s/o Rude or BEC

[pistolshrimp]

Kind of a s/o from @wandering post yesterday.

My BF and I live together. He receives an invite today for a friend's wedding. The RSVP card is addressed to "Pistolshrimp's BF &" not "& Pistolshrimp" or "& guest" just "&" What do you do in this case?

Update below

[ginger]

They're frazeled and forgot your name. The "&" seems like you're definitely invited.

ETA: Forgot your name, meant to look it up, forgot, and it got stuck in the ready to mail pile.

[1confused1]

I think I would have your bf call and ask.

[pistolshrimp]

May 22, 2015 17:39:21 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I think I would have your bf call and ask.

This would be the logical thing to do, but he's Mr. Non-Confrontation. LOL

And the other thing, it's hand-written, not printed. I think it's an "&" but maybe its not? I'm hesitating because I've never met the couple before so I'm not sure.

[1confused1]

May 22, 2015 17:40:38 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

May 22, 2015 17:39:21 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I think I would have your bf call and ask.

This would be the logical thing to do, but he's Mr. Non-Confrontation. LOL

This isn't a confrontation.

[pistolshrimp]

May 22, 2015 17:42:26 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

May 22, 2015 17:40:38 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

This would be the logical thing to do, but he's Mr. Non-Confrontation. LOL

This isn't a confrontation.

I know, but he's kind of socially awkward so I don't think he'd ever ask.

I probably just won't go, but I thought I'd get the board opinion after yesterday's post.

[koopa17]

Lol that you're just not gonna go. They forgot your name and meant to add it later, and accidentally sent it without. Just go.

[hopecounts]

It was a goof. It was meant to be BF & Pistolshrimp but they forgot for whatever reason.

[motzie]

So it was half blank? Maybe they set it aside to double check your name and it got sent prematurely?

[Alyssa]

Since there's an "&" I would feel safe to assume they meant for your name to be there.

[pistolshrimp]

You all are probably right... if you can't tell, I'm equally as socially awkward. We're a good match

[eb777888]

I think they just forgot to add your name among a pile of invites. I'd probably send a text if I were him. I take an ampersand as an invite (don't kill me Sue Sue).

[pistolshrimp]

Update: Surprisingly, BF asked and no, I was not invited.

I know this sounds really stupid, but I'm kinda hurt. The logical side of me is like, yeah you've never met this person it's no big deal. But this is the third wedding since we've been together that he has been invited to and I have not. It just really sucks. His whole group of friends (close friends since high school) will be going with significant others while BF goes alone and I'm not invited. I know this is a dumb example, but sometimes I really feel left out with this group.

Sorry, I'm having a PMS pity party. LOL

[ProfessorArtNerd]

That is rude as hell

[Deleted]

Legit question - do these "close friends" of your BF know you exist?? Because if they do, that is one large collection of rank assholes.

[venice2007]

What the hell is the "&" for then?

[Eagles]

Wait, you haven't been invited to three weddings? These people are rude as shit. You are right to be hurt.

[elleblue]

May 24, 2015 19:33:05 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Legit question - do these "close friends" of your BF know you exist?? Because if they do, that is one large collection of rank assholes.

May 24, 2015 19:34:25 GMT -5 venice2007 said:

What the hell is the "&" for then?

So rude, so tacky. I have major fremdschämen for those jerks. 

[thejen626]

May 24, 2015 19:24:09 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

Update: Surprisingly, BF asked and no, I was not invited.

I know this sounds really stupid, but I'm kinda hurt. The logical side of me is like, yeah you've never met this person it's no big deal. But this is the third wedding since we've been together that he has been invited to and I have not. It just really sucks. His whole group of friends (close friends since high school) will be going with significant others while BF goes alone and I'm not invited. I know this is a dumb example, but sometimes I really feel left out with this group.

Sorry, I'm having a PMS pity party. LOL

That's really fucking rude of them.

As an aside, we got a wedding gift and on the card it said "to Michael and Sarah" and Sarah was crossed out and "Jennifer" written underneath it. From DH's very sweet aunt. Lol

[Deleted]

May 24, 2015 19:36:32 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

I'm sorry. I don't blame you for being hurt.

Why have you never met his close friends though? I'm not saying that makes it justified, but maybe that has something to do with their reasoning.

I feel like this could quickly devolve into that Sex & the City episode about secret significant others.

[pistolshrimp]

May 24, 2015 19:33:05 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Legit question - do these "close friends" of your BF know you exist?? Because if they do, that is one large collection of rank assholes.

Yes. The bride and groom are not close friends with my BF, but they are close with the rest of the people in his group of friends. They all went to high school together (super tiny town) and the bride and my BF work together. My BF is really good about including me in things, but I just can't seem to break into this group and its starting to kind of bother me. Like I said, they are all close from high school and I just kind of feel like an outsider. We've had numerous get-togethers at our home, BF owns a lake house and we've hosted people there. I don't know. Like I said, pity party of one. 

[pistolshrimp]

May 24, 2015 19:43:16 GMT -5 Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear said:

May 24, 2015 19:41:28 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

Yes. The bride and groom are not close friends with my BF, but they are close with the rest of the people in his group of friends. They all went to high school together (super tiny town) and the bride and my BF work together. My BF is really good about including me in things, but I just can't seem to break into this group and its starting to kind of bother me. Like I said, they are all close from high school and I just kind of feel like an outsider. We've had numerous get-togethers at our home, BF owns a lake house and we've hosted people there. I don't know. Like I said, pity party of one. 

So you've met all these other people but not the bridal couple? 

Yes

[atlas]

Wait a second.

Your BF got an invitation addressed to "Firstname Lastname &" and you AREN't invited?

Ummm, yeah. Rude AF.

The pity party is well deserved because that bride and groom are etiquette dumb.

[wysiwyg]

May 24, 2015 19:41:28 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

May 24, 2015 19:33:05 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Legit question - do these "close friends" of your BF know you exist?? Because if they do, that is one large collection of rank assholes.

Yes. The bride and groom are not close friends with my BF, but they are close with the rest of the people in his group of friends. They all went to high school together (super tiny town) and the bride and my BF work together. My BF is really good about including me in things, but I just can't seem to break into this group and its starting to kind of bother me. Like I said, they are all close from high school and I just kind of feel like an outsider. We've had numerous get-togethers at our home, BF owns a lake house and we've hosted people there. I don't know. Like I said, pity party of one. 

So, it's not that they don't know you, it's that you are purposely being excluded.

What a bunch of assholes. Sorry they are doing this. You have every right to be hurt.

[Eagles]

May 24, 2015 19:40:48 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

May 24, 2015 19:37:33 GMT -5 thejen626 said:

That's really fucking rude of them.

As an aside, we got a wedding gift and on the card it said "to Michael and Sarah" and Sarah was crossed out and "Jennifer" written underneath it. From DH's very sweet aunt. Lol

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

Awkward.

So, who is Sarah?

I have a cousin who consistently calls H by my exBF's name. I broke up with that guy more than 7 years ago and have been with H for almost 5. It's equal parts hilarious and weird.

[Deleted]

So why does your BF continue to hang out with people who actively exclude you?

[ECB]

Your bf needs to do a little reflection here and determine why he wants to go. 3 weddings and you've never been invited?! That's just out and out rude.

[pistolshrimp]

May 24, 2015 19:47:39 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

So why does your BF continue to hang out with people who actively exclude you?

He doesn't hang out with the bride and groom, but they have mutual friends so are sometimes at the same events and BF also works with the bride. To be honest, I'm not really sure why BF was even invited, probably because all of the mutual friends were invited.

So yes, I know I'm probably being stupid in expecting to be invited to a wedding when I have never met the bride and groom, but the bride is aware that we are dating/co-habitating.

[Elsa]

I think it's time to share your frustration with your bf. Not that this wedding should be a deal breaker but if this is a continuing pattern of you being excluded he should either stand up to his friends or find new friends.

[atlas]

May 24, 2015 19:52:04 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

May 24, 2015 19:47:39 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

So why does your BF continue to hang out with people who actively exclude you?

He doesn't hang out with the bride and groom, but they have mutual friends so are sometimes at the same events and BF also works with the bride. To be honest, I'm not really sure why BF was even invited, probably because all of the mutual friends were invited.

So yes, I know I'm probably being stupid in expecting to be invited to a wedding when I have never met the bride and groom, but the bride is aware that we are dating/co-habitating.

Just because you haven't met the bride does not mean that you should not be invited.

He is invited and you are his girlfriend. He should be invited with his SO.