someone complained to HR about me

[zarapipe]

I work at a university from 7 to 330. I supervise student and regular staff, about 40 ppl.

This year has been hell with childcare for the baby bc of limited availability and late opening times. My boss approved a change of work schedule for me for the year and the new schedule is 745 to 415 bc dc doesnt open til 730.

This is great except for a few weeks during the summer. The past few weeks I've had to be there at 7. I asked one of my student workers if she would be interested In taking 30 min off work for a few weeks and taking the baby to work. I paid her well and she was excited to do it. she would come at 7, work till 715, grab the baby from me and take her to dc and come back to work till 330. I talked to my boss, he was fine with the baby hanging out for 15 minutes while I check my voice mail and email bc it was a temporary THIng.

Boss calls me today bc hr got a report that one of my student workers was being paid by the state (on the clock) for taking my baby to work, in a state vehicle. I'm livid. I had to confirm to my boss I was doing everything correctly, she is off the clock and in her own vehicle. Yes, I realize the perception is bad bc she leaves with my kid and then comes back but I wasn't doing anything wrong. The student employee is project based, she isn't leaving a desk unmanned for phone calls or anything like that, she gets paid to complete a task and however long it takes is fine. My boss isn't upset but it's just another thing to remind me that I can't be a good mom and a good employee. Plus when stuff comes up I'm afraid it limits flexibility with my job and other staff bc someone always has to complain that people are taking advantage of stuff. Soon enough flexibility will be nonexistent bc of people complaining and bosses not want to take a risk

On top of that dd got into the charter school she applies for. Super excited. Unfortunatley there isn't any before care like I had thought and we can't drop off till 745 so she most likely can't go unless mil could commit to taking her the whole year which is not really fair or something she would probably do. Times like these are the difficult times to be a working mom. I try so hard but I can't be everywhere for everyone.

Rant over. 7 more days of the student taking the baby then I can go back to my other schedule.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry some busybody asshole ruined your day.

You're doing a great job. Don't let horrible people get you down.

[nextbigthing]

People are assholes. I'm sorry that happened.

[Deleted]

Oh man, people suck. I'm sorry.

[gogreengowhite]

I'm sorry someone complained. That is total bullshit. I had a coworker complain about my flex schedule too.

I hope your boss responds to the complaint appropriately and you can still do this schedule that works for your family.

[SJ]

That is really frustrating. Is your boss able to clear it up with whoever reported you? Or is that source confidential?

If your boss is fine with you flexing your hours, then that should be all that matters.

Why is your MIL the only option to take DD to school next year? Can you hire someone? Pay a friend or another mom? Split up with DH? Flex your hours again?

[spankswife]

Ugh, I'm sorry.

[zarapipe]

May 25, 2015 17:09:08 GMT -5 SJ said:

That is really frustrating. Is your boss able to clear it up with whoever reported you? Or is that source confidential?

If your boss is fine with you flexing your hours, then that should be all that matters.

Why is your MIL the only option to take DD to school next year? Can you hire someone? Pay a friend or another mom? Split up with DH? Flex your hours again?

my boss said he doesn't know who said it, he won't release that info.

We wouldn't be able to afford someone every day to drop off. It would probably be 15 per day and that will add up real quick for us. A public k has befire care for $1 a day, seriously. I only know one other mom sending her child and she lives way out of the way. To top it off we sold our house and are moving in a rental until we find a house to buy so even neighbors now won't end up being neighbors then. Dh was planning on taking both kids in the mornings once the baby turns 1 bc she will be changing daycare to one that opens at 7am but then don't accept infants. Then I will be free of my helish mornings.

[carolinagirl831]

That sucks, people really are assholes. Maybe you could connect with another family nearby who could take her

[carolinagirl831]

Ugh just read your update about the school, well don't give up yet . You never know what might chabge

[gibbylod]

People are stupid and have nothing better to do than criticize what others do. You are doing an awesome job, don't pay attention to this.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry, that really sucks. It's so hard to be a working parent sometimes! I'm already stressing out about the logistics of getting J to and from preschool in the fall.

[starlily]

People need to find better things to do than sticking their nose in other people's business.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

[Deleted]

That sucks, I'm sorry. 

[longtimenopost]

What a bitter ass. I'm so sorry, that would really upset me too.

[pinotgrig]

Ugh. Sorry Zara. I would be frustrated, too. People need to get a life and myob.

[Deleted]

People are the worst. Does your state have marked vehicles? In KS they have special license plates so someone would see immediately the student was in a normal car.

I am shocked at how people don't want to support other working moms. I've had mothers ask me why I have hired pregnant women! Because they are the best qualified employees. WTF?! It's only ever happened twice in my team. Once I knew the employee was pregnant and once I didn't. Fine either way.

People definitely bitch if they think anyone gets any special thing they don't. It makes me so irritated people can't worry about themselves. And I have pretty much always asked for absolute minimal accommodations (leaving early to go to the doctor, etc)

[jennistarr1]

Is there another parent you can connect with for drop off?

[livinitup]

I'm glad you and your boss shut that BS complaint down.

[imojoebunny]

I am sorry. In DH and I's professional area, we found there was a huge bonus for being readily available. Having any sort of difference was expensive and difficult, at a much greater rate than actual productivity. I hope you can work it out for your DD. Maybe you can drop her off at another parents house in the morning, and they could take her? I would not mind this. You could reciprocate by babysitting on a weekend or evening occasionally.

[ringstrue]

Fuck that piece of shit. You are doing a good job- don't let this fucker bring you down. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB.

[anna7602]

I'm so sorry. Does the charter school have a bus? Maybe bus pick-up would be early enough to let you get to work on time. Definitely ask about it.

[anna7602]

Also- what the hell is wrong with people? Why in the world would you report someone for that? And, if you were going to go the length of reporting someone, wouldn't you want to be darned sure that you are aware of the entire situation before jumping to any conclusions? So, so annoying.

[redwino]

Could you hire a student for drop off and pick up only? Or ask MIL if she's willing to do it for pay?

[zarapipe]

May 25, 2015 21:39:22 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Thinking more about it, daycares around here offer school drop off and pick up to nearby schools as part of their before and after care programs. Is there anything like this near your daughter's new school?

This is the first year they are open and aren't going go offer bussing ay first. they have after care to 6pm arranged but no before care. After I posted this the director called me bc I haven't turned in her enrollment packet and the deadline is approaching. I told him our situation and he said again that they hope to get busing and before school worked out if there is a need. So we shall see. There Wil be 315 kids, there will surely be a need!

[jackie011]

Is there any possible way to alter your hours? Dh's hours? (If I remember correctly, he works fairly non traditional hours, right?) I'm sorry you're in this situation.

[aspentosh]

I'm sorry. Not because you did anything wrong, but because people suck.

Keep on doing what you can. hugs.

[shelbyann]

Seriously, what kind of nosy asshole goes out of their way to file a complaint about something that affects them not at all. Ugh, sorry. It sounds like you are doing a great job as an employee and a mom!

[ECB]

May 25, 2015 16:47:38 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

 I can't be a good mom and a good employee.

That complaint does NOTHING to the above.  You are doing what you have to do, your boss backs you up.  That asshole complaining when he/she CLEARLY doesn't have all the facts doesn't make you a bad mom OR employee. It just makes them an asshole.

[qcinoct]

some people just suck. You do what you need to do as it sounds like you have the support of your boss.