I'm a teacher and I'm choosing not to renew my contract for an extracurricular position for the next school because of my maternity leave. All I've said to them is that I won't be able to fulfill the responsibilities required. I'm getting a lot of flack and I know once the cat's out of the bag, it will clear up a lot of doubt. I think it sucks that I'm being put into this situation, but people can be vicious. (Case in point: I was questioned for not chaperoning a school event because I was at my brother's graduation.)
I was thinking that approaching my principal would be an ok idea, but was wondering if it's too early...
Post by dearprudence on May 19, 2015 10:30:19 GMT -5
It's always a personal decision. Sometimes it's easier to tell early, no matter the outcome, because your boss understands why you're missing more work than usual. But you have to be prepared that despite best intentions, word can quickly spread to your co-workers, so if you don't want them to know, you might as well wait.
With both my pregnancies I waited to tell until second trimester.
Post by aprilsails on May 19, 2015 10:34:25 GMT -5
I made it to 12 weeks and was planning on going 2 weeks longer but a proposal came up at work where my leave would have an impact on the project schedule. I told my boss immediately so he could take it into account when putting together the bid.
If you are close to your principal and he/she can keep a secret I think it would be OK. Unless you are still going to get a lot of flack from everyone else regardless. Then I'd just wait until 2nd tri or after the NT scan.
FWIW I didn't tell my boss until 16 weeks but I have a regular desk job and my boss is remote.
I told my boss about 9 weeks. He kept it quiet and I had someone who covered for me not drinking at a holiday party and understood when I politely excused myself to throw up during the 1st tri.
However, this is completely dependent on your comfort and your boss.
Since you are a teacher, perhaps tell the principal (or other boss) the last week of school?
I agree that it's a personal decision. I felt comfortable telling my HR person early on, but asked her to keep things to herself until I was ready to tell my bosses one-on-one. I was eventually outed a little early by one of my bosses because she was grilling me on my work (which was difficult to focus my attention on during 24 hr nausea of first tri). I felt I had to come clean. If something had happened, I would have had to tell them anyway because I know I would have needed some personal time so I figured I might as well just spill it.
The day after my bfp. However, I had some complications early that required monitoring every other day for a couple weeks and eventually a paracentesis drain in my abdomen that required a trip to the hospital and interventional radiology. So I needed time off work. Plus, errbody knew we were doing IVF and when my test date was; I was completely open through the whole process.
I'm also a teacher. I can't remember exactly when I told my principal, but it was during 1st tri, before my NT scan. Originally I had told him I was doing fertility treatments because I had to take so much time off for monitoring appointments. Then after I got pregnant, I was still doing weekly ultrasounds with the RE, so I wanted to let him know why I was missing so much work. He kept it quiet though.
It's a personal decision, and it depends on how confortable you feel by tellig them.
In my case, I waited until after the NT scan (12 weeks). I lost a baby at 10 weeks, so I didn't feel comfortable telling earlier. I was able to hide it until then.
I was about 14 weeks pregnant. I was planning on waiting another month or so, because I was waiting to hear what my annual increase would be, but we were having a conversation about my responsibilities come early fall. I could have waited but it would have been weird to not tell him in that moment and initiate the conversation a couple weeks later.
I don't know how far along you are (on the app) or how close you are to your boss, but I wouldn't feel guilty about waiting if that's what you want to do. Everyone will feel silly about giving you grief about it once they know.
Well, I am 20 weeks and going to tell today. We just had the anatomy scan and so I feel a lot more comfortable revealing the news. I have been pretty successful hiding it in my work clothes as they few I have told at work have been surprised. Weekend clothes and t-shirts are another story, so everyone in our personal/family lives has known for awhile.
Post by patches31709 on May 19, 2015 12:35:12 GMT -5
I told my boss around 15 or 16 weeks, but only because we were going public with our Facebook announcement the next day (Valentine's Day), and I didn't want her to hear about it from other coworkers who found out on FB.
A coworker is currently 11 weeks or so. She asked if it was ok to go out for an hour or two during the day last week, and my boss asked if she was pg. She didn't want to lie, so she said yes, but to please keep it quiet as no one knows. Our boss told everyone. I feel so angry for my friend.
I shared really early with a very limited group. I'm a partner, and I was only about 7 weeks when we as a partnership needed to make a hiring decision for next year. I felt I had an obligation to my partners (that I would not have had if I were an associate) to share with them what I knew about our real hiring needs for fall 2015. I asked that they not share any further, and that it was strictly need-to-know at that time. By now most people know (I have very much popped) but I never made an announcement. It has just become more and more casual to talk about.
Post by starburst604 on May 19, 2015 12:57:45 GMT -5
I think I would have waited till 2nd tri, but got outed at 6 weeks when I had to have emergency surgery for my heterotopic pregnancy. Although my bloat bump was so big by 8 weeks I don't think I would have been fooling anyone.
I ended up telling my boss at 8 weeks. I didn't originally plan to tell until after my NT ultrasound but we have some change management going on that I would normally be involved with this summer when I'll be starting mat leave and we were already starting to plan for it when I got my BFP. I couldn't really get involved in it if I wasn't going to be here for a variety of reasons. He kept it to himself until about 10 weeks when he had to let the other VPs in on it. They were good and kept it to themselves until I spilled the beans to coworkers at 12 weeks.
Post by hbomdiggity on May 19, 2015 14:14:48 GMT -5
I was only about 10 weeks I think. I was the only associate on a case destined for trial, so I let the partner know that we prob wanted trial scheduled before June.
Though I'm not happy about the settlement number, it's prob best we settled since I'd otherwise be in trial right now.
I told after my first tri...but to be fair I quit my job and was rehired 8 months later. I told as soon as I was rehired. I work a job the can be harmful to baby in certain situations and telling my boss and staff right away is pretty essential.
Post by brandienee on May 19, 2015 16:10:34 GMT -5
I was super early, because by co workers blabbed. I had to make a phone call during work hours and they overheard the nature of my call. I think I was like 6 weeks. It was annoying. Oh well.