We only told Abby when we were ready to announce it to the world. They're not really old enough to wonder, "why didn't you tell me first?" By the time we told her, all our close family and friends knew.
I didn't tell J until after my NT scan, and after we got the results of the Harmony test, so around 14 weeks? Everyone else knew by then. Like you, I wanted to get further along just in case something happened. I don't think he would have understood the loss.
He's not going to ever remember what order he was told. Really, all he will ever know in life is having a sibling. So if you want to tell the in laws, go for it!
Post by charmediamsure on Apr 25, 2015 10:45:41 GMT -5
I would tell L and have him give them the news that he is going to be a big brother.
But we told Jack pretty early, like pretty much as soon as the doctor confirmed it. I wasn't concerned because I figured that if something happened he probably wouldn't have grasped much of it anyway and/or would forget. I told my mom at about 6 weeks because I figured that if something went wrong I would want her to know anyway.
I'm clearly not good at keeping these things a secret though.
10 years down the road L will have no idea if you told him first or not. So do what you want to do. Tell the in laws while they are down to make it personal if you want! L will get it but not fully understand it. I think 3 years sometimes think we buy babies from the hospital or grocery store....
At this age I don't think it matters really. If he were 4+ I would think he should know first but in this situation I would go ahead and tell the parents
I would tell your ILs if you want to! Don't worry about when you tell L.
Ada actually didn't get it for awhile. She would never have been able to announce it because she didn't understand sister or siblings for weeks. We ended up getting a big sister book to help explain things.
I would tell L and have him give them the news that he is going to be a big brother.
But we told Jack pretty early, like pretty much as soon as the doctor confirmed it. I wasn't concerned because I figured that if something happened he probably wouldn't have grasped much of it anyway and/or would forget. I told my mom at about 6 weeks because I figured that if something went wrong I would want her to know anyway.
I'm clearly not good at keeping these things a secret though.
We aren't ready to tell L yet, that's the thing. I would love for him to announce it to other family later after we've told him, but it just happens that we have family in town now and this week. browneyedhunni85
Lincoln was obviously much younger but we had him "announce" he was the big brother by wearing a shirt, so he kinda knew first but he didn't remember. I think if you tell the ILs when L isn't around, he won't know he wasn't the first to know.
We told H that we had an embryo in my belly that could turn into a baby, but it wasn't a baby yet. Something could still happen that made it so we didn't get a baby, but there was a decent chance there would be a brother or sister soon.
We didn't call Charlie a baby until after the anatomy scan.
The only thing I would worry about is someone saying something to him. We told Noah first because we knew family would immediately start saying things about being a big brother and I didn't want him to be confused or hear that from someone else.
But I would just wait and tell everyone later if that makes you more comfortable
I think if YOU think he should know first, then let him be the first to know. If that means you have to wait a little longer to tell the rest of your family, then that's fine.
We told H early but h didn't really get it - certainly not enough to care or tell anyone. Even when I bought him a baby doll at 20 weeks he didn't quite get that a real baby is coming. I wouldn't feel weird about him being the last to know at this age.
We don't tell A until after everybody else knew. She doesn't understand secrets lol. We told her around 14 weeks.
This, exactly. We didn't want him telling everyone, and we also wanted to wait until more of the risk had passed. Plus I think it helped him to understand when I had a little belly.
ETA I think it was around 16 weeks that we told him.
Post by angiekay84 on Apr 25, 2015 17:41:28 GMT -5
I would tell the in-laws. I told S at 14 weeks and kinda wish it had been even later only because the rest of the pregnancy is so long, I felt sad that she was excited but was going to have to wait forever. I am done with this baby, but if I had a third, I would wait even longer just because it's less time for the littles to wait - it's hard for her to comprehend just how long that much time is.