Wwsnd: niece running out of money

[Deleted]

Niece, 14, has literally been buying anything and everything. Granted, she worked hard for this money and earned every cent of it.

We've told them every morning how much the activities and transit costs will be, but she still keeps spending. Mostly on trinkets and small things.

Most of the activities we have left are free, but there are 2 more things that will cost a little money. I know she's going to run out of money before they go. I'm not concerned about the older one at all.

For their last 4 days we'll have about £40 worth of activities to do. If the younger one runs out of money, do I pay for her, does she stay at home while the older one and I go do stuff or does she ask her mom for money to cover her last days?

Fwiw, we've paid for a few meals out, their HP tickets and all of their theater tickets. We'll still take them for 1 more dinner.

I messaged H's sister and she was like I'll talk to the younger one, and that has happened, but the spending still hasn't really subsided.

Wwsnd?

[tacocat]

I would ask mom what she wanted me to do (if I could afford to cover/be reimbursed). O

[Deleted]

May 16, 2015 2:26:30 GMT -5 tacocat said:

I would ask mom what she wanted me to do (if I could afford to cover/be reimbursed). O

Covering the money isn't the issue, so I guess I will ask her Mom.

H says that his sister will probably tell us that if she's been spending on trinkets and crap then she doesn't get to do the last 2 activities.

I think I'm just extra tired and cranky, so I'm irritated by everything right now. 

[tacocat]

I get it, I'm sorry

If you want to do that, do it. I'm also tired and cranky.

[MrsPotatohead]

I think the whole point of her having a set amount would be to teach her about budgeting. Maybe this experience will make her understand?

I don't think it should feel like a punishment, more like you and your H split up - one goes to a free thing (park) and the other takes the oldest to the $ activity. Obviously you should talk to her parents, but that would be my approach.

[Deleted]

May 16, 2015 8:07:26 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

I think the whole point of her having a set amount would be to teach her about budgeting. Maybe this experience will make her understand?

I don't think it should feel like a punishment, more like you and your H split up - one goes to a free thing (park) and the other takes the oldest to the $ activity. Obviously you should talk to her parents, but that would be my approach.

H leaves on a work trip at 6am Monday morning, so it would be either both or neither if the younger one runs out of money before then.

[MrsPotatohead]

May 16, 2015 8:34:25 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

May 16, 2015 8:07:26 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

I think the whole point of her having a set amount would be to teach her about budgeting. Maybe this experience will make her understand?

I don't think it should feel like a punishment, more like you and your H split up - one goes to a free thing (park) and the other takes the oldest to the $ activity. Obviously you should talk to her parents, but that would be my approach.

H leaves on a work trip at 6am Monday morning, so it would be either both or neither if the younger one runs out of money before then.

do they both understand this? What does the older one think?

[Deleted]

May 16, 2015 8:41:42 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

May 16, 2015 8:34:25 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

H leaves on a work trip at 6am Monday morning, so it would be either both or neither if the younger one runs out of money before then.

do they both understand this? What does the older one think?

I mean, I told them, but I don't know if the younger one gets it.

The older one doesn't seem that bothered by it.

Ugh, maybe I shouldn't let it bother me if it's not bothering them. Dammit. I really wanted to go to tea on Monday too.

[theoriginalbean]

Is it possible to have her pull out the amount of $$ needed for the last few activities and have you hold onto it? Then she wouldn't be tempted to spend it.

[MrsPotatohead]

May 16, 2015 8:56:43 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

May 16, 2015 8:41:42 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

do they both understand this? What does the older one think?

I mean, I told them, but I don't know if the younger one gets it.

The older one doesn't seem that bothered by it.

Ugh, maybe I shouldn't let it bother me if it's not bothering them. Dammit. I really wanted to go to tea on Monday too.

LOL I'm sorry.

If it was something I wanted to do I would have constantly been telling my younger sister to watch her money. She listened to me though

[Deleted]

May 16, 2015 9:11:47 GMT -5 theoriginalbean said:

Is it possible to have her pull out the amount of $$ needed for the last few activities and have you hold onto it? Then she wouldn't be tempted to spend it.

I'll ask h to ask them. I still don't know them well enough to ask.

[Deleted]

May 16, 2015 9:12:40 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

May 16, 2015 8:56:43 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

I mean, I told them, but I don't know if the younger one gets it.

The older one doesn't seem that bothered by it.

Ugh, maybe I shouldn't let it bother me if it's not bothering them. Dammit. I really wanted to go to tea on Monday too.

LOL I'm sorry.

If it was something I wanted to do I would have constantly been telling my younger sister to watch her money. She listened to me though

Yeah, the younger one is a free spirit in her own world.

Like at the natural history Museum, she just spent £10 on this little crystal tree. I mean to each his own, but dude, come on. Maybe I don't remember what it's really like to be 14.

[georgeharrison]

Could you forego the activities and let the older one decide what she wants to do with the money she has left over? Like maybe the older one would like to go shopping. You can still take the younger one along, she just wouldn't be able to buy anything. How interested are they in the activities that you have left? Maybe they wouldn't mind missing the last two activities.

IF the older one really wants to go, I'd pay for the younger. I would mention it to the mom and let her decide if she wants to pay you back. I would think that she would make the younger girl work for the money at home and send it to you later.

[Deleted]

May 16, 2015 9:46:29 GMT -5 georgeharrison said:

Could you forego the activities and let the older one decide what she wants to do with the money she has left over? Like maybe the older one would like to go shopping. You can still take the younger one along, she just wouldn't be able to buy anything. How interested are they in the activities that you have left? Maybe they wouldn't mind missing the last two activities.

IF the older one really wants to go, I'd pay for the younger. I would mention it to the mom and let her decide if she wants to pay you back. I would think that she would make the younger girl work for the money at home and send it to you later.

Yeah, I think you're right. We'll just have a come to jesus meeting when h gets home and figure out how much money they have left and what they want to do in their last 3 days.

[MrsPotatohead]

May 16, 2015 9:18:20 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

May 16, 2015 9:12:40 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

LOL I'm sorry.

If it was something I wanted to do I would have constantly been telling my younger sister to watch her money. She listened to me though

Yeah, the younger one is a free spirit in her own world.

Like at the natural history Museum, she just spent £10 on this little crystal tree. I mean to each his own, but dude, come on. Maybe I don't remember what it's really like to be 14.

lol I can totally see myself buying something like that when I was younger (probably more like middle school) - I can't explain it, I would just get all excited and obsessed with something. This is a whole new experience for them and maybe even having this much money to just spend however they want is exciting.

The only other thing I could think of is similar to what theoriginalbean said, at least having them count out how much they need for the last activities so they can visualize it. But also, like pp said, do you know they really want to do those things? If it turns out they don't care then I guess that's sort of your answer

I'll have tea with you!!

[georgeharrison]

I'll have tea with you, too...especially if you'll buy when I run out of money.

[Deleted]

MrsPotatohead, lol. Thank you for the reality check. I think I genuinely forgot what it's like to be 14.

They keep saying they're excited to go to tea because the younger one is like ooh and then I'm going to wear this sweater and stuff like that.

That's a good idea to physically make them count out their money so they can see how much is left. I think I'll have them reevaluate their lists of things they want to do too.

[Deleted]

MrsPotatohead and georgeharrison, if you guys come over, I'm more than happy to treat you for tea.

I just don't want to treat you to tea, dinners and lunches out, Harry Potter, and 4 shows if you're going to be buying weird crystal trees.

[mkate710]

I'm terrible. If it were my almost 14 year old niece I would buy her anything she wants and take her to all the things. But, she is a good kid who would know how to spread her money over an entire vacation. Sorry your niece isn't so savvy. You did say they were kinda sheltered, yeah? This is probably a good time for her to learn a little bit about being a grown up in the real world :/

[Deleted]

Ftr, I have zero problems paying for meals and food and the occasional tickets for things. I didn't think about expectations not being set by their mom before the came. I guess I kind of screwed myself too, since I set the presidence for buying some stuff.

Where I feel guilty is that I feel like I *should *be paying for them, but I don't know these kids at all. Like before they came I maybe met them 5 times.

If it was H's other niece that we actually know, I'd buy her any damn thing she wants because I actually know her.

This makes me feel like a terrible person that I'm playing favorites.

[Deleted]

May 16, 2015 12:36:32 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Well, I would just give her money when she runs out. I would lecture her a little though. I would then give cash to the older one to match the funds.

but I also only have one niece who is really cheap... heh.

Note to self, be a niece of kooshball and mkate710. They'll buy you things.

[karebear219]

If it was my own kid I'd be mean but if it was my niece I'd do what koosh said.

[dana86]

I would definitely be torn especially if the last things you guys were doing were things I would want to do as well. If I was looking forward to the activities I might pay for her after she has for sure gone through all her money so she doesn't have leftovers to buy any more junk. But then at the same time if you pay for her to do them, what about the older sister who is still has to pay for herself?

So after saying that I think I would just see what she has left, give the options and once she is out of money she is done. Then she can tag along to the free things and anything else like shopping or whatever can be the fun of the older one who is still able to buy things if she wants.

[toratoratori]

I'm just sitting here thinking about how much money I spent on key chains from Claire's when I was 12. And they all had Eire shit like peace signs and smiley faces on them. Tweens are weird.

[Deleted]

We made the younger one count out her money and she already doesn't have enough to do everything. We talked to H's sister and we all agreed that we'll make her sweat it out a bit, but I'll pay for her (and the older one) to do the last activities, but not tell them until right before we need to go.

lol. I feel a little evil.

[Deleted]

Good, I think that's a good compromise, make her sweat it out a bit. Good budgeting lesson for her!