Gym Daycare Expectations

[bullsgirl]

Until a few weeks ago I belonged to a gym with the best daycare. DD (10 months) loved going there. They always had someone one on one with her. She was always smiling at drop off at pick up, so I had pretty much no guilt taking her with me 2-3 times per week. But, the gym was extremely expensive and when DH and I looked at the budget last month to tighten things up, we decided to cut it back to the much cheaper string of YMCA in our area.

So far I have tried to take her to 2 different YMCAs in our area, and the childcare experiences have been pretty bad. She cries every time I drop her off, which I know if normal, but a lot of times she is still crying when I pick her up, and they tell me she has been crying on and off, or her eyes are red. One time I stayed and peeked around the corner and I saw the girl just put her on the floor (while crying hysterically) and walk off. She didn't try to give her toys to entertain herself or anything. I just took her and left. Yesterday we went to a smaller location and it was just DD and one attendant, a youngish girl. The girl strapped her in a high chair with some toys in front of her, and then sat down at a table near her and started coloring. This is a 20ish year old girl sitting and coloring while my DD sat there crying. Again, I took her and left.

I am so frustrated with this, because exercising is pretty much the only thing I do for me. H's work schedule makes it tough to work out when he is home, not impossible, just much less convenient. Are my expectations for gym daycare too high? Should I keep trying the Y and hope she just starts enjoying it more? Would I be justified in talking to the management about the quality of the daycare, or is that completely crazy? Any advice is appreciated here.

[VillainV]

I would talk to the management about the second scenario at least. In a one-on-one setting, there is zero excuse for the caregiver to "contain" your child and then ignore her while she cries.

I know gym daycare is usually more like "baby sitting" than enriching/educating like a real daycare, but if I hired a teenage/college babysitter and found out they ignored my child while she cried, I wouldn't use them anymore.

[jsillyfun]

Not acceptable. I used to work in a gym daycare and we were expected to interact with and play with the kids at all times.

[shellbear09]

I don't have very high expectations for gym daycare but I would be upset if they just put her down crying and walked away as soon as you dropped off. I think it is worth mentioning to mgmt. but I'm not sure how they would handle it.

I have taken my dd to the Y daycare a few times in the past and she sometimes cried alot but at least she was being held when I got there. Also hopefully your dd will get more comfortable and I would keep trying.

[bullsgirl]

The 2nd situation was the one where I was considering talking to management. It just seemed ridiculous to me. Glad I am not way off on this.

[kershnic]

If the staff are not attending to other kids they should absolutely be doing something to try to calm and/or entertain your daughter. If you believe this is a pattern then yes I would speak to the management.

On the flip side, your daughter was comfortable at your old gym because she was used to it. She's right at a point where I'd expect anxiety over a new place and strange caregivers to kick in. If the staff either have other kids to attend to or are overwhelmed with intense fussiness I can see how they might not be as attentive as you'd like.

[sh10]

I would talk to the management at the second gym, but I wouldn't expect them to do much. The employees get paid about $8 per hour and the management usually understaffs them during the summer when they need to staff up. The management doesn't really care much, at least in my area. I teach at two gyms and DS goes to daycare at both, so I'm friendly with the staff and they tell me a lot of these things.

I'm not sure if you have a little time to stay during drop off and try to find her toys and tell the staff what she likes. I did that in the beginning when DS was really small. Our daycare staff is about to have 100% turnover so I'm sure I'll have to do it again soon.

To be honest, I probably would have said something myself to the girl in the second situation. That is crazy she would just let her cry and do her own thing. I might have said, "She'll stop crying faster if you play with her", not to confrontational but enough to let her know you aren't pleased with how she's caring for your DD.

[bullsgirl]

May 22, 2015 10:20:15 GMT -5 kershnic said:

If the staff are not attending to other kids they should absolutely be doing something to try to calm and/or entertain your daughter. If you believe this is a pattern then yes I would speak to the management.

On the flip side, your daughter was comfortable at your old gym because she was used to it. She's right at a point where I'd expect anxiety over a new place and strange caregivers to kick in. If the staff either have other kids to attend to or are overwhelmed with intense fussiness I can see how they might not be as attentive as you'd like.

Yeah, I definitely see this side of it, especially in the busier gym. I know she is going to have some separation anxiety. I am going to give it a few more tries before I say anything, and will probably never say anything at the busier gym. At the place where she was the only one there though, that kind of disregard for her is hard to justify.

[sh10]

Oh and one thing I've done, I sort of try to bribe the staff a little. Like I sometimes take in muffins or ask them about their weekend and stuff like that. I think building a rapport with them makes them more likely to take care of my kid first if there are multiple kids crying.

[laurack]

it's been hit or miss with my Y daycare. sometimes william cries a lot and they come get me. Sometimes he's fine.

I think they hold him if he's crying then as long as the children are happy they set them down. I usually am bringing him on a saturday morning though and it's busy.

my 3 year old does fine, she just heads off and starts coloring or something.

if the child is crying and they are just ignoring the child, that's pretty strange. I mean who can just sit there peacefully while children cry?? makes no sense.

if the child is happy though I understand them being hands off/not trying too hard given that they are paid like shit I'm sure.

[bullsgirl]

May 22, 2015 10:32:06 GMT -5 sh10 said:

I would talk to the management at the second gym, but I wouldn't expect them to do much. The employees get paid about $8 per hour and the management usually understaffs them during the summer when they need to staff up. The management doesn't really care much, at least in my area. I teach at two gyms and DS goes to daycare at both, so I'm friendly with the staff and they tell me a lot of these things.

I'm not sure if you have a little time to stay during drop off and try to find her toys and tell the staff what she likes. I did that in the beginning when DS was really small. Our daycare staff is about to have 100% turnover so I'm sure I'll have to do it again soon.

To be honest, I probably would have said something myself to the girl in the second situation. That is crazy she would just let her cry and do her own thing. I might have said, "She'll stop crying faster if you play with her", not to confrontational but enough to let her know you aren't pleased with how she's caring for your DD.

This is a very interesting perspective!

In the smaller gym they let me sit with her for a minute and play, but as soon as I left the girl moved her to the high chair. I peeked in the window after about 5 minutes and she was already in there. At the larger branch they don't let you go behind the gate.

[mushmouse]

Do you know anyone who belongs to any of the locations you're checking out? All of that is unacceptable but I think some days might be better than others because some of the caretakers are, well, better than others. I think I'd rule out the place with the highchair - children aren't eating meals there, there is no reason to strap them into something. I go to a Y that's more expensive than most of the other gyms because the child care is so incredibly good. But when I first started going one day he was not happy, had a big tantrum and the 2 girls there acted like they had absolutely no idea what was wrong with him. I didn't mind that they called me to get him but I was disturbed that they didn't know what a 2 year old tantrum could possibly be! I never saw either one of them there again. Maybe you could do a trial in one of them and check out different days? I hope you find something.

[mushmouse]

I forgot to say - if you can't find someplace else that works for you then maybe the cutting the budget needs to happen in another area. The gym was the ONLY place I had to leave him and I needed a place that worked. NEEDED.

[scribellesam]

I would not be happy with this. I've had a really good experience with the gym childcare at our local Y, but I'm sure it varies by branch. I do not think your expectations are at all unreasonable.

At mine, they let the kids cry for 15-20 min before they come get you. They do try to contain the babies to some degree, but I understand because there are usually 2-3 workers and sometimes twice that many not-mobile babies in the infant room during peak times. I've seen workers pacing with a fussy baby in each arm, though, so your workers are definitely not making the grade here.