Who will be in the delivery room with you?

[noodleoo]

Have you guys decided yet?  My sister has offered to come out as soon as I go into labor and go to the hospital.  She has been amazingly supporting through my pregnancy and has 2 kids of her own, so I am really touched she's willing to make arrangements to come out.  She and my H get along, but I'm afraid my H will be hurt if I want her there.  Or that things might be weird with both of them.   I need to talk to him about it.  I mentioned it before but it was so long ago, we didn't really make a decision.

Are you having anyone other than your H/SO with you?  Are they okay with it? 

[hainesherway]

Just DH for c-section with epidural/spinal. If I have to have a c-section under general anesthesia, I'll be in the room alone

[pooh8402]

DH and my mom. My sister is first back-up if one of them can't do it.

DH initially wasn't okay with me having my mom there, until I reminded him that *I* am pushing out this baby, it's MY body I'm going to lose control of, and that my mother has done this before, he hasn't.

[Koala]

Just my H and doctors and nurses for myself and the babies.

[preppy]

I am planning on only having DH there. I think as the person pushing out a small human you have a good case if you want your sister there:)

[kiddoc]

We don't have any family who live locally, so it will just be H and I in the delivery room.

[Susie]

Interesting day that you should ask.

The plan had been just Calvin and necessary medical professionals.  There isn't another person (e.g. a mom or sister) that I specifically want there, and it's a pretty vulnerable experience so I'd like to keep the audience to a minimum.

However, I'm concerned that Calvin isn't going to be able to really be there for me.  He is deathly, deathly afraid of needles.  Like, it would be amusing if it wasn't so incredibly real for him.  For example, last week at my app't they were describing an optional test for Trisomy 18/Down's etc. that involves a measurement on a 12-13 wk u/s and two blood draws.  They kept repeating "non-invasive" as a descriptor.  I was pretty meh about it, but afterwards Calvin LOST IT in the car about how they were referring to two blood draws as "non-invasive" and did they think I was just a hunk of meat?  Buddy, slow your roll.  Pre-pregnancy, I used to donate whole pints of blood on the regular.  Two vials?  Pfft.  Then this morning we both had blood draws for the mini-physical that we had to do for life insurance.  The nurse came to our house before work to do it.  I was all la-di-da, but he got sent home from work all pale and sickly and nauseous by mid-morning.  I GUARANTEE it was stress-sick, over the stupid needle stick for two dinky vials of blood.  Not my first time at this rodeo with him.

So I'm pretty afraid he'll crap out on me amid IVs, a possible epidural, and all the assorted nastiness of giving birth.  I'm not sure what to do about it, but the prospect of having to go it alone is pretty scary.

[miamigirl]

Just my DH (and doctors and nurses, of course). MIL has hinted she'd like to be there, but there's no way in hell she's coming in, lol, I don't even want my own mom in the delivery room.

[G22]

Just H. We won't have any family nearby.

If we were going to be in the states, I'd let my SIL in. She's a doula already and midwife-in-training.

[runblondie26]

DH. Planned c/s, so no else allowed.

My parents and inlaws will most likely be in the waiting room though. That's how it went with the last two.

[Blackout81]

My mom, sister, and MH were there for my 1st. I was trying for an unmedicated birth (after 6 days of home labor - yes, it's possible, they don't tell you until day 4). Ended up in the OR 13 hrs after "active" labor started with just MH.

This time around I'm seeing midwives and am planning on getting a doula since I'm hoping to VBAC. My mom and MH will be there, possibly my sister again if they'll let that many in - she was really amazing.

[meltoine]

For my hospital birth I only wanted DH, but he wanted my mom, lol

Last time at home it was just MH and mom again. This time I'd like my other kids to be there if it's not MOTN and they're not asleep. I would also consider having MIL there because I know it would mean a lot to her, but my mom and MIL can't be around each other for more than a day and since they're both coming from across the country, ya know.....

[noodleoo]

Apr 21, 2015 17:12:29 GMT -5 Susie said:

Interesting day that you should ask.

The plan had been just Calvin and necessary medical professionals.  There isn't another person (e.g. a mom or sister) that I specifically want there, and it's a pretty vulnerable experience so I'd like to keep the audience to a minimum.

However, I'm concerned that Calvin isn't going to be able to really be there for me.  He is deathly, deathly afraid of needles.  Like, it would be amusing if it wasn't so incredibly real for him.  For example, last week at my app't they were describing an optional test for Trisomy 18/Down's etc. that involves a measurement on a 12-13 wk u/s and two blood draws.  They kept repeating "non-invasive" as a descriptor.  I was pretty meh about it, but afterwards Calvin LOST IT in the car about how they were referring to two blood draws as "non-invasive" and did they think I was just a hunk of meat?  Buddy, slow your roll.  Pre-pregnancy, I used to donate whole pints of blood on the regular.  Two vials?  Pfft.  Then this morning we both had blood draws for the mini-physical that we had to do for life insurance.  The nurse came to our house before work to do it.  I was all la-di-da, but he got sent home from work all pale and sickly and nauseous by mid-morning.  I GUARANTEE it was stress-sick, over the stupid needle stick for two dinky vials of blood.  Not my first time at this rodeo with him.

So I'm pretty afraid he'll crap out on me amid IVs, a possible epidural, and all the assorted nastiness of giving birth.  I'm not sure what to do about it, but the prospect of having to go it alone is pretty scary.

Wow, this sounds really tough.  You might want to consider hiring a doula. My prenatal yoga instructor is one and she's so sweet and awesome. I briefly considered it, but decided against it due to the cost.  But my H has worked in the medical field so I think he'll be okay. 

I I really can't decide if I want my sister to come or not.  On the one hand, I might feel like it's TMI to have her there.  On the other, she's been SO supportive and helped a lot, sometimes when my H has kind of dropped the ball.  So having her just in case H needs a break or just for her experience might be nice.  Ugh, I'm so indecisive!

[Deleted]

For actual pushing, just my husband. I don't mind my dad or sisters stopping by and visiting prior to that though.

[noodleoo]

Apr 21, 2015 17:21:06 GMT -5 miamigirl said:

Just my DH (and doctors and nurses, of course). MIL has hinted she'd like to be there, but there's no way in hell she's coming in, lol, I don't even want my own mom in the delivery room.

No way in hell I'd have my in laws during labor/delivery.  We just aren't that close. They are welcome the day after baby arrives.  

[achi]

H, the midwife (and secondary midwife that comes just before pushing starts), and my doula. That's it.

No family allowed until after he's born and we've had a couple of hours to ourselves.

[starburst]

Just my H. I don't even want people waiting in the waiting room. Too much pressure!

[cgpm]

My DH for sure.

I would make my mother's life complete if I let her into delivery. I don't actually think DH would mind and provided she keeps herself together, I'd be ok with it too. We'll see how I feel about that as I get closer.

[fashionx]

Just DH. I love my mom but we're not that close and I'm not sure she would be helpful (ie: coaching and encouraging to me), vs just another body in the room. I'm sure my mom and MIL will visit as soon as they can, although I don't really want people in the waiting room waiting for me to deliver. I'd rather either have DH call people when we're close (they're all a few hours away), or wait until baby is born before calling anyone to come visit. We haven't made a decision how to handle that part, but definitely no one else in the room with us.

[brandienee]

Just my husband. I don't have family close.

[dearprudence]

Just DH.  (Well, and the doctors and nurses)  He was a fantastic advocate first time around and frankly I don't want any more people than need to be there during the delivery.

Susie - I don't know if this will be any comfort to you, but everyone was really concerned about my brother when his wife gave birth.  He actually has seizures any time he gets a shot and gets really woozy when he sees anyone else get them (he passed out once watching me give blood).  He was phenomenal during the actual birth of his daughter.  For some reason, it was a different situation.

[bride2bnva]

It was just my H in the room. I didn't want anyone else on there.

[starburst604]

Just my H will be there. I think he'll be a great cheerleader for me. He's a bit squeamish so his plan is to not be looking down below or anything.
I really want to soak in those first moments after we meet her as just the three of us.

[speyedr]

My stepmom was in the room with H last time and this time it will probably just be H because my stepmom will be watching DD1.

[marina007]

Just my H, same as with DD1. I have no desire for additional company - there were times during my first labor when I would have happily gotten rid of him, too, tbh.

[ebeth]

Husband
Doula
Medical professionals
No one else

[aprilsails]

It's only going to be DH.

My Mom has flat out said she doesn't want to be involved and would be useless since she would probably just start yelling 'cut it out!' She was very fond of her c-sections.

My MIL would also be useless since she had spontaneous labour with both of her boys and gave birth within 1.5 hours, and 40 minutes respectively. She's super honest that she doesn't know how to push, just actually moreso trying to hold it in.

I don't want to turn my 6 years younger sister off of having future kids, so no to her too.

The most useful person would probably be my Dad or my Stepmom, but that just seems kind of weird since my Mom won't be in there.

[ebeth]

Apr 21, 2015 17:12:29 GMT -5 Susie said:

Interesting day that you should ask.

The plan had been just Calvin and necessary medical professionals.  There isn't another person (e.g. a mom or sister) that I specifically want there, and it's a pretty vulnerable experience so I'd like to keep the audience to a minimum.

However, I'm concerned that Calvin isn't going to be able to really be there for me.  He is deathly, deathly afraid of needles.  Like, it would be amusing if it wasn't so incredibly real for him.  For example, last week at my app't they were describing an optional test for Trisomy 18/Down's etc. that involves a measurement on a 12-13 wk u/s and two blood draws.  They kept repeating "non-invasive" as a descriptor.  I was pretty meh about it, but afterwards Calvin LOST IT in the car about how they were referring to two blood draws as "non-invasive" and did they think I was just a hunk of meat?  Buddy, slow your roll.  Pre-pregnancy, I used to donate whole pints of blood on the regular.  Two vials?  Pfft.  Then this morning we both had blood draws for the mini-physical that we had to do for life insurance.  The nurse came to our house before work to do it.  I was all la-di-da, but he got sent home from work all pale and sickly and nauseous by mid-morning.  I GUARANTEE it was stress-sick, over the stupid needle stick for two dinky vials of blood.  Not my first time at this rodeo with him.

So I'm pretty afraid he'll crap out on me amid IVs, a possible epidural, and all the assorted nastiness of giving birth.  I'm not sure what to do about it, but the prospect of having to go it alone is pretty scary.

I share a similar fear though MH is not quite as bad with his needle phobia. He's done OK so far, he couldn't watch when they PRICKED MY FINGER for the first trimester screen.

I'm aiming for a med free/low intervention birth and the hospital I'm delivering at doesn't do routine IV fluids so hopefully that will minimize the needles. Obviously these things don't always go according to plan. We're hiring a doula primarily to support the med free birth but it has ded crossed my mind that she'll also be good back up if/when MH is getting woozy. Many doulas provide labor support for all types of births.

Might be worth looking into if you're worried about your H. My sister reported hers was excellent at helping both her and her H through labor.

[kaycee]

My husband only. Last time it was so nice. My husband hates needles, shots, and blood. I was worried because he passes out. He was amazing. The nurse was a little pushy about him watching (even though we had decided before he would stay above my shoulders) and he ended up watching the entire thing. He loved it and is planning on watching this time. I think that when it is your kid being born it helps get over fears you have.

[dojo]

Just DH, same as last time. My mom is not cool under pressure and wouldn't do well. She's dying to come though - not because i think she actually really wants to see a birth, but because her best frienemy was present during her daughter's births. Gotta keep up!