tried out a new church today

[drrn04]

This pretty much sums it up (sorry they're so huge):



with a fair dose of this:




I had high hopes, since an evangelical branch of this church broke off from it in the mid 90's, so I figured it would be pretty tame. I grew up Presbyterian, and have been pretty happy with it as an adult. They're definitely getting more progressive, and the churches who don't agree w/ that direction have broken off from the PC of USA and regrouped with the Evangelical PC movement.

Well, I walked in, and about 5 minutes into the service, wanted to walk out. The whole thing focused around how Christianity was the one, and only way, and that we, as a society are getting lost in a sea of justifications in trying to include other religions as a legitimate means of salvation and grace.

Hopefully next week, somewhere else, is better. For those who have had to look around for churches, did you end up changing denominations from what you initially started as? Everywhere else I've lived I've been very comfortable right away with a church community. Here, not so much.

[azurely]

I grew up Presbyterian, went to a Presby college, and attended a Presbyterian church there too. After college, I attended a non-denominational for a while, switched to a Methodist church and got married there, now we are attending a non-denominational church again. I still consider myself a Methodist though

So the short answer is yes, I have changed denominations to find a church where we were comfortable.

[joenali]

I just dont go anymore. I like being outside and marveling at nature. So much better than any church service.

[macmars45]

I grew up liberal Presbyterian and my H grew up very conservative Lutheran. We compromised on non-denominational. We've been at our church a year next month.

[candreco]

I grew up Presbyterian as well, and have always been lucky enough to find congregations that take the community, educational, and ecumenical parts of Presbyterian doctrine very seriously. Lots of partnerships with other denominations and faiths, focus on learning and understanding and not just following.

[mkesweetie]

I grew up Catholic, my H grew up Pentecostal. We go to an Episcopalian church now, and we're both so happy there. We both left the church we grew up in, for similar reasons but individually, and are really happy w/ the Episcopal church.

[loveablesarah]

I need to find a church. I've been meaning to, I'm just lazy.

Anyway, I don't think you should limit yourself by religion. Look for somewhere you feel comfortable and where you feel like you get something out of the service. Religion is just a title, IMO.

And SueSue is right. Websites are a great way to get a "feel" before wasting a Sunday.

Good luck.

[Dusky]

I feel your pain. We moved to this area almost two years ago and still haven't found a church we really "click" with. I would definitely consider different denominations if you're not having much luck so far.

[drrn04]

well, I had checked out their website prior to attending, and thought it would definitely be worth a visit. They are not the evangelical offshoot. A church down the road from us is, and I definitely know I won't be heading there (based both on my understanding about the reasons for the evangelical separation from the mainstream Presbyterian church, and from a 2 minute venture onto their website). This church is supposedly mainstream PCUSA, but didn't feel that way at all. I've joined 3 separate PC churches in my life, and they were all very similar. This one was like whaaaa?

There's another church across town that I'm going to try, I just went to this one first because it was so close to where we currently live. Oh well! Hopefully next week will be better!

[snipsnsnails]

I grew up Lutheran (ELCA) and DH grew up Roman Catholic. We're now at a non-denominational church. We're thinking about exploring other churches, but not sure if what we'll pursue.

Good Luck, Dot!

[jena]

I grew up Presby. If I could find a church like the one I grew up with, I'd go again. But the one at college was scary and strange (1000x more uptight and evangelical). I never realized how liberal my church was until I moved away.

FWIW, I don't see anything wrong with getting up and leaving. Unless it's a really small town where people would know you.

[sonrisa]

We've churched shopped before.

We are episcopalean and when our denomination ordained it's first gay bishop we both felt it was important to take a stand and return to church. We wanted a Sunday evening service since DH was a resident and often worked call saturday night. We tried about 5 different churches in NYC. One had monks, incense and a relic. Another had an evangelical strain and a christian rock band playing the music. It was crazy. We finally found a perfect fit with an evening service that had some experimental touches (a resident musician who composed all the hymns) but it still suited us.

This time we shopped beyond our denomination for a really kid friendly church. We found a few nice options but the best one was MIL's which has a separate kiddie service. Perfect for us.

[sonrisa]

Aug 19, 2012 13:20:46 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

You could try reform Judaism its awesome

Awesome religion, but the conversion process is a bear :-)

[cleo29]

I am not hopeful about finding a Catholic Church near us that will be something that I like. I love the one I attended growing, they are far more progressive than most and it just feels nice. I was technically baptized Lutheran.

[drrn04]

Aug 19, 2012 13:07:11 GMT -5 snipsnsnails said:

I grew up Lutheran (ELCA) and DH grew up Roman Catholic. We're now at a non-denominational church. We're thinking about exploring other churches, but not sure if what we'll pursue.

Good Luck, Dot!

Natalie's new preschool is at the ELCA near us. Please tell me it isn't super conservative, in general. Please. I don't want to spend $800/month on a private non-church preschool, but also don't want to do a co-op preschool, because I'm lazy.

[Deleted]

Don't be afraid to just go to random church services. I'm not religious but this is what i would do. The specific culture and preachings are more important than denomination, which can be pretty politically driven anyway.

[cleo29]

Aug 19, 2012 13:30:31 GMT -5 @drrn04 said:

Aug 19, 2012 13:07:11 GMT -5 snipsnsnails said:

I grew up Lutheran (ELCA) and DH grew up Roman Catholic. We're now at a non-denominational church. We're thinking about exploring other churches, but not sure if what we'll pursue.

Good Luck, Dot!

Natalie's new preschool is at the ELCA near us. Please tell me it isn't super conservative, in general. Please. I don't want to spend $800/month on a private non-church preschool, but also don't want to do a co-op preschool, because I'm lazy.

Most co-op programs have the option of paying a little more to opt out of helping at the school.

[drrn04]

if I don't like this program, I'll look more closely at that option Cleo. When I checked them out online (wasn't able to visit since I was so far away), there was no mention of this at all. They charged like $250 per semester, so $500/year, and parents did everything from janitorial work, to gardening, to teaching/planning to office work, in addition to all the normal parent volunteer/fundraising stuff. No.thanks.

[cleo29]

Aug 19, 2012 13:53:26 GMT -5 @drrn04 said:

if I don't like this program, I'll look more closely at that option Cleo. When I checked them out online (wasn't able to visit since I was so far away), there was no mention of this at all. They charged like $250 per semester, so $500/year, and parents did everything from janitorial work, to gardening, to teaching/planning to office work, in addition to all the normal parent volunteer/fundraising stuff. No.thanks.

I'm trying to remember if they had mentioned that on the websites for co-ops near me, but I know both offered the option when I got more info.

[livinitup]

I grew up and am Catholic, so church shopping has been about picking the Catholic church I like best - which gives me a surprisingly large number of options in the Northeast. It doesn't solve the larger issue of how the Vatican is terrible, but on local level, I do okay. I haven't made the leap to a new religion yet. And don't think I ever can. I pray that my religion stops being so stupid. But the stupidity rarely comes up in a Sunday service, if ever. And there is so much good, too. And I really, really want to be a part of the change rather than leave it to the conservatives to not change anything. Anyway, I understand the struggle to change religions and the desire not to.

[Deleted]

My upbringing and early adulthood was at progressive PCUSA churches, but since I've moved to New England, there aren't many PCUSA churches around here. The closest one is just like the one you describe, so that's out. Here, a similar denomination is the UCC church. Theology and doctrine are similar. I'm not sure where you are located, but that might be a reasonable comparison.

Good luck! Church shopping can be a tiring process.

[ElizabethBennet]

We never found a church where we are currently. We tried many and none of them seemed right and a lot of them left us with similar reactions as you. I didn't realize it would be this hard to find a church. Most of the churches we tried were VERY conservative in their beliefs. DH and I aren't ultra liberal or anything but we probably are more liberal than your average Christian. It also doesn't help that we went to an amazing church back home, so every church we went to was compared to that and they just didn't measure up.

One church we walked out of almost immediately because they spent most of the worship time speaking in tongues, guys were skipping down the aisle, and the pastor got up immediately and started talking about how we were in the end times and moving towards a one world government. I'm all for people worshiping passionately but for us it was just distracting.

Another church we attended for a few weeks. We were kind of put off by the fact that each worship service was basically a concert for the worship team, we didn't know any of the songs but realized after a few weeks the neither did anyone else. It was a service of probably 700 people and NO ONE was singing. The sermons were also very feel good and surface. Being seeker friendly is fine, but I want some meat to my sermons.

We didn't try many different denominations, though we probably should have. I grew up in a conservative Baptist home and DH grew up Lutheran. We're pretty non-denominational right now though.

[Deleted]

Plummy, have you tried United Methodist and do you live in the South? I find Methodist churches are hit or miss south of the mason dixon. I've got to all five within a twenty minute drive of my house and only in the last two years did I find the right fit. (I grew up independent, occasionally southern baptist if that helps. I switched to Methodist in my early twenties when I realized they believe similar things but weren't going to climb my shit when my husband didn't come to church with me.)

Dot, I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding something. I think UCC might be a good one to try as I'm not sure there are many other denominations who won't say Christianity is the only way. Although there are plenty who are decidedly less obnoxious about it. That being said, I think it's normal even in more progressive (but not completely liberal churches) to give a fierce sermon every 3-6 months or so. I know ours is pretty evenhanded, mostly teaching type sermons with exhortations to get you through the week and not broad, ye must be saved NAO ones. But every now and then, I guess he gets a feeling and we get a squirmer lol.

[ElizabethBennet]

Aug 19, 2012 18:07:46 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Plummy, have you tried United Methodist and do you live in the South? I find Methodist churches are hit or miss south of the mason dixon. I've got to all five within a twenty minute drive of my house and only in the last two years did I find the right fit. (I grew up independent, occasionally southern baptist if that helps. I switched to Methodist in my early twenties when I realized they believe similar things but weren't going to climb my shit when my husband didn't come to church with me.)

Yep, I'm in the south, but we're leaving here in about 6 weeks. We never got around to trying any Methodist churches but we will when we move. My grandparents were Methodist and I really liked their church. I think we got so disheartened by the search that we basically gave up.

I just never realized how different churches can be by what region you're in. I mean I *knew* it but it's definitely something else to experience it.

[lazyphoque]

Dot, ygpm.

[snipsnsnails]

Aug 19, 2012 13:30:31 GMT -5 @drrn04 said:

Aug 19, 2012 13:07:11 GMT -5 snipsnsnails said:

I grew up Lutheran (ELCA) and DH grew up Roman Catholic. We're now at a non-denominational church. We're thinking about exploring other churches, but not sure if what we'll pursue.

Good Luck, Dot!

Natalie's new preschool is at the ELCA near us. Please tell me it isn't super conservative, in general. Please. I don't want to spend $800/month on a private non-church preschool, but also don't want to do a co-op preschool, because I'm lazy.

Oh, no, ELCA is one of the more progressive mainstream denominations. Even 30 years ago, I had a liberal female pastor in my small town, Midwestern congregation and she always got along swimmingly with the denomination heads.

[Deleted]

Dude, even five miles can make all the difference. The last UMC church I went to before this one was chockabock full of sweet southern sugar bigots and racists, despite the fact that their pastor was female and decidedly not biased.

I go to a church now that is literally on the other side of the highway five miles and they are the nicest people ever, not a racist bone in their sweet natured, sweet tea pouring little bodies. I luuuuuurve them so.

[marynjoe]

Aug 19, 2012 11:57:24 GMT -5 @drrn04 said:

Well, I walked in, and about 5 minutes into the service, wanted to walk out. The whole thing focused around how Christianity was the one, and only way, and that we, as a society are getting lost in a sea of justifications in trying to include other religions as a legitimate means of salvation and grace.

Well, to play the Devil's Advocte here. don't most churches think they are the only way and that others aren't? If not, we would have just one religion.

Just keep looking. You'll find the right church. It might just take time.

[pugz]

PC USA is definitely more progressive/liberal and that PCA or EPC churches but I've found they vary church to church quite a bit.

we go to a United Methodist Church and are very happy with it. Focus on service, community, compassion, and it is an open minded congregation.

[sneetch]

Aug 19, 2012 12:32:08 GMT -5 mkesweetie said:

I grew up Catholic, my H grew up Pentecostal. We go to an Episcopalian church now, and we're both so happy there. We both left the church we grew up in, for similar reasons but individually, and are really happy w/ the Episcopal church.

This is us exactly, exactly H grew up in a UCC church. The Episcopal church has been a great fit for us both.