Any tips for keeping a positive attitude?

[steph96]

I have become more and more of a negative person the last few years. I really don't think I was like this before I started this job. I'm really trying to stop it. I'm tired of being such a downer and negative person. Lately I have been making an effort to catch and stop myself when I'm about to say negative things, but sometimes I just can't help it.

Does anyone have any tips on how to be more positive and fun to be around?

@shoegal ?

[tacosforlife]

Have you been applying for new jobs?

It's so clear from all your posts that you need a new job. I think that will be the number 1 thing, honestly.

[Deleted]

I have a little journal, and every night before bed I try to write one positive thing in it. Some are pretty lame, but I try to think of something that made me happy each day to write down.

[magpie]

I try to practice gratitude when I get into a funk. I have a journal that I write in most days and I will make a point to write 5 things, no matter how simple, that I am grateful for daily. I got the idea from this TED talk:

www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en

[winnied]

I used to be a fairly negative person and I have found a number of things really helpful. When reading it, I fully recognize it seems trite but I encourage you to consider them. 

Prayer and/or meditation at the beginning and end of each day - this helps me center myself for the day

Exercise - doesn't have to be anything crazy! I used to run races and now I just take evening walks to clear out my mind

Removing myself from negative situations - do you have a negative friend or family member? Mine was my mother. I love her dearly but we used to speak each day. Now we speak once a week and removing her negativity has helped me a great deal. 

When I was first trying to form the habit of positivity, I wrote three things down that was good about each day. Sometimes it's honestly as silly as "ate a cookie" but it helped me center on the good, and appreciate the small things. 

Good luck! It's hard to get out of a funk but you can do it. I'm here if you want to talk more. 

[leeba25]

I was going to post what magpie wrote! It sounds kooky but it's actually backed by research that it works to get you more positive overall. (Plus the Ted talk is entertaining as hell.)

[Deleted]

Also, if it is work, distance yourself from the negative people as much as possible. This may mean eating lunch alone and skipping happy hours, but there's no need to be around negativity all the time.

At one school where I taught, I quit eating lunch in the teachers' lounge because I was so tired of hearing the other teachers do nothing but complain ALL THE TIME.

[steph96]

I definitely was a lot happier and more positive after my interview with another department! I am hoping to hear back from them pretty soon. I had a second interview a little over a week ago and it went very well. I'm keeping an eye out for other openings, but nothing is appealing. All of the ones that sound interesting would be a HUGE pay cut (which we can't really do) or it is with places that I've already interviewed and don't want to work at. Plus this is the time of year when I'm not really even allowed to take off work so going to interviews would be very difficult I have my fingers crossed really hard for this one job, but I hate feeling like all my eggs are in one basket.

jenny1980 tacosforlife

[Deleted]

steph96, I'm in a similar shitty job situation and I'm aware that my poor mental state is primarily driven by my job. I also live in a small town and have few career options in my field. so I HATE IT when people tell me "find a new job!" Well no shit, I'm trying, okay.

I started seeing a therapist in August. This is primarily in an effort to not dump all of my negativity on my husband and friends. It helps.

I also drink. 2 glasses of wine/ night, tops. But still.

I also exercise. I make this my #1 priority every work day. Sometimes it slides on the weekends, but working up a good sweat makes SUCH a difference in my mental outlook.

[So_Fetch]

May 19, 2015 12:43:39 GMT -5 @bellakitty said:

I have a little journal, and every night before bed I try to write one positive thing in it. Some are pretty lame, but I try to think of something that made me happy each day to write down.

I try to remember to do this in my planner.  at least one thing per day - and it's a small space, so no pressure to come up with more.

[steph96]

Ok it sounds like I definitely need to start writing down the good things that happen! Who knew that something so simple could be so great!

[kathybela]

May 19, 2015 14:22:49 GMT -5 steph96 said:

Ok it sounds like I definitely need to start writing down the good things that happen! Who knew that something so simple could be so great!

I started doing something similar but instead of writing in a book I write on small pieces of paper and put them in what I call my "gratitude" box. During the year if I'm feeling really down I go to the box and pull one out to read and it, surprisingly, makes me feel better. On January 1st each year I sit down and read them all again before emptying the box to start again - this gets the year off to a fabulous, positive start.

[shell403b]

Ditto the cutting out toxic people. I had to do it 10 years ago and I'm in the process of doing it again now (different people, LOL). I also tend to cut those folks off at my work too (some people were born to bitch, IMO).

[niq]

Quit GBCN. I'm only half joking.

The job thing seems like the big one in your situation. It's almost half your waking hours, getting somewhere even tolerable is almost a guaranteed mood boost.

I'm always intrigued by the result that a gratefulness journal helps improve people's outlook, but I've never done anything about it.

[Deleted]

I do what @bellakitty does! Sometimes I have to dig deep for my good highlight of the day (one particularly dark day was something like "I'm not sick, so that's nice.)

The other big thing for me is to be relentlessly grateful and optimistic.

When I get blue, refocusing on what I have / feel good about is so important to me. Work has been bananas recently, but I love so many of my coworkers, and that is an amazing thing.

Being optimistic (I believe) is a choice. It is a lot of what I like about " he who shall not be named" (MMM!)

And time doing the things I love brightens my day like no other.

Hugs if you are feeling down, you have been working through a LOT recently. I hope some of these ideas might help. (((steph96)))

[Deleted]

May 19, 2015 12:48:35 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

Like PP suggested, writing things down can be helpful or saying them out loud (my goal is 2 things I'm grateful for each day). Also, I have found it incredibly helpful to limit my time and interactions with negative people. It's easier to complain when that's all everyone else seems to be doing.

Oh yes this! Negative folks tend to feed off your happiness! No way Jose. Good advice.

[irene adler]

Working out and cutting out negative people/obligations out of my life has done wonders.

When I go out with friends, we have a "5 minutes of whining" policy. We each take five min. To complain about whatever inane crap is bugging us, no judgement. It gives us a chance to whine and complain and get it out. It's very cathartic, and the time limit prevents it from being a whine fest.

[Deleted]

Kind of like kathybela....I started doing my little "write great things down each day" in 2006. So (duh) I now have 9 books to look back on and am working on my 10th right now. About once a month, I'll go through them and share with H what we were doing that month in 2006, 2007, etc etc. It's awesome.

I love the entries that are MMR. "Today we hit $Xk in net worth!" "Started our first joint brokerage account." There are some cute memories that we totally forget until we re-read them in the book: "Saw a baby bunny in our yard and he hopped on H's toe." I mean, c'mon stuff like that just makes you happy yes!?

[treedimensional]

Think about how bright your future is.
Focus on the future and your goals. Focus on what you want to happen.

When people express negativity, it's often a form of misplaced focus. People expressing negativity are frequently complaining about something from the past, that can't change, or verbalizing something they don't want to happen. Think and talk only about what you WANT, not what you don't want. Think and talk about the future, not the past.

[sicilygirl]

I have no advice because I'm terrible about keeping a positive attitude too (also, IMO, mostly fueled by a negative work environment). But I wanted to tell you good luck with your job hunting and trying to maintain a more positive outlook! How's the CPA exam going? I'm sure that's not helping either, if you're still taking it! My H is taking BEC on Tuesday, but he also still has to retake AUD and FAR, and he's been a little down about that lately. I'm hoping you're either finished or almost finished though!

[sporky]

Yoga and meditation.

[livinitup]

Spend some time volunteering at a community center, soup kitchen or hospital. You'll outlook will change dramatically. And don't just do it once. Make a commitment, and really participate.

[adeliepenguin]

For me, the easiest thing to change my mood is do something that I enjoy. It's both so simple and so hard! When I was working (I SAH now), I would eat lunch alone and read a book. I love to read - so it was mood altering to have a little me break during the middle of the day. I also made sure not to do this at my desk. Just that little break made me feel better - and gave me a fresh start for the second part of the day.

[soso]

Exercise (running - which I enjoy) helps me. Also, doing something to change my situation one a week (like reach out to someone on LinkedIn if you are job hunting) works. I agree with therapy and staying away from negative people too.

[steph96]

May 19, 2015 12:51:15 GMT -5 magpie said:

I try to practice gratitude when I get into a funk. I have a journal that I write in most days and I will make a point to write 5 things, no matter how simple, that I am grateful for daily. I got the idea from this TED talk:

www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en

I finally got a chance to watch this video. I loved it. It really cheered me up! Does that guy do a lot of talks like that?

[steph96]

May 21, 2015 8:52:36 GMT -5 sicilygirl said:

I have no advice because I'm terrible about keeping a positive attitude too (also, IMO, mostly fueled by a negative work environment). But I wanted to tell you good luck with your job hunting and trying to maintain a more positive outlook! How's the CPA exam going? I'm sure that's not helping either, if you're still taking it! My H is taking BEC on Tuesday, but he also still has to retake AUD and FAR, and he's been a little down about that lately. I'm hoping you're either finished or almost finished though!

Oh man! Good luck to your husband! I will be getting my audit score back on Wednesday. I'm hoping I passed and will only have REG left to retake.