Thank you for all your good thoughts and kind words. They mean so much to us. Thank you to all heart baby moms who PMed me. Your stories give me so much hope.
So baby A has a coarct in her aorta. Her doctors are not sure if it needs surgical repair right now or later. So we are just waiting and waiting. The doctors are waiting to see if she has any symptoms. I'm waiting to see if the coarct will magically disappear (yeah right). We keep getting conflicting info. They were ready to let us go home last friday and then decided to transfer us to the CICU where we are right now. The only thing we know for sure is unless there's an emergency, we are watching till tuesday for any signs that she needs surgery right away. If there are none, they might consider sending us home and having us come in for a biweekly echo till her heart needs surgery. So pretty much in a limbo still.
On one hand, I obviously want to avoid a surgery on my baby but on the other hand, i'm scared to go home with this hanging over our heads. I'd rather leave the constant monitoring after fixing the problem. It's up to her doctors now. So we'll see.
She is doing great, considering. She is such a trooper. She smiles a lot (she really does). She cooes and grasps and we fall over each other in excitement as I imagine all FT parents do, lol. I thank her several times a day for picking me to be her mom. I'm so grateful and so lucky.
I'm ok today. I don't want to go into how crazy and emotional I've been , so let's talk about other things. intentionalsnarkshark visited and brought me muffins and a one week birthday cupcake for the baby which I promise to feed her via breastmilk. It's so awesome having her over. Her mom made me the most beautiful elephant quilt which I'll pip sometime later. Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear has been keeping me company online. My mom is still here and takes care of Maddie and our home, so that's a huge help. Maddie's fosters and rescue have offered to watch her for free, which I'm happy about. She loves it there and I know she'll have fun and not miss us too much. H is an absolute angel. He's my rock and I love him so much for letting me go to pieces and helping me get it together. I'm lucky to be his wife.
Recovery is going ok. I know you told me to take care of myself but it really is impossible. Feeding is around the clock. The bed/bench is just not good to get in and out of multiple times. I'm making it work for now. The incision still hurts but not too bad. I have a huge hanging pouch where my stomach used to be. I don't know if that will go in. For now I tuck it into my mesh underwear, haha. I'll call my ob next week but is it common to have pain on peeing if you've had a catheter? And does your stomach feel sorta numb around the c section area? And is it common to feel pg blues in the evening? Around 5, I get super sad and depressed and panicky. It last till about 9. Is this something I should talk to the OB about?
Again, thank you all for your wishes and offers to help. I'm sorry I am so weird about accepting all of your kindness. I honestly just would like to hear some words of encouragement either here or via PM. H and I will appreciate every single prayer and good thought you can send towards us. She deserves so much more, you guys. I feel so terrible seeing my tiny baby going through so much and she is barely a week old. I spent hours obsessing over which swaddle blanket was the softest and whether the RNP was plush enough. She sleeps in an iron crib with 10 monitors and leads and an IV with crappy rough blankets. We breastfeed with so many wires. I hate it. Ok, I'm probably going to start bawling again, so I'll sign off here. Here are a few pictures of my little rockstar. She is the best. Everyone here loves her!
PDQ
My current favorite picture
I look like shit but she looks adorable in this one. What kind of mom would I be if I didn't put a bow that's too big for her head, huh?
A little animated gif action
She has the goofiest faces, lol.
My other baby who I miss like crazy
ETA : Just saw that snark made a thread already. Sorry for the info and photo overload. <3
Post by W.T.Faulkner on May 23, 2015 23:29:21 GMT -5
She is a doll! And you look wonderful in that photo, too. You are already an unbelievable mom. I'm crossing my fingers that the little lady will be just fine very soon.
Post by speckledfrog on May 23, 2015 23:32:38 GMT -5
I love her! What an adorable little girl. I hope you get a decision soon.
It sounds like a lot of what you've got going on is normal. I had some pain with peeing. It felt like I got punched in the clitoris for weeks when I tensed my muscles down there.
Don't hesitate to talk to your nurses (if you still have them) or your OB when you have questions about your recovery.
I love her! What an adorable little girl. I hope you get a decision soon.
It sounds like a lot of what you've got going on is normal. I had some pain with peeing. It felt like I got punched in the clitoris for weeks when I tensed my muscles down there.
Don't hesitate to talk to your nurses (if you still have them) or your OB when you have questions about your recovery.
Post by usuallylurking on May 23, 2015 23:41:58 GMT -5
She is gorgeous and you look wonderful! That first pic is totally awesome, I can see why it's your favorite thoughts and prayers for your little girl and family.
My c section scar is still numb and I don't like anything to touch it.
I got the blues at night for a couple weeks. H talked about going running once he got our oldest in bed and I lost it. Full on bawling. I just didn't want to be alone at night and was much more down during that time.
Is there anyway you could go home to sleep for just one night? I think it would be so good for you. I understand if you won't but remember to take care of you ok?
And please if there is anything we can do please let us know. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
I made my mom stay with me a couple of days and then snark visited me one day. Today was not so bad because I went home to play with maddie and snark and mom came over. I also stopped the percocet. I suspect it was messing with my moods. I can;t really go home because baby's feeding 1-1.5 hours. We have to stop bfing if they start prostaglandin until after surgery, so I'm terrified of missing out on bfing even for a day.
I remember for the first couple weeks PP, I'd hit my wall at 5pm and would lose it and cry hysterically. Dh would put me to bed for a couple hours at that point and I'd wake up better. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor though!
Post by whiskeyandwine on May 23, 2015 23:47:40 GMT -5
She is beautiful!
I have had the same 5-9 Baby Blues spells. Almost every night. My OB called it the Two Week Tears and told me to call her if it isn't better in 2-3 weeks. You probably get at least a few extra days w all you've been through!
Sending many positive thoughts and prayers for you all!
I'd like to say that she's really going to appreciate all of those luxuries that you lovingly (& painstakingly) chose for her, but well, she's a newborn. She doesn't really care. You're just learning a First Time Mom lesson much earlier than the rest of us! (But it is wonderful to snuggle with a tiny baby wrapped in a super soft blanket!) Many/most of the must-haves for baby are just as much (or more!) for mom than for baby.
Don't hesitate to ask questions of nurses, your OB, etc. I will bet my last dollar that they've answered far more ridiculous questions than you could even imagine! And whatever you feel emotionally, you're probably not the first to feel that, either. Let them help you...that's why they're there!
She's gorgeous! and so are you. I am so glad you are where you are, getting all the care you and the baby need.
My oldest brother is 66, he was born with this problem. It wasn't caught till he was 15 and in high school, in 1964. Remarkably, we had just moved to a new neighborhood, right next door to a pediatric cardiologist, who was describing this condition that he'd seen in an infant that week, to my dad. Told him that the blood pressure in the upper and lower extremities would be vastly different for a child with the condition, and took my brother's blood pressures to show my dad how they would be the same in a healthy person. POOF my brother's pressures were different, upper and lower. They did the first open heart surgery in Missouri on him, within a few weeks, to correct the condition. He was wheeled outside a few days after surgery for a change of scenery, and tore out some of his heart stitches tossing a football back and forth from his wheelchair with one of the orderlies, and they had to reopen his chest that day to repair the damage, my mother was fit to be tied. Fifty one years later, years of heavy smoking and drinking later, my brother still has the heart of a lion and is in remarkably good health, after a long, vigorous and happy life that looks to extend a long way further on. He's never had a problem with his heart, ever since. I hope your baby's condition resolves quickly and easily. ((hugs))
To all of your questions- yes. Numbness is normal, pain when peeing is normal (and will go away soon), baby blues at any time of day are normal and should go away soon as well.
Hang in there. You are being so strong for your baby and she is lucky to have you for a mom. Also, she's just gorgeous!
Post by kellykapowski on May 24, 2015 0:32:56 GMT -5
She's so beautiful! And you are so lovely!
I used to get really anxious, sad and extremely scared at night. I slept with the lights on in our room for months because I was so scared. I never told my doctor, though looking back I know I should have. Talk to your doctor, they know best how to help.
My best friend currently has a baby recovering from coarctation surgery. Her baby had surgery at 2 days old. (Her coarctation was severe enough that they knew before she was born that she would be facing surgery.) However, the coarct was corrected and her heart is doing really well. She has other issues along with this, thus she's still being treated in the hospital, but her heart is doing fantastic and has healed as expected.
I hope all goes well with your sweet girl!! ((Sequins))