Home maintenance and a happy (or not) marriage

[Pom]

I made a mistake.

I let my husband talk me in to buying a paint sprayer and painting our 270' of wrought iron fence.  I TOLD HIM THAT ONCE THE WIND STARTS BLOWING OUTSIDE TO STOP.  I TOLD HIM TO PAINT DOWN AT THE FAR END OF THE YARD, AWAY FROM THE HOUSE .  He didn't, he started at the front.  Close to the house.  There is now black paint on the side of our pale yellow stucco house.

The quote we got to paint the fence was $1600 but it's from a year and a half ago when they were painting HOA fence.

I am guess it will be $2-3k to paint it and fix the house.

H wants to fix the house and finish the fence.

WWYD.

[bugandbibs]

The damage is done now. I'd have him finish the fence and re-spray the house next weekend. You should be able to just paint the back of the house unless you want to change colors.

Try to let it go. I know I would fume and stew, but that's probably not healthy in the long run.

[my3bears]

UGHHHHH!!! Husbands!!

DH has often accused me of being overly critical. So the past few years I've tried keeping my mouth shut while he does something obviously wrong. Then he realizes it's wrong and is all, "Why didn't you say something??" You can't win.

We've resorted a lot to letting professionals do things, even things we could do ourselves. It's for the greater benefit of our relationship!

[Pom]

We have so much other shit to be concerned with, I guess I need to let this go. I needed to type this out so I wouldn't scream.

I will only hire professionals from now on. The end.

[orangeblossom]

Sounds like something my DH would do. I'm sorry, I would be so annoyed. Pissed, actually.

I'd give him a timeline to finish it. If he doesn't meet it, you call somebody to fix it.

Why don't they realize, it's not a case of wanting to be right, but rather thinking further down the line that xyz might happen vs. them getting caught up in the details of getting it done right then and there.

[compassrose]

Oh, I think you should go somewhere and scream!
Just not at him. Let him fix it. It will be a giant PITA but it's his due punishment.

Just go shopping or to the gym or a friend's while he does.

[orangeblossom]

I seriously cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me. It especially grates my nerves when it costs us more money in the long run, than if he'd taken my advice.

[konapoppy]

Ugh I am so sorry. What a pain. Hopefully he also sees the error in his ways.

[pumpkin]

haha, I remember projects like this. Sometimes you just can't win; you can't tell them beforehand and you can't tell them afterward. Hopefully he 'learned' something and you two can agree on a reasonable plan to correct this

[babsbunny]

I would ignore it and let him fix it. To me, it's not even an inconvenience so it's not nearly as bad as when people take on projects that impact daily life. (Sometimes DH will start a project and then expect me to help, even when he didn't ask me if that's how I wanted to spend my weekend.)

Is there something in the air? DH is also randomly outside doing home improvement projects.

[ddi741]

This is totally something I would do. I tried to be helpful and paint our porch once. It was a mess and there was paint all over the brick.

I would let him finish the fence and then assess the house. Theoretically you should just be able to repaint the part that has the fence paint on it and hopefully not have the paint the whole house.

[hamster]

My new favorite phrase is "i've got a guy."

[yentl]

Having just painted stucco... ugh. I would be so mad. It's the biggest pita. I don't know if it would be easier with a sprayer but I hope so.

I would make him finish the fence and fix the house. It would be more painful for him than just hiring it out and I'm spiteful like that.

[Deleted]

Ugh that reminds me of the time when I was married and my husband tried to install a ceiling fan and ended up putting his foot through the ceiling

[MixedBerryJam]

May 3, 2015 15:43:22 GMT -5 Pom said:

We have so much other shit to be concerned with, I guess I need to let this go. I needed to type this out so I wouldn't scream.

I will only hire professionals from now on. The end.

I wouldn't bet on that, actually, You have a husband who has an almost-new paint sprayer. I'm thinking he's going to find another project or two to use it on. Condolences. Will you be able to cover the black paint with yellow house paint? I hope it covers in one (or two) coats. Good luck!

[Deleted]

Ohhh. I'd be so mad. I'd have him fish the project and attempt to fix the house paint himself.

[Deleted]

This is something I would do. :-#

I'd try to let it go.

[thatgirl2478]

LOL - this is TOTALLY something my husband would do too! I would have him finish the fence and then repaint the house....

[mskitkat]

There are times when I'm really annoyed that my opposite of handy DH insists on hiring almost everything out, but then I read stories like this and laugh. I'm no help. The only reason I wouldn't do the same thing is I spend way too much of my time spraying paint.

[Cicero]

May 3, 2015 20:46:33 GMT -5 @juno said:

May 3, 2015 20:32:49 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

This is something I would do. :-#

I'd try to let it go.

Haha, I had the same thought!!  Luckily DH goes easy on me.

Tritto. I told H I wanted to stain our screened in porch. The next weekend I came home to find a painter out there doing it.

ETA: In retrospect I'm happy he did that. It took the pro a day and a half to finish. It probably would have taken me a week.

[oswin]

Let him finish the fence and fix the house. I've had a number of poor experiences with contactors, so if you do hire someone, make sure it's with a couple of good recommendations. And the way we budget, we would probably agree that if one of us had messed up like this costing us extra money, that money would come out of our individual fun money.

[Pom]

Thanks guys. It helps to know we are not alone in our clashes and mishaps.

I have just vowed not to look at it. He found paint to match (well except that the paint on the house is 7 years old) and it's not in an area where anyone will likely notice it but me. The wind and the weather will fade it out to match I hope.

We have so much other drama right now with my parents being ill, FIL tax stuff, handling FIL's estate, and his memorial coming up, I just said fuckit, I can't go ape shit crazy over this too.

He's going to finish this project and patching the house and then I will put the sprayer out by the road with a free sign on it.

[aspentosh]

That sucks Pom

I think this is a good lesson for being careful. Hopefully he sees that and will remember that next time he wants to do something.

That being said, H and I try most home improvement stuff on our own first before hiring out. We've yet to find something we can't handle (electricity and plumbing aside). But we plan it out and are CAREFUL.

[emilyinchile]

With this kind of thing, I feel like a compromise is to say that it ("it" in this case being fence done and house fixed) needs to happen by X date. However it happens - a bit each day, paying professionals, staying up all night on the last day to finish - is up to H. I will not nag, criticize or otherwise get involved between now and X, but if we get to the day after X without it being done, there will be hell to pay.

[Pom]

May 4, 2015 9:45:24 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

That sucks Pom

I think this is a good lesson for being careful. Hopefully he sees that and will remember that next time he wants to do something.

That being said, H and I try most home improvement stuff on our own first before hiring out. We've yet to find something we can't handle (electricity and plumbing aside). But we plan it out and are CAREFUL.

LOL.

His intentions are good but he is like the king of Murphy's Law.  This is why I called it my mistake. 

Most recently:
-He borrowed the neighbor's power washer and it fell in our pool.  So we bought a new power washer for our neighbor friends but luckily the one that went in the pool still works.   He is no longer allowed to borrow anything.

-We have a trailer to haul our golf cart to the beach.  He decides to go get pea gravel for a project with said trailer instead of having it delivered for $100.  Too much weight, blows new tire: $96.   Had to unload weight to the back of truck move the trailer. This wasted about 4 hours of a busy Monday morning.  Ugh.  

I am not sure if I can attribute this to lack of common sense or what.  Did I mention he is an engineer and equipment specialist? :::head/desk:::   I am grateful he seems to be extremely proficient at his career.  The FAILS are clearly saved up for our home life.

[Deleted]

This sounds like when I told my husband you can't mulch infinite amounts of leaves into the grass because the grass will die. He didn't listen and we have been battling patches of dead grass ever since. Sigh. That is on our list of things we just need to pay a pro to fix.

[patbutcher]

Just preparing you all for the exact same post next Monday from me. H has decided he wants to build a pergola in the back yard. This involves digging 4ft down, concrete posts then the actual wood structure.
he is not a measure twice, cut once kind of guy. At the old house, I asked him to put up some shelves and the walls consequently looked that they had been riddled with bullets.

This will not end well.

Paint at least can be repainted.

[mich1]

I'm feeling incredibly lucky in that SO realizes when something is out of his realm and hires it out.

For instance, last summer we had new quartz countertops and a backsplash put in. While we had to take the sink out, we bought a new one and replaced all the appendages to it (HW faucet and garbage disposal as well as faucet). He figured he'd do it himself, so he started dismantling it. After he got everything apart and they came in to replace the counters, he decided that to reinstall everything was just too difficult so called a plumber to attach everything back up and set the new sink. Best $500 he ever spent

[Pom]

May 4, 2015 10:36:03 GMT -5 @foodielicious said:

May 4, 2015 10:24:51 GMT -5 Pom said:

I am not sure if I can attribute this to lack of common sense or what.  Did I mention he is an engineer and equipment specialist? :::head/desk:::   I am grateful he seems to be extremely proficient at his career.  The FAILS are clearly saved up for our home life.

Lol Pom on a regular basis I wonder if you and I are married to the same man.

I find myself asking "how do you get this stuff done at work?!!?!?" on a regular basis.  A big part of Mr. Foodie's job is scheduling and budgeting, but at home yeah no.  The simplest list making is just insurmountable.

Honestly all of these things are the kinds of things I did as a kid. My parents have stories galore, but I feel like that's when you're *supposed* to do stupid crap so by the time you get to our age, you have worked out the kinks and can do life better.  Mr. Foodie is still learning as he goes correction - making mistakes.

eta:  I made the correction because it presupposed that a lesson was learned never to be repeated, but unless everything happens exactly the same way next time, there is no extrapolation of learning.  e.g. oh but that happened with pea gravel, this is a pallet of bricks!!

You guys are totally making me feel better.  Sometimes I think I am alone scratching my head with his craziness. I grew up on a farm and my dad had NO TOLERANCE for not thinking things out ahead of time.  LOL.  After knowing FIL, I get why this might not have been any part of Mr. P's upbringing.  Oh well, I married him.  He is the only person I can quickly forgive and I also believe this is the universe is trying to teach me patience.   Good luck to the rest of you embarking on home projects with your SO. Report back.