I owe you a birth story--and it's LONG

[jennistarr1]

My due date based on last menstrual period was 3/24, but based on conception, my typical 33 day cycle, and the first sonogram, 3/29 was the more accurate due date.

My doctors urged me to schedule an induction, so I set it up for Tuesday 4/7. Went in the day before, was still 2.5 cm and 80% effaced as I had been. They told me not to eat anything past midnight and I seriously freaked out on the doctor.

Let's back track, I really had no birth plan, nothing special at all. All I wanted was all the things they talked about during our birthing class such as being able to eat, trying all the laboring positions, skin to skin contact, the various things you can try for pain relief.

So here we are, no food just in case I arrived at the hospital for a planned induction and would need emergency surgery at that point. I was mad, actually cried and posted here about them starving me.

So we eat eggplant for dinner, slimfast at midnight. I kept praying my water would just break. In the morning we drop off the dog and arrive at 7:30 walking in with my big birthing ball. We were told to have a seat, they would be out in a few minutes. An hour later...nothing. We kept our patience, finally someone talked to us and explained they were out of beds. I offer to go home, they say no. They told us to walk around for an hour. We go to the gift shop, husband eats, we run up and down steps taping each other still hoping for labor just to start. I take pictures in front of the Maury Povitch show that says "I'm white, stop trying to pin your black baby on me". Finally at 10:30 they get me started in triage until finally a room opens and pitocin starts at 11:12.

That's when I figure out that all if those birthing positions and pain relieving methods were not an option for me. Because of monitoring, my only option was to lay there like a guppy and hope this medicine does the trick. Anytime I shifted positions, the monitor would come off. I tried asking for an hour on an hour off monitors, they say no. I said what about just 15 minutes to try doing hands and knees or the birthing ball....no. So I laid there, didn't watch TV, didn't write in baby books, play card games, post here, check facebook....nothing...just laid there. There was only one point where they had me on oxygen for less than an hour for baby's heart rate. The rest of the time she looked good.

Meanwhile our family is pushing for updates and are frustrated we don't want them up there yet. I keep telling them nothing is happening, trying to convince them I am sparing them from a crowded waiting room.

At 4 they break my water...and then I really felt the contractions and honestly they really hurt. Though I felt like if I could just change positions or move freely I could handle them. I also had a lot of shaking, not sure why, adrenaline? But with the only option being an epidural, I gave in around 6. The process was smooth, around 8 I told my husband we should force ourselves to sleep which we did. At 10 I was checked, no progress. He said he would be back at midnight and if there was still no progress we would have to make a decision which I presumed to be section though he never said that

So we tell our families basically to come on up at midnight. Doctor doesn't actually check me until closer to one and as suspected, no progress. I basically made it to 6 cm and 90% effaced. I try one last time to ask about different positions that might have gravity working in my favor and c-section was my only option (if you can call it that).

Something I feel bad about, I had my mom, sister, MIL come back and see my waiting for doctor but when the doctor came they were supposed to leave and my husband (who was in waiting room with dads) was supposed to come in. Well when doc came in, my mom was the only one in room so I told her to go switch with my husband. She said my sister and MIL were supposed to tell him to come back. So I said something in a sense basically kicking her out and she was like "okay, let me grab my purse". My doctor starts checking me before husband comes back in which made me upset but I went a long with it. My mom really wanted to be there when baby was born, husband really wanted it to be just him. It's hard to make two people you love very much happy and choosing between them (and complicated by the emotions of my mom's illness, I'm crying let me get off this topic).

So the process of getting someone prepped for surgery goes fast. I tried putting on some basic makeup (powder and chapstick) and rinsing my mouth (thinking I would be breathing in my husbands face). Waste of time and made me seem more vain then I actually am. My advice to you girls is to do little things during the labor process to make yourself feel fresh, wipe your face, powder, comb your hair. Don't gargle with Listerine because it dried my mouth out so bad and I had an oxygen mask that made it worse (and made bad breath a mute point)

As they prepped me, lying naked with both arms in the crucifix position in a room with dozens of people swirling around you I thought "this is awful, I can barely tolerate this". I asked them "when will I see my baby" and they said after he/she was cleaned up they were bring the baby to my left side to show me. At one point they did a check to see if I was numb and felt them pinch me...and we kind of argued that I shouldn't have been able to feel that...I should feel pressure but not pain. All I can tell you is it felt like a pinch and it hurt. So they get started, bring in my husband who is so far behind me I can't see him and he can't hear me say "take my hand" until anesthesiologist says it for me.

Ladies, I felt everything...in a way that I would describe as much more than "pressure". True, it wasn't pain like someone slicing my stomach. But it wasn't numb, it wasn't a little bit of pressure...I squeezed my husbands hand, squealed, whimpered, cried. I hear a cry and they have my husband tell me "it's a girl" which of course he drug out to be "oh, I see...okay...it's a baby....girl". This is 2:06 am 4/8

After a while, I don't hear her anymore and they haven't held her up to me so I ask "is she okay" and they assured me she was. The doctors were sewing me up and I joked with them asking "how fat am I?" After a while I ask again "are you sure she's okay?" Yes, yes, she's fine you just have to be patient. Now they are wheeling me to recovery and I have yet to lay eyes on my baby girl so I start shouting "wait, wait, I haven't seen her" and the response was again that they were cleaning her up, I need to be patient. A nurse says "Dad, do you want to get a picture". So he stays back and I'm in recovery by myself for nearly 30 minutes and I keep asking "is she okay" and if she is okay "why can't I see her, where is my husband". I even asked for her weight, and length, and apgar scores and they told me they didn't know these yet. I knew something was wrong but no one would confirm it.

Finally he comes and tells me that no, she isn't okay, she has rapid breathing and has to go to the NICU immediately and I can't see her. This, is just to much for me to bear. I kept asking just to look at her and people's responses of "her breathing is more important" made me feel horrible because I wasn't asking for you to stop helping her...but at some point someone could have told me what was wrong or literally just held her up to me for a quick second. My husband got to do the whole cord cutting and take a picture and all that. He offered to show me this picture but I didn't want to see her first in a picture. I wanted to see her. My nurse finally says to me that the one nurse working on her always tries and show her to the mom if they can...and this nurse did bring her to me very briefly, like 20 seconds. After that, I began to feel better. Before as I lay there by myself, I kept wishing my nurse would just leave the room so I could cry and bawl like I wanted to. I can't tell you how scared and lonely I felt. And the shaking was pretty bad. Keeping it together was a struggle. I tell my husband to go announce to family "It's a girl!!!" first, then the breathing things second.

After recovery, they wheeled me through the NICU to see her again. We got to our room at 5 something and the nurse is going through a mountain of info. At one point she tells us we should order breakfast at 6:30 and I thought "Lady, I will be asleep then". Wrong! She was still talking at 7. I would fall in and out of sleep and she kept talking. We found out we could go to the NICU anytime we wanted but shift change so we were right back there at 8 am. I barely slept at all on 4/7 and 4/8 until my husband forced me to that night. I was moved up to solid food by lunch so I went 37 hours without eating (my previous record was 3 hours hahaha hashtag fatgirl). I got to hold her later that day and we got to bring grandparents back to see her later on 4/8 and hold her on 4/9. She came to our room 4/10 and we discharged 4/12.

We named her Elizabeth Mary Lynette. She is absolutely the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.  And she is honestly an enjoyable newborn. I LOVE HER!!!!  She was 21.25 inches long and 8 lb 14 ounces at birth, 8 lb 9 ounces when she came to our room and discharged from hospital and at first pediatrician appointment. Her dx was tracehomalacia which is an immature trachea which should resolve on it's own. At 2nd pediatrician appointment she was 9 lb 2 oz. So it seems like breastfeeding is going well.

I'm slowly getting over the trauma of her birth story. I realize there are people who have it WAY scarier than that so I need to get over myself. I read an article someone sent me on facebook which called c-section mamas "brave" and that is how I felt...like I had to be brave and endure in the best interest of my baby. And it is a lot to endure. Especially when your birth plan is as simple as the hospital protocol of skin to skin contact, not to even see your baby for hours is heart wrenching.

[Susie]

That sounds so challenging, but I am glad you guys are doing well now.

[busterpup]

Wow, I'm so sorry that her birth didn't go well. You definitely shouldn't feel guilty about your feelings. But I'm glad that she's a great baby now and that you are both healthy!

[starburst604]

I got teary when you talked about how they wouldn't let you see her, sorry it was such a hard experience! But I'm glad you're both doing well now!

[hainesherway]

Thanks for sharing your story. I will be having a c-section for sure but it's still scary to think about the "what if's". I am a bit freaked out I'm going to feel everything like you experienced and not see the baby for hours. I'm sorry you went through all of that.

[tiptoetulips]

Beautiful name sorry it didn't go the way you had hoped

[nmosrob]

I also teared up, I'm so sorry you had such a rough experience. So happy to hear everyone is doing well now!

[dearprudence]

What a long and eventful labor for you. I'm sorry it didn't go the way you planned.

[noodleoo]

Oh my gosh, that sounds so scary and terrible. I'm sad that they did not communicate well with you. Overall, are you okay with what the hospital staff did or unhappy? I guess I"m sort of curious if their behavior is "normal" or not. I would think they would try to be a bit more sympathetic to you as a new mom in such a scary situation.

Anyway, I'm happy to read the happy updates at the end. I hope the memory fades and you can just enjoy your baby girl! Congrats!!!

[kiddoc]

I'm so sorry delivery was rough for you, but glad to hear everyone is doing well now. I'm sorry it took so long to see her initially. I've participated in a lot of deliveries and even when we had to take the baby to the NICU, we would try our best to show the parents the baby before we transported them to the NICU.

[brandienee]

I am so glad that you are home and recovering. I am so so sorry thought, that you had such an awful experience. :-( their lack of communication should be addressed, I think. This is not okay.

[aprilsails]

I'm so sorry you had such a rough labour followed by a c-section followed by all of that stress and not seeing the baby.

I hope the memory fades and I'm glad your daughter and you are doing much better at home.

[achi]

Wow, that sounds like a terrible ordeal and I'm sorry that was your experience.

Congrats on your baby girl! I'm glad things are going well now.

[miamigirl]

I'm sorry things didn't go as planned. The part where they wouldn't let you see her made me really anxious just reading it. I can't imagine what you must have felt.

Congrats on your baby girl! I'm glad everything's ok.

[dojo]

You poor thing - you really went through the ringer! It's a wonder you were able to keep it together the way you were - it sounds like you were really strong. I hope recovery is going well and I'm so glad you're finally able to enjoy your beautiful baby girl!

[cheeseandcrackers]

I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant birth experience. I'm glad she is a good baby though and breast feeding is going well.

[liverandonions]

I'm so sorry they didn't keep you in the loop
On how she was doing. It sounds like she's doing great now and eating well. Congrats again!

[mcfelix]

Thanks for sharing. So sorry you had such a rough experience but so glad you and your baby girl are doing well at home.

[ebeth]

So sorry you had to go through all of that. It sounds terribly scary.

Hope you and baby are doing well! Love her name!

[fashionx]

Congratulations on the birth and a beautiful baby. I am so sorry to hear about your experience and cannot even imagine how awful those hours without seeing her must have been. I'm glad she is doing well now and is healthy!

Sent from my Moto X using Proboards.

[coda]

I'm so sorry that things didn't go as planned. That sounds like it was super scary.

Glad things are good now and congratulations on your baby!

[sarahsas]

jennistarr1 thanks for sharing. I now see how similar our birth stories were!!

I loved my labor and delivery class but one of my worst parts of labor also was that I felt like I was told in class to move, so the ball, walk, take a bath(my suite had a huge jacuzzi!) and I was not allowed bc of monitors. Ugh.

I'm just glad that your baby is ok and you guys are home/recovering!