Open Letter Time

[Deleted]

Dear Food Service Industry Co-Workers,

Holidays are busy as fuck times in our industry. Yes, we would all love to have the day off, go to the beach, etc. BUT YOU WORK IN FOOD SERVICE! So work your fucking shifts and stop playing like any of us are thrilled to be working that day either. NO ONE WANTS YOUR SHIFT!

Also, those of us who can work Friday ARE working Friday, yanno, on account of it being busy as fuck so again, no one wants your shift, not even so you can attend your third cousin's graduation or do your baby mama's best friend's uncle's cousins makeup for the 8th grade prom.

Thank you!!

Unrelated but 8th grade prom? Isn't that just a dance?

The fuck, yo???

[pixy0stix]

Dear family,

For once in your lives, don't fuck this up for me? Ok? Ok.

[josieposy]

8th grade prom? That's a thing?

[orangeblossom]

Dear DH,

I wish you were this interestrd in the house, when it was on the market. You are getting on my last nerve, with the Spanish inquisition every day. Also, I do know what I'm talking about. I don't know why it takes someone else saying the same thing, as me to get you to do said thing.

I'm over it.

[orangeblossom]

Dear Future Tenants,

We are good landlords, and this is a great neighborhood. Please come soon.

[winecat]

Dear Vinyl Company-
Yes, I know my budget is small. It would have been nice for you to say no 6 weeks ago vs today. Now I'm fucked, thank you very much.

[Deleted]

Dear @soudesafinado,

You stop talking about my man like that. You see me dismissing your lovah's hard work and success??

Then you hush it. YOU HEAR ME?? Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrap!

[cookiemdough]

May 21, 2015 10:48:18 GMT -5 @soudesafinado said:

Dear headaches:

You are coming more and more frequently. Stop it.

Doctor?

[katfco]

Dear students,
School isn't out until next week. Please for once, just sit down and stop smacking each other.

[MrsAxilla]

May 21, 2015 10:40:38 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Dear family,

For once in your lives, don't fuck this up for me? Ok? Ok.

I liked this because it sounds like something good is going on, but then I felt awkward - lol.

[MrsAxilla]

Dear Rain Rain -

Go away! Come again another day!

Like in August. Wait. No. I'm traveling a lot in August and if my basement floods one more fucking time.... especially if I'm not home!  How about July?

[pixy0stix]

May 21, 2015 15:19:46 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

May 21, 2015 10:40:38 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Dear family,

For once in your lives, don't fuck this up for me? Ok? Ok.

I liked this because it sounds like something good is going on, but then I felt awkward - lol.

We're buying my gpa's house.

[MrsAxilla]

May 21, 2015 15:23:04 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

May 21, 2015 15:19:46 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

I liked this because it sounds like something good is going on, but then I felt awkward - lol.

We're buying my gpa's house.

Yay!  Congrats!  Still up north?

[orangeblossom]

Dear Birds,

SHUT UP! Or at least find a different place to chirp that's nog over my chimney.

[pixy0stix]

May 21, 2015 15:28:00 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

May 21, 2015 15:23:04 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

We're buying my gpa's house.

Yay!  Congrats!  Still up north?

Yup, still in FoCo.

[blink]

Dear coworker:

Stop acting all surprised and sympathetic when I tell you I'm working all damn day. Who the fuck else would be working since you refuse to do more than 3 hours a day?

[aurora]

Dear George Martin,

Please write the last 2 books already. It's getting harder and harder to avoid spoilers from the show. You should know your fans want to read the books first.

-aurora

[tacosforlife]

Dear Slow as Fuck Government Bureaucracy:

Please approve my transfer by May 29 so I don't have to come back to DC for June. It's going to be 66 degrees the day I move into Milwaukee. I don't want to leave that.



Dear Gynecologist:

Please have magic hands and make the removal of Mirena and insertion of a new one as painless as possible.



Dear Cats:

Please don't meow the entire drive to Milwaukee.



Dear Landlords:

We have been awesome tenants and taken great care of this house. Please done fuck us over with our security deposit.



Love,
tacos

[MrsAxilla]

May 21, 2015 15:32:56 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

Dear Slow as Fuck Government Bureaucracy:

Please approve my transfer by May 29 so I don't have to come back to DC for June. It's going to be 66 degrees the day I move into Milwaukee. I don't want to leave that.



Dear Gynecologist:

Please have magic hands and make the removal of Mirena and insertion of a new one as painless as possible.



Dear Cats:

Please don't meow the entire drive to Milwaukee.



Dear Landlords:

We have been awesome tenants and taken great care of this house. Please done fuck us over with our security deposit.



Love,
tacos

Take four Advil first.  Or half a pain killer if you have one laying around.  Oh hell - take both and have a marg!  That'll do it for sure.

[tacosforlife]

MrsAxilla, I have like 3 half tabs of H's Ativan lying around. I always tense up like whoa at the gyn, so I am contemplating those. Maybe if I can just relax, it won't be so bad.

[ChillyMcFreeze]

Dear committee member,

It's obvious you've never read the minutes of these meetings before, but now that your name is in them you want to pitch a hissy. I'm not writing them to pander to your vanity, I'm writing them to convey information.

[tacosforlife]

pennypenny, where do you want to go?

[Deleted]

Dear sunshine,

I miss you. Please come back.

[mominatrix]

Dear Fitbit:

I know I take more steps than you say I do.

Liar.

[tacosforlife]

May 21, 2015 16:13:01 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

May 21, 2015 15:49:54 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

pennypenny, where do you want to go?

Belga. A guy I work with knows the owners so he said when I want to go he will make sure they hook me up. He is always raving about it.

Ah, that is one of the few places on Barracks Row I haven't tried. You'll have to report back.

I feel like I'm getting a pretty even trade on food. There are definitely some places I'm going to miss, but there are also some great places I'm looking forward to frequenting.

[Skyesthelimit1212]

Dear Hand,

Please stop putting food into my mouth. You need to have more control!

[SwimDeep]

Darling H,

This is a nice long holiday weekend...can we please stop talking about the budget that you gave barely two shits about when I was the only one with a job? Can we please just try to rest together and reconnect?
It'd be really nice...especially considering it's our anniversary.

You're increasingly disconnected wife...
sd

[SwimDeep]

Dear CE&P,
Please don't let my open letter be the last one in this thread!
sd

[meshaliuknits]

May 21, 2015 15:32:56 GMT -5 tacosforlife said:

Dear Slow as Fuck Government Bureaucracy:

Please approve my transfer by May 29 so I don't have to come back to DC for June. It's going to be 66 degrees the day I move into Milwaukee. I don't want to leave that.



Dear Gynecologist:

Please have magic hands and make the removal of Mirena and insertion of a new one as painless as possible.



Dear Cats:

Please don't meow the entire drive to Milwaukee.



Dear Landlords:

We have been awesome tenants and taken great care of this house. Please done fuck us over with our security deposit.



Love,
tacos

No dice.

[meshaliuknits]

Dear coworkers-

Do you even look at what you send me? I know I'm the system expert, but really, look. You'll figure out the answer.



Dear empty box I report to-

Try to be filled with someone who doesn't suck and won't want to fire me just because my contributions aren't immediately apparent.