I have been chosen to be the supervision for supervised visits for DHs friends kids and their mom. She lost custody and now has two supervised visits a week. I don't really know what to expect the only rule I've been told is she may not take the children out of my sight. She asked for my telephone number and DHs friend said no. Which I don't want her to have and I hope she doesn't ask me for it today. Also the father plans on being present with his wife, I told him that's a terrible idea but he insists he's allowed. I'm hoping it's not drama filled. Any tips anyone know anything I should do should I take notes?
Uhh...yeah, that sounds tricky. So you're supposed to keep watch while she visits her kids and the Dad wants to be there too? Can he wait in another room? Or in his car or something? If this situation makes you uncomfortable, I'd suggest they do the visits at a family visitation center. You're a good friend for trying this.
Wut. What's the point of you being there if your H's friend is going to be there. That has trouble written all over it.
eta: good luck! Â If anyone could handle this type of situation, it'd be you! Â
His goal is to obtain full custody and her lose her rights. It's been his goal a long time. He is purposefully IMO, trying to induce her to lose her shit and help his case. This visit is taking place at a McDonald's play place and he says he has every right to be there. I'm there because they need an impartial person supervising. He really shouldn't be going.
Post by charlielove on Jul 30, 2015 9:34:08 GMT -5
Also, make sure you're nearby, but you can be doing something else like reading, etc. I would note anything concerning. Including the father and his wife being there....
Wut. What's the point of you being there if your H's friend is going to be there. That has trouble written all over it.
eta: good luck! If anyone could handle this type of situation, it'd be you!
His goal is to obtain full custody and her lose her rights. It's been his goal a long time. He is purposefully IMO, trying to induce her to lose her shit and help his case. This visit is taking place at a McDonald's play place and he says he has every right to be there. I'm there because they need an impartial person supervising. He really shouldn't be going.
His goal is to obtain full custody and her lose her rights. It's been his goal a long time. He is purposefully IMO, trying to induce her to lose her shit and help his case. This visit is taking place at a McDonald's play place and he says he has every right to be there. I'm there because they need an impartial person supervising. He really shouldn't be going.
That's horrible! I'd refuse to get involved.
They asked dh first but I don't want him wasting his days off and precious time with the kids on this. Also his friend has been helping me a lot with my cousins immigration from Iraq to Canada and he even did all my immigration paper work. So..,,I feel like I really should. I also love his kids and I want to help them see their mom.
It's strange to me that the dad got to pick who supervises. I thought it had to be a social worker or something?
I'm just scared for you that it will affect your relationship with the dad. I'm assuming you will have to report your interactions, and what if the mom ends up being a good mom? Will he hold it against you if you don't take "his side?" I don't want you to get screwed in this transaction!
Once my aunt went with us, but we always had a court appointed bodyguard.
I don't understand this. I'm not being mean, I'm asking out of concern. Do you have any training as to what to do if something happens? You are not an impartial 3rd party. The court should recognize that and know its not a good idea.
Post by DesertMoon on Jul 30, 2015 10:29:59 GMT -5
My first question was how can I? I have no background or training in this kind of thing. Apparently you have to pay for a professional, which neither parents wants to do. The court said the father is incharge of choosing a supervisor. He gave her three options, a priest at his church, a former babysitter they had or dh, she chose DH and was ok with me instead. I won't be taking sides I'll be reporting her promptness and anything else noteworthy. I told him of es expecting me to shit on her to help him I'm not going to lie about anything.
I had supervised visits with me dad as a kid until we were able to change it so he had no visitation rights. My uncle, my mom's brother was who supervised them.
Post by charlielove on Jul 30, 2015 13:50:39 GMT -5
Well, I'm sure she is upset about the situation. The situation sounds very upsetting. And then to have them there watching all of her interactions with the children, it's all very dysfunctional. There was really no way this was going to be a good situation.
Post by DesertMoon on Jul 30, 2015 14:04:56 GMT -5
Something that wasn't supposed to happen, happened she saw someone she was not allowed to, her son told. She is telling him he needs to stop being a liar and telling lies and he Better tell daddy and the social worker the truth. She also said because you are a liar see what happened they took you away. The dad wants to move to get full custody. This woman had three children before that were also taken away so idk. We'll see what happens.
Okay, I'd check with what your responsibilities are with being the supervision, but this is something I'd document. Write down exactly what she said to him.
This sounds like a miserable situation. I'm sorry you are the middle if it. Do you have the authority to put an end to the visit if she continues berating the kids/ anything else improper happens?