Newborn sleep help

[jln]

B was born Monday morning and we've been home for 3 nights.  I have no clue how to get him to sleep at night.  Last night was the worst night we've had so far.  He rooted and wimpered every 20 - 30 minutes.  He'd latch on, then fall asleep after a few minutes.  I'd put him back in the RnP, then he'd root and wimper again.  This went on from 11pm to 4am.  He was nursing at least 30 minutes until my milk came in, now he only nurses 6-8 minutes at a time. 

I finally decided to just snuggle him in the bed and he latched on and fell asleep for over an hour that way.  I do enjoy snuggling and co-sleeping at nap time but at bedtime it makes me nervous and I just don't sleep well.   

Of course this morning he napped in his bouncer for 2 hours.  Then ate for 8 minutes, I put him in the RnP and he fell right asleep.

Tonight I'm going to try to sleep in his room (we have a queen bed in there) and have him sleep swaddled in the crib.  

Any advice?  I don't know if this is him having his days and nights confused or something else.  I'm deliriously tired and would like to figure out a game plan for night times.  

[linz]

DS had days and nights mixed up for awhile in the beginning. It sucks but you just power thru. Are you willing to try a pacifier? I EP'd so mine got bottles but DS always would need to suck in order to fall asleep at night. Once he started sleeping longer stretches he wanted nothing to do with it.

[anaps28]

Hugs
The first 4 weeks of DS2s life he slept on my chest. I was sitting up with pillows under my arms. I didn't really sleep much. Try a paci but sometimes they just need to work out the night time situation. Hang in there

[Deleted]

At this little, there really is not much you can do besides sleep when he sleeps. The first 4 weeks were pretty much survival mode for us, after that we worked on the days/nights thing slowly and it got better. Hang in there!

[anna7602]

There's really no distinction between nap time and bed time this early in the game. Try to be easy on yourself and don't try to plan on things falling into a certain pattern yet.

And know that even once they get their days & nights sorted out, they will still do maddening things every once in a while like take a 3-hour nap during the day with no notice and then wake every 2 hours that same night to feed.

[carolinagirl831]

My dd is almost 4 weeks old... She was the same way. I felt so sleep deprived the first two weeks! Basically she wan it happy unless we were holding her or she was nursing all night long! It finally got better in the last week now she is sleeping in her rnp and giving us 4 hour stretches. Hang in there!

[krystee]

Big hugs. The good news is that a week from now it will be significantly better and a week from then even better. Have you tried pumping so your H can take some feedings and you can get some solid rest?

[jln]

May 22, 2015 13:25:16 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

Sleep during the day when he sleeps.

I so wish I could.  But I also have a 3 year old.  Who, of course, had zero sleep issues.  He slept in predictable 3 hour increments from birth.  But he was also on formula so that definitely helped.  

[nmosrob]

This has been me the majority of dd's 3 weeks. I met with a LC yesterday who gave me a bit of a different feeding style. While I still get short sleeps between nighttime feedings, I was able to put her down and go to sleep myself, instead of waiting for every noise thinking she was about to wake up.
After feeding I'm to turn her head, cover myself up so she doesn't smell me, and keep my hand on her head, still, no stroking or anything. I'm to keep her there for at least 15 minutes, and when she's officially 'out' (no movements, the slower breathing that from afar I have to check and make sure she's breathing), then I can put her down. It's a pain, because in those 15 minutes I'm struggling to stay awake, but it is working. Granted it's just been one night, but I'll take it!
I looked through the paperwork she gave me, there was something on a hormone called cholecystokinin (CCK). It's like a sleep hormone, it kicks in as soon as you're done feeding, when you think they're asleep, then it goes back to zero 10 minutes later, when they'll wake up, but then goes back up 20 minutes later (30 after feeding) which is when their deep sleep will be. At night I don't think I could hold her for 30 minutes before putting her down, but 15-20 seems to work. 

Hang in there!

[ssmjlm]

May 22, 2015 17:43:52 GMT -5 nmosrob said:

This has been me the majority of dd's 3 weeks. I met with a LC yesterday who gave me a bit of a different feeding style. While I still get short sleeps between nighttime feedings, I was able to put her down and go to sleep myself, instead of waiting for every noise thinking she was about to wake up.
After feeding I'm to turn her head, cover myself up so she doesn't smell me, and keep my hand on her head, still, no stroking or anything. I'm to keep her there for at least 15 minutes, and when she's officially 'out' (no movements, the slower breathing that from afar I have to check and make sure she's breathing), then I can put her down. It's a pain, because in those 15 minutes I'm struggling to stay awake, but it is working. Granted it's just been one night, but I'll take it!
I looked through the paperwork she gave me, there was something on a hormone called cholecystokinin (CCK). It's like a sleep hormone, it kicks in as soon as you're done feeding, when you think they're asleep, then it goes back to zero 10 minutes later, when they'll wake up, but then goes back up 20 minutes later (30 after feeding) which is when their deep sleep will be. At night I don't think I could hold her for 30 minutes before putting her down, but 15-20 seems to work. 

Hang in there!

This sounds awful. Why in the world would a professional give you advice like that at 3w when your milk is still being established and that is through skin to skin and feeding, etc.

OP can your DH help during the day? Have you tried different holds to get LO to feed longer?

[nmosrob]

May 22, 2015 18:40:17 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

May 22, 2015 17:43:52 GMT -5 nmosrob said:

This sounds awful. Why in the world would a professional give you advice like that at 3w when your milk is still being established and that is through skin to skin and feeding, etc.

OP can your DH help during the day? Have you tried different holds to get LO to feed longer?

She wasn't discouraging skin to skin or feeding, not sure if I said that? The waiting method was specifically for putting her down to sleep. She did say otherwise to baby wear after feeding, and skip the whole waiting deal. I still feed on command, which is just about every 2 hours. Maybe this method was just to save my nipples until I get her tongue tie and upper lip tie (which no one found or even looked for but her) fixed. 

I'm a FTM, still learning everything, I'm open ears to any/all advice. 

[jln]

May 22, 2015 17:42:46 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

May 22, 2015 17:13:43 GMT -5 jln said:

I so wish I could.  But I also have a 3 year old.  Who, of course, had zero sleep issues.  He slept in predictable 3 hour increments from birth.  But he was also on formula so that definitely helped.  

That makes it so hard. Is the 3yo in daycare? Can anyone come help you?

He's not in daycare.  But my MIL has offered to help so hopefully next week she'll be able to take him during the days so I can sleep.

[jln]

ssmjlm I haven't tried different holds. I'll give that a try tonight and see if it helps.

[sillygoosegirl]

My baby was like this for the better part of 2-3 months: would only sleep at night if she was touching me or DH, ideally with my nipple in her mouth. Poor little girl didn't know yet that we were different people, I think.

[jln]

Thanks for the support. I forgot how freaking hard this part was. I guess DS1 was my "easy" baby, I just didn't realize how easy he was at the time.

[greycat]

May 23, 2015 1:41:31 GMT -5 jln said:

Thanks for the support. I forgot how freaking hard this part was. I guess DS1 was my "easy" baby, I just didn't realize how easy he was at the time.

My mom said she didn't realize how easy I was until she had my brother.

Hang in there, this will pass. MOTN posts kept me sane when DS was up a ton at night. Also anticipating that I would be up a lot helped. It sounds silly but mentally preparing definitely helped me be less frustrated.

[jln]

We actually had a good night. I came up with a "plan" with DH to mentally prepare myself. I realized that B doesn't like the velcro swaddles so I loosely swaddled him in his AA blanket with one hand out and he slept great in his RnP.

He woke about every 1.5 to hours to eat but went back to sleep quickly. I actually feel like I got some sleep and semi human again.

[undecidedowl]

May 22, 2015 18:40:17 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

May 22, 2015 17:43:52 GMT -5 nmosrob said:

This has been me the majority of dd's 3 weeks. I met with a LC yesterday who gave me a bit of a different feeding style. While I still get short sleeps between nighttime feedings, I was able to put her down and go to sleep myself, instead of waiting for every noise thinking she was about to wake up.
After feeding I'm to turn her head, cover myself up so she doesn't smell me, and keep my hand on her head, still, no stroking or anything. I'm to keep her there for at least 15 minutes, and when she's officially 'out' (no movements, the slower breathing that from afar I have to check and make sure she's breathing), then I can put her down. It's a pain, because in those 15 minutes I'm struggling to stay awake, but it is working. Granted it's just been one night, but I'll take it!
I looked through the paperwork she gave me, there was something on a hormone called cholecystokinin (CCK). It's like a sleep hormone, it kicks in as soon as you're done feeding, when you think they're asleep, then it goes back to zero 10 minutes later, when they'll wake up, but then goes back up 20 minutes later (30 after feeding) which is when their deep sleep will be. At night I don't think I could hold her for 30 minutes before putting her down, but 15-20 seems to work. 

Hang in there!

This sounds awful. Why in the world would a professional give you advice like that at 3w when your milk is still being established and that is through skin to skin and feeding, etc.

OP can your DH help during the day? Have you tried different holds to get LO to feed longer?

nmosrob I think you are saying this is just for nighttime when you're trying to get them asleep enough to set down. You do it instead of feeding and then setting them down right away because even though they look asleep they would wake right back up. It's what I always did with my boys and it worked great for us. 

During the day, it's all about skin to skin and lots of nursing. At night, it's survival.

[nmosrob]

May 23, 2015 8:14:33 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

May 22, 2015 18:40:17 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

This sounds awful. Why in the world would a professional give you advice like that at 3w when your milk is still being established and that is through skin to skin and feeding, etc.

OP can your DH help during the day? Have you tried different holds to get LO to feed longer?

nmosrob I think you are saying this is just for nighttime when you're trying to get them asleep enough to set down. You do it instead of feeding and then setting them down right away because even though they look asleep they would wake right back up. It's what I always did with my boys and it worked great for us. 

During the day, it's all about skin to skin and lots of nursing. At night, it's survival.

Yes, that's what I was trying to say
Although I was too quick to say it, as it didn't work as well if at all last night. Maybe I'll try the one arm out, I'm grasping at straws.

[starburst604]

May 23, 2015 9:25:29 GMT -5 nmosrob said:

May 23, 2015 8:14:33 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

nmosrob I think you are saying this is just for nighttime when you're trying to get them asleep enough to set down. You do it instead of feeding and then setting them down right away because even though they look asleep they would wake right back up. It's what I always did with my boys and it worked great for us. 

During the day, it's all about skin to skin and lots of nursing. At night, it's survival.

Yes, that's what I was trying to say
Although I was too quick to say it, as it didn't work as well if at all last night. Maybe I'll try the one arm out, I'm grasping at straws.

I found this method interesting to read about. During the really rough cluster feedings I've found that if I hand off to my H and he soothes her, often she will nod off. Then I jokingly don't come too close because I don't want her to "smell" me. It's like when she's near me she just thinks BOOB but with him she's like oh ok, sleep.

Hang in there OP, I am just shy of 3 weeks into this and haven't found a solution. I just take it night by night at this point and remind myself that this too shall pass. You are doing great! I have been experimenting with different holds the last couple of days, it seems my milk is letting down very fast and choking her so I've been reclining back instead of sitting straight so the flow doesn't gush so quickly into her little mouth and it's helping. Less screaming and beating on my boob.

[MrsAggie]

It's unfortunately normal for newborns to be awake more at night. That's when breastmilk's fat content is its highest so they nurse more often. Any chance you can just sleep during his naps during the days?