Family vent

[teatimefor2]

My brother is so thoughtless.

He's just doesn't think how things impact others.

Example: He essentially wrote on FB that he was proposing to his GF/now wife before he did it. My parents found out when her BFF called after seeing it on FB. He also lived at home and my parents were supporting him( they no longer are, he's joined the military and had good career).

My mom sent my sister, brother and I a text message of my cousin running s half marathon included on dad on text. A little banter about running and my dad says they are at a local pub celebrating. My brother text, "seems like a good time to tell everyone I'm being deployed in October to Jordan for six months."

Seriously! My parents didn't know and you know they are out with other family! You couldn't call them. I just wrote, wow. We had a holiday there and it was very nice and very safe.

But argh! I know my parents will be upset, I just feel bad for them. They really try to have a good relationship with him and his wife, but with limited success. He knows they will worry about this and it would have been nice for him to ring them rather than send them a text message.

He just is thoughtless.

Please share your family vent... Get it off your chest.

[Deleted]

Oh man, yor brother lacks a thoughtful gene!

Here's mine: DD's daycare is closed for a week in August. We're planning on making a 25 hour round trip road trip to western Washington state to see H's family. This includes MIK and her H, and FIL and his wife. H talked FIL this morning: FIL thought that we planned to visit on July, so he scheduled a trip to ALASKA the week were coming TO VISIT HIM!

I'm sofuckingpissed. Especially because this comes on the heels of an argument with H about how we spend more time with my family than his. PROBABLY BECAUSE MINE DOESNT LEAVE TOWN WHEN WE COME TO VISIT!!!

[Willis Jackson]

He's only going for 6 months. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand why your parents would be worried.

[teatimefor2]

Apr 26, 2015 20:23:57 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

He's only going for 6 months. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand why your parents would be worried.

My parents, especially my mom, worry. He's military and it is a deployment to the Middle East.

Historically, Jordan has always been a very stable country ruled by a King and his family, however, the country in the last five years has started to see some issues. They have had a huge influx of refugees from neighboring countries, especially Syria as well as Isis. Isis killed one of their pilots if I recall. Additionally tourism used to be one of their chief imports and when we went in Oct 2011, our guide said that everything economically had slowed as tourism was decreasing due to conflicts in the region.

Deployments always come with risk. I don't think it's appropriate to share any real news like that via text, maybe I'm just old fashioned.

[marina007]

Apr 26, 2015 20:23:57 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

He's only going for 6 months. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand why your parents would be worried.

Really? 6 months is a pretty long time, no? And I know, it's not a war zone, but I would not be surprised that parents will be worried when their son announces a military deployment. 

[marina007]

teatimefor2 - that sucks. It's frustrating when family doesn't understand how their actions impact their family's feelings.

My brother is super clueless, too - my family vent is that he never stands up to his wife (my SIL) and refuses all contact with our parents. I know on these boards there are a lot of terrible mother/father-in-law stories, but I feel so awful for my parents (who really are great people) who are in essence cut out of their son's and two of their grandkids' lives.

[dcn]

Apr 26, 2015 21:24:49 GMT -5 teatimefor2 said:

Apr 26, 2015 20:23:57 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

He's only going for 6 months. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand why your parents would be worried.

My parents, especially my mom, worry. He's military and it is a deployment to the Middle East.

Historically, Jordan has always been a very stable country ruled by a King and his family, however, the country in the last five years has started to see some issues. They have had a huge influx of refugees from neighboring countries, especially Syria as well as Isis. Isis killed one of their pilots if I recall. Additionally tourism used to be one of their chief imports and when we went in Oct 2011, our guide said that everything economically had slowed as tourism was decreasing due to conflicts in the region.

Deployments always come with risk. I don't think it's appropriate to share any real news like that via text, maybe I'm just old fashioned.

I think she was being sarcastic. Of course they would be worried about their son deploying!

He told them in a really shitty way, sorry he seems to be missing that compassionate gene :/

[shellbear09]

Yeah I agree a call would be nicer especially for your parents.

Mine is also about my brother because he didn't bring my daughter a birthday gift at her party this weekend. Also no Christmas gift. I am not a gift person honestly but this is my kid and he is her uncle so I'm annoyed. We did have a conversation awhile ago about not doing gifts anymore for us (adults) but said of course we would for the kids. Fwiw dd is the only kid so far. He doesn't have them yet but is engaged. I think he is has become super self involved since he is wedding planning and buying a house. It's not about the money because he spends on tons of crap so he can afford a little something. Wwyd, I can't say anything right?

[Willis Jackson]

Apr 26, 2015 21:24:49 GMT -5 teatimefor2 said:

Apr 26, 2015 20:23:57 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

He's only going for 6 months. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand why your parents would be worried.

My parents, especially my mom, worry. He's military and it is a deployment to the Middle East.

Historically, Jordan has always been a very stable country ruled by a King and his family, however, the country in the last five years has started to see some issues. They have had a huge influx of refugees from neighboring countries, especially Syria as well as Isis. Isis killed one of their pilots if I recall. Additionally tourism used to be one of their chief imports and when we went in Oct 2011, our guide said that everything economically had slowed as tourism was decreasing due to conflicts in the region.

Deployments always come with risk. I don't think it's appropriate to share any real news like that via text, maybe I'm just old fashioned.

I need to apologize. I brought my experience into this which is dumb because it's nothing like your situation.

My brother is in the foreign service and was stationed in Jordan for several years. His son was born there in 2011. He dealt with so many people (not my parents, thankfully) being omgsoworried because he was living in the omgMiddleEast, while he was sitting in his office drinking lattes and reading BuzzFeed. We all got very tired of it. But obviously being in the military is different and being deployed is very different.

I also come from a family that communicates via email since we're so spread out so I always roll my eyes when people get upset about stuff like that. Again, being deployed is a big deal and this is a time when most people would expect a phone call.

Again, I'm sorry. I was tired and in a snarky mood last night. That was shitty.

[aspentosh]

Sorry you're dealing with that

I already vented about my asshole BIL and SIL on Saturday

My oldest brother is a dick and refuses to be a part of our family. He moved to TX without telling anyone. Mainly because he doesn't really speak to any of us, and no one knows why. He's had a rough hand in life (first wife passed when their son was 6mo old, he was deployed overseas a couple times, etc) but we have always been there for him (my mom and I sorta half raised his son while he was overseas or working crazy hours) and he just cut us out. So I have the thoughtless gene with him, too.

[anna7602]

Apr 26, 2015 20:23:57 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

He's only going for 6 months. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand why your parents would be worried.

I see this as a "know your audience" thing. I didn't tell my parents I was pregnant when I got a BFP shortly before they left for a vacation to Thailand. I just know they would have worried and I didn't want that to impact the enjoyment of their trip. May sound silly to some, but I know how they react to things. I can't even tell them our nanny quit last week because they would be calling me every day right now to see how I've resolved the situation.  

I am guessing from teatime's post that her parents are career worriers and that receiving the news how and when they did was not optimal. It seems weird that her brother wouldn't take that into account if that's how they are. 

[teatimefor2]

Apr 27, 2015 7:26:59 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

Apr 26, 2015 21:24:49 GMT -5 teatimefor2 said:

My parents, especially my mom, worry. He's military and it is a deployment to the Middle East.

Historically, Jordan has always been a very stable country ruled by a King and his family, however, the country in the last five years has started to see some issues. They have had a huge influx of refugees from neighboring countries, especially Syria as well as Isis. Isis killed one of their pilots if I recall. Additionally tourism used to be one of their chief imports and when we went in Oct 2011, our guide said that everything economically had slowed as tourism was decreasing due to conflicts in the region.

Deployments always come with risk. I don't think it's appropriate to share any real news like that via text, maybe I'm just old fashioned.

I need to apologize. I brought my experience into this which is dumb because it's nothing like your situation.

My brother is in the foreign service and was stationed in Jordan for several years. His son was born there in 2011. He dealt with so many people (not my parents, thankfully) being omgsoworried because he was living in the omgMiddleEast, while he was sitting in his office drinking lattes and reading BuzzFeed. We all got very tired of it. But obviously being in the military is different and being deployed is very different.

I also come from a family that communicates via email since we're so spread out so I always roll my eyes when people get upset about stuff like that. Again, being deployed is a big deal and this is a time when most people would expect a phone call.

Again, I'm sorry. I was tired and in a snarky mood last night. That was shitty.

No harm, no foul.  I'll be honest, I'm not fussed about it.  And Jordan is pretty safe.  But it's more my parents I was concerned about.  He was in Kuwait a few years ago and all the pictures were of him BBQing and swimming, but apparently he was nearly shot by a nine year old.  It's part of life when you join the military and it's well known, but my parents, especially my mom, fret.

My Dad called him, per my mom, yesterday afternoon and I guess it's all okay.

We have have bad night.  I hope you having a better day today.