Hi all - I am looking at apartments/rooms for rent so that I can possibly move out of our house (although no paperwork has been filed, but I just can't stand to see his face any more).
I think I might be able to convince him to move over to the other side of the house, but I can't imagine how awkward it's going to be to stay in the same house with him
I don't think I can afford a mortgage and an apartment at the same time. What did you do for your living arrangements once you decided to split? Did you file first and then move out?
I filed in March 2012 and we lived together during the process. I finally moved out in April 2013. But, we have kids so that complicated things. I couldn't take them with me and move out earlier and I wasn't going to leave without them. It did suck at times, but we basically acted like roommates only.
In SC, you can't file until you've been living "separate and apart" for 365 days
WHAT?!
This is my nightmare. I'm returning from a business trip tomorrow, so I think I need to get with a lawyer ASAP.
I think we're going to have to list the house and get that settled before we file anyway - it's the only financial thing we have in common (no kids or other joint purchases).
We decided to split mid January and he couldn't get into an apartment until March 10th, so we still lived together for about two months. I stayed on the couch and he kept the bedroom until he moved out. We were on good terms and still watched tv and ate dinner together, but I can't imagine continuing to go on like that without an end in sight. I could afford our two bedroom apartment on my own and I helped him with a budget, so he knew what he could afford and he found an apartment to fit in that budget.
Post by verycontrary247 on Jul 29, 2015 8:07:46 GMT -5
We lived "together but separated" for about a week before he lost his mind and freaked out. A lot of my things we're destroyed and I had to call the police, so, from experience I say its a bad idea. We broke the lease and I moved in with my parents.
In NC you can't file until you have been living separate and apart for 366 days. We sold our house and moved into two separate apartments.
Separation twins!
How much longer do you have? I'm down to 26 days before I can file and then another 60 at most for a court date. Thank god the light is finally at the end of the tunnel! The south is so crazy how it makes you wait a year.
I'm in SC too. Since I'm filing on adultery we don't have to be apart for the full year. He moved out in February, but I slept in my sons room for about 2 months before he finally moved. We basically lived as roommates for a long time before he left.
How much longer do you have? I'm down to 26 days before I can file and then another 60 at most for a court date. Thank god the light is finally at the end of the tunnel! The south is so crazy how it makes you wait a year.
My lease on my apartment started October 15 so I guess October 16. The SC court website has a thing where you can answer questions and it fills in the necessary forms for you if you don't have any assets/debt to divide so I'll be doing that.
Bible belt.
I know, ridiculous! Sounds like yours should be pretty straight forward. Where in SC are you? I didn't realize you were so close!
Post by dawnzersong on Jul 29, 2015 8:31:07 GMT -5
Neither of us can afford to stay in our house alone, so we'll be living together for the next few months. I bought a condo a few years before we were married that we're currently renting out. Our tenant's lease is up in October so I'll just move in there once she's gone, and we'll sell our house and he'll get an apartment. It's been pretty weird adjusting to life as roommates, but to be honest now that I'm starting to recover from his announcement that he wants to split, a lot of tension that I hadn't even realized was there has been lifted. I feel like we've been better friends to each other over the last week than we have been in a long time. We did establish some ground rules for getting through the next few months, most importantly no dating or hooking up with other people while we're still living together. As long as things continue in this vein, I'll stay until my condo's available. If either of us starts to feel uncomfortable with this arrangement, I'll go to my parents. While it's difficult, I think this is the best arrangement for now- we don't feel pressured to get everything figured out RIGHT NOW and we can take our time separating our stuff and disentangling our lives in an orderly fashion.
I lived with my XH for almost 3 months after our split. We sold our house but until it closed, we needed to keep paying the mortgage and couldn't afford that plus rent elsewhere. We had a split level so it actually wasn't too bad - he stayed downstairs and had his own bathroom/bedroom there, and I was upstairs, so we just had to share the kitchen (and I had to walk through his space to let my dogs out). We hung out sometimes, which was probably not the best idea because it was a bit confusing emotionally. But otherwise we just avoided each other and actually probably fought less during that time than we did during our actual marriage because we were both tiptoeing around each other.
It wasn't the most fun time of my life but I'm glad we went that route because I would have been in a lot worse financial shape if we hadn't.
I kicked him out and stayed in the house. It was a struggle but I was able to pay the mortgage for about a year and a half before we finally sold the house.
Post by Mrs.Rad888 on Jul 29, 2015 21:46:11 GMT -5
I was on my way home at the end of a 7 1/2 month deployment, and about 2 months before I got home I told him we were done and he needed to find somewhere else to live. I didn't foresee any problems being able to afford the rent, since I was the one who had been paying it anyway. He tried to huff and puff and tell me that maybe I need to be the one to move out, but since the majority of the furniture was mine, and I was most likely to get custody of DD, and he couldn't hold a job, after he was done swinging his dick around, he made arrangements to rent a room from a friend.
Also, he made sure to dig up the rose bushes when he moved. He was the one that wanted them, and he must have known that I would turn them in to mulch. He didn't take the dogs he adopted without checking with me, because even though I hadn't wanted them, obviously I wasn't going to hurt or abandon them. I did manage to rehome them, and he never asked about them.
Now, he's on divorce #4, and I get to hear him piss and moan about it because his Facebook is wide open. He's currently living in a camper while his XW is living in the home they were renting with their DDs.
He moved out and I am still in the house. I am paying the mortgage although I know he is still legally obligated to pay. I would like to get a roommate to ease the financial burden a bit, but he's fighting me on the house (wants to sell, I don't), so now that plan is up in the air.
When I filed we were in a rented apt, so I just moved out into a new apt. When it was time to renew the lease(a few months later), the LL didn't because they didn't want him there any longer. No owned property or kids made it easier.
Post by redshoejune on Aug 2, 2015 17:33:30 GMT -5
From the day I found out he was cheating until a few days before our divorce was final he slept in the basement and I slept upstairs near the kids. It was about 5 months. I still have the house.
He asked foe a divorce 5/5. I filed 6/24 because I do not want to stay where I am not wanted. We both live in the same house with DD. As soon as it sell I will move out with DD. He was suppose to move out 8/1 but did not. He was/is seeing a coworker so I wonder if there is trouble there. The divorce can be final 9/24 but the house needs to sell first. I will not sight until we have something I can live with on that front.
How much longer do you have? I'm down to 26 days before I can file and then another 60 at most for a court date. Thank god the light is finally at the end of the tunnel! The south is so crazy how it makes you wait a year.
My lease on my apartment started October 15 so I guess October 16. The SC court website has a thing where you can answer questions and it fills in the necessary forms for you if you don't have any assets/debt to divide so I'll be doing that.
Bible belt.
In Oklahoma, you don't have to wait to file, but you can't get remarried for six months unless you remarry the dude you just divorced. Otherwise, it's polygamy. Oh Oklahoma.