Tell a Funny Story

[lilafowler]

I will debase myself to entertain you folks.
I grew up (and now live) where John Adams and crew established themselves. Shit about them is everywhere. Anyways-in my early 20s I went to a house party and got blasted. Left at like 8 in the morning with my friend Peter and we started walking towards the nearest T. All of a sudden I felt sick and yakked into the brook right in front of the Adams' Homestead (it's a national historic site).
I puked on America!

[lilafowler]

[lilafowler]

Apr 25, 2015 20:31:22 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

You're a monster.

My dad got in trouble for touching a wooden chest in the Adams mansion. He also got a talking to at the Hoover Dam for poking around (he's lucky this was pre 9/11 or they would have shot him lol).

[lilafowler]

We push America's boundaries!

[lilafowler]

You guys are no fun

[lilafowler]

Thank you for participating!

[sewf]

DS still isn't talking much, but he says "Yeah" a million times a day. He hasn't even said "no" yet.

A few days ago, H was talking to DS and he kept saying yeah, over and over. H said, "You don't say no very often, do you?" DS looks him right in the eye and said, "Nuh-uh!"

[lilafowler]

I have more!

[meggers5]

When I saw FI last we went out for a really nice dinner then had a few drinks. On the way home I had to go to the bathroom like now. Reaching critical. So I told him and we hustled home and I had him hurry ahead to get the door unlocked. Total diarrhea.

Then quite a while later he walks past the bathroom and says, "I'm not suggesting anything by this but you don't like to use the air freshener spray in the bathroom, do you?".

I had used it

[lilafowler]

Omg meggers5!

[lilafowler]

I love love love you lol

[lilafowler]

One New Years Eve I was extremely inebriated on multiple substances and went to a house party and then fell asleep on the toilet.

[McGavin]

I'll try to condense this.

Friend bought theatre tickets for herself and her boyfriend for his birthday. Then she found out he was cheating on her. He had the tickets but she wanted them back. She called the theatre (or ticketmaster?) and because she bought them with her credit card they cancelled the original tickets and issued her new ones.

She suspected that ex-boyfriend would take The Other Woman to the show. She took a friend and had an usher (that she explained the sitch to) escort them to the seats at the last minute before show started. Boyfriend was there with new girl and they had to leave.

[lilafowler]

Apr 25, 2015 20:58:16 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Apr 25, 2015 20:53:08 GMT -5 lilafowler said:

One New Years Eve I was extremely inebriated on multiple substances and went to a house party and then fell asleep on the toilet.

Service elevator!!!

Omg Kev!!! SHAME

[meganew]

One time I got drunk in college and tried to walk across campus to the 24 hour diner but didn't quite make it. I woke up the next morning on the steps of the graduate center while people were walking past me to get to class.

[circa1978]

Apr 25, 2015 21:00:58 GMT -5 meganew said:

One time I got drunk in college and tried to walk across campus to the 24 hour diner but didn't quite make it. I woke up the next morning on the steps of the graduate center while people were walking past me to get to class.

This also happened to me (dorm/dining hall steps) but all these years I've chalked it up to normal college experiences. No? Lol.

[cabbagecabbage]

The day my MIL met my mom we had a BBQ at my house to introduce them. My MIL to-be at the time was sitting around the backyard table with everyone on both sides reached back and unclasped her bra and removed it through the arm holes of her shirt. Then she sighed, "Ah, that feels better." That's as classy as she gets.

[shell24]

Apr 25, 2015 20:29:08 GMT -5 lilafowler said:

I will debase myself to entertain you folks.
I grew up (and now live) where John Adams and crew established themselves. Shit about them is everywhere. Anyways-in my early 20s I went to a house party and got blasted. Left at like 8 in the morning with my friend Peter and we started walking towards the nearest T. All of a sudden I felt sick and yakked into the brook right in front of the Adams' Homestead (it's a national historic site).
I puked on America!

m

It wasn't me, but if it makes you feel any better 2 people at my wedding puked on the outside steps of the building-also a National Historic Site .

I have many an embarassing puke story. Here's one:
On the night of my 29th birthday, my H and I went out with his brother and his girlfriend, with our 5 month old DD. What was meant to be just a dinner turned into being almost the last ones in the restaurant at close to midnight. Mother of the year right here LOL (ah, it was so easy when they slept in the carrier). I ended up getting pretty smashed and when we got home I opened my car door and puked outside of it. The stain was still there when we moved out 2 years later. The next morning I had brunch plans with 2 college friends. I was very hungover and not feeling well. On my way home I needed the restroom and lets just say I needed a pants person by the time I got up the 3 flights to my condo.

[lilafowler]

Apr 25, 2015 21:12:30 GMT -5 Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear said:

That's not funny enough? I'm sure I peed in a couple closets.

Oh. Does anyone want to hear about me crawling down a dorm hallway with a bra wrapped around my head across the street from the Breakers?

[lilafowler]

I got fucked up Gilded Age style bitches

[lilafowler]

I fully admit I was a lucky fucking bitch college years.

[cabbagecabbage]

Apr 25, 2015 21:16:34 GMT -5 Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear said:

Apr 25, 2015 21:15:45 GMT -5 cabbagecabbage said:

The day my MIL met my mom we had a BBQ at my house to introduce them. My MIL to-be at the time was sitting around the backyard table with everyone on both sides reached back and unclasped her bra and removed it through the arm holes of her shirt. Then she sighed, "Ah, that feels better." That's as classy as she gets.

NO

stack of bibles. Yes.

[lilafowler]

cabbagecabbage dude

[cabbagecabbage]

She did not raise my husband. Her parents/his grandparents did. She's a goldmine really, if you overlook the horrible person part.

[lilafowler]

I have serious giggles right now at myself lol

[lilafowler]

For Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear
Picture it. Pre-Christmas break, 1995 (Sophomore year in college for me was 1995-1996). We decided to have a party before we went home for Christmas. We secured two bottles of Rumpleminze and various other things. I remember drinking LOTS of Rumpleminze. And more Rumpleminze.
The last thing I remembered was sitting on the edge of this chick down the hall's tub taking a bong hit...

[meganew]

Apr 25, 2015 21:15:45 GMT -5 cabbagecabbage said:

The day my MIL met my mom we had a BBQ at my house to introduce them. My MIL to-be at the time was sitting around the backyard table with everyone on both sides reached back and unclasped her bra and removed it through the arm holes of her shirt. Then she sighed, "Ah, that feels better." That's as classy as she gets.

In her defense, that is the best feeling in the world.

[lilafowler]

And then I woke up in my bed and said "WHERE AM I?"
My BFF roommate said "YOU'RE ALIVE GO TO SLEEP!"

[TrickyBob]

Lol cabbage, commas would go a long way in that story. Lmfao. I read it as the folks on either side of her unclasped her bra!!

[fezzik]

Here's my embarrassing puke story. Before H and I started dating, we were going to go out with friends and meet up. I pre-partied with my friends right before we went out and I stupidly took a bunch of vodka shots. By the time we went out and met up with H and his friends, I was the drunkest I'd ever been. It was bad. I told H I needed to go outside and get some air, so he went with me. Well, we got outside and I puked all over. Twice. Since all of our friends just got there and weren't ready to leave, I didn't have a ride to leave, so H decides to call his mom. omg.

The first time meeting my future MIL I was drunk off my ass and smelled like puke. She took us to her house to spend the night and in the morning she told H, "Tell her not to be embarrassed. I left a tooth brush and a comb in the bathroom for her. Oh, and we're all going out for bagels in 15 minutes then we'll bring her home." So, I went out to breakfast with H, his mom, and his step-dad. Lol. I only had my "party clothes" on, so I was totally dressed inappropriately. Not my finest moment, but at least my future ILs were good about it. I suppose it's kind of funny now, lol.