Thank you ladies. I'm sad and obviously need to do some work to figure out why I'm attracted to emotionally unavailable men. Really more how to break that attraction. I should've listened to my rule even with this one, that the guys who want to be exclusive right away have something wrong with them. I knew it but wanted to believe differently because of how cute he is.
You have a great attitude about the situation tiramisu.
Thanks.
My friend who is making the spectacularly terrible relationship choices told me that maybe it's time for "me time" and a break from dating. I'm not saying she's right or wrong, but it's hard to take advice from her right now.
You have a great attitude about the situation tiramisu.
Thanks.
My friend who is making the spectacularly terrible relationship choices told me that maybe it's time for "me time" and a break from dating. I'm not saying she's right or wrong, but it's hard to take advice from her right now.
"me time" is never a bad thing and your break could last a week or a month. Whatever YOU decide gives you enough time to process and reflect.
My friend who is making the spectacularly terrible relationship choices told me that maybe it's time for "me time" and a break from dating. I'm not saying she's right or wrong, but it's hard to take advice from her right now.
"me time" is never a bad thing and your break could last a week or a month. Whatever YOU decide gives you enough time to process and reflect.
Thank you, this is honestly helpful. I process constantly to understand what's going on with me and I think a break at least until I can talk about the attraction to emotionally unavailable men with my therapist and get into it more would be beneficial. I feel like when people say it there's an expectation for a set amount of time, minimum, you should take, which I automatically dislike.
Clarification has been received: he did mean to break up with me. I asked him when I can come by to get the rest of my stuff and told him that breaking up with someone via text is a dick move.
ETA: I'm sad but not surprised. The second to last time I was at his place, I had this momentary flash of "my time here is limited." Looks like my gut was right.
I'm all for dating yourself - really, it's great to feel good in your own skin and focus entirely on yourself and your needs. ALL good can come from it.
"me time" is never a bad thing and your break could last a week or a month. Whatever YOU decide gives you enough time to process and reflect.
Thank you, this is honestly helpful. I process constantly to understand what's going on with me and I think a break at least until I can talk about the attraction to emotionally unavailable men with my therapist and get into it more would be beneficial. I feel like when people say it there's an expectation for a set amount of time, minimum, you should take, which I automatically dislike.
Agreed. Everyone's time frame is different.
This time around I am taking a significant break from dating, but usually the time frame for me is about 4-6 weeks before dating again. For some people, it's a matter of days Do what works best for you.
Again, I'm sorry. I'm wondering if his age is also a factor in this - not that all guys under 30 are emotionally distant, but it could matter in his case.
Thanks ladies. I feel bad that this hijacked the thread.
I think his age played a part, I also think his parents' divorce when he was a baby, his mother's death, his stepfather's abandonment, and his family's discord since then all contributed too. Didn't matter, in the end. I just that this wasn't about me. I was my best self in the relationship most of the time and he's the one who couldn't attach.
Post by udscoobychick on May 27, 2015 14:17:56 GMT -5
Hugs to all who need them and are stressed out.
I will need good vibes tomorrow. Because of the type of mortgage that DH got when he first bought his house, we are being forced to refinance. An appraiser is coming to look at the house tomorrow. Because DH bought at the peak of the housing boom, the last time it was appraised (5 years ago, maybe?), he was underwater. I'm worried that the appraisal will come back lower than what he owes (especially since we're in the middle of a renovation, so what was once a bedroom and full bath are currently empty space), which would mean we'd have to do a short sale or something along those lines. So, good vibes for a good appraisal would be awesome.
Thanks ladies. I feel bad that this hijacked the thread.
I think his age played a part, I also think his parents' divorce when he was a baby, his mother's death, his stepfather's abandonment, and his family's discord since then all contributed too. Didn't matter, in the end. I just that this wasn't about me. I was my best self in the relationship most of the time and he's the one who couldn't attach.
I will need good vibes tomorrow. Because of the type of mortgage that DH got when he first bought his house, we are being forced to refinance. An appraiser is coming to look at the house tomorrow. Because DH bought at the peak of the housing boom, the last time it was appraised (5 years ago, maybe?), he was underwater. I'm worried that the appraisal will come back lower than what he owes (especially since we're in the middle of a renovation, so what was once a bedroom and full bath are currently empty space), which would mean we'd have to do a short sale or something along those lines. So, good vibes for a good appraisal would be awesome.
I cut the cord and turned in my cable box today. Woohoo. It was a short 9 months, but really what I learned is that TV is crap with the exception of the Walking Dead, Seinfeld and Downton Abbey.
I cut the cord and turned in my cable box today. Woohoo. It was a short 9 months, but really what I learned is that TV is crap with the exception of the Walking Dead, Seinfeld and Downton Abbey.
ETA - oh and Better Call Saul.
I haven't had cable now for 6 years. I do have the internet and seem to catch the thing I like. I.e. Downton Abbey.
They did send me a cable box. I've never opened it. It comes with the generic basic I had to purchase to have internet. I do have a modern day rabbit ears so I can watch the news and anything that might be good on abc, nbc, fox and cbs.
I'm so tired of the other social workers here. We had a monthly meeting and they just bitched and bitched and bitched. The one manager that was there didn't bother to say anything at all. After the meeting part was done, and they were just feeding off of each other, I got up and left because I have no interest in playing along with that negativity. I heard, from another coworker, there was a lot of complaining about me leaving and being "too good to stay". LMFAO!
This is completely random, but I'm looking for opinions. On a scale of "okay" to "horribly cheesy" how does this birthday greeting rate? (*backstory - H and I want to replace MIL's super old microwave. She's been talking about wanting a new one. So it seems like it would be a nice birthday gift?)
The Duchess of *****in Looks after her kin And weathers all storms that blow through
No matter the season She can find no reason Not to care for those she loves true
In a long-assed attempt To make up for no rent Two bought her a shiny new tool
There will be no refusal Nor any recusal This is the least that these two can do
Post by udscoobychick on May 27, 2015 16:59:40 GMT -5
SwimDeep, that's better than any poem I could come up with about a microwave!
cuddlyevil, I'm not a fan of the neckline on the second. I feel like it doesn't look overly flattering on the small-chested model, but would draw all the attention in a negative way on a bigger-chested woman, too.
Edited because I can never spell cuddlyevil right.