Do you have a birth plan?

[brandienee]

I am curious. What do you think of plans? Do you have one? What is it?

Sure, it's important to expect the unexpected. But I feel like I would feel better with a written plan, call me a control freak. I feel like communicating my wishes are important, and having those wishes respected creates trust, in case things do go crazy and emergency interventions need to happen. My doctor, I found out, doesn't like plans. (Because, why? They make his job harder?) I don't blindly trust people, so we're going to have to sit down and discuss his policies and what he expects our working relationship to look like. I need boundaries. Lol.

I am just curious if I am alone here. Feel free to call me out on my craziness. I can be a bit of a control freak.

[pooh8402]

ha, working on mine at this very moment. however, it's not very firm, and it's more for my H than for my medical staff. I already know my doctor and nurses will respect what wishes I do have.

to tell the truth, most docs and nurses are not fans of birth plans, because a lot of moms, especially first time moms, are adamant that the plan be followed to the letter. so yes, it does make our job harder. the thought from the medical side is that the baby doesn't care about your plan, and that we are just trying to do what is best for you and for baby.

I believe that a plan should be more of a guideline--"this is what I would like" vs "this HAS to happen" and that it is helpful if the parents are open to discussion throughout the process.

for instance, mine includes things like being allowed to labor as long as baby and I are doing okay (which is in line with current ACOG guidelines and my hospital is notorious for doing c/s for "failure to progress" ), I would like my waters broken naturally (once waters are broken, the clock starts ticking--baby HAS to be out within 24 hours due to infection risk), vacuum extraction is okay, forceps are not (forceps are much higher risk). stuff like that.

[konapoppy]

Northern Exposure taught me the most important four words of my birth plan: I want my epidural.


But seriously, I plan to have very few requests as I trust my OB to do what is in the best interest of me and baby (only two docs in my practice, so not a big guess on who will do the delivery). She is the expert here. If I sense something wrong, I will speak up.

[miamigirl]

I don't have one yet. I'm not really sure what a birth plan should include (haven't taken birthing classes yet).

[dcn]

For my son my plan was to get the baby out and keep both of us safe. So not really....I did plan to avoid drugs as long as possible, which I did.

Same plan this time.

[brandienee]

I don't care what the baby thinks of my birth plan. Lol. I care that I have a calming and supportive environment. For me, trust is built through mutual understanding. I don't want to battle with people, it's going to be stressful enough as it is. I can't trust a medical professional that doesn't take time to listen to me and discuss options. A plan helps me calm my chronic anxiety as well as allows for me to communicate what I would like, because who knows what doctor I am going to get.

My plan probably won't be a "here are things that have to happen" list, but I want to make sure that we have a good working relationship and we understand each other.

[toutsuite]

No birth plan here...ds1s birth needed to be a c-sec no matter what. When shit got real, I had the c-sec and that was that. Nothing happened how I planned so it was more coming to terms with what needed to be. I had a post partem hemorrhage too and if I hadn't trusted my doctor to do what was best for me and ds, the outcome could have been significantly different.

This time around I need to have a rcs given the type of incision I previously had so again no birth plan for me other than showing up at the right place at the right time on the right day.

[fezzik]

I will have to dig out my old birth plan because I plan to use the same one again. The hospital actually encouraged having one and gave me a blank one to fill out (it had different suggestions listed on it as well).

I know my last one said I would like the lights dimmed and I did not want to be offered any pain medication and I did not want to be asked about my pain level. I also wanted to be able to move around freely and be in the position that was most comfortable for me. I also wanted immediate skin to skin and delayed cord clamping (I didn't get this one because L was born with a true knot in her cord, so it had to be immediately cut and they had to check her to make sure she was ok. She also wasn't crying when she was born. Obviously I'm not upset about that wish being unfulfilled since her safety was at risk.)

I handed my plan to them when I got there and they never said a word about it, they just read it and went along with what I wanted. I was glad to have a birth plan.

[dearprudence]

Mine wasn't about environment as much as ideal scenarios and how to get there. Which usually just involved letting my nurses know my wishes and letting them be my advocates. Like ideally I didn't want a c-section, so I went straight for an epidural instead of IV meds.

The only other thing I really wanted was for DH to announce the sex, and they were really good about helping me with that too.

[meltoine]

I'm a fan of birth plans, but as an education tool for the parents, not necessarily to be given to care providers. I think there's a lot of value in looking at all the interventions you may be presented with during labor and birth, the pros and cons to each, and deciding what you're comfortable with. There's also immense value is discussing these with your partner so s/he can support you and advocate for your wishes when you're in labor.

TBH, it seems like most doctors and nurses don't read birth plans and even if they did, they have several patients at a time so the odds of them not confusing your plan with Susie Q next door are slim. Your better bet is to be educated on what's available to you and have a support person who can communicate your wishes directly with the staff while you're busy laboring.

[MrsAggie]

pooh8402 Nooo! Say it isn't so! Nurses' curse + birth plan.

[Deleted]

I wrote a birth plan the first time mostly so my h and I were on the same page. It was so optimistic, like I wrote no epidural. LOL. But when the doctor broke my water, I asked for the epi and it was great! My h and I were happy we didn't give the birth plan printout to the nurse. We just went over some things orally. I think some people who are so focused on their labor and delivery going a very certain way often end up disappointed easily. I'm not saying this is wrong or anything but I personally cared more about having a safe delivery and baby at the end, not the process itself. I trust the medical professionals to know what's the best thing to do for me and my baby.

[Blackout81]

I did last time - I was going to have a beautiful, intervention-free labor and delivery. Ha. I sometimes joke I got the labor I wanted but not the delivery.

I think it's really good to know what you want and to explore your options through reading and talking with other moms and professionals (Drs, midwives, doulas, etc), but I always knew and definitely reinforced the hard way that expectations can't be too set in stone. You really have to surrender yourself to the process, there is nothing but unknowns in childbirth.

That being said, if it's determined that I can do a trial of labor for VBAC, I will absolutely have my supports in place. However, I will go in knowing full well that all of it could be scrapped by the smallest uncontrollable change in events. If I have a scheduled c, I will ensure I work with my midwives to make it as gentle on me and the baby as possible.

[Blackout81]

I also think it's important for moms to understand what can be refused (like forceps) vs what they'd *prefer* not to have (like an epi).

I am a big advocate for informed birth and know very well that a huge amount of C-sections in the U.S. are completely unnecessary because many moms are not informed enough to fight them. Same with episiotomies - they are common routine at many hospitals when they are often completely unnecessary and can make recovery worse.

Other things that really are optional to consider - IV as soon as you enter the hospital (you should absolutely be able to opt just for a hep lock), constant, continuous monitoring of contractions and your blood pressure, frequent internal checks, being told NOT to push (I know quite a few people who went through this - there is no law that you have to wait for a dr, if your body says push, unless there's a true medical reason not to, you can push), not being allowed to move around during labor, I'm sure there are more. I feel very strongly about these things - and I don't think there's anything wrong with a mom being okay with them but I also don't think moms should be shamed, ridiculed, or bullied with fear into anything they don't want, which I really believe happens far too often.

[dojo]

I have to have one with my hospital. They made my sister fill hers out in the throes of labour.

I'm pretty laid back about what happens - the only things I really care about are starting breast feeding as soon as possible, skin to skin and DH does not want to cut the cord.

I'm not married to anything though.

[pooh8402]

Jun 1, 2015 23:03:51 GMT -5 MrsAggie said:

pooh8402 Nooo! Say it isn't so! Nurses' curse + birth plan.

It's for DH. Per his request. I do not plan on showing it to my coworkers. OMG, I'd die if they knew.

[pooh8402]

Jun 1, 2015 23:01:01 GMT -5 meltoine said:

I'm a fan of birth plans, but as an education tool for the parents, not necessarily to be given to care providers. I think there's a lot of value in looking at all the interventions you may be presented with during labor and birth, the pros and cons to each, and deciding what you're comfortable with. There's also immense value is discussing these with your partner so s/he can support you and advocate for your wishes when you're in labor.

TBH, it seems like most doctors and nurses don't read birth plans and even if they did, they have several patients at a time so the odds of them not confusing your plan with Susie Q next door are slim. Your better bet is to be educated on what's available to you and have a support person who can communicate your wishes directly with the staff while you're busy laboring.

Exactly. Mine is for DH and DH alone.

[jennistarr1]

Reading this makes me regretful that I did not resist them breaking my water and having a csectiion. I really don't like how my birth experienced went. They did a csectiion 11 hours after water breaking, 15 hours after beginning of induction. I wish I could have held them off a while.

[Kit]

Drugs.

Drugs are my birth plan.

[ellipsis]

I haven't put a whole lot of thought into it yet because there is still a possibility I will have a scheduled C due to placenta previa. If I can get out of a C, I will definitely have some "demands" (epidural!!!!) and some "requests" (delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin). I am not going to go nuts about it arguing with someone who has infinite more amounts of medical knowledge than me.

I guess I also don't really know what all of my options are too. The form I was given from the hospital just asks about cord banking, who cuts the cord, tearing naturally or being cut (if necessary, *shudder*). Is there like a checklist I should look in to??

[brandienee]

Jun 2, 2015 8:33:02 GMT -5 ellipsis said:

I haven't put a whole lot of thought into it yet because there is still a possibility I will have a scheduled C due to placenta previa. If I can get out of a C, I will definitely have some "demands" (epidural!!!!) and some "requests" (delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin). I am not going to go nuts about it arguing with someone who has infinite more amounts of medical knowledge than me.

I guess I also don't really know what all of my options are too. The form I was given from the hospital just asks about cord banking, who cuts the cord, tearing naturally or being cut (if necessary, *shudder*). Is there like a checklist I should look in to??

My hospital has a website with good guidelines for a birth plan. Which is helpful. Maybe yours does too? Otherwise I've been googling birth plans from others and reading a ton of information. The research part of my English major is kicking in hardcore.

[wanderingenough]

I saw that my hospital had one on the website where you could click your responses to the general things people have on their birth plans. I'll prob do that and print it for H's benefit since he hasn't done the research I have to know what the various options are, but I'm trying not to feel locked into anything. Luckily my OB is notorious for her lack of unnecessary interventions (part of the reason I fought my way into her care), so if she is on call that night I'm comfortable letting her take the lead.

[slcjess]

I'm not great at last-minute changes, so I probably won't have one other than get me all the drugs and get it out. Haha. I'm sure as the time draws closer, we will discuss options, but I want to try to be as relaxed as possible, and I can see myself freaking out if something doesn't go according to 'plan'

[preppy]

I hadn't thought about this. My big plan is to have a baby and get an epidural. I just searched and my hospital has a questionnaire with a few basic questions they ask you to bring in. I will fill it out, but its pretty straight forward. Basically who is allowed in the room, do you want to be offered drugs, and do you want to use the jacuzzi tubs (available to labor in only not birthing).

Correct me if I am wrong but I can't fit in the rub with an epi right? I would only be able to use that until I wanted the epi? I can see that being nice until I am ready for drugs.

[Susie]

So far my plan is very generic: have a baby, and with as few interventions as possible. I need to learn more about the specific interventions, the whens and the whys, so I can be informed. I will go over it with Calvin and a doula if I have one, and they can advocate for me. That's about the extent of my plan though. I don't expect to bring a written plan or show one to the medical team. Partly because I don't want to be That Patient, and partly because I don't want my "plan" to be too rigid. My impression is that the women with the most specific and rigid plans tend to be the ones least satisfied with their birth experiences because any variation from the plan is a failure of some scope. I'm trying to keep the end game in the forefront.

ETA:  Actually, I do have one part that's rigid.  No calls to family (particularly family that is local and therefore at risk of showing up at the hospital unannounced) until after the baby is born, and no FB updates during labor.

[preppy]

Jun 2, 2015 9:50:12 GMT -5 Susie said:

So far my plan is very generic: have a baby, and with as few interventions as possible. I need to learn more about the specific interventions, the whens and the whys, so I can be informed. I will go over it with Calvin and a doula if I have one, and they can advocate for me. That's about the extent of my plan though. I don't expect to bring a written plan or show one to the medical team. Partly because I don't want to be That Patient, and partly because I don't want my "plan" to be too rigid. My impression is that the women with the most specific and rigid plans tend to be the ones least satisfied with their birth experiences because any variation from the plan is a failure of some scope. I'm trying to keep the end game in the forefront.

ETA:  Actually, I do have one part that's rigid.  No calls to family (particularly family that is local and therefore at risk of showing up at the hospital unannounced) until after the baby is born, and no FB updates during labor.

YES. This is my plan too. Tell no one!!

[lindsaymg]

Jun 2, 2015 10:01:26 GMT -5 preppy said:

Jun 2, 2015 9:50:12 GMT -5 Susie said:

So far my plan is very generic: have a baby, and with as few interventions as possible. I need to learn more about the specific interventions, the whens and the whys, so I can be informed. I will go over it with Calvin and a doula if I have one, and they can advocate for me. That's about the extent of my plan though. I don't expect to bring a written plan or show one to the medical team. Partly because I don't want to be That Patient, and partly because I don't want my "plan" to be too rigid. My impression is that the women with the most specific and rigid plans tend to be the ones least satisfied with their birth experiences because any variation from the plan is a failure of some scope. I'm trying to keep the end game in the forefront.

ETA:  Actually, I do have one part that's rigid.  No calls to family (particularly family that is local and therefore at risk of showing up at the hospital unannounced) until after the baby is born, and no FB updates during labor.

YES. This is my plan too. Tell no one!!

This is what sucks about the scheduled C Section. Everyone already knows when it is going to happen. Ugh. My original preference before the placenta previa (move already placenta!) was to only tell my dad and step mom and only because they would be my childcare for DS.

Now I will have to deal with everyone texting us even if we don't respond and the inevitable people just showing up.

[pooh8402]

Jun 2, 2015 10:01:26 GMT -5 preppy said:

Jun 2, 2015 9:50:12 GMT -5 Susie said:

So far my plan is very generic: have a baby, and with as few interventions as possible. I need to learn more about the specific interventions, the whens and the whys, so I can be informed. I will go over it with Calvin and a doula if I have one, and they can advocate for me. That's about the extent of my plan though. I don't expect to bring a written plan or show one to the medical team. Partly because I don't want to be That Patient, and partly because I don't want my "plan" to be too rigid. My impression is that the women with the most specific and rigid plans tend to be the ones least satisfied with their birth experiences because any variation from the plan is a failure of some scope. I'm trying to keep the end game in the forefront.

ETA:  Actually, I do have one part that's rigid.  No calls to family (particularly family that is local and therefore at risk of showing up at the hospital unannounced) until after the baby is born, and no FB updates during labor.

YES. This is my plan too. Tell no one!!

ugh, I wish. DH wants to tell the whole damn world and wants them waiting in the waiting room. we compromised on immediate family only.

[lindsaymg]

Random story about hospital visitors from the birth of DS-- My brother brought his girlfriend in when he visited. A girlfriend I had never met. Not the moment homie.

[ebeth]

I wasn't going to make one because I selected my practices based in part on their general approach to labor and delivery and I trust them implicitly.

But then I was reading something about what you should put in your birth plan and there was a bunch of crap I hadn't even thought about, especially related to medical care for baby that H and I need to discuss.

So I'll probably write some stuff down, mostly for H to reference. Maybe to share with the nurses? I don't know about that. I'd assume they'd be less hostile and eye rolly given the general philosophy of the hospital but who knows.