No one I know IRL is into fancy name brand kid stuff... Like Baby gap is the fanciest. No one does HA or tea collection or half the other brands people talk about here.
Oh yeah this too. I have never heard of these brands outside of GBCN. Everyone here wears Carter's, Garanimals, and Jumping Bean (that's Target, Walmart, and Kohl's, respectively).
Most I know IRL are far more lax about screen time.
I only know 1 woman who Bf beyond a year IRL.
I have noticed lately that more and more people I see are RF to age 2 now, or at least beyond a year. I definitely don't know anyone else IRL still doing it at 3 though.
I see tons of Bjorns but also a fair amount of other carriers.
Food. People I know IRL are far more lax about food and juice. I'd say this is the big one. Other than no juice, I feel like I am pretty reasonable about food but compared to IRL I look like a food nazi.
How is pearl clutchy not judging? Come on. Just admit you judge. winecheery.
Too lazy to read rest of thread.
Lol
I suppose I judge a bit on this matter. But really, it's more like I don't get it. I really don't. Maybe I am mis-using "pearl clutchy." In my head it's a step down from flat out judging. Like a brief side-eye, instead, ha. Whatever.
Extended rear-facing. Everyone rolls their eyes at me and says I could've turned her already, blah blah, cramped legs, blah.
My group is divided on the screen time thing. I'm one of the few who's kid has never sat down in front of the TV for anything, ever. She has seen 1-3 min clips of like, Bambi, and Winnie the Pooh from my phone. But that's it. I have some friends who feel very strongly about this too, and then a couple others who are like waaaaay more breezy. I don't judge (really I don't) but I do get a bit pearl clutchy  (wilted) I just don't love TV, so that's part of my thing with screen time.Â
Definitely all of this. Most friends IRL turn their car seats around 1.5, saying 'they waited as long as they could'. But I am lucky that my kid doesn't mind.
My DH is actually worse than me being adamant about no screen time before 2. We aren't big TV people to start with. Not an internet thing for us but, none of our friends limit it for their kids.
And then every time MIL is around she tries to show DS a video on her iPad or pictures of himself and we have to stop her every time. You would think she would learn? He does get videos while getting his hair cut to keep him still. Works like a charm!
Post by awkwardpenguin on Aug 1, 2015 8:10:39 GMT -5
I see the occasional Baby Bjorn, but in Chicago I feel like I see Ergos way more often. But I get tons of people stopping me on the street or the bus to ask me about the ring sling.
It's super common IRL to have the baby in their own room in the crib from day one. I think it's more mixed on here.
Securing all the furniture. Our handyman had never installed an anti tip bracket on a stove before.
I don't think I know anyone who EPs, but most of the rest of these are pretty common in my circle. Our friends run the gamut on screen time, from "I got rid of my smartphone to model appropriate technology use for my toddler" to "what? your 8-month-old has never used an ipad?"
Mommy war stuff. SAHM vs. wohm, bfing vs. ffing, etc. irl most people are supportive and gracious. There are some idiots of course but on the whole I would say most people don't have time to even think that much about other parents' choices.
I would agree with this. There is a bit of a SAHM is best culture but it's not too bad. Most people here really don't care and understand that you doing you, doing what you have to is a-ok. And no one really cares about the minute details of bedtime, how long your kid had a bottle, breastfeeding or not. And if they do care, they keep it to themselves.
Dictating gift lists to the inlaws/parents/family in general. You pretty much take what you get and be happy about it. Throw in the constant "I hate X kid toy!" too. No one here really cares (within common sense..lol) What toy the kids have as long as they are quiet and occupied.
Babysitter drama. Everyone here has the $7.00 teenager/college kid home on break down the road. I know no one who pays non family adults to babysit on a Friday night. And esp. not $14.00/hr. That's more than most of us here make at our day jobs.
Fighting with the H over household chores and the 50/50 split. In my circle most of us have husbands who farm and work 100 hours a week sometimes. Fighting about the dishwasher and equal wife rights is not high on the agenda when your H comes rolling in at 3am just to get up at 5 again.
Bed sharing.
Getting your one year old on a waitlist for Pre-K. Here there are four options. 2 private. 2 public. When your kid turns 3 you go to the school office, fill out a form and Bam! PreK enrollment done. Same with school selection. Most people here either go to the public school or one of the 4 religious schools that match up with your religion and done. I do have friends that have this struggle, but out here in Little House on the Prairie it's not at all common. I know a few people have changed districts for whatever reason, but it's not common.
I do know quite a few people who ERF and CD diaper. Shockingly.
RFing past 2. I guess a lot of strangers might FF past 1 but I don't know how old their kids are.
FFing from the start is very common in my area of NYC, and several in my circle did this.
Ground rules on visiting new babies is unheard of here (and I didn't care about people visiting in the hospital/home myself)
Screen time isn't a thing (and we are pretty nonchalant about it too).
BLW is an Internet thing.
Lots more people IRL use family for childcare.
No one cares about Amazon Prime IRL lol.
No one also cares IRL about baby clothes and shoes.
I only know one person who CDed.
Ground Rules here:
*Show up at an appropriate time of day *Bring a casserole and a snack *Snuggle baby for an appropriate amount of time *Ask if they need anything *Leave
Lists of ground rules aren't really a thing either here.
I suppose I judge a bit on this matter. But really, it's more like I don't get it. I really don't. Maybe I am mis-using "pearl clutchy." In my head it's a step down from flat out judging. Like a brief side-eye, instead, ha. Whatever.
Sure, judging. Better?
You've never had to solo parent for months on end, I'm assuming. There are times I would not be able to get anything done during Football season without having a little screen time. I'm completely ok with that.
I wasn't attacking you. I know some of your story (obviously from your posts here) so I can imagine that you use what tools you have to get through. I was addressing the people I knew IRL, vs the internet people, which I thought was the point of the thread? How things differ from what we see on here vs the cases specific to us IRL?
Post by starburst604 on Aug 1, 2015 8:56:17 GMT -5
I had never heard of HA or Boden till here. I was at the outlets and saw a HA store and was excited to go in. Then quickly became unexcited. Maybe it's just the infant stuff that is unimpressive, I dunno.
I never hear anyone talk about EBF, ERF or BLW. Maybe they do it and just don't bring it up. My H's cousin is what I would describe as an uber helicopter parent, and she turned her preemie DD FF around a year because she was getting carsick. That didn't solve the problem but she didn't turn her back. I was surprised.
I thought of another. IRL most potty train by 2. I know tons of 12-18mo olds potty trained. We are definitely slacking on that aspect IRL. Our schedules are not conducive to having tons of time in the house. But we are definitely going to try to have this done by 2. I am sure we are starting to get a side-eye.
Agree with this too. We did it at 2y 5m, late IRL but seemed early to a lot of people here. 2 weeks later, DS is in underwear except for naps. We were really able to make great progress in a weekend. It was not a drawn out experience.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT OTHER PARENTS DO ANYMORE....lol. I stopped caring probably 6yrs ago when DD2 was 2yrs old. I ran out of 'give a fucks' by then. Most of my "Mom friends" are sane (or old) & did not continue on having kids past 2 or 3 so they no longer have toddlers/babies. I'm a hermit & just do my thing at home with DD4. Three of my SILs have babies/toddlers but we do not talk except when we see each other (very rarely). I just play on the internet for fun
Visiting new parents and bringing meals is an Internet thing in my circle. I always bring snacks or fruit or something but with my first only one person brought us a meal (and they stayed at ate it with us which seemed weird) and with my second my two closest friends did each bring a dish.
Post by sillygoosegirl on Aug 1, 2015 10:23:17 GMT -5
The only "Internet" thing I can think of that I haven't seen at least one mom do IRL is ERF. But I would guess that's mostly because I don't look much in other people's cars.
Post by starburst604 on Aug 1, 2015 10:36:02 GMT -5
Oh I knew there was another....rice cereal hate. Literally every parent on my FB is posting pics of baby either loving or hating rice cereal on their 4 month birthday.
Visiting new parents and bringing meals is an Internet thing in my circle. I always bring snacks or fruit or something but with my first only one person brought us a meal (and they stayed at ate it with us which seemed weird) and with my second my two closest friends did each bring a dish.
Oh no! That's the best part of having a newborn. We got so much awesome, fatty food, and plenty of guests stayed and ate with us.
As for my Internet vs IRL contributions; -- extremely coordinated, beautiful birthday parties with themes. In my circle, it's pizza and cake and maybe some napkins that are the same color as the plastic tablecloth. -- lots of love for the Bjorn. I see a crotch dangler at least once a day.
apparently i hang out with a bunch of hippies, because almost everyone i know is a no juice, no screen time, cosleeping, cloth diapering, erf, ebf, nip parent lol there are a lot of things i learned about IRL first and then heard about here. a family i nannied for actually taught me about BLW.
my SIL is the only one i know who is the opposite of all of that. she is horrible with carseats though. i don't think her 5yo even uses one. i just pretend i don't know it's happening.
i will say though, that i know my friend circle is a minority, and i am even more of a minority among my closest friends.
Post by Queen Mamadala on Aug 1, 2015 11:11:49 GMT -5
In my circle, most are pretty crunchy, so co-sleeping, "extended" breastfeeding, ERF, OOHB, cloth diapering, etc., are pretty common, if not standard. Outside these crunchy circles, none of this is common or standard practice.
I thought of another. IRL most potty train by 2. I know tons of 12-18mo olds potty trained. We are definitely slacking on that aspect IRL. Our schedules are not conducive to having tons of time in the house. But we are definitely going to try to have this done by 2. I am sure we are starting to get a side-eye.
I feel like no one I know IRL potty trains at what I'd consider the standard age of between 2 and 3. I know early trainers and people who don't even try until 3. Most people I know who train early at least one parent is foreign born. My exBIL wanted to train my niece at 15 months and my sister thought he was insane. They were living abroad at the time and most kids were trained by 18 months. But I know tons of people IRL who train at what I consider to be really late, like 3.5.
I'd prefer to train early so it's good to know I wouldn't be a weirdo in pennypenny's circle or most other countries.
The more I think about it, the more I realize my social circle is pretty close to this board. Screen time is probably the main difference. People are pretty lax about that. Except my sisters who both enforce littl screen time.
Oh I finally thought of one. Ardent ditching of the bottle by 12 months and going through a bazillion sippies to find the perfect one. I see lots of toddlers with bottles when we are out as I also hand one to my DD.
And yes also to the internet rice cereal hate.
I don't see many back carried toddlers or Tulas IRL.