Who's being inconsiderate here...

[InBetweenDays]

My parents 50th wedding anniversary is this summer. August 7th. That is also the date of my niece's (my brother's daughter) 19th birthday. The entire family is getting together on Nantucket for this anniversary. Growing up, we spent most Augusts on Nantucket for their anniversary and I'd say it isn't unusual (but doesn't happen any or most years) for us to all be there together as adults with our own families.

So, my brother, sister and I are planning a party for my parents. My sister just got an email from my SIL (My brother's wife) asking if we would consider a different day for the party (which we're planning for my parent's actually anniversary) since it is also her daughter's birthday.

So, what say you. We'll all be together for a week so we should plan the anniversary party for a different night? Or it's my parent's 50th anniversary which should trump most every other birthday and the niece should celebrate a different night?

I've been out drinking so I'm going to bed. But will be interested to hear your thoughts and will give you my own in the morning.

[dana86]

Personally I would just make it one big party and celebrate both the same day. Let it be called the anniversary party and have that be the big part but have two cakes and sing happy birthday to the niece as well. I feel like 19 isn't a big deal so doing it on one night and giving niece her 15 minutes the same day shouldn't be a big deal.

[Deleted]

I'm with dana. 19 isn't a big deal. Maybe ask niece how she feels.

[mkate710]

I like the idea of giving the niece her own little celebration, but a 50th anniversary trumps birthdays. I'd ask that they move niece's birthday to another evening of the trip. And since I hate confrontation and saying no, I'd probably also offer to plan her birthday and make her cake, but I wouldn't recommend that course of action

[sotally tober]

May 24, 2015 10:07:44 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Lunch for the niece. Dinner for the parents. I think a 50th anniversary trumps a non-milestone birthday.

This is where I'm at.

[Deleted]

May 24, 2015 10:15:53 GMT -5 sotally tober said:

May 24, 2015 10:07:44 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Lunch for the niece. Dinner for the parents. I think a 50th anniversary trumps a non-milestone birthday.

This is where I'm at.

Tritto this.

[InBetweenDays]

Thanks all. I was floored that she even asked us to consider a different date. I'm not sure if this idea is coming from her or my niece, but I tend to think my niece would be fine. It's frustrating because she is kind of acting like this entire trip is putting them out. My niece starts college next fall, and they are saying it's tough because this is her last summer home (they're only gone for a week), she'll be away from her boyfriend (they're going to the same college), etc.

I like the idea of a lunch, and my sister suggested that but hasn't heard back.

[theoriginalbean]

Totally agree with the anniversary trumping the birthday. Have a cake for the niece at the party, or have the birthday on a different day. What does SIL want to do? At 19, I would have been fine with a combined celebration.

[Deleted]

50th Aniversary is HUGE!!! I'm with everyone else, it TOTALLY trumps!
Maybe its because my birthday is Jan 1, but a lot of people are used to celebrating birthdays on different days so I agree with PP, lunch for niece or separate day.