This isn't fair

[missbella]

I'm going to whine for a minute. DS will be one on Wednesday. He has always been strong-willed. He still does not sleep through the night and I expend a lot of mental and physical energy getting him to sleep.

Now, he has really started ramping up the tantrums. Especially, during diaper changes, going in his high hair and the car seat. Obviously, these are unavoidable. He locks his legs, kicks, hits, screams, thrashes. He mostly only does it for me.

I am just exhausted and feel like I can't catch a break. I haven't slept through the night in a year and now I have to deal with a non-verbal tantruming toddler all day.

I know that this is normal and everyone has to deal with it. He is a generally happy, cute, smart boy the rest of the time. I just thought I would have a few more months before everything became a battle. According to my mom it is payback. Thanks for listening.

Tl,dr: my kid is turning into a toddler and it sucks.

[mrsfarmer]

During one of DD1's early intervention appointments, they demonstrated a different way to get the child into the car seat so they can't get as much resistance built up. You hold them facing outward and their knees up to their chest. You then slide them in. It took practice, but it worked with her.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry. My girls are 14 mos and have sttn exactly once - 8pm to 5am and technically k woke up for her paci at one point. J didn't sttn until he was 13mos and not reliably until he was closer to 16mOs. It's not that uncommon for kids to not sttn at this age.

The girls also tantrum all the time over the smallest things. And if one gets going the other will usually join in because they don't like to see their twin upset. Oh, and it's really fun when J gets in on it too just for shits and giggles.

All we can do is take a deep breath, pour a large drink, and savor the good times!

[Deleted]

The car seat thing sucks. I have no advice, but it doesn't last forever. Then they move on to another thing.
One day, I had to really shove her in the seat (how else was I going to get her in?) and the next day, she had a bruise on her leg. I felt horrible. But a year has gone by and she has survived.

I always remind myself that you never remember anything from age 1.

[chicago]

You are not alone. Toddlers are hard, man. I try to focus on the moments she's cute and snuggly and hope to the universe that the asshole-ish behavior won't last forever.

[Deleted]

I get it.

DS started sleeping more than 3 hours at a time last month...and he's 15 months old.

He was also a tantrum-y, whiny, clingy, needy mess for a long while.

I will say now though in the last couple weeks he's really started to "age" and come into his own. He's a lot more pleasant again. He's sleeping great finally so the tantrums are a lot less and he's so much more manageable.

So hang in there. Hopefully it will come. I know it did for us. It's just so hard and exhausting because you can't do anything about it until they decide they want to, kwim? (I battled sleep training and bottles with DS for seemingly forever. Then one day he woke up and done with it all. Uhh...thanks kid...I guess).

Hugs.

[sent]

I'm sorry. It's hard, I am going through these things too and mine is approaching 18 months. Not STTN is hard, especially when you read about how others were so sleep deprived during the NB phase, thank goodness that's over!  No, for some of us it hasn't ended yet.  

[scribellesam]

I'm sorry. The tantrums are so exhausting, physically and mentally. My first didn't start STTN until 16mo. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse.

[lulu21]

I'm with you on the car seat. We put J into a V (knees up by his chest) and side him into the car seat like that. J constantly straightens himself out and throws himself back for me. I also started leaving a soft blanket in his seat, and let him be distracted by that when I put him in.

[Ashley&Scott]

It gets better, hang in there.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry. Toddler tantrums are the worst. Can your h take over a night or 2 a week so you can sttn?

[missbella]

May 24, 2015 22:45:03 GMT -5 @missy1 said:

I'm sorry. Toddler tantrums are the worst. Can your h take over a night or 2 a week so you can sttn?

Nope. He works until midnight 4 nights of the week. On the nights he is off he will try to do any wake ups that occur before he goes to bed. Once he has gone to bed though, there is no waking him. He does not hear him cry at all and he is cranky and miserable if he does not get a full nights sleep so it is not really worth it to wake him up. Occasionally I do when I am at the end of my rope and I cannot deal for one more minute but I don't think DH could/would make it a regular thing.

He did tell me yesterday when I was complaining that this was hard work that I was more than welcome to find a job and that he would gladly stay home and take care of DS. : /

[miniroller]

May 24, 2015 23:33:13 GMT -5 missbella said:

May 24, 2015 22:45:03 GMT -5 @missy1 said:

He did tell me yesterday when I was complaining that this was hard work that I was more than welcome to find a job and that he would gladly stay home and take care of DS. : /

Non-mom who follows along a bit sometimes to feel better about being medically advised to wait 1-3 yrs. (when ALL of my friends are having babies!!! Well, most on 2nd or 3rd by this point. Grrrr...)
ANYWAY, I absolutely hate that I can almost picture my H saying exactly this in the heat of the (future) moment. And I wanna kick your H (& my future H? ) square in the nutsack & Hard for even thinking this!

[dcn]

It is a hard age for sure. Do you do signs with him? When my son learned eat, more, milk, and all done life was changed forever.

Ditto the suggestion to try diaper changes standing. Also, I Used to put a video of himself on my phone and let him watch it so I could change a poopy diaper. Whatever works, and distraction worked best at that age.

For the high chair, could you do a booster pulled up to the table? Or like pp said, a little table or the floor. My Ds started sitting in a regular chair at the table around 18 months bc he wouldn't even sit in a booster anymore. He sat, ate, and was happy so again, whatever works.

Hang in there!

[gibbinator]

Teething? He's the right age for several coming in at once. Anytime my kids turn into constant raving beasts, a few more teeth make their presence known.

[missbella]

May 25, 2015 4:19:59 GMT -5 gibbinator said:

Teething? He's the right age for several coming in at once. Anytime my kids turn into constant raving beasts, a few more teeth make their presence known.

I guess it's possible. He has all 8 front teeth so I guess molars are next. I can't really look in his mouth and he will bite my fingers off if I stick them in their.

[missbella]

May 25, 2015 0:44:12 GMT -5 dcn said:

It is a hard age for sure. Do you do signs with him? When my son learned eat, more, milk, and all done life was changed forever.

Ditto the suggestion to try diaper changes standing. Also, I Used to put a video of himself on my phone and let him watch it so I could change a poopy diaper. Whatever works, and distraction worked best at that age.

For the high chair, could you do a booster pulled up to the table? Or like pp said, a little table or the floor. My Ds started sitting in a regular chair at the table around 18 months bc he wouldn't even sit in a booster anymore. He sat, ate, and was happy so again, whatever works.

Hang in there!

He signs more and all done. He refuses to sign milk but he knows what it means. Giving him stuff while I changed his diaper used to work but now he just throws it at me while doing a death roll. If I change him on the floor he crawls away. He doesn't stand independently but he can if he holds on. I do that sometimes but I need more practice.

For the high chair, once he is sitting and buckled in he is fine. He just doesn't like being forced to sit so I'm not sure a booster would help. I have been thinking about getting a little table and chairs so maybe I will look into that.

[vmars]

The only things that worked for the car seat was making sure he had a stuffed animal he loved to focus on or a drink/snack for when I was strapping him in. For diaper changes the iPhone works the best. Find something that works and stick with it. My kid is luckily easily distracted most of the time. Also repeat in your mind -- this is just a phase.

[alexis]

We have a lot of diaper tantrums and I'm finding distractions work well. He no longer wants toys, but if I tickle him, he'll generally lie still long enough for me to change him. I will also put a clean wash cloth over his face for peek a boo, which he likes. I find that if I start by swinging him up to the changing take while making silly noises, it gets us off to a good start and is easier. Basically make it a big play time.

If worst comes to worst I sit on the floor with his upper body pinned under one off my legs.

[Deleted]

He's getting old enough for positive reinforcement - break out some chocolate chips or tic tacs or whatever. Start doling out once he's in the car seat / high chair.