We are attending an out of town wedding next month. Junior will not be attending the reception. There is a gap between the wedding and reception. I would prefer not to have a sitter for 8 plus hours at the hotel. I see two options
1. Take Jr to the wedding then have a sitter come for the reception only. H is in the wedding so Jr might enjoy seeing this.
2. Skip the ceremony and only go to the reception.
I guess there is the third option of getting a sitter for 8 hours.
I agree with the others that said, if you think he will be ok during the ceremony, then I would bring him. Maybe sit in the back so you can easily slip out if he starts making noise.
How old is junior? I say get up early and let him swim at the hotel in the morning. Then take him to the wedding. With any luck, he will be so tired, he will sleep on your lap through the whole ceremony.
At least, that's what worked for us when we took my 4 yo son to a wedding.
I agree, take him to the ceremony and be ready to jet out of there if he's noisy.
8 hours in a hotel room sounds like hell for both the kid and the sitter. What would they do for that long? Do you know the sitter where you'd be comfortable if she took him somewhere else? If you do, maybe I'd just go with that. If they are going to just be hanging out in the hotel the whole time, I can see trying to shorten it.
I'd skip the ceremony and just attend the reception. If he wasn't invited they may not want children there. Other guests may freak out that there's a kid there not realizing that he's not coming to the reception, etc.
First question.....was Junior invited to the wedding?
He was not invited to the reception. If I do decide to being him I will check with the bride and groom if it is OK.
Explain how he is invited to the wedding then? Unless they have already specified that he IS invited to the ceremony, he isn't. Don't put them in an awkward position of saying yes to you and then having a dozen other people mad at them for not allowing their precious children to attend. You WILL be talked about.
I agree with UnderProtest - if he's not invited to the reception, he's not invited to the ceremony. People who want a kid-free wedding don't want to hear little kid shrieks (even cute ones) in their wedding video. Asking the bride and groom to bend their rule for you puts them in a terribly awkward position, and is bad manners on your part. Don't be "that guest" - get the sitter or skip the ceremony.
If the ceremony is in a big church or venue where you can sit in the back and just run him outside if he gets fussy, then I'd bring him to the ceremony. (Unless he was not invited. But - in my circle, anyway - it's really not a big deal if uninvited guests come to a big church just to watch the ceremony.)
If the ceremony is in a smaller location where any fussing would be obvious, then I'd leave him with the sitter. Or skip the ceremony entirely.
I don't think it's rude to skip a wedding ceremony if you have a good reason, like childcare issues. I don't like it when people skip the ceremony just for shits and giggles, though.
If the ceremony is in a big church or venue where you can sit in the back and just run him outside if he gets fussy, then I'd bring him to the ceremony. (Unless he was not invited. But - in my circle, anyway - it's really not a big deal if uninvited guests come to a big church just to watch the ceremony.)
OK, I have to say, I don't get this. Random people showed up to a wedding I was coordinating once and I kicked them out. It's just weird IMO.
I think that's an olden days thing. When I was little, old ladies who belonged to our church would attend random weddings held there for something to do. I can't imagine popping into a stranger's wedding now. Plus I think it's part of the "church as public building" thing - if people are there for other reasons, it stands to reason that they might see a stranger's wedding. I just don't know why they would want to, lol.
If the ceremony is in a big church or venue where you can sit in the back and just run him outside if he gets fussy, then I'd bring him to the ceremony. (Unless he was not invited. But - in my circle, anyway - it's really not a big deal if uninvited guests come to a big church just to watch the ceremony.)
OK, I have to say, I don't get this. Random people showed up to a wedding I was coordinating once and I kicked them out. It's just weird IMO.
At least at my church, it's a Mass and anyone is welcome to attend if they choose. I think my church/priest would have been mortified if a wedding planner tried to kick someone out of the church.
If the ceremony is in a big church or venue where you can sit in the back and just run him outside if he gets fussy, then I'd bring him to the ceremony. (Unless he was not invited. But - in my circle, anyway - it's really not a big deal if uninvited guests come to a big church just to watch the ceremony.)
OK, I have to say, I don't get this. Random people showed up to a wedding I was coordinating once and I kicked them out. It's just weird IMO.
I had a bunch of uninvited guests at my wedding ceremony - one of my coworkers, my mom's coworkers, someone brought a young granddaughter, etc. It didn't bother me. Most of them sat near the back and nobody did anything to call attention to themselves. I was kind of in the zone anyway and wouldn't have noticed. My church was also HUGE, so there was no way I could've known exactly who was there. I only found out about a lot of them once I got the photos back.
When I was an altar server for weddings (different church, but a similar size), my mom would drive me there and then sit in the back.
And, like kadams767 and dexteroni said, it's not like you can really kick people out of a church. I can totally understand asking random passersby to leave a wedding on a golf course or in a museum or something private like that. Or even a really small church where seating is limited and/or where random people would be a disturbance.
Post by loreleigilmore on May 19, 2015 11:00:11 GMT -5
I had a member of my church attend my wedding and she was not part of our formal guest list. She said she wanted to attend something happy because there had been so many funerals in our church just prior to our wedding. I surely didn't care and I was happy to have her there.
FWIW, I would ask the bride. I would give her an easy out and say that if it's a no child ceremony you fully understand. I have an almost 7 year old who would be fine at a ceremony.
OK, I have to say, I don't get this. Random people showed up to a wedding I was coordinating once and I kicked them out. It's just weird IMO.
I had a bunch of uninvited guests at my wedding ceremony - one of my coworkers, my mom's coworkers, someone brought a young granddaughter, etc. It didn't bother me. Most of them sat near the back and nobody did anything to call attention to themselves. I was kind of in the zone anyway and wouldn't have noticed. My church was also HUGE, so there was no way I could've known exactly who was there. I only found out about a lot of them once I got the photos back.
When I was an altar server for weddings (different church, but a similar size), my mom would drive me there and then sit in the back.
And, like kadams767 and dexteroni said, it's not like you can really kick people out of a church. I can totally understand asking random passersby to leave a wedding on a golf course or in a museum or something private like that. Or even a really small church where seating is limited and/or where random people would be a disturbance.
But you aren't this bride. If she didn't specifically invite this kid, then he isn't invited. It doesn't matter what her reasons or if random people can stop by. Thank you, monsterz for understanding this.
Hmm, maybe I was in the wrong. It wasn't a huge church and the people stuck out as being inappropriately dressed. I asked them politely if they were there for the wedding and they said they were just tourists passing by who wanted to watch the ceremony.
Damned if I can remember who's wedding this was. I think I might have actually been a bridesmaid as well (I've coordinated and been a bridesmaid in a few weddings) which is why I felt confident the couple wouldn't want randoms at the ceremony. Oh well.
Yeah it's really not your (or any wedding coordinator's) place to kick people out of a church. Not the end of the world, just something to keep in mind if you continue to do wedding coordination.
I had a bunch of uninvited guests at my wedding ceremony - one of my coworkers, my mom's coworkers, someone brought a young granddaughter, etc. It didn't bother me. Most of them sat near the back and nobody did anything to call attention to themselves. I was kind of in the zone anyway and wouldn't have noticed. My church was also HUGE, so there was no way I could've known exactly who was there. I only found out about a lot of them once I got the photos back.
When I was an altar server for weddings (different church, but a similar size), my mom would drive me there and then sit in the back.
And, like kadams767 and dexteroni said, it's not like you can really kick people out of a church. I can totally understand asking random passersby to leave a wedding on a golf course or in a museum or something private like that. Or even a really small church where seating is limited and/or where random people would be a disturbance.
But you aren't this bride. If she didn't specifically invite this kid, then he isn't invited. It doesn't matter what her reasons or if random people can stop by. Thank you, monsterz for understanding this.
I'm not saying that it's OK to bring an uninvited guest ... I'm saying that I don't think it's a big deal when people do it. Because there's always someone who chooses to ignore the guest list.
I'm also unclear as to whether the bride told the OP that her kid was welcome at the ceremony. I've known brides/grooms who have had kid-free receptions but they welcomed kids to the ceremony. (Which is a PITA for the parents, for reasons like this.)
Post by penguingrrl on May 19, 2015 11:20:33 GMT -5
We had a few people who weren't invited to the reception come to our ceremony. Some of our college friend's parents understood that we were at the max number for our venue but wanted to wish us well so they decided to attend the ceremony. It was at a huge Catholic church, so it wasn't an intrusion at all. If it's a venue like that I would bring him. At 7 he should be able to sit politely and respectfully through a wedding.
If it's a smaller, more limited venue then I would ask. I used to work at a museum that rented an historic chapel for weddings and there was a very strict 100 person limit due to fire code, so an extra person couldn't be accommodated some of the time.