Post by ginandjucie24 on May 26, 2015 12:12:52 GMT -5
Dear H,
When you buy the evilness that is paly doh, please tell me so that when our ds finds it (in the bags of stuff that you didn't put away, like you said you would) and wants to have play doh playtime, I don't have to decide if I want to say yes have to touch it, as you know I have texture issues, or if I want to say no and listen to our darling child cry.
Post by laceylaplante on May 26, 2015 12:16:59 GMT -5
Dear Fetus, Stop making me get sick 5+ times a day. I want to feed us and you are barely letting me. Stop the madness, your brothers are watching too much tv lately as a result. Love you already, Mommy
Please, I cannot take the fact that your life is full of personal drama. I just work here. You appear to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown because you're a doormat. Get it together.
Everyone knows you cheated to make your team win the department wide competition. We don't have a way to prove this one, but we'll do better and checks and balances next time just for you, you little liar.
Dear spring, Please come back. We went from Winter to Summer with barely a spring day in between. We're supposed to have 4 seasons. Where did you go?! -QC
Dear uterus, I don't really need you anymore. Can't you just stay where you are and behave nicely? Else, I might have to see about breaking up with you. -QC
Dear hand that creeps into my 3 year old's nightmares, GO AWAY. We finally got O over your last visit and back into sleeping in his room, and you had to return. I know you're just a figment of his imagination, but STOP IT. We all need some sleep. -QC
Please do what you're supposed to. You're supposed to make my life easier, not harder. Smartphone, please stop telling me that my "phone" app is not installed on my phone. You are a phone. Why can't I phone? Work Computer, please boot up and start functioning smoothly in less than one hour after I press the power button. Photobucket, why won't you let me upload photos? Home Laptop, why did you have to pick now to have a full hard drive, so that I can't move the pictures there either?
I cannot handle any more. No more people I love dying, no more natural disasters causing work to go up in flames, no more sick kids. Nothing. I'm done. Finished.
Dear son, the Eeyore routine is so fucking old. I'm so tired of "that wasn't fun" (after laughing your butt off for two hours), "I'd rather be at the pool than the splash pad, I want to watch a movie instead of go to chick fil a, I'm tired, I'm cold, I don't want my favorite cereal, I want a muffin" etc etc ect.
CAN YOU GO BACK TO BEING TWO AND EXCITED ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL?! K. THANKS.
I was supposed to be off all week. I came in today. I'm going to have to come in tomorrow. Now I'm also going to have to telework Thursday morning. I hate you.
Dear son, the Eeyore routine is so fucking old. I'm so tired of "that wasn't fun" (after laughing your butt off for two hours), "I'd rather be at the pool than the splash pad, I want to watch a movie instead of go to chick fil a, I'm tired, I'm cold, I don't want my favorite cereal, I want a muffin" etc etc ect.
CAN YOU GO BACK TO BEING TWO AND EXCITED ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL?! K. THANKS.
Dude, why do they do this? DD, also 6, can ALWAYS find something to whine about. Meanwhile DS, 2, is excited just to sit in his wagon in the freaking garage for 5 minutes.
Dear son, the Eeyore routine is so fucking old. I'm so tired of "that wasn't fun" (after laughing your butt off for two hours), "I'd rather be at the pool than the splash pad, I want to watch a movie instead of go to chick fil a, I'm tired, I'm cold, I don't want my favorite cereal, I want a muffin" etc etc ect.
CAN YOU GO BACK TO BEING TWO AND EXCITED ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL?! K. THANKS.
Dude, why do they do this? DD, also 6, can ALWAYS find something to whine about. Meanwhile DS, 2, is excited just to sit in his wagon in the freaking garage for 5 minutes.
This is also my niece. A few years ago, when she was 7, I took them to the zoo for the day, bought them lunch and ice cream and whatever else they wanted. She moaned the whole time that she wanted to go 'put her feet up'. lol what?
She hasn't gotten better in the last 3 years. I'm really glad I'm not her parent. Lol.
Post by themysteriouswife on May 26, 2015 14:20:47 GMT -5
Dear Lady,
Please, control the kids you brought with you to the library. This isn't a place for kids to loudly run and yell. And the books they threw at one another are worth a million bucks to a struggling public system.
I hope the kid that faceplated into the shelf is okay. Not that you noticed or anything.
This is my last week at your firm. Please understand that I am not interested anymore in your passive-agressiveness. Stop it, pay me out and let me go my own way.
Signed: the one you are going to appreciate much more when she's gone
STBX,
I have left almost a year ago because of your violence.
Please understand that I am no longer falling for your attempts to manipulate me. Stop it, pay me out and let me go my own way.
Signed: you should have appreciated me more when you had the chance
Body,
Please loose the 4 kilos that you have gained out of nowhere. I am eating all the right food and trying to reduce the wine. Stop it and let me leave for Italy with a nicer body.
Signed: the one who will appreciate you more with less weight
I don't know what the hell you've suddenly decided you're allergic to, but stop it. I've used the same makeup and eye cream on you for 2+ years, I don't know why you and the skin under my eyes have decided to get ugly and scaly and itch like all hell. Just stop it. I'm not throwing away my expensive UD, so check yourselves.