Tomorrow is my appointment with the BF doctor - update below

[Deleted]

so I just need to braindump.

I'm not even sure what I'm looking to get out of the appointment, especially since I realized (don't laugh) that there's actually no test she can give me to see if my breasts will produce enough milk. (wilted)

I know it will be good just to get hooked up with a professional so that she can see us when and if I need help because I found the two LCs I worked with last time not so great. And it will be good just to talk about troubleshooting in advance, right?

I'm just afraid she's going to think I'm stupid and/or I didn't try hard enough with Ben.  Gah I hate how insecure I am about this.

DH doesn't really get it either.  Every time I mention being nervous about the baby he says "don't worry, we'll just take turns like last time" which is super sweet and helpful of him, but not actually how I want things to go.

So I need either hair pats or ideas of what to ask this doctor tomorrow so I'm not wasting her time.

Related: I never had a let down for the pump until like 10+ minutes in.  Do you think that is just an EP problem or a me problem?

[Deleted]

Just go in, tell your story, and go from there. She's not going to think you're stupid. You're clearly invested enough to be there, and she wants you to succeed. People that troubleshoot breastfeeding know it's not simple or easy. That's why they see problems, all day every day.

Responding poorly to the pump could be a pump problem - there are a lot of ways a pump is not a baby.

[Deleted]

PS. This woman will have a desk well stocked with Kleenex, so do not feel bad if you cry. Just say this stuff to her! "I wish you could give me a test to know if I'll have enough milk." and "I'm afraid you think I'm stupid or didn't try hard enough with Ben". Say the words out loud so you can just get on with what she can do for you.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 15:33:37 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

PS. This woman will have a desk well stocked with Kleenex, so do not feel bad if you cry. Just say this stuff to her! "I wish you could give me a test to know if I'll have enough milk." and "I'm afraid you think I'm stupid or didn't try hard enough with Ben". Say the words out loud so you can just get on with what she can do for you.

Aww thanks.  I am just worried she is going to think I'm a lunatic because they first scheduled my appointment months back and then called and told me I needed to reschedule because I wasn't pregnant enough so I'm already that crazy person calling in the second trimester with no BFing baby.

[lilac05]

@tokenhoser said it better than I could. If BFing was easy and no one worried about it, your doc wouldn't have a job! I can guarantee she won't think you're stupid, and anyone with an ounce of common sense will know that your troubles last time weren't due to not trying hard enough. I hope the appointment goes well for you!

As far as your H goes, H and I worked out a system that worked REALLY well for both of us. (In fact, he tells all of his friends about it! LOL.) When baby would wake up at night, he'd get up & change his diaper. Then he'd bring the baby to me so I could nurse him laying back in bed (not side-lying until they were older). He'd go back to sleep & I'd nurse the baby & then put him back in bed. It was so nice to only have to get up once, especially when I was still recovering. The biggest thing, though, is I really felt like we were a team. He loved feeling like he was helping, and it meant so much to me to have his help, even though he couldn't do the feeding.

[longtimenopost]

Good luck! WRT the letdown, It could've been an EP problem, a you problem, or just a pump setting problem. I had to EP for 12 weeks in the NICU and it took me 2-3 weeks to get a good response. In my case, I had to turn the suction down MUCH lower than the nurse originally showed me how and play around with the dials to find the optimal settings. The hospital had both Amedas and Medelas and this was easier on the Ameda. Once my boobs understood what was going on, the Medela was by far easier because I could just press the letdown button.

[Ashley&Scott]

I'm with @tokenhoser, don't feel dumb & don't be embarrassed. This is her job, she's likely seen it all. Just go & tell her your story. Ask if she has any suggestions for this time so you can reach your goal. Ask for numbers of who to call & when. (You might also ask if she has a good LC resource, they're not all created equal & it would be nice to have another person to call besides her.)

Also - are you planning to EP this time or a mix of BFing & pumping?

[Brie]

Anecdotally speaking, I've found that IBCLCs/CLCs/pediatricians and what have you get much less worked up about BFing than Random Internet Crunchy Moms do.

To them, it's a medical/biological thing and not emotionally charged or judgeworthy. They're doctors/nurses and they want to solve your problem and that's that. It's not like your your dermatologist would judge you for having acne or something.

I hope everything goes well!

[cilantro]

I got nothing that hasn't already been said, except I think it's awesome that you're making sure you go into this with all the tools and knowledge you could possibly get. However you decide to feed this kid at the end of the day, and whatever works out or doesn't, I hope going through this makes you cool and at peace with how it turns out. I know it sucks looking back and wondering what if.

[noodleskooze]

I really hope it goes well and gives you some peace of mind. I know how stressful it is to worry in advance about bfing, which is so out of our control to begin with.

[estrellita]

*hugs* I actually would love to do something like this whenever we have #2. I can relate to the stress and anxiety because that's pretty much all I felt for the first few weeks of E's life. If I can do something in advance next time to increase my chances of BFing and/or pumping, I definitely will. I highly doubt she will think you're stupid or that you didn't try "hard enough". She should know that no amount of "trying" will work in some cases. I hope the appointment goes well and that things are better this time around!

[Deleted]

I hope things go well. Don't feel dumb. I hope it's a positive experience.
And excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a breast feeding doctor? I've seen lots of work done by lactation consultants, but never seen a breast feeding doctor in the hospital. I'm assuming this is different? Are they medical doctors? What's their training?

[Saudade]

Apr 23, 2015 17:13:15 GMT -5 @wandering said:

I hope things go well. Don't feel dumb. I hope it's a positive experience.
And excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a breast feeding doctor? I've seen lots of work done by lactation consultants, but never seen a breast feeding doctor in the hospital. I'm assuming this is different? Are they medical doctors? What's their training?

Yes, a MD. They specialize in lactation medicine. 

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 18:07:30 GMT -5 Saudade said:

Apr 23, 2015 17:13:15 GMT -5 @wandering said:

I hope things go well. Don't feel dumb. I hope it's a positive experience.
And excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a breast feeding doctor? I've seen lots of work done by lactation consultants, but never seen a breast feeding doctor in the hospital. I'm assuming this is different? Are they medical doctors? What's their training?

Yes, a MD. They specialize in lactation medicine. 

Thanks for sharing! Never knew that was a specialty. I'm assuming it's a fellowship. I wonder what you have to do your residency in to go in to it. I'll have to read up about it.

[curbsideprophet]

Good luck! I hope she can put your mind at ease and provide some helpful information.

I second the recommendation of having DH get up and change the diaper then bring him to you. DH did this and it was extremely helpful. I did not need to get out of bed and it gave me chance to get situated with my nursing pillow.

[spankswife]

I just had DS on Sunday, and I can tell you are BF experience is so much better this time than last, already. I had no milk w/ DD and had to stop 3 weeks out.

We aren't out of the woods yet (too soon) but I can already tell it's more productive. Just be positive. Each experience is different.

One of my nurses said, breastfeeding is not a science, it's an art. There is no one perfect set of rules. This resonated with me bc I'm so math/science oriented and I get frustrated but it made me realize i can't be that way. It's still not easy, but so much better.

[AmyRI]

I hope you have a great appointment. Don't feel silly for making it. If they didn't want to see pregnant women, they would have told you!

Am I allowed to place bets on what the major issue was with B? Because I will place money on him just being a sleepy newborn and you not realizing early enough to really bring your milk fully in. I'm not convinced there was anything wrong other than bad timing. I really hate the whole "tried hard enough" thing because it's so subjective, but you did a LOT of work trying to boost your supply. Give yourself some credit!

What pump were you using?

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 19:59:13 GMT -5 AmyRI said:

I hope you have a great appointment. Don't feel silly for making it. If they didn't want to see pregnant women, they would have told you!

Am I allowed to place bets on what the major issue was with B? Because I will place money on him just being a sleepy newborn and you not realizing early enough to really bring your milk fully in. I'm not convinced there was anything wrong other than bad timing. I really hate the whole "tried hard enough" thing because it's so subjective, but you did a LOT of work trying to boost your supply. Give yourself some credit!

What pump were you using?

Thanks.  He was definitely so sleepy at first so maybe? I went back and forth from the Symphony and the Freestyle.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 22:20:49 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Apr 23, 2015 19:59:13 GMT -5 AmyRI said:

I hope you have a great appointment. Don't feel silly for making it. If they didn't want to see pregnant women, they would have told you!

Am I allowed to place bets on what the major issue was with B? Because I will place money on him just being a sleepy newborn and you not realizing early enough to really bring your milk fully in. I'm not convinced there was anything wrong other than bad timing. I really hate the whole "tried hard enough" thing because it's so subjective, but you did a LOT of work trying to boost your supply. Give yourself some credit!

What pump were you using?

She also has fertility issues and I think PCOS or something similar.  Jacked up hormones can limit breast tissue development as well as cause supply issues.  

Yes PCOS with anovulation.

[Deleted]

It went great!  She wants me to call her as soon as I deliver so she can try to see us within two days of birth so she can check for any issues. She has privileges at the hospital where I'll deliver and my insurance will cover it so yay.  I practiced the football hold which is the position she wants me to focus on.  We wrote up my breastfeeing plan for the first few days, some of which I knew and some of which I didn't know (like don't hold the head or he will get mad!).

She sees pregnant women all the time so I didn't feel crazy.

She made me feel better about B.  Said it was great I pumped for as long as I did and most women give up.

Examined my breasts.  Said all women are different so it's impossible to predict from a simple examination but I definitely have darkened areoleas, fullness and increased veins.

Gave me a bunch of handouts and things to check out.

I'm glad I went and now I feel like I have another person in my BFing corner.

Thanks all!

[bananapancakes]

Awesome update!

[robyn]

Yay! Glad the appointment went well. She sounds like an awesome resource!

[oswin]

Yay, that sounds great.

[Ashley&Scott]

Great update @notquiteblushing!

[djc315]

Sounds like a helpful appointment! She sounds like a wonderful resource to have on your side!

[badtzmaru22]

That sounds great!! I hope you have an easier time this time!

[Deleted]

Great update!

[pugz]

sounds great!

[zeewifeandmama]

Great update!! I'm happy to hear you are feeling so supported!

[curbsideprophet]

Glad it went well!