Post by wanderingenough on May 20, 2015 15:24:27 GMT -5
-There is a leader at my company that I have a great relationship with. We meet about quarterly to shoot the breeze, discuss my career, etc. -He has said previously he wants me on his team someday. -Said leader reaches out to me and asks to get coffee. I suspect it's about a job because I usually initiate our conversations. -He didn't know I was pregnant because I hadn't seen him since last quarter -I go to the meeting and let him mention the job (I was right), before telling him I'm expecting. -I tell him basically Im just mentioning in case he doesn't want to deal with leave, etc. Not that he would realistically (or legally) ever admit that. -A few mins later he does mention how competitive the role would be, but I didn't get any vibe like he was trying to turn me away. -He says he will pass along the role description
Thoughts? Was the mention of the competitiveness his male way of trying to deter me now that he knows I'm pregnant? Or am I reading too much into it?
I don't know. But I am usually one to jump to such conclusions so I'll say he changed his mind once he knew about the pregnancy.
Haha that's what I do, too. Hence the second guessing and post.
I suppose I could have continued to not mention it. How long can you feasibly keep someone in the dark about a pregnancy before they are like "dude, wandering was looking CHUNKY today." Haha
My guess is that he did make the comment in a reaction to your news, but there are many reasons why that may have happened, and it would be hard to pinpoint down.
-Many women don't come back from leave. If you know it's competitive, presumably you would only ask him to stick his neck out for you if you are for sure coming back. -Maybe it was a hint to keep the pregnancy information quiet moving forward so no one else will hold it against you in interviews. -It could have even been an attempt to compliment you and indicate that your news had no bearing on his decision to recommend you, and he was sure you could handle the tough competition.
Regardless, I'd move forward however you feel comfortable, comment and pregnancy aside. (I'm certain this was your plan).
I hate to say it, but it could potentially be a factor here in why he commented the way he did. He really shouldn't have said anything after you mentioned that. I'm assuming you guys have a formal application process online, correct? If so, I would apply for the position if you are still interested. He can't technially use it against you.
Post by wanderingenough on May 20, 2015 16:18:28 GMT -5
Yeah, MrsMB, we do have a formal process, but at the end of the day it's his decision...so I have to consider whether it's worth rocking the boat if he would select someone else because of these factors (whether consciously or not).
The timing on all this couldn't be worse. If it was 6 months ago, I wouldn't think twice. Now though...I'm honestly not even sure I'd apply. That's a lot of change in a short period. I know the devil I'm in bed with right now.