Counting really works for us for some reason, i have no idea why. The threat of a time out is usually enough around here. I hope this continues for awhile bc i won't know what to do when it stops working! If we are in a store I threaten a time out when we get home.
Post by chirpchirp on Jul 30, 2015 11:05:58 GMT -5
W listens/calms down much better if I get down on her level to talk. But, if she's already worked up, I send her to a quiet place to calm down. If she gets physical (kicking is her thing right now), she immediately goes to time out until she's ready to apologize. Three has been so so so much harder than age two. My patience does wear pretty thin on most days.
Post by Regina Philange on Jul 30, 2015 13:17:21 GMT -5
Some good ideas here. I can control him at home. Just in public i have a hard time if he is acting out. So i do the wide eyes, and whisper yell(stern voice, stern face).
I have brought him outside before to "talk," and then we go back in. Sometimes i cant just leave someplace though so i get conflicted on what to do.
We have to do time outs because L needs a consequence. I think they are really effective for him and doing them helped him understand that his actions have consequences both to another person and for himself. Often times, he will put himself in time out and I get down on his level and we talk about what he did and he will tell me how sorry he is and want to go make it right. It took the consequence of time outs to get him there, though. I also think it gives him a breather from the situation and he is able to reflect on his actions.
He did this to E yesterday. They were running on the drive way and he straight up shoved her from behind. Not ok! Omg .
I'm sorry, but I feel like you are home all day with them, you should get more of a say in how you handle it (within reason obviously)
He likes to just talk it out and explain everything gently. It's hard to do that in the moment though!
This is how we feel too and have tried to handle it this way, but Elias will be so out of control- screaming and hitting and trying to get out of our arms if we pick him up or move him away from something or someone, so we aren't able to even talk to him because he's so upset. He won't stay in time out, either, and I dont think he understands the concept... we end up just having to put him in his room with the door closed for a min until we can go back in a talk to him. I've tried everything else and he will just keep hitting me and screaming, it sucks.
I'm sorry, but I feel like you are home all day with them, you should get more of a say in how you handle it (within reason obviously)
He likes to just talk it out and explain everything gently. It's hard to do that in the moment though!
In theory, this is how I parent too. DD has been put in time out before though so, you know, not always winning my goals.
We do toy time out more frequently though. If she hits, it's usually with a toy (specifically, her fairy wand) so I take it and put it high up on a ledge and tell her she can have it back when she's ready to [insert behavior change]. She responds really well to even the threat of a toy timeout so that helps a ton.
Eta, there's almost always a gentle discussion too. It's often just in conjunction (or immediately after) the child or toy timeout.
Most of the time I give a warning and set a consequence I can easily follow through with, then when necessary I do that. I'm a total stickler for following through which she knows, but lately she's still done a TON of testing me.
I use timeouts sparingly, but they do happen. Usually we both need a few minutes to calm down, then I'll ask her if she's ready to talk about it. They most often happen for things I won't give warnings about (physical harm, over the top disrespect).
We have a play pen downstairs that I'll put A in when it's dangerous for him to be underfoot (a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes right before dinner when I'm dealing with hot food/running around crazily, occasionally if I need to go to the bathroom). When G is in a mood that has her doing reckless, dangerous things, she gets put there too. I explain that I need her to be safe and if I can't trust her to keep herself safe then she can be safe there for a few minutes. I don't consider that time out, though.
Post by ninjabridemom on Jul 30, 2015 14:17:38 GMT -5
Violence, straight up disobeying, etc. get an automatic time out.
Just being an emotional 3yr old gets training lol. We use Daniel Tiger songs and practice when they aren't upset. I make them use their words and figure things out between themselves as much as I can.
Time outs, ignoring and distraction depending on the situation. The emotions are no joke. It seems to be getting a little better? Maybe? I'm probably jinxing myself.
It's getting a little better over here, too, but I'm hesitant to even say that!
Post by formerlyllizzyb on Jul 30, 2015 19:23:12 GMT -5
His toys go in time out a lot, too. That seems to work even better than putting him in timeout! Lol. It doesn't even have to be a toy involved in the conflict or disobedience.