Casual Racism I Deal with as Asian Woman in Interracial rela

[iammalcolmx]

This makes me want to throw things. She shouldn't have to deal with that shit. People suck.

[Deleted]

Look, I don't take that kind of shit personally but I do think it's my job to let people, especially white people know when they have stepped out of line. Because you see, some people of various color will just keep on keeping on when white folks say something stupid. Other people of color will bust you up.

I'm trying to save lives here.

On a serious note though, it's education. Am I personally offended when someone gets a historical fact wrong? Nope. Not in the least. But in the interest of passing on correct information, I have no qualms about saying, uhm no, that wasn't the way it worked. So I have no qualms about saying, uhm, you realize that's an incredibly racist thing to say, right? So how about you not say it again, like ever? Okay?

[Deleted]

And the thing is, you don't even have to lecture people full time to get your point across.

Something as simple as, right, because all Asians like the same things with a good eyeroll is often incredibly effective.

[iammalcolmx]

May 6, 2015 10:29:26 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Look, I don't take that kind of shit personally but I do think it's my job to let people, especially white people know when they have stepped out of line. Because you see, some people of various color will just keep on keeping on when white folks say something stupid. Other people of color will bust you up.

I'm trying to save lives here.

On a serious note though, it's education. Am I personally offended when someone gets a historical fact wrong? Nope. Not in the least. But in the interest of passing on correct information, I have no qualms about saying, uhm no, that wasn't the way it worked. So I have no qualms about saying, uhm, you realize that's an incredibly racist thing to say, right? So how about you not say it again, like ever? Okay?

[cville]

May 6, 2015 10:31:56 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

And the thing is, you don't even have to lecture people full time to get your point across.

Something as simple as, right, because all Asians like the same things with a good eyeroll is often incredibly effective.

I've done that with anti woman stuff I've had the pleasure of overhearing and it's remarkably effective and easy to pull off. Sometimes assholes will then argue "oh it was a joke" and then I say "uh huh, that's right" just like En Vogue in My Lovin' and walk away. Ha.

[Deleted]

I hate the "it was a joke" reply. My retort for that one is always, Jokes are supposed to be funny.

[Deleted]

And by all that is holy, stop asking non-white folks what nationality they are. Fucking hell. It's not a polite way of asking people "what" they are. It's a douchey way of othering people under the guise of curiosity.

[iammalcolmx]

May 6, 2015 10:46:37 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

And by all that is holy, stop asking non-white folks what nationality they are. Fucking hell. It's not a polite way of asking people "what" they are. It's a douchey way of othering people under the guise of curiosity.

Don't Black people ask you this too? I really need a tan and so does pennypenny

[Deleted]

May 6, 2015 11:21:46 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

May 6, 2015 10:46:37 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

And by all that is holy, stop asking non-white folks what nationality they are. Fucking hell. It's not a polite way of asking people "what" they are. It's a douchey way of othering people under the guise of curiosity.

Don't Black people ask you this too? I really need a tan and so does pennypenny

Yup! They are often the worst offenders too. Like white folks ask and don't expect you to tell. Black folks when they ask demand to know.

Oh, which one of your parents is black? OH! I knew it! I can totally tell when someone was raised by a black mama. Oh, your dad is black? That's how you got that good hair.

[iammalcolmx]

May 6, 2015 11:26:22 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

May 6, 2015 11:21:46 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

Don't Black people ask you this too? I really need a tan and so does pennypenny

Yup! They are often the worst offenders too. Like white folks ask and don't expect you to tell. Black folks when they ask demand to know.

Oh, which one of your parents is black? OH! I knew it! I can totally tell when someone was raised by a black mama. Oh, your dad is black? That's how you got that good hair.

[meshaliuknits]

May 6, 2015 11:21:46 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

May 6, 2015 10:46:37 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

And by all that is holy, stop asking non-white folks what nationality they are. Fucking hell. It's not a polite way of asking people "what" they are. It's a douchey way of othering people under the guise of curiosity.

Don't Black people ask you this too? I really need a tan and so does pennypenny

God yes. "You're black & what? Asian? Mexican?" I'm told the eyes throw people off.

Though I admit to being somewhat impressed when someone asks H if BabyLiu's mama is black when they're out alone.

[iammalcolmx]

May 6, 2015 12:21:16 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

May 6, 2015 11:21:46 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

Don't Black people ask you this too? I really need a tan and so does pennypenny

Yes. And I am not THAT light. Ok apparently I am but I never realized it until that light girls documentary. But yes, I get asked where I am from all the damn time. Um, DC/MD. Ok well no, where are your parents from. Um, DC. DC all the way back to NC, then Africa. What do you want from me? And my name doesn't help. People assume I am Hispanic. You wouldn't believe how many times people come up to me and start speaking Spanish. I don't understand you.

You have heard me say how Ethiopians think I am lying about not being Ethiopian. I will be sure to update when I am in East Africa this July.

[NitaX]

May 6, 2015 12:21:16 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

May 6, 2015 11:21:46 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

Don't Black people ask you this too? I really need a tan and so does pennypenny

Yes. And I am not THAT light. Ok apparently I am but I never realized it until that light girls documentary. But yes, I get asked where I am from all the damn time. Um, DC/MD. Ok well no, where are your parents from. Um, DC. DC all the way back to NC, then Africa. What do you want from me? And my name doesn't help. People assume I am Hispanic. You wouldn't believe how many times people come up to me and start speaking Spanish. I don't understand you.

It's a good thing this doesn't happen to me. Because my sarcastic ass would immediately say "Africa and Massa." Keep on fuckin' with me if you want. 

[iammalcolmx]

May 6, 2015 12:36:46 GMT -5 @mx said:

iammalcolmx what airline did you decide to fly? If you end up on Ethiopian I want to hear about it! I'll give you all the tips about how to release grandmothers who have inadvertently trapped themselves in the lavatories.

Why do people feel entitled to know where others people are from or what their ethnicity is? Like, how does it matter to anyone? What are you going to do with that information about a practical stranger. And why do you not care about other people's feelings???

Lufthansa to see summer and then Turkish to see the family.

[iammalcolmx]

May 6, 2015 12:39:50 GMT -5 NitaX said:

May 6, 2015 12:21:16 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

Yes. And I am not THAT light. Ok apparently I am but I never realized it until that light girls documentary. But yes, I get asked where I am from all the damn time. Um, DC/MD. Ok well no, where are your parents from. Um, DC. DC all the way back to NC, then Africa. What do you want from me? And my name doesn't help. People assume I am Hispanic. You wouldn't believe how many times people come up to me and start speaking Spanish. I don't understand you.

It's a good thing this doesn't happen to me. Because my sarcastic ass would immediately say "Africa and Massa." Keep on fuckin' with me if you want. 

You know I say that right?

[Deleted]

May 6, 2015 12:57:25 GMT -5 mryrcn said:

pennypenny and I have a mutual friend that is married to a Filipino. She is white and her kids are brown. The Asian women at the nail salon interrogated her daughter one day. They didn't believe that was her mom. Asked her who she looked like.

If this were me, I'd be a smart ass for sure. Like @nitax

Also, in the south we do like to ask "where you are from" or "who's your daddy" because we like to form a connection.

Yeah but you can totes tell the difference between people wanting to know if you grew up in Effingham County and people who want to know what color your mama is.

[mx27]

thanks for sharing this article @soudesafinado!

[sushi]

My Asian language instructor also had mentioned people speaking to her in Spanish. Also in the dc area. There's absolutely no confusing her for anything but se Asian

[bugandbibs]

May 6, 2015 22:36:33 GMT -5 sushi said:

My Asian language instructor also had mentioned people speaking to her in Spanish. Also in the dc area. There's absolutely no confusing her for anything but se Asian

I'm SE Asian and people mistake me for Hispanic all.the.time. Apparently Asians can't be tall and have boobs.