Adding more words so it's not so visible for those who don't want to read. I need to say this somewhere other than her grave.
The only marker she has is the stupid red pinwheel flower I put out, that's now sunken so far down it's barely visible, and the flowers I brought today. She was supposed to have her marker in April, and then in June, since they forgot to order it. And I knew before I went out that it wasn't there, but I'm just so angry. So angry that she doesn't have one. So angry that she needs one. So angry that I can't remember if I kissed her little hands and feet. So angry that I had an hour after she was already gone to hold her and that's it. So angry that I'm not on my couch, miserably pregnant, waiting for her arrival next week. So angry that I'm not putting the finishing touches on her nursery, washing the clothes her sisters wore, in preparation for her arrival. This isn't how it's supposed to be. I'm just so angry. And it hurts so much.