This would fit in the irrationally judging thread, but in the interest of starting fresh... My aunt/uncle/cousins are visiting from the Atlanta suburbs this week. 20 year old cousin's 20 year old girlfriend came along with them. I'm excited that I'll get to show them around NY -- particularly because girlfriend has apparently never been north of Georgia. WHAT? I mean, I know that's possible but it makes me sad that by age 20 she hasn't gone somewhere -- anywhere! -- that isn't the south. I'm kind of judging her parents for that. Though I know absolutely nothing about her parents.
Confessionish? I have this very lovely but incredibly fabulous friend. I rarely see her because while she nominally lives in New York, she's never here (child of a Forbes lister, rarely has a job, spends lots of time traveling the world instead of working). She texted me last week to see what we were doing on the Fourth of July, and I'm 95% sure the reason I got the text is because I'm probably her only friend who is unfabulous enough to spend Fourth of July weekend in NY instead of somewhere fabulous. At any rate, I kind of hate myself for this but if any other guest came over I'd just serve my ordinary box wine, but I actually went out to buy bottled wine to hide my unfabulosity. Which goes against everything I believe about not giving fancier people fancier gifts and all of that. We then went to dinner and she insisted on paying for it (including a friend of ours she had never met who joined us last minute), so I guess she knows that we belong in her friendship scholarship program. She is incredibly lovely and nice and generous, but I hate that I will probably always feel incredibly self-conscious and inferior around her.
When I wear something new, my obnoxious young coworker always asks me if whatever I'm wearing is new. I always say no because I don't want to talk about where I got it/when I went shopping/how much it costs/etc. Part of me just doesn't want to talk to her and part of me is too embarrassed to tell little size zero where I bought my plus size clothes.
I can't get it up for the non-traveler. My dear friend didn't go on her first plane ride until she was 23. Growing up, everyone I knew spent their summers at a cottage "up north" (Michigan, yo) and many families would just drive if they vacationed elsewhere.
And looking back I'm surprised my family even took the few trips we did as my parents were paying for 3 kids to play travel sports.
However, I totally can relate to your second topic.
I'm kind of plane ride/schmane ride -- just think it is good to get into another area of the country and/or to a major city before you're an adult. DC isn't far from Georgia, for example!
Post by sometimesrunner on Jul 6, 2015 11:32:23 GMT -5
Reading your post makes me really want to be a part of a friendship scholarship program. lol Although I know in reality I would feel self-conscious the entire time. I need to get over this so I can eat amazing food and travel fabulous places on the regular! lol
Does girlfriend come from a family that can afford travel? $200 r/t fares add up with a family, plus rental cars, hotels, etc. If the parents didn't have a lot of extra money, or values things other than travel, I can see it easily.
When I was a kid and didn't understand things like socioeconomic class, I remember being shocked that my best friend had never left the state. Their only "vacations" had been to nearby parks. She had never been to the beach. I remember in 9th grade we had our school trip to DC, and she was all excited at the beginning of the year. When it rolled around, she said she vaunted her mind and didn't want to go.
Looking back with my adult glasses on, her family was struggling. They lived in a tiny house in the not-so-great neighborhood (plus other signs I didn't see them). I feel kinda bad that I was the naive little kid just shocked that they never went to the beach and that she didn't even think about college.
That all said, I was 18 before I went north of DC and my only trip west of Nashville was to San Fransisco. Of course, plane travel was more expensive in the 70s and 80s, so there is that.
When I wear something new, my obnoxious young coworker always asks me if whatever I'm wearing is new. I always say no because I don't want to talk about where I got it/when I went shopping/how much it costs/etc. Part of me just doesn't want to talk to her and part of me is too embarrassed to tell little size zero where I bought my plus size clothes.
I undestand this 100%. I've recently started shopping in the plus section and I've had several non-plus sized people ask me where I got things. I've lied to them :? I like to think that this is because I'm embarassed about my recent weight gain and would get over it eventually if I stay this size, but IDK.
I judge you for judging a 20 year old who hasn't traveled. I only left my home state when my grandfather would send my mother a bus ticket to visit him. Trust me, it sure wasn't lack of desire or curiosity that kept me from traveling. In college, I was fortunate enough to study abroad in multiple programs and as an adult have been able to travel frequently. I shouldn't be, but I am always amazed at the lack of awareness some of you show. Not everyone grew up in a family that could afford trips; even road trips to the nearest national park.
The only non-travelers I judge are the ones that clearly have the means to do it and a partner that loves travel but refuse to go anywhere. I know several people like that.
If it hadn't been for my dad's job with the airlines we wouldn't have been able to travel when I was a kid, other than driving to visit family in Missouri. We had no money. By the time I was in jr. high and high school it was better, but if we didn't get free flights we wouldn't have gone anywhere.
My flameful confession - I judge drinking to excess on a regular basis once you pass about 35. Maybe 30. I'll give ppl their 20s (lord knows I had my fair share), but job holding, home owning, productive member of society still getting drunk several times a week. Not just a couple glasses of wine in the evening, but like a bottle or two a night.
Or maybe, I should say I judge my friend's drinking habits. And I really wish she would find another way to deal with her problems.
My flameful confession - I judge drinking to excess on a regular basis once you pass about 35. Maybe 30. I'll give ppl their 20s (lord knows I had my fair share), but job holding, home owning, productive member of society still getting drunk several times a week. Not just a couple glasses of wine in the evening, but like a bottle or two a night.
Or maybe, I should say I judge my friend's drinking habits. And I really wish she would find another way to deal with her problems.
I don't understand the people around my age (30s), or older, that brag about getting drunk or how hungover they will be because they're going to drink. I don't see a reason to brag about it.
When I wear something new, my obnoxious young coworker always asks me if whatever I'm wearing is new. I always say no because I don't want to talk about where I got it/when I went shopping/how much it costs/etc. Part of me just doesn't want to talk to her and part of me is too embarrassed to tell little size zero where I bought my plus size clothes.
Is this the coworker who grills other coworkers on their absences that you posted about? I was wondering whatever happened in that situation. Or was that another poster?
No idea what this girl's socioeconomic status is (except that she is from a wealthy town and goes to an expensive college -- but those can be red herrings). If her family doesn't have means, then no judgment from me. But if they do, I feel different.
Either way, I don't judge *her* -- but I do feel that parents should try to expose their children to a bit beyond their home state if they can.
I lost my wallet in Target over the weekend and someone turned it in and didn't even take my cash. So amazing. I don't love the South, but I would have never gotten all my stuff back in my hometown. Just being honest.
Also, it's weird as hell for someone from Georgia to not even have been as far north as the Carolinas. No Charleston, no Hilton Head, no Asheville, no Outer Banks? Weird. Okay those former two might are likely South of most of North GA, but still.
Eta - obviously, assuming the means. Don't flame me, bro.
When I wear something new, my obnoxious young coworker always asks me if whatever I'm wearing is new. I always say no because I don't want to talk about where I got it/when I went shopping/how much it costs/etc. Part of me just doesn't want to talk to her and part of me is too embarrassed to tell little size zero where I bought my plus size clothes.
Is this the coworker who grills other coworkers on their absences that you posted about? I was wondering whatever happened in that situation. Or was that another poster?Â
Same coworker. The day before I took time off, I ran across a pretty big mistake that she made so I pointed it out to her. She ended up not speaking to me for about a week so I didn't have to deal with her questions. Win win. Lol!
My flameful confession - I judge drinking to excess on a regular basis once you pass about 35. Maybe 30. I'll give ppl their 20s (lord knows I had my fair share), but job holding, home owning, productive member of society still getting drunk several times a week. Not just a couple glasses of wine in the evening, but like a bottle or two a night.
By that standard, I'll be a productive member of society when I'm like 60. Maybe.
Honestly, though, if she's drinking to deal with problems, that's a whole 'nother ball of wax than drinking for fun is, no matter what age you are.
My flameful confession - I judge drinking to excess on a regular basis once you pass about 35. Maybe 30. I'll give ppl their 20s (lord knows I had my fair share), but job holding, home owning, productive member of society still getting drunk several times a week. Not just a couple glasses of wine in the evening, but like a bottle or two a night.
By that standard, I'll be a productive member of society when I'm like 60. Maybe.
Honestly, though, if she's drinking to deal with problems, that's a whole 'nother ball of wax than drinking for fun is, no matter what age you are.
I actually though of you when I was typing. But I'm guessing you don't have a bottle or 2 sitting at home alone and/or go out to the local bar by yourself to have a bottle or two. And chances are, you haven't had a medical diagnosis directly related to alcohol use.
By that standard, I'll be a productive member of society when I'm like 60. Maybe.
Honestly, though, if she's drinking to deal with problems, that's a whole 'nother ball of wax than drinking for fun is, no matter what age you are.
I actually though of you when I was typing. But I'm guessing you don't have a bottle or 2 sitting at home alone and/or go out to the local bar by yourself to have a bottle or two. And chances are, you haven't had a medical diagnosis directly related to alcohol use.
This sounds like an actual problem -- I'd try very hard not to judge and to move into support/listen/help mode as best you can.
Ok since no one has started a randoms thread since freaking THURSDAY!! I'm posting this here so I don't have to hold onto it anymore!
2 pink lines that's all
On Thursday, I had the absolute faintest of lines so much so I thought Mr. Foodie would give me a patronizing look when I showed him...we were cautiously optimistic. Went to the grocery store for July 4 supplies, and there's this kid who seemed a little different (in the slightly autistic sort of way) he walked up to me in frozen foods, and said "do you have a baby?" I just smiled and said "no" then continued talking to Mr. Foodie about which size of whatever we were buying to get etc.
He didn't drop it, he asked me again, "do you have a baby?" no again..he asked a third time before his grandmother coralled him and kept him near her. Now he was probably asking because I'm over weight and carry it in the belly area, but it still freaked me the hell out!
I do believe that kids can perceive things that adults cannot, because our minds are too cluttered. The first time we were pregnant, our nephew who was just walking, came right between my legs and rubbed my belly, put his cheek against me and then rubbed it again before just wandering off.
Anyway, so there. There's my news. Can't believe you guys made me wait 5 days!
And I didn't start a randoms thread myself because I didn't want 4 pages of congratulations....I just want to share. I'll celebrate if we make it to the 6 week mark this time. We've never made it that far before.
Congratulations!!!! I'm so happy and excited for you!
Our 3 year old DD1 learned the song "I'm Sexy and I Know It" this weekend when we were anchored at a sand bar and swimming. That evening, she serenaded our friends with the song, I'm turning it into "I'm DD1 and I know it".
Maybe it's just I don't know what to do. She won't talk. She won't listen. I've tried talking to her. She says she is fine. She says she just likes to have fun. And the medical issue - her doctor is wrong about. Oh, and I'm the only one concerned. Everyone else plans drinking events with her. So it's just me and my teetotaler ways.
And the result is I don't want to spend any time with her and I feel like she is ruining ever time we do go out. And I don't want to be her DD bc she gets sick really easily.
And yeah, I've been waiting for a place to bury this and talk about it bc I just am tired of it, but also hate that it's like this.
Eh, I can't judge parents for not giving their kids the opportunity to travel. My parents had five kids between the two of them. They furthest we ventured out of the Midwest was North Carolina and that only happened once. They did educate the hell out of us though. I'd almost bet, despite my lack of family vacations, I knew more about the world at 18 than a number of my peers who were well-traveled.