Post by emilyinchile on May 27, 2015 11:52:18 GMT -5
I realized the other day that while on the one hand, I very much like when people notice my CF-created body and my improved strength/skill while at CF, there's a part of me that's kind of insecure about it. Like I don't want people to think I'm full of myself or trying to show off either with my appearance (trust, if I take my shirt off during a workout it's because I'm too sweaty to live, not because I think I look hot!) or my workouts (I WFH and have a really light schedule right now, so I spend a ton of time at the box working on my own goals).
I know this is dumb because a) I'm sure no one is thinking that and b) if they are, then who cares. I guess my mind is just a little slower to catch up to my physical changes, since pre-CF I was always slim and generally athletic but didn't have visible muscles or strength.
Has anyone gone through anything like this, with weight loss or fitness or whatever it was? Or am I definitively crazy?
Post by mrs.jacinthe on May 27, 2015 12:30:55 GMT -5
I hear you. Although I'm comfortable in my newly fluffy body (damn unknown medical condition), I feel pretty self-conscious when the coach asks me how many yards I did at the end of a workout. The reason? It's usually 1000-2000 more than anybody else and I'm self-conscious that they'll think I'm making crap up, since I'm reasonably confident my fat camp RD thinks the same thing. I also don't talk about my workouts there, even when she asks how everybody did. When your goal for the week is 150 minutes of activity (walking, for most people) and I swim 180 minutes in one day, plus 4-5 more days' worth, it seems awfully over-confident to mention it.
I can't relate. Sorry. I am super proud of my gains and weight loss and have no issues flaunting them. Note: I do not flaunt it. I don't really have to flaunt it because people notice it and make positive comments which doesn't bother me at all. I sound so full of mysllef there huh? But it's true. I am proud of it and if it's noticeable to others then yay! I've been told by a few people that the changes they've seen in me has motivated them to start doing something to change.
I don't feel I'm in a position to workout in just a sports bra quite yet (meaning my body isn't at that point but I've always rocked a bikini no matter my size) and I don't think I ever would. Tank tops work for me during workouts because that's what I'm comfortable in. I do sometimes wear tanks that are sheer-ish though.
You are working hard on your body and you shouldn't be insecure about your gains. The changes people are seeing are probably influencing others to change themselves. That's a positive thing. Feel good about it and don't worry that others may be thinking you're full of yourself. If people are thinking that then who cares as long as you aren't actually acting like a meathead douche for real.
I worry about this at hoop, but not at my CF gym. At my gym, I am not at all the hottest or jackedest (lol) or whatever, so I don't worry about it. At hoop, I am definitely stronger than most of the other women by virtue of the type of workouts I've done for the past three years. I nail tricks on the first or second try. I feel like I need to hide my strength because I don't want to come across as superior or anything. So yeah, in a way, I get it.
Yep - I get you. especially what mrs.jacinthe said. I think the other way, that I'm embarrassed/annoyed that I don't look like I could run a mile. I wish I did. I would totally flaunt it.
I went to a Christmas party with my hubs who belongs to a gym. The woman who owns this gym came up to talk to us. Greeted him and then (I kid you not) looked me up and down and then questioned me why I don't come to the gym. I wanted to scream: I RAN 26 HALF MARATHONS THIS YEAR YOU EFFING WENCH. I DON'T NEED A MEMBERSHIP, I JUST NEED TRAINERS AND SOME TARMAC.
I left after that. They were all standing around at this bar, posing, flexing and complimenting each other on how great they looked and it was pretty clear I didn't make the cut. And that's why I don't believe that one single body shape indicate fitness.
Wait a minute. I take it back. I sometimes feel like @cheshire because I don't look like I lift or run. I guess I'm insecure in that way. My body still has too much fat to really show any muscle. I want to look fit and although I know I am it's not outwardly noticeable.
Post by emilyinchile on May 27, 2015 12:53:54 GMT -5
mrs.jacinthe, I read your post the other day, and I'm so frustrated for you with the whole RD situation. I'm sorry that you're dealing with similar feelings with your coach too! I hope s/he knows you well enough as an athlete to know you're just a bad ass.
itsme, haha, I love it. And I swear that I do feel just as proud as you, and usually I love the comments! I don't really know why I have this little part that's worried about looking like I'm taking it past the positive to a level where it's obnoxious...hopefully having identified that feeling means I can now get over it.
wambam, that used to happen to me at soccer - everyone would be dying after conditioning, and I was just chilling because CF had me in such good shape. So I know how that can be a little awkward.
@cheshire, those people sound awful! And for the record, you certainly look to me like someone who could run a mile. Extra 2 lbs and all!
wambam, that used to happen to me at soccer - everyone would be dying after conditioning, and I was just chilling because CF had me in such good shape. So I know how that can be a little awkward.
During my intro class my teacher was like "get into the hoop whatever was is easiest and then do X trick." Without even thinking, I pulled myself up into the hoop and everyone was looking at me all agog.
Not really an insecurity so much as a rant, but I do play down my running - Because of comments from others regarding how it "must be nice" to "have the time" to go for an early morning run, travel to a race, spend 45 minutes on myself working out in the basement, you name it, I've stopped engaging in conversations at work and with a particular friend about my plans for the weekend or the day if they involve going for a run. As the weather's been getting nicer, a seemingly innocent inquiry of "it's great out today- did you get a run in this morning?" turns into a "oh, you did? must be nice."
This enrages me to no end- I have the same twenty-four effing hours in a day as anyone else, I TAKE the time to workout dammit.
labbie YES. I don't actually get those comments beyond in a joking way, but I feel like people think them. As I said, my work schedule is certainly not the typical 9-6+commute time, so I do have more time, but I also have a to do list full of things I don't get to or dishes in my sink or tasks I put off just like anyone - I prioritize working out because I enjoy it.
I am adding a rant. After a coworker asked me how much I can deadlift and I told her she said, "Oh I can do that". Umm, you admittedly do not workout at all and you think you can walk up to a bar and lift 250+ lbs like nothing. Really? I walked away from that convo.
I have several H&F insecurities I am working on. I consider myself a work in progress. Specifically to what you mentioned, I have a hard time accepting compliments. With running there is always someone faster, and a few people I run with are in a way different league. Because of that I feel like I need to downplay my skills sometimes. I don't want people to think that I think I'm better than average. It sounds so dumb typing it out. Just last week someone asked if I ran marathons, and I said "yeah. I've done a few." 11. I've done 11. But I don't want to tell people and have them think I am an obnoxious runner type. not that I know any obnoxious runners, but I feel the stereotype is there.
Post by irene adler on May 27, 2015 13:28:30 GMT -5
I feel this way when it comes to running, particularly when I don't reach a goal I set out for myself (example – if I offhandedly mentioned that I'm disappointed I only ran 4 miles instead of my planned six). I feel like I have to qualify *only* running a certain distance by reminding whoever I'm talking to that I've had 18 years of practice.
Post by CallingAllAngels on May 27, 2015 13:32:45 GMT -5
I have a huge case of imposter syndrome because I'm not particularly good at anything that I do, but I keep doing it.
On Sunday, I was talking to a friend of mine about our respective bike rides. He rode 60 miles straight up a mountain and I rode 17 miles around town, and I'm sure he was much faster than I was. I feel like what I do is not in the same league as so many other people (including a lot of you here).
I have to keep reminding myself that I do what I do for fun, not to compete with anyone else.
If I ever reach the level of badass at which i feel like training in a sports bra will in any way fool anyone into thinking I'm showing off my sexy mom-bod, I'll let you know
That said, I think there were exactly 96 seconds between when I cross the marathon finish line and when that 26.2 sticker went on my car. My daughter asked me why I had numbers on there and I told her flat out: mommy ran that far and she wants everyone and their mothers to know about it.
I have plenty of insecurities, but being too awesome is not one of them because, well, I'm not too awesome (yet) LOL!
I have several H&F insecurities I am working on. I consider myself a work in progress. Specifically to what you mentioned, I have a hard time accepting compliments. With running there is always someone faster, and a few people I run with are in a way different league. Because of that I feel like I need to downplay my skills sometimes. I don't want people to think that I think I'm better than average. It sounds so dumb typing it out. Just last week someone asked if I ran marathons, and I said "yeah. I've done a few." 11. I've done 11. But I don't want to tell people and have them think I am an obnoxious runner type. not that I know any obnoxious runners, but I feel the stereotype is there.
SO RIDICULOUS, right? It's cool if YOU think I'm better than average, but I don't want you to think I think that...even though really I do because the average person is probably not even exercising.
Obviously I'm not glad that anyone else feels the occasional self-doubt, but I do really appreciate all of you sharing. To me it's so clear that you guys are all great, humble, hardworking athletes, and that reminds me that I'm the same.
Post by bostonmichelle on May 27, 2015 13:43:01 GMT -5
I really lack confidence in my running ability. I feel like I downplay how I do at races because it is not nearly as fast as those that I talk to. I think this is mainly I talk to a lot of people that are much faster than me or have been running a lot longer. I really need to learn to own my running and that I'm still doing well even if I'm not in the front of the pack with my running friends. I've never been particularly athletic in my life so this is still a work in progress for me.
mrs.jacinthe, I read your post the other day, and I'm so frustrated for you with the whole RD situation. I'm sorry that you're dealing with similar feelings with your coach too! I hope s/he knows you well enough as an athlete to know you're just a bad ass.
Oh! No, the coach believes me - he knows I'm mostly keeping up with the medium-fast swimmers these days and then staying longer than everyone else. I'm thinking more along the lines of other swimmers. Like they're sizing me up and judging me because of my size and then deciding I'm a liar.
As the weather's been getting nicer, a seemingly innocent inquiry of "it's great out today- did you get a run in this morning?" turns into a "oh, you did? must be nice."
This enrages me to no end- I have the same twenty-four effing hours in a day as anyone else, I TAKE the time to workout dammit.
This makes me ragey! It almost always comes from someone who has kids (planned, expected kids), and I seriously want to break things. I get this a lot from my BIL & SIL, not just with exercising, but with our travel. 1) I see all of the awesome moms on here still manage to make time. 2) THIS IS THE MOST ANNOYING POINT. I'm not LUCKY. It's not LUCK. I made choices. The person saying that I'm lucky made choices. They chose to start a family. We chose to wait. It's not luck. It's life choices. People are active participants in their lives. Their lives didn't just happen to them, so GTFO here with this, "must be nice" crap. Own your choices and leave me alone.
cinco, I have similar issues. I really have to watch myself, because sometimes I catch myself being so self deprecating. It's obnoxious. I don't mean to be that way, but I downplay a lot of stuff, and really, I truly do just consider myself a very average runner. There are so many people who are so much better, I have difficulty accepting compliments. I'm getting better though! I'm proud of what I have done, and I'm getting better at smiling and just saying, "Thanks! I do okay, I guess."
Not really an insecurity so much as a rant, but I do play down my running - Because of comments from others regarding how it "must be nice" to "have the time" to go for an early morning run, travel to a race, spend 45 minutes on myself working out in the basement, you name it, I've stopped engaging in conversations at work and with a particular friend about my plans for the weekend or the day if they involve going for a run. As the weather's been getting nicer, a seemingly innocent inquiry of "it's great out today- did you get a run in this morning?" turns into a "oh, you did? must be nice."
This enrages me to no end- I have the same twenty-four effing hours in a day as anyone else, I TAKE the time to workout dammit.
Oh that would piss me off no end. People say that to me about all the holidays I take. I prioritise travel they way they have prioritised having a family but I don't rub their working uterus in their face and say 'oh it must be nice to have all that fertility!'
Not really an insecurity so much as a rant, but I do play down my running - Because of comments from others regarding how it "must be nice" to "have the time" to go for an early morning run, travel to a race, spend 45 minutes on myself working out in the basement, you name it, I've stopped engaging in conversations at work and with a particular friend about my plans for the weekend or the day if they involve going for a run. As the weather's been getting nicer, a seemingly innocent inquiry of "it's great out today- did you get a run in this morning?" turns into a "oh, you did? must be nice."
This enrages me to no end- I have the same twenty-four effing hours in a day as anyone else, I TAKE the time to workout dammit.
I've had to say things like "it's nice because I make the time to run, it doesn't just fall into my lap" to more than one person. Like they expect me to apologize or something, when I have nothing to apologize for.
I am adding a rant. After a coworker asked me how much I can deadlift and I told her she said, "Oh I can do that". Umm, you admittedly do not workout at all and you think you can walk up to a bar and lift 250+ lbs like nothing. Really? I walked away from that convo.
One of my team members is a jujitsu champion and someone basically got up in his grill and said it was just kind of like wrestling, pretty easy and he could totally take him on. Instead of getting mad, he invited him down to try it out. The tough guy never showed up.
You should invite her down to train with you. After all, you have something in common
I am adding a rant. After a coworker asked me how much I can deadlift and I told her she said, "Oh I can do that". Umm, you admittedly do not workout at all and you think you can walk up to a bar and lift 250+ lbs like nothing. Really? I walked away from that convo.
One of my team members is a jujitsu champion and someone basically got up in his grill and said it was just kind of like wrestling, pretty easy and he could totally take him on. Instead of getting mad, he invited him down to try it out. The tough guy never showed up.
You should invite her down to train with you. After all, you have something in common
There's a small gym attached to the building we're in and I told her to go try it. She didn't.
Post by Wines Not Whines on May 27, 2015 14:42:54 GMT -5
I have plenty of insecurities! I often downplay how much I run when I'm marathon training, because I worry the average person will think I'm insane. I also feel like I should be a better runner after all of my training. I have issues.
I am adding a rant. After a coworker asked me how much I can deadlift and I told her she said, "Oh I can do that". Umm, you admittedly do not workout at all and you think you can walk up to a bar and lift 250+ lbs like nothing. Really? I walked away from that convo.
LOL!!!! I'm trying to imagine the face I would make even attempting to deadlift 125 and it would be ... somewhere between the graveyardgirl earthworm mode and stephen colbert's making-a-poop face. NOT GOOD.
OK so all these posts are making me rethink my original comment. I do not at all feel insecure about my body or compliments. I do wish I already had (and am working on) an awesome CF body. If this stupid fat would melt off faster my dreams would come true! So with that said these posts are making me think of other ways I guess I feel weird about my working out. I'm not necessarily insecure although sometimes I read the posts here and see that some of your everyday runs are my long runs and I sit here in awe wondering how...just how?
With running I sometimes notice myself downplaying my distance, like to me running 3 miles is "only" 3 miles because my regular runs are longer than that. When I am talking to someone I have to stop myself from saying "only xxx miles" because then I realize I sound like I'm bragging that I can run a 5k and it doesn't phase me. I also always tend to mention that I'm not fast. I really am not but I feel in convos I need to mention that to show that I'm not an elite athlete or something. I don't really know. I' not embarrassed that I work out but when talking to people that don't I don't want to come off snobbish about it.
I have also run into people asking how I do it, meaning having time. I make it a priority. That's what I tell them.
As far as CF, I thought I was a badass with my weightlifting. I really felt great about what I could lift but I've been going through a rough patch with it lately. I was sick for a few weeks and missed the week we did PRs and saw everyone surpass where I was. That was a huge ego blow. I feel like I'm the newb now. Before that I realized I needed to work on my form and decided to scale back on weights. Between me scaling back, being sick and feeling like I lost some strength, and seeing everyone PR like crazy I felt lost for a bit. I'm still struggling with it and always feel great after a CF workout and really I don't care that I'm doing lower weights during a workout but then I start thinking about it like I am now and I still feel like I've lost something. So I guess I feel insecure that I don't lift as heavy as others.
Not really an insecurity so much as a rant, but I do play down my running - Because of comments from others regarding how it "must be nice" to "have the time" to go for an early morning run, travel to a race, spend 45 minutes on myself working out in the basement, you name it, I've stopped engaging in conversations at work and with a particular friend about my plans for the weekend or the day if they involve going for a run. As the weather's been getting nicer, a seemingly innocent inquiry of "it's great out today- did you get a run in this morning?" turns into a "oh, you did? must be nice."
This enrages me to no end- I have the same twenty-four effing hours in a day as anyone else, I TAKE the time to workout dammit.
Oh that would piss me off no end. People say that to me about all the holidays I take. I prioritise travel they way they have prioritised having a family but I don't rub their working uterus in their face and say 'oh it must be nice to have all that fertility!'
I HATE this!!! I get the old 'oh you're so skinny because you don't have kids and have the time to work out'. No that's not really why, its because I am committed and work hard at it. Although I find that when people realize how ass early you have to get up sometimes to get in a workout and how you prioritize it over other things that does help.
And I bet you really DO inspire others without realizing it. I inspired my friend to start running without even realizing it until she told me!