DH wants me to consider withdrawing DS1 from the church preschool we signed him up for. He would start in September a few weeks before DS2 arrives and go Tues/Thurs from 930-230. We can afford the 185/month and still have fun stuff in the budget but if DS didn't go we wouldn't have to watch it as closely.
While I would like the extra budget flexibility I also think it would be nice to have sometime with just DS2. Plus this opens up the possibility of using their MDO program on Wednesdays that is only $25 for both kids for 6 hours. DH WFH on Fridays so if DS1 went to "school" Tues/Thurs that only leaves me 2 days/week on my own with both kids.
DH is leaving this entirely up to me and I think he will be ok with whatever choice I make. DS1 regularly goes to gym daycare (several times/week) so I'm not super worried about starting school illness a lot of kids get.
I kept DD1 in full time daycare while I was on leave and it was such a good decision for us (and not cheap at $1500/month). Some days I really needed to nap with the baby and there would have been none of that with an almost 3 yr old. Plus lots of snuggle time, leisurely walks and shopping trips, easy lunches out with friends...And good to keep DD1 in her routine with all the changes.
I only have 1 baby but I would definitely prioritize solo time with a 2nd and school for the first. $185/month is CHEAP. Like less than $50/week. Your H is crazy to even ask you to cut it.
I love having ds1 in daycare. It makes my time with ds2 so much less stressful and I feel like I can actually bond with him. Ds1 is so clingy and cuddly I'd probably have to leave ds2 alone in various containment devices all day if it were always the 3 of us. A lot of the mom's I know on mat leave have their older kid in part time daycare if they're under preschool age.
Yeah, I don't think that's enough of a reason for him not to go. It will be great for him, and give you a break. $185 a month is cheap, and well worth the benefits.
Also, maybe I am an anomaly, but with 2 kids you won't be out doing a ton of fun stuff, LOL. We have tried eating out with both of them a few times and it is not relaxing at all.
Preschool if he's 2 or older. $185/month is super reasonable. And the 5 hr session will allow you some breathing room.
He'll benefit so much from a quality preschool experience. Gym babysitting is fine, but it doesn't necessarily foster relationships with the same cohort of kids or include the preschool social curriculum and "academics".
Ditto motzie. I mean I wouldn't go into debt to spend an additional $185/month, but I would definitely cut elsewhere to find it in my budget or forego other things for a month or two to keep it in. In a word (phrase?), I think your H is being penny wise and pound foolish. If nothing else, think of how awesome for you the break from your DS1 will be if you have another bad sleeper in DS2 (but of course I pray you don't).
Post by longtimenopost on Apr 26, 2015 9:44:18 GMT -5
We are doing exactly this, and our budget is very tight because I have crappy ML coverage. Totally worth it to me, even if we are in the red for 3 months.
We're keeping DD in FT daycare when the baby gets here, and it's a much bigger expense that we normally wouldn't have (she normally drops to PT during the summer while I'm off). I'm not a baby person, and I really feel like a newborn plus DD all day would break my sanity, especially if this baby is anything like DD was. I also want to keep DD in as much of a structured routine as possible since so much of her home life will be changing.
Keep it. I was the one who posted about not sending DS to preschool b/c I was worried about illnesses. But as I said in my OP, DS may have a compromised immune system and gets sick very easily. I wish I could have sent him somewhere. I want time alone with DD, the poor girl deserves a nice quiet nap sometimes (DS constantly wakes her up). I'm lucky that DS still naps, but I've had very little luck getting them both to nap at the same time, so I don't get to nap. If DD was a normal newborn I'd be horribly sleep deprived. Luckily she STTN, magic unicorn baby. I would love time with just DD. I am looking forward to DS starting preschool in September.
Omg do not drop him. My MIL watches DD while I work but since I'm out on leave right now she hasn't been watching her and it is NOT easy trying to care for a new born with a toddler around. I would give anything to have more alone time with DS and be able to actually nap.
Omg do not drop him. My MIL watches DD while I work but since I'm out on leave right now she hasn't been watching her and it is NOT easy trying to care for a new born with a toddler around. I would give anything to have more alone time with DS and be able to actually nap.
That sucks? She won't take her at all now for you?
I only have 1 baby but I would definitely prioritize solo time with a 2nd and school for the first. $185/month is CHEAP. Like less than $50/week. Your H is crazy to even ask you to cut it.
All this. It was nice break sending DD to preschool when DS was a newborn. $185/month is a bargain for that one on one time.
Preschool if he's 2 or older. $185/month is super reasonable. And the 5 hr session will allow you some breathing room.
He'll benefit so much from a quality preschool experience. Gym babysitting is fine, but it doesn't necessarily foster relationships with the same cohort of kids or include the preschool social curriculum and "academics".
Our area doesn't really have MDO since all the churches have preschools (Probably so they can charge more). This place gets great reviews, is a mile from our house and he can stay until he starts kindergarten.
Well, you know I'm a huge fan of MDO. IMO, it's not just for a break for you. DD really loves it and enjoys doing all of those things that are hard to make happen at home and I only have her! In a single day, she sings lots of songs, reads with her teachers, plays on the playground, paints, plays pretend with friends, plays trains, colors, strings beads, sorts fun pom poms, builds with magnatiles, and on and on.
More than just alone time for you and the baby, I think it would be nice for your DS to have some time where he gets to do some "big boy" things, kwim?
Yes send him. I'm keeping B in full time daycare when DS2 arrives. I can't imagine wrangling an active toddler and a newborn and he loves his school (plus I can't really pull him out and keep his spot but even still).
Thanks for the reassurance about my decision! It feels like a luxury item but since we can afford it I would love to keep it.
I told DH we would use some of his bonus money to be the buffer money instead and he seemed much happier. I think he is just getting anxious about all the expenses that come with a baby vs being a jerk. Since we don't currently spend this $ it was an easy thing to target.
Post by redpenmama on Apr 26, 2015 11:47:01 GMT -5
It will be helpful and you will need it.
DD went twice a week at age 2 when I had a newborn, and it was a lifesaver. I napped with the baby (who was a great sleeper during the day but was up a lot at night) or grocery shopped or got things done around the house -- all things that were very tough to do with a 2.5 y/o and a newborn. It was only 6 hours a week, but it made an enormous difference. Do it.