I hate my BIL and SIL

[aspentosh]

It's official. They are some of the worst people when it comes to not being assholes to us.

Today is their youngest son's birthday (turning 2). We called to wish him happy birthday and H chatted with his brother for a few minutes. BIL said he had to go so they could get stuff ready for his party tonight. Um, we weren't invited.

We live an hour away and have yet to miss a party that they invited us to, even though it is always last minute. Meanwhile they couldn't make it to DD's party because SIL and the two daughters had to go to a cheer competition so could BIL and nephew could NEVER come alone. 

Then when we didn't send money for one of their daughter's birthdays BIL had the fucking nerve to call and say "where was her card?" when we got nothing for DD's birthday (which is fine, I thought we were just not doing presents). 

Fucking assholes. I am livid.

[Odonata]

So not being invited is retaliation for last year's absent birthday card?

I'm sorry they are such asses.

[chickens987]

what assholes.

[aspentosh]

Apr 25, 2015 11:57:21 GMT -5 Odonata said:

So not being invited is retaliation for last year's absent birthday card?

I'm sorry they are such asses.

The card call was in March and we immediately sent one with $20 in it. SO I have no fucking  clue.

[Marmee]

I'm so sorry. Family sucks sometimes.! I'm feeling the same way toward my BIL & SIL...they moved & are 20min away (in the suburb of my city), neither work & yet I've seen my niece exactly twice in the 5mo she's been alive. They have an excuse to not attend the birthday parties & holidays I've invited them to. I don't get it honestly.

[anna7602]

Apr 25, 2015 12:17:16 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

Apr 25, 2015 11:57:21 GMT -5 Odonata said:

So not being invited is retaliation for last year's absent birthday card?

I'm sorry they are such asses.

The card call was in March and we immediately sent one with $20 in it. SO I have no fucking  clue.

Wow, that was very nice of you considering what assholes they were about it.

Look at the bright side: at least you don't have to see them tonight.

[aspentosh]

I just want to rid myself of them, which is horrible because it's H's only sibling. I know his father must be rolling in his grave right now because all he wanted was for them to stay close. UGH.

[ssmjlm]

I've talked about DH's shitty brother on here before so I'll just commiserate with you.

We invited them to E's party today and they no showed. I thought maybe BIL would come alone like thanksgiving but apparently his only niece means nothing to him.

[aspentosh]

Apr 25, 2015 12:33:54 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

I've talked about DH's shitty brother on here before so I'll just commiserate with you.

We invited them to E's party today and they no showed. I thought maybe BIL would come alone like thanksgiving but apparently his only niece means nothing to him.

I always get really worked up with your posts because it's like reading about them.

The worstestest part is that they never forget to invite her family (parents, brother, nieces and nephew). Just us.

ASS. HOLES.

[anna7602]

Apr 25, 2015 12:35:32 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

Apr 25, 2015 12:33:54 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

I've talked about DH's shitty brother on here before so I'll just commiserate with you.

We invited them to E's party today and they no showed. I thought maybe BIL would come alone like thanksgiving but apparently his only niece means nothing to him.

I always get really worked up with your posts because it's like reading about them.

The worstestest part is that they never forget to invite her family (parents, brother, nieces and nephew). Just us.

ASS. HOLES.

Did they "forget" or do they just not want you there? Not trying to rub salt in the wound. But does your H have the kind of cojones to say, "what time should we be there for the party?" Assuming you actually want to go...

I have about 80 levels of dysfunction happening in my family, including a brother who has yet to call/email to congratulate me on the birth of my son almost 9 months ago. So, I hear you...

[aspentosh]

Apr 25, 2015 12:40:14 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Apr 25, 2015 12:35:32 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

I always get really worked up with your posts because it's like reading about them.

The worstestest part is that they never forget to invite her family (parents, brother, nieces and nephew). Just us.

ASS. HOLES.

Did they "forget" or do they just not want you there? Not trying to rub salt in the wound. But does your H have the kind of cojones to say, "what time should we be there for the party?" Assuming you actually want to go...

I have about 80 levels of dysfunction happening in my family, including a brother who has yet to call/email to congratulate me on the birth of my son almost 9 months ago. So, I hear you...

I would assume they just didn't think it was important to invite us. I don't know if that means they don't want us there or assumed we didn't want to come. Either way it stings. I seriously wanted to FB post him and say "I'm sorry we didn't get an invitation but we'll be there at 5!".

Your brother is mean, too

[azurely]

I'm sorry.

It's not even close to the same thing, but I'm hurt that my brother and his wife haven't traveled up here to see C again. They came for Thanksgiving when he was a week old. I know we could go there, but it's so much easier for them to travel up here. Plus my brother is the one who moved away, not me

I'm also still annoyed that they refused to get flu shots before coming to meet their newborn nephew, knowing they'd be traveling on a germy plane. Wtf.

[aspentosh]

azurely- that's still awful. Drinks for you, too!

@dontcallmeshirley1- I would never do that because I could never be nice to them right now. And I already told H they won't be invited to DD's party next year. And I just unfriended them on FB. Passive aggressive, party of 1! lol

I really shouldn't be surprised by them anymore but it still hurts each time.

[mcfelix]

Yeah I would be super pissed though. Remember - friends are the family you choose. And the opposite is sadly true - you don't typically choose your family, as assholish as some family can be.

[humpforfree]

That sucks. Any chance it was just kid/friend party?

[mushmouse]

Apr 25, 2015 12:17:16 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

Apr 25, 2015 11:57:21 GMT -5 Odonata said:

So not being invited is retaliation for last year's absent birthday card?

I'm sorry they are such asses.

The card call was in March and we immediately sent one with $20 in it. SO I have no fucking  clue.

Next time tell him it's in card purgatory with the your daughter's card. Please tell me you are not sending anything for this birthday.

[pennylane]

I'm sorry they are jerks. Mine are too, so I get how frustrated you are.

[ECB]

I know you feel passive aggressive about unfriending them, but really - I see it as the first step to getting to a place where you won't be so upset by them. Distance is a good thing in situations like this. It's also about self preservation.

They clearly don't view your relationship the same as you all do. It sucks and clearly you don't understand why. But distancing yourself is good and in time, you will hopefully not be AS hurt.

GOod luck.

[browneyedgirl9]

Wow. Asshole for sure!

[aspentosh]

Apr 25, 2015 14:55:49 GMT -5 ECB said:

I know you feel passive aggressive about unfriending them, but really - I see it as the first step to getting to a place where you won't be so upset by them. Distance is a good thing in situations like this. It's also about self preservation.

They clearly don't view your relationship the same as you all do. It sucks and clearly you don't understand why. But distancing yourself is good and in time, you will hopefully not be AS hurt.

GOod luck.

Thanks for this. It makes me feel like less of a bitch, but honestly you're right. 

We always jump through hoops to see them because they are SOOOO busy (yes, three kids will do that to you but you can still make time) and I am just putting my foot down. I refuse to be a doormat. 

[ssmjlm]

aspentosh I unfriended mine over a year ago. It was after some hateful drama went down over E's first Christmas. It was freeing. I no longer had to see their blatant lying and holier than thou postings.

[ECB]

Apr 25, 2015 15:13:38 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

Apr 25, 2015 14:55:49 GMT -5 ECB said:

I know you feel passive aggressive about unfriending them, but really - I see it as the first step to getting to a place where you won't be so upset by them. Distance is a good thing in situations like this. It's also about self preservation.

They clearly don't view your relationship the same as you all do. It sucks and clearly you don't understand why. But distancing yourself is good and in time, you will hopefully not be AS hurt.

GOod luck.

Thanks for this. It makes me feel like less of a bitch, but honestly you're right. 

We always jump through hoops to see them because they are SOOOO busy (yes, three kids will do that to you but you can still make time) and I am just putting my foot down. I refuse to be a doormat. 

Absolutely- you can make time when you WANT to make time.  I have a couple friends w/ 3 kids.  We don't see each other a ton, but when they want to get together, they make it happen. It's not impossible.  

It seems almost like they seem to expect everyone to jump for them - but then they aren't willing to do the same.  They actually have the nerve to ask where their DDs b-day card is, but they don't send your child a card??  That's so amazingly rude and selfish.  

Don't feel bad about protecting yourself and your family.  

[steph196]

That is ridiculous! I'm sorry!