So this is the email I put together about changing the wedding. Can I get opinions? I want it to be very clear to people that we are still getting married, lest they think the visa thing is a cover for bigger problems. Also, is there a way to indicate that I don't want to talk about it, without sounding rude?
I'm sure I could do this without your opinions, but the more I talk about it the easier it will be to acknowledge the reality of it when the time comes.
The email:
Hi everyone
We are still very much in love and we are still getting married. Unfortunately, when it comes to immigration issues, love isn't enough.
Due to a delay in visa processing that is keeping D in Scotland for right now, we are unable to commit to our August 1 wedding date.
This has been in the works for awhile but it was our greatest hope that things would work out in time. We are optimistic that we will be able to reschedule for later on in the summer, but for right now everything is on hold.
For people out of town, we very much want you to be a part of our day, and so we will provide as much advance notice as possible as soon as we are able to choose a new date.
We are devastated right now, but we know that in the near future we will be able to celebrate with our family and friends.
Please put out prayers and positivity for us, and we look forward to celebrating our wedding with you soon.
I would get rid of the first paragraph and start with the "Due to immigration issues...,". I get the point of your first paragraph, but think it could have the opposite affect you want.
Yes. If you have family anything like my family, they'll read the first sentence and sensationalize it and never make it to the end of the email.
Post by shamrockshake on May 28, 2015 8:55:38 GMT -5
I would switch around the first two sentences
I am very sad to say that due to a delay in visa processing, that is keeping D in Scotland for right now, we are unable to commit to our August 1 wedding date. We are still very much in love and we are still getting married. Unfortunately, when it comes to immigration issues, love isn't enough.
I would get rid of the first paragraph and start with the "Due to immigration issues...,". I get the point of your first paragraph, but think it could have the opposite affect you want.
Yes. If you have family anything like my family, they'll read the first sentence and sensationalize it and never make it to the end of the email.
This. And I'd also not say "devastated". While this is frustrating and a total PITA, using that word makes it sound like someone died. To add - I feel like that kind of wording is going to make people want to ask about it.
As far as not wanting to talk about it, all I can suggest is that when you do eventually see them, if they bring it up, just smile and say "Let's just leave all that in the past! Everything is worked out now and I'm so excited!" and then change the topic.
And I know I don't know you, but I have been following your story, and I am crossing my fingers so super hard for you that a miracle happens and you get the visa before Monday.
I would get rid of the first paragraph and start with the "Due to immigration issues...,". I get the point of your first paragraph, but think it could have the opposite affect you want.
Yes. If you have family anything like my family, they'll read the first sentence and sensationalize it and never make it to the end of the email.
This. And I'd also not say "devastated". While this is frustrating and a total PITA, using that word makes it sound like someone died. To add - I feel like that kind of wording is going to make people want to ask about it.
As far as not wanting to talk about it, all I can suggest is that when you do eventually see them, if they bring it up, just smile and say "Let's just leave all that in the past! Everything is worked out now and I'm so excited!" and then change the topic.
But nothing is worked out. There is nothing to be excited about. We're devastated. We were supposed to get married and finally get to be together. Now we don't know if I'll get to move there in November, or if it'll be another year.
I am very sad to say that due to a delay in visa processing, that is keeping D in Scotland for right now, we are unable to commit to our August 1 wedding date. We are still very much in love and we are still getting married. Unfortunately, when it comes to immigration issues, love isn't enough.
I like this, thank you.
I'll switch it around. I do see how it looks like I'm trying too hard to cover something up with the first sentence.
This. And I'd also not say "devastated". While this is frustrating and a total PITA, using that word makes it sound like someone died. To add - I feel like that kind of wording is going to make people want to ask about it.
As far as not wanting to talk about it, all I can suggest is that when you do eventually see them, if they bring it up, just smile and say "Let's just leave all that in the past! Everything is worked out now and I'm so excited!" and then change the topic.
But nothing is worked out. There is nothing to be excited about. We're devastated. We were supposed to get married and finally get to be together. Now we don't know if I'll get to move there in November, or if it'll be another year.
Well, I mean when you DO get married and these people come to the wedding. At that point, I'd assume things are relatively worked out - at least to the point you can get married?
I get it that you're devastated. My point is really mainly that if you don't want people asking about it, the less emotional you make it, the less they'll be concerned. But putting "devastated" in there will probably make people think about it more, worry about you, and want to make sure you're o.k.
I am very sad to say that due to a delay in visa processing, that is keeping D in Scotland for right now, we are unable to commit to our August 1 wedding date. We are still very much in love and we are still getting married. Unfortunately, when it comes to immigration issues, love isn't enough.
I like this better too. And I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just really hope it works out soon.
But nothing is worked out. There is nothing to be excited about. We're devastated. We were supposed to get married and finally get to be together. Now we don't know if I'll get to move there in November, or if it'll be another year.
I'm sorry this is happening. I'm naive; why would it be another year? Sorry, I know you don't want to talk about it, I'm just confused about that part.
I can talk about it here, it's ok. I just don't look forward to dealing with a million questions from everyone I know.
There's no timeline for when his documents have to be returned. Ideally, they say 6 months, but it's taken over a year for some people. We have no way to know when it'll be and no way to track progress. We can only wait.
I'm sorry this is happening. I'm naive; why would it be another year? Sorry, I know you don't want to talk about it, I'm just confused about that part.
I can talk about it here, it's ok. I just don't look forward to dealing with a million questions from everyone I know.
There's no timeline for when his documents have to be returned. Ideally, they say 6 months, but it's taken over a year for some people. We have no way to know when it'll be and no way to track progress. We can only wait.
This is so so so frustrating.
Can he physically go to the place where his paperwork is/supposed to be? Maybe he would get some very kind soul who couldn't turn him away? I can't believe in this day and age there is no way to track it.
I can talk about it here, it's ok. I just don't look forward to dealing with a million questions from everyone I know.
There's no timeline for when his documents have to be returned. Ideally, they say 6 months, but it's taken over a year for some people. We have no way to know when it'll be and no way to track progress. We can only wait.
Can you move as soon as he gets them or is there a waiting period? I suppose him staying in Canada isn't an option? I'm so sorry.
Oh there's a waiting period. Once we are legally married we have to wait ten weeks for the marriage certificate to be issued. Then I have to apply for my visa, which should take about 3 weeks, but could up to 12.
He can't come here because to get his passport back he would have to cancel his visa application, move to Nigeria (where he hasn't lived in ten years), and then start the visa process from there.
I'm sorry this is happening. I'm naive; why would it be another year? Sorry, I know you don't want to talk about it, I'm just confused about that part.
I can talk about it here, it's ok. I just don't look forward to dealing with a million questions from everyone I know.
There's no timeline for when his documents have to be returned. Ideally, they say 6 months, but it's taken over a year for some people. We have no way to know when it'll be and no way to track progress. We can only wait.
This sounds so freaking frustrating. I'm so sorry.
Can you go to him? Can you marry in Scotland? You're ok to travel, right? I know you want to have your wedding celebration but if it really comes to being another year - can you marry there and be together?
I can't imagine being so far apart I hope you get a resolution soon.
I can talk about it here, it's ok. I just don't look forward to dealing with a million questions from everyone I know.
There's no timeline for when his documents have to be returned. Ideally, they say 6 months, but it's taken over a year for some people. We have no way to know when it'll be and no way to track progress. We can only wait.
This sounds so freaking frustrating. I'm so sorry.
Can you go to him? Can you marry in Scotland? You're ok to travel, right? I know you want to have your wedding celebration but if it really comes to being another year - can you marry there and be together?
I can't imagine being so far apart I hope you get a resolution soon.
He sent away his government id with his application, so he has no id to apply for a license with.
Is there any way you could move to Scotland even without getting married? And both come back to get married next year?
(I'm sure you have thought about all those things already)
I know, I keep thinking I can solve the problem, lol. I guess Scotland doesn't have the same restrictions as the England wrt Canadian travellers. I thought it was easier.
Post by Monica Geller on May 28, 2015 9:35:12 GMT -5
I'm so sorry it's coming to this! I like shamrock's re-wording of the first paragraph. I think you're fine to say you're devastated. I'm still hoping for a last minute miracle for you.