shot of my eyes after crying about this sad news story...and my makeup still looks awesome!"
I really want to try their products, but don't want their "presenters" to harrass me for the rest of my life!
Stuff. All manner of stuff. The car dealer who keeps bugging me. Apartment hunting on my budget. Boy who is really hard to shake. Ex who has decided he wants to wiggle his way back in my life. Job that seems like there is potential to be great, but also has potential to be a total dead end.
Gah. I am so glad that Aunt Flo is on her way out, because I think the extra hormones are exacerbating my annoyances.
Post by jojoandleo on Apr 22, 2015 12:35:51 GMT -5
MH's female friend. She calls herself a freaking unicorn. Like she is god's gift to men because she is totally "Bro" and not like "other girls." Like...STOP! YOU ARE NOT BRO! You wear makeup EVER SINGLE DAY. EVERY DAY! Maybe you don't wear dresses and heels all the time and maybe you like guns and camping, but that doesn't make you every guy's dream. In fact, there are plenty of women EXACTLY LIKE YOU. And exactly like me. Different guys like different things, so knock it the fuck off.
You know who is SUPPOSED to call you a unicorn? Guys. You aren't supposed to call yourself that.
That I just made an exchange at the store. And the women who did it knows my ex. And all I wanted to scream was hey you know that dude you praised and posted pictures of when he came to your daughter's wedding last summer. He hit me.
Therapy has transitioned from divorce talk to overcoming abuse. I'm working on it. I really am but I get so angry sometimes at myself because I didn't call 911 and report. I know I can't do that because it wasn't my fault and I need to stop blaming.
jojoandleo maybe she wants to have a threesome? That's how I've heard the term "unicorn" used. Lol
LOL. She posts it on facebook. So unless she is trolling for threesomes, I doubt it. AND she always says she's a unicorn because she is "one of the bros." Maybe she is. I don't know. But I don't think that makes her a unicorn.
I'm really annoyed with the silence and change with how little my husband (haven't settled papers yet) acknowledges me. It's hard to take and gets under my skin
Seriously this is the worst! I have an odd name, but when it's in my signature or you have known me for a while I expect you to be able to spell it right.
Seriously this is the worst! Â I have an odd name, but when it's in my signature or you have known me for a while I expect you to be able to spell it right.
So annoying!
My boss is fine, but I just saw an email from the personnel manager updating him about the status of a promotion I'm applying for, and she used my married name in the subject. I changed my name back over two years ago, and the records she was discussing are all in my maiden name. Apparently she's living in the past. Or she was distracted by XH's upcoming baby and international transfer so she had the married name on her mind. But still. I would expect HR to be sensitive to that kind of thing.
I am annoying me. I'm being a total head case and potentially fucking things up with A because of my insecurities.
I am sorry and I am right here with you. I have been in my head all week and while I want to still be cautious because it is still new, I also need to get out of my own head and just let things happen. Hope you can get some clarity and feel better soon!
I am annoying me. I'm being a total head case and potentially fucking things up with A because of my insecurities.
Talk it out here. To be honest, I think sometimes we just THINK we are being insecure from being gaslighted all our lives. Other times, we really are. Talking it out here always helps me decide what's really going on and how to get through it.
Talk it out here. To be honest, I think sometimes we just THINK we are being insecure from being gaslighted all our lives. Other times, we really are. Talking it out here always helps me decide what's really going on and how to get through it.
It's just A's schedule and him being gone Sunday afternoon - late Thursday night. By Wednesday night (every time, it's like my breaking point), I've convinced myself that he doesn't really like me that much, doesn't miss me, etc. And I end up texting him something stupid or passive aggressive or whiny. And it bothers him because it makes him feel like he can't meet my needs. So we're having a talk tomorrow about whether it's that he can't meet my needs or that he's not understanding what I'm asking of him or if I'm not asking for what I need in the right way. Personally, I think it's the latter. I haven't expressly told him "I need you to tell me that you miss me/are thinking about me/can't wait to see me and don't just assume that I know".
I know he's crazy about me, he's told me that, he bought an extra season ticket to the local soccer club so I could go to all of the games with him, he's taking my mom and I out to a really nice dinner Saturday night while she's in town to meet her. I just let myself overthink and overthink until it's too late. I need to stop the cycle earlier somehow.
But anyway. I'm going to be pukey thinking about it until we can talk in person tomorrow night. And work is super stressful this week so that isn't helping anything.
That is a long time to be away without ANY contact. I don't think you are insecure about that. However, I think your approach to it was wrong. Passive aggressive doesn't really get you anywhere. I say, have a glass of wine, and maybe write down everything you are feeling/need. Your feelings are valid. It's your approach that is off.
I'm adding "my current job" to the things that annoy me. I'm just not sure how much longer I can stay where I'm at. I forwarded my boss a voicemail I received today where the parent's tone was upset/rude and his reply "Ithere is nothing on the face of this message where the parent is upset/rude." No shit, when I initially spoke to you about it I saud her tone was the problem AND how she addressed the front desk. Plus, he sat in on a personnel meeting I had with the head of school yesterday and today and he has NEVER done something like that before.
So job search and current job are annoying...and I feel like I'm nearing the breaking point.
Post by starburst604 on Apr 23, 2015 17:58:39 GMT -5
So annoyed by a work email right now. Boss emails me something to add to an agenda for a few weeks away, along with something else that could turn into a big project. I remind her that I may not be around to make an agenda in a few weeks, and say that I'll put the other item on the top of my list of things for after maternity leave. She replies something like "oh well can you send out what you have for agenda items in a couple of weeks so we'll have them, and reach out to this person for this project now? SHE is the only one who ever sends me agenda items, so why can't she just keep track of her own agenda items so I don't have to remember to regurgitate them to her before my ML? And now I have to get started on this other thing, on top of the billionty other things I'm trying to accomplish before ML, when likely it will just get stalled because one day the person will message me, get my out of office message, and there is no one else to handle this particular thing. RAGE.
Honestly, I was worried about going on leave because they might figure out how to be without me or something, but now I think they are going to have a whole new appreciation for how much shit defaults to me when I'm not there to do it!!
So annoyed by a work email right now. Boss emails me something to add to an agenda for a few weeks away, along with something else that could turn into a big project. I remind her that I may not be around to make an agenda in a few weeks, and say that I'll put the other item on the top of my list of things for after maternity leave. She replies something like "oh well can you send out what you have for agenda items in a couple of weeks so we'll have them, and reach out to this person for this project now? SHE is the only one who ever sends me agenda items, so why can't she just keep track of her own agenda items so I don't have to remember to regurgitate them to her before my ML? And now I have to get started on this other thing, on top of the billionty other things I'm trying to accomplish before ML, when likely it will just get stalled because one day the person will message me, get my out of office message, and there is no one else to handle this particular thing. RAGE.
Honestly, I was worried about going on leave because they might figure out how to be without me or something, but now I think they are going to have a whole new appreciation for how much shit defaults to me when I'm not there to do it!!
Can't help when baby decides to arrive and you're full Mommy time - (In other words: screw the agenda if she decides to arrive!) They'll be begging for you to be back. Love the newest pic.
So annoyed by a work email right now. Boss emails me something to add to an agenda for a few weeks away, along with something else that could turn into a big project. I remind her that I may not be around to make an agenda in a few weeks, and say that I'll put the other item on the top of my list of things for after maternity leave. She replies something like "oh well can you send out what you have for agenda items in a couple of weeks so we'll have them, and reach out to this person for this project now? SHE is the only one who ever sends me agenda items, so why can't she just keep track of her own agenda items so I don't have to remember to regurgitate them to her before my ML? And now I have to get started on this other thing, on top of the billionty other things I'm trying to accomplish before ML, when likely it will just get stalled because one day the person will message me, get my out of office message, and there is no one else to handle this particular thing. RAGE.
Honestly, I was worried about going on leave because they might figure out how to be without me or something, but now I think they are going to have a whole new appreciation for how much shit defaults to me when I'm not there to do it!!
Can't help when baby decides to arrive and you're full Mommy time - (In other words: screw the agenda if she decides to arrive!) They'll be begging for you to be back. Love the newest pic.
Yup. I found myself spitefully hoping I go unexpectedly early and they have to remember their own damn agenda!!
That I just made an exchange at the store. And the women who did it knows my ex. And all I wanted to scream was hey you know that dude you praised and posted pictures of when he came to your daughter's wedding last summer. He hit me.
Therapy has transitioned from divorce talk to overcoming abuse. I'm working on it. I really am but I get so angry sometimes at myself because I didn't call 911 and report. I know I can't do that because it wasn't my fault and I need to stop blaming.
It's not your fault and it wasn't your responsibility to know what to do in that moment. No one would when it's someone one should trust - shock factor, deer in headlights. Work on the anger, know that it WAS NEVER about you for why he hit you and eventually, you will feel indifferent and know that it's his issues. Not yours. He never had a right to raise a hand to you. Period. He may never learn but you can heal, learn and move forward. Try to picture yourself as another person at that moment and how you would protect her. Console and love her. I'm sorry and hugs. Anger is a healthy stage but a rough one to get through - you will!!
DH and I have had sex 1 time in the last 6 months. Last time we went this long, when I finally brought it up to him, he said it was because he wasn't feeling good about himself because of weight gain. I can empathize with that, because I'm in the same boat as far as being down on myself due to weight gain. He also has huge self-esteem issues, which I try to keep in mind, but when he only works out once every 2 weeks, and doesn't cut out the beer or snacking, what am I supposed to do with that? Am I really expected to just be happy going without while he does nothing to improve the situation? Last time he got his panties in a twist over a perceived disrespect, he acknowledged that he has some stuff to work on. That was over a month ago, and he's worked on exactly zilch. I finally got our health insurance straightened out (F U, United Healthcare), so we can start seeing our therapist again, but whenever I bring it up, he doesn't seem to care one way or the other. It's definitely time for another CTJ talk, and for me to get busy on the job search. Sometimes I think we're doing good, then I wonder if he's just going through the motions, sometimes he seems really detached, sometimes he seems like he's all in. I just don't know where his head is, and I don't think he does either, but I'm tired of wondering what's up in this relationship, and I've found myself detaching from him.
ETA: Another thing that bothers me about our lack of a sex life is the thought that he thinks I'm so shallow that I wouldn't be attracted to him because of some weight gain. That his looks are the only reason I'm with him. Thanks for thinking so highly of me, DH!