parents of teens

[curtains]

My dd is driving me crazy. She is "good" by traditional standards but it would be so amazing to have other teen parents here to whine to.

Some days I wish I could just be suesue and be my dds best friend, and all when she needs it most. Host her friends with all the perfect snacks. And not care a bit if they wreck the house.

Not sure what I am looking for. But I hope I can learn enough through this crazy phase to type out meaningful posts in 10 years that can be of some use for someone here.

[lulu13]

Sounds rough. How old is your DD?

[curtains]

She is 14

[bugandbibs]

My oldest is 12, but I work with teens. I'm happy to commiserate.

[lime]

I don't have kids, so I can only imagine how hard this is.

Can I ask what she does to drive you crazy? It seemed like my mom and I got in fights when I was in HS by simply being in the same room.

[curtains]

May 4, 2015 21:01:05 GMT -5 bugandbibs said:

My oldest is 12, but I work with teens. I'm happy to commiserate.

Commiserate with me!! Wth happens to these kids? My kid was honor roll, obedient, happy and suddenly she is sullen and emotional.

It sounds so cliche, but honestly she was so great and now she fights everything I say. I could ask her of she wanted all the money and electronics in the world and I really think she would say no just to be oppositional. Uhg.

[hulley]

My DD is 16. It gets marginally better as she gets older. 14 was rough. 15 was worse. 16 os about 60/40 good/bad.

Any particular annoyances? Or just general? I get the general, truly. There are some days I count the seconds until DH walks in the door because DD is like that girl in the Stouffers mac n cheese commercial that has the long-ass stories that drive me batty!

[nsl]

I don't have teens yet myself, but I've taught high school for almost a decade and know just how frustrating and wonderful teens can be. Fourteen is pretty awful, IME, as is 15. Sixteen and up starts to get better, at least in the sense that they're more focused and can sustain mature thinking for longer stretches before doing something idiotic again.

[penelope]

It does get better. My son is 15 and I finally like him again.

Too bad my youngest is 12 and just starting the phase...

[hulley]

May 4, 2015 21:06:35 GMT -5 curtains said:

May 4, 2015 21:01:05 GMT -5 bugandbibs said:

My oldest is 12, but I work with teens. I'm happy to commiserate.

Commiserate with me!! Wth happens to these kids? My kid was honor roll, obedient, happy and suddenly she is sullen and emotional.

It sounds so cliche, but honestly she was so great and now she fights everything I say. I could ask her of she wanted all the money and electronics in the world and I really think she would say no just to be oppositional. Uhg.

Oh, I get that all the time! I swear, on some days I could tell this child the sky was blue and she'd argue it's cerulean. And the "I knoooow!!" After everything I say. And the always needing to have the last word.

Could it be hormonal? DD is especially like this when she's PMSing and/or has her period.

[compassrose]

Oh, I'm the evil stepmother, so everything I do is wrong. SS13 either ignores us or is put out by having to do anything other than play on his computer and SS15 is righteously offended by most things I say. I still remember the fit he threw at 13 because I had the temerity to ask him to brush his hair.

But then they have these lovely, mature moments in between (like the very sweet and thoughtful apology note I got for the above fit).

[kiminky]

May 4, 2015 21:12:02 GMT -5 curtains said:

May 4, 2015 21:04:29 GMT -5 lime said:

I don't have kids, so I can only imagine how hard this is.

Can I ask what she does to drive you crazy? It seemed like my mom and I got in fights when I was in HS by simply being in the same room.

Yup. Same room = fight

We are both quick to apologize after the fight and "hug it out". But I am old and at a point that I don't want to fight before the hug it out part.

Her emotions are all over the place. I can't keep up.

I think what she is doing is normal. But damn, if I am being honest I think she is bipolar.

I need a parent of teen ivillage.

Parent of a 16 y/o DD chiming in. Emotional roller coasters seem to be handed out when they started high school or something. It is exhausting/frustrating/confusing.

[kiminky]

May 4, 2015 21:18:03 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Omg. I hated my kids at that age. I was pretty restrained in discipline, but sometimes it was all I could take. God they thought they knew everything; which would be fine, except they also were sure I knew absolutely nothing. GOD the snark. You have my complete and utter sympathy. I bit my tongue clean off some days.

THE SNARK! Yes, that too.

[prettyinpink]

I'm not a mom but 80% of my day is spent with 14 and 15 year olds. The SNARK is the worst! And some days they are nice and normal and other's its like OMG who are you and where is the nice kid I knew yesterday!

[curtains]

May 4, 2015 21:24:05 GMT -5 prettyinpink said:

I'm not a mom but 80% of my day is spent with 14 and 15 year olds. The SNARK is the worst! And some days they are nice and normal and other's its like OMG who are you and where is the nice kid I knew yesterday!

Yes!!!

[bugandbibs]

Dude, the hormones! The mood swings and eye rolls!

J didn't talk until she was 3. She needed interventions. Well, she is making up for lost time. It's a never ending chat fest complete with hand gestures. Please stop acting out the funny videos you saw on you tube. For the love of God, please!

J is still a really good kid, but she's exhausting. She always wants more.

[compassrose]

I just keep reminding myself at that age they see the world in complete black and white. And if you say anything that disagrees with their worldview (like bringing up a memory they don't recall of how they used to like/hate something), it shakes their whole foundation and brings on the righteous indignation. Because if they are ever wrong about anything, they might be wrong about ANYTHING, and the world will crumble. O.M.G.

[CurlyQ284]

SD1 doesn't get emotional but she has snark down. Doesn't help that she has had an attitude since the age of five gone unchecked by dad (not sure what goes on at mom's house, I think she checks it more but it doesn't mean much when it's basically allowed here...thanks DH).

It makes me ragey.

[2boys2danes]

I have an almost 15 and 15.5 YO boys…they are generally great to be around but what gets me is the 'muttering under the breath as they walk away:…could wring their necks when that happens!

[W.T.Faulkner]

I spend most of my day with fifteen year-olds. I get whip lash from the mood swings. It's all hormonal, honestly. They are beasts at this age.

[kiminky]

May 4, 2015 21:28:21 GMT -5 bugandbibs said:

Dude, the hormones! The mood swings and eye rolls!

J didn't talk until she was 3. She needed interventions. Well, she is making up for lost time. It's a never ending chat fest complete with hand gestures. Please stop acting out the funny videos you saw on you tube. For the love of God, please!

J is still a really good kid, but she's exhausting. She always wants more.

Yes! I don't want to try to follow some incomprehensible (to me) funny thing you saw on YouTube.

Sent from my SM-G900P using proboards

[nsl]

OMG, this reminds me of the kid who dramatically flounced out of my class this morning to get a tardy slip from the office like he has had to get every.time.he.has.been.tardy.all.year because it wasn't FAIR and this morning was SHIT.

Tomorrow he's going to be the sweet, hilarious person he will doubtless normalize into on a more permanent basis once he grows up a bit. Today he was a Grade A asshole. Fifteen is HARD.

[curtains]

May 4, 2015 21:38:52 GMT -5 nsl said:

OMG, this reminds me of the kid who dramatically flounced out of my class this morning to get a tardy slip from the office like he has had to get every.time.he.has.been.tardy.all.year because it wasn't FAIR and this morning was SHIT.

Tomorrow he's going to be the sweet, hilarious person he will doubtless normalize into on a more permanent basis once he ogrows up a bit. Today he was a Grade A asshole. Fifteen is HARD.

Is my kid your student?

[nsl]

May 4, 2015 21:41:27 GMT -5 curtains said:

May 4, 2015 21:38:52 GMT -5 nsl said:

OMG, this reminds me of the kid who dramatically flounced out of my class this morning to get a tardy slip from the office like he has had to get every.time.he.has.been.tardy.all.year because it wasn't FAIR and this morning was SHIT.

Tomorrow he's going to be the sweet, hilarious person he will doubtless normalize into on a more permanent basis once he ogrows up a bit. Today he was a Grade A asshole. Fifteen is HARD.

Is my kid your student?

I hope not, because if he is I spent at least five minutes laughing myself silly over his ridiculousness as soon as class was dismissed.  Dear God, I love them, but teenagers are totally absurd.

[lime]

I'll just say that 14 was the hardest for me, in terms of hormones and mood swings. It was like I was struggling to not be a kid but I couldn't be mature yet either. (I am not sure that makes sense?)

I felt less volatile by the time I was 15. That year made a huge difference.

[W.T.Faulkner]

"Ms. WTF, I am not doing this work. Don't even give it to me. Why don't you let me switch seats? I hate this seat! I'm not doing anything today!"

(Five minutes pass)

"Ms. Wtf, did I get this one right? Can I share this one when we discuss our answers?"

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

[compassrose]

Oh, or how SS13 literally tackled me and pushed me out of the banquet hall because I asked to take a picture of him with his friends after his swim banquet this weekend.

[curtains]

May 4, 2015 21:44:58 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

"Ms. WTF, I am not doing this work. Don't even give it to me. Why don't you let me switch seats? I hate this seat! I'm not doing anything today!"

(Five minutes pass)

"Ms. Wtf, did I get this one right? Can I share this one when we discuss our answers?"

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Lol!! Yes!

[W.T.Faulkner]

May 4, 2015 21:46:16 GMT -5 curtains said:

May 4, 2015 21:44:58 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

"Ms. WTF, I am not doing this work. Don't even give it to me. Why don't you let me switch seats? I hate this seat! I'm not doing anything today!"

(Five minutes pass)

"Ms. Wtf, did I get this one right? Can I share this one when we discuss our answers?"

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Lol!! Yes!

I am not exaggerating when I say this happens every morning with one kid in the front of my class. It's unreal!! 

[prettyinpink]

May 4, 2015 21:32:11 GMT -5 2boys2danes said:

I have an almost 15 and 15.5 YO boys…they are generally great to be around but what gets me is the 'muttering under the breath as they walk away:…could wring their necks when that happens!

OMG YES! I have students who do this. Or say crap to get a reaction and then when they don't get the reaction they want say something even worse.

And the "You PROMISE?" that I get from my male students in this 5 year old way makes me CRAZY!