"Settling" for a higher weight

[hokiegirl82]

Have you gotten to a point in life where you settle for a higher weight in order to still enjoy the things you love to eat/drink? I'm 32, my son is almost 14 months, and I'm finally getting to losing the 20 pounds of baby weight I still have to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. The thing is, my pre-preg weight (145) was about 10-15 pounds over the weight I would really like to be in my head (130-135).

I lost about 60 pounds back in 2007-2008 to get down to 135, and managed to keep a lot of it off, but I've struggled with gaining and losing the same 10-15 pounds in the years since. I find it really really hard to maintain a weight in the 130-135 range, but it isn't so hard to be 140-145. I'm only 5 feet tall so I should weigh much less, but I'm not looking to be 100 pounds.

I guess the whole point of this is, I'm thinking about getting down to 140-145 then maintaining from there. Even though I know I can weigh less, I become miserable trying to stay in the 130s, and I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I want to be healthy and fit but still be able to enjoy the things I love (alcohol, some treats, bread) in moderation. If I want to weigh less I really have to restrict what I eat, and I'm not sure I want that anymore.

So, would you ever settle for a higher weight in order to eat and drink more of the things you enjoy, or will it always be about achieving that low weight and being skinny? I'm starting to accept the fact that I will be chubby but I can still be healthy and fit.

[PeonyParty]

I know what you mean. And yes, I settle so I can eat more or what I want and not worry so much. I end up being so consumed with everything all the time when I keep myself at a lower weight. So for now, I stay active, eat fairly healthy, but also leave room for junk and sweets.
Mentally, it's much healthier for me. And I try to focus on how I look/feel vs. a number.

[thatgirl2478]

Yep. I'm ok with it. Not the weight I am now, but if I could hit 150 I'd be OK with it. All my other health numbers are good (cholesterol, blood pressure, blood glucose, etc) so even though I should be around 140 I'd be Ok with being 150 (I'm not there yet...).

[Deleted]

145 is your settling weight?

[rugbywife]

Yes. Once upon a time I managed 150lbs. I don't think that is realistic anymore. I am concerned 160lbs isn't either but am going to give it a shot.

[ijack]

I've been thinking about it a lot lately too. I also feel like if I spent the time working on liking my body instead of trying to lose weight it would be better for me in the long run. But I don't really know how to do that.

[hokiegirl82]

Jul 29, 2015 15:52:00 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

145 is your settling weight?

Believe me, 145 on me looks like way more than it sounds. I'm only 5 feet tall and every 5 pounds looks like an extra 15 around my middle.

[lg28]

Absolutely.

My "ideal" body weight according to height, BMI, etc is around 135lbs. I am currently 153 and would like to get to 145, but I've accepted 135 won't happen post-Babies.

I am 5'5".

[game blouses]

I'm starting to. My lowest weight of my adult life was 170 (I'm almost 6 ft, but still), and now I'm hovering around 190. I'd love to be at 180, love love love to be at 170, but as long as I'm working out and eating well I'm not hassling myself about it.

ETA: The difference between my current weight and my goal weight is one jeans size, so it's easier for me to rationalize, lol.

[housewife]

I'm short and feel like every lb shows. I prefer my body at 120lbs. However, that means I have account for every tic tac and it's just not worth it to me. 135-139 is what I am when I eat like absolute crap and do zero exercise. I feel like anywhere between 125-130 is best for me overall. I still have to eat right and exercise, but I can have burgers and beer too.

[Champagne Supernova]

I know what you mean and I just try to focus on the way I look versus what the scale says or the number on the tag of the clothes I'm wearing. Focus on maintaining.

I love food waaaaaay too much.

[poopedydoop]

I am 5'2 and recently MyFitnessPal'ed myself down to 119, which should be normal for my height, but I am fucking hungry. I'm not sure it's worth it.

[Deleted]

I just downed a giant iced coffee boba drink because my usually charmed life is just too hard right now, so fuck my pre-diabetes.

NEVER GOING TO BE 145.

[boxerdog]

Yes, I was JUST thinking this the other day. As long as the scale doesn't start creeping back up, I might just say fuck it and enjoy my wine.

[Deleted]

For the record, 145 was my wedding weight.

[flex]

I think it's perfectly fine and a good decision to settle for a certain weight.

Word of caution: it's really hard to maintain your weight after menopause (50's).  MUCH harder than it is in your 30's and 40's.

[nahoku]

I totally get you - I'm also a 5 footer who lost around 60 pounds in 2012. I've gained back 10-20 of those in the past two years, depending on the day  I've been losing and relosing the same 5-10 pounds for months now and it's a pain the butt and, yeah, I wish I was thinner and stronger, but for now, it just is what it is. I'm not ready to "settle" yet, but I'm also not ready to commit to losing weight like I did initially.  

I was just thinking the other day about what my "happy" weight would be - where I could still feel like I was enjoying food and drinks but still work out and eat decently the majority of the time. I keep changing it. I think I could be happy with where I am, but like I said, I'm not quite ready.

[cabbagecabbage]

Yes. If I'm below 200, I'm psyched. For a long lime I wanted be under 170. Ain't happening in my thirties with any carbs, wine, or fun in my life.

I feel much happier at a strong 195 with confidence than I did at 165 ten years ago.

[rosiebear]

Yes. There really is no reason for me to carry the extra 5-15 lbs that I do, except for all the delicious reasons. Right now, I'm about 8 lbs from where I feel great, but I feel fine. Dropping those 8 lbs, much less another 7, would take more dietary restriction than I want to live with.

I exercise a lot, and I'm ok with the extra weight. If I could magically drop it, I would, but I don't want to give up too much to get there.

[Deleted]

right now my goal weight is 145 and i am 5'1". I will NEVER be 120 unless i devote my life to fitness..and guess what..I dont wanna. My husband like my curves and frankly i do to. Right now I am sitting just under 170 and I dont love it. But all of my clothes say M and they fit comfortably so im not really pushing it...FTR my wedding weight was 153

[thejen626]

Yes.

I'm 5'5" and weigh 170. I am very curvy with huge boobs, big butt, thick thighs. I'd like to get into the 150s but I hate dieting. I currently wear a size 8/10 and am mostly happy with my body, but ughhh I know that I'm not healthy at all. I have around 30% body fat which actually puts me at "obese" and that's insane to me. I work out really hard and enjoy lifting weights and there's only so much salad I can eat. Plus I enjoy drinking and eating shitty food lol

[FrankieM20]

I am struggling with this right now. I am having a very hard time accepting that my current weight is my body's happy place. I am not happy with my weight, but I also don't want to give up drinking or yummy foods entirely. That being said, I am at the point where I need to either accept my weight as-is OR stop drinking to see if I can shake these last couple of pounds to feel better. I really don't want to spend the rest of my life hating what I look like.

Like PP said above, I try very hard to focus on feeling healthy/doing healthy things and not focusing on the number. It's just really, really hard sometimes.

If anyone has success stories about accepting their body not matter what they weigh, I would be grateful to hear them.

[sangria]

I guess I’m willing to settle a tiny bit. As in, I’m 5’10” and I’ll take 160 over 150. But it’s a total lose / lose for me, because if I were to really indulge in ALL the things I wanted, I’d be huge. So while being able to eat and drink mostly what I want would be great, it comes with all the negatives of how I feel when I’m overweight.

I’d rather be more thin / more fit and sacrifice more because I guess feeling good and looking good make me happier. I guess I’m vain. Which is funny considering I’m working on about 35lbs I need to lose.

[melodramatic26]

I'm having a really hard time with this right now.

Even having lost over 80lbs (was 100, then HOLIDAYS brought me back to reality) getting past this point was so difficult. I'm "should" be 150. I honestly don't know that I can ever get there. I don't think my body will.

I'm trying really hard to be ok at being 185. I feel good, EXCEPT when I get on the fucking scale. But I can't NOT get on the scale because then I totally let myself go.

I essentially have to work hard to just be overweight. I don't think I want the life requirements that go with being "normal".

I know I'm healthy and I think for now, that's going to have to be good enough.

[Deleted]

Yes. I am doing WeightWatchers right now and I've been thinking about what my "goal" should be. Right now I have it at 170 because I'm 5'9 and 169 is the highest weight I should be according to BMI charts.

But I was about 190 for a couple of years and felt like that was a reasonable set weight for me - I was overweight and wanted to lose some, but I felt generally ok and didn't have to work very hard to stay there. So I feel like if I can get that far, I might be ok with staying there or losing REALLY slowly after that.

Of course, my favorite weight in pictures was when I was more like 160, but I'm not sure if I want to bother going that far unless somehow I find a groove that really works for me. I don't want to have to deprive myself to get there.

So short answer - yes, I feel like I could be heavier than my "ideal" weight and settle there and be happy. Unfortunately, I have a long way to go before I even get to a settle weight.

[bananapancakes]

Yes! My lowest adult weight (at about 21 or 22) was 147. According to WW, my goal weight is anywhere from 119-165. I was originally planning on trying to hit 150 but right now 160 sounds pretty darn good.

[hokiegirl82]

Jul 29, 2015 16:12:03 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Jul 29, 2015 15:52:00 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

145 is your settling weight?

She's 5 feet tall, which gives her a BMI of 28.3, which is overweight. That's the equivalent of me being just under 200lbs by BMI.

I'm 164 right now, which puts me solidly into the obese category, so 145 is a good goal for me.

[starlily]

My wedding weight was 150, which put me around 5-7lbs into the overweight range per BMI. Of course back then I felt hugely obese. Now that I'm actually obese 150-160 is my goal. I'm 5'4.

The only time I weighed less than 150 as an adult (141/142) was when I was purposely starving myself, and I'm not doing that again. So yeah, I'd totally settle for something higher than ideal, but just not as high as I am right now.

[jinkies]

My youngest is 3.5 and I'm just now accepting that I'll never see the 150s on the scale again.

I'm not 100% ok with it, but knowing that I'm running regularly and am generally fit makes it easier to accept being 170 than it was when I was 170 and less healthy.

I could probably comfortably maintain 160 if I put in a little more effort, but I justbdo not have the bandwidth for better meal planning and more exercise right now.

[Deleted]

Yes. I am a hair under 5'5 and spent most of HS & college hovering around 200lbs because of awful nutrition, emotional eating & complete inactivity ( like sloth levels)

I starved myself down to 116 after college, and ended up maintaining at 140 all throughout my 20s.

At 30 I weighed 157 & looked & felt the best I really ever had. ( lots of it was muscle weight?

I l got pregnant had a miscarriage & got pregnant again delivered DS at like 220.

Weighed 197 the day I left the hospital & 187 when I went back to work. Took 6 more months to get down to 165.

Then gained it all back & then some & got up past 200 over 2 years.

I am slowly loosing it. I weigh just about 190 right now. I really want to get down to 167. In my early 20s anything above 145 was " too big" now I am willing to weigh a little more ( all though not as much as I do now bc I don't feel healthy at this weight) in order it live a more balanced lifestyle.