IRL my people are much more relaxed about using babysitters, leaving kids overnight etc. only on GBCN do I read about that not happening on a regular basis.
In general people I know are way more relaxed. Or I have just chosen to surround myself with those types. Oddly enough I am the most uptight of my extended friends on many subjects but around here I am the queen of breezy lol.
Yeah I don't think we have given DD juice or soda yet, but everything else is fair game. I don't really buy organic, although her school lunches are organic as are some of her pouches.
I think I also judge myself against how I was raised, and we shop so so so much healthier than my parents did when we were little. So I think we are doing just fine!
We don't really buy junk or treats to keep in the house, but certainly don't forbid them when out and about or for special occasions.
My childhood was filled with all kinds of things that it just doesnt occur to me to buy- HoHo's, Spaghetti O's, frozen meals, chips, cookie, zebra cakes, bugles, combos, Doritos, Pringles, m&m's, and on and on.
I pay no attention to kid clothing, but have never heard anyone mention J&J, Boden, etc. outside of MMM.
I'm not sure how many people here had their kid sleeping in their room past 3m, but we were the only ones in our new parents group who did.
Yes to the clothing part. I hadn't heard of lots of brands before here. And I'm pretty sure my IRL friends don't care nearly as much about kids clothes and shoes. I have gotten some great shoes for O from recs from this board, though!
If brands like Stokke and Orbit and Uppababy are considered high end, I see them a lot in our corner of NJ. I always wonder how moms push that one tall Stokke model without the whole thing tipping over. The bag at the bottom also looks so impossibly small.
Screen time does not seem to matter to most parents I socialize with IRL. I can only think of one mom who ever mentioned a concern and she was way overboard imo. She wouldn't even take her one year old down the TV display aisle in Target.
Post by penguingrrl on Aug 1, 2015 18:08:05 GMT -5
One thing I've noticed is that people I know IRL don't label things or call their parenting a style. Things like "attachment parenting" or baby led weaning aren't called anything other than parenting. I don't know many people who did purees for long, but nobody actively said they were doing BLW (myself included even though my younger two never had purees).
I have also never seen such meticulous carseat use except in some very rare cases. I've gotten a lot of comments and looks because my big 2.5 year old is still RF (although more kids are now since I live in NJ and they just made RF to 2 state law). I also argued a bit with my older daughter's girl scout leader because I insisted on sending a booster with my 7 year old on a trip even though she's very tall (to be fair, she 5 steps in both of our cars, but still uses a booster). The leader insisted that "nobody bothers with those anymore."
Not circumcising. Pretty much everyone I know who has/had boys circ'd them. Both of my boys are uncirc'd, and we always got lots of questions about it when DS1 was first born and still a small infant, like people couldn't understand why we didn't. Or they would keep asking when we planned to do it. They couldn't fathom that we weren't ever planning to, LOL.
But really my friends with kids are all spread out bust most of them are pretty sympatico with how I parent, except:
1. ALL women whose registries I've seen have registered for a "travel system," i.e. a car seat that comes with a stroller as part of a package deal. I feel like no one does that here.
2. I am the only person I know IRL who quit bottles at 12 months.
If brands like Stokke and Orbit and Uppababy are considered high end, I see them a lot in our corner of NJ. I always wonder how moms push that one tall Stokke model without the whole thing tipping over. The bag at the bottom also looks so impossibly small.
What else would be?
IDK, I thought there could be even higher end stroller brands I have never heard of.
Characters on clothing ( or even designs!) being not okay.
I get not wanting your kid wearing a shirt that says Stud Muffin or future trophy wife.
But a Mickey shirt? Or a t shirt with a Dino riding a skateboard sipping on a latte? I don't get the big deal. I mean I guess it's a problem if that's what Jim from accounting wears to the big meeting, but the 3rd grade & under crowd it's fine.
I thought of another. IRL most potty train by 2. I know tons of 12-18mo olds potty trained. We are definitely slacking on that aspect IRL. Our schedules are not conducive to having tons of time in the house. But we are definitely going to try to have this done by 2. I am sure we are starting to get a side-eye.
Interesting, it's the opposite here. From talking to the women in my mom's group, the girls train around 2-2.5 and boys train around 3-3.5. I know several boys who are 3ish and are not trained. DS trained at 3.25 FWIW. I felt like that was normal in my area.
Tulas and other expensive carriers. I never saw a Tula IRL until a month ago. Most of my friends in the PNW just used Ergos but here in TX (at least in my city) have high-end wraps and carriers. Screen time. Most of my friends' kids watch a lot of tv. My kid watches a lot of tv. I'm really breezy about it.
The RF carseat issue does seem to be the same IRL as online for me. Most of my friends turned their kids to FF at 3. A few of my friends here in TX still have their 3 and 4 year olds RF.
Post by andthentherewere10 on Aug 2, 2015 6:53:46 GMT -5
I guess most of the MMM things align with my IRL mom friends, even though I live in the super conservative bible belt. Sought out likeminded moms, I guess.
My son is 15 months old and I: wear him for hours each day in my stupid-expensive carriers BF past 1 cloth diaper no screen time RF past 1 vaccinate
But if I compare him to the kids he goes to daycare with, it is completely opposite. He was the only BF infant and the only BF toddler. Only CDed kid. (with the exception of one kid a few years ago in the history of the daycare)
Apparently having DS on a daily routine is an Internet thing. This surprises me. We get comments all the time either marveling at the idea or comments about how early he goes to bed (7 pm).
Last night I was chatting with a few friends just about baby/kid stuff in general. I mentioned that my plan this week is to get the infant seat installed in my car again and figure out what our best configuration will be with 3 kids in car seats. One friend was like, "Did you know they recommend that kids rear face until age 2 now?!?!?" She sounded so shocked.
So I definitely saw that non-internet sterotype IRL yesterday.
I live in NYC. A lot of the internet "mommy wars" are very real. Around here, people judge for screen time, sugar/juice, not BFing, staying at home or working (depending on the crowd), riding in a taxi without a car seat, riding in a taxi with a car seat, having kids too young, having kids too old and about 20 other things, including whether you've already applied to the right preschool for your fetus.
Mercifully, I've fallen in with a pretty level-headed crowd this time around and no longer talk to/run into a lot of the judgmental women I seemed to meet everywhere when DD was a baby. But I know they are around, I'm not delusional. It's not that I care so much what other people think at this point, but it's infuriating and exhausting to be around that kind of judgment/negativity.
I figure the stroller thing is COL related. Same goes for luxury car brands, right?
I think it's COL and also use. When I lived in NYC we didn't have money at all, but found a way to get a Phil and Ted's because I was walking 5-7 miles a day just in living and my stroller started falling apart quickly so I replaced it and demoted that one to being the stroller that stayed in the car. It seems like that's what a lot of the high end strollers are designed for, but once they got popular in the city then they spread to surrounding suburbs. Not sure if it's still true, but 8 years ago bugaboos were terrible to put in the car because they took up a ton of room and were difficult to collapse, but were fantastic for city use.
Bed times. No one I know has a bed time, or a bed time routine for their kids. Even the otherwise organized parents. They just kind of send them randomly and don't read books or anything consistent.
Damn, he can't even look at pics or videos of himself on an iPad? How is that like watching a TV show? You should probably just say in no uncertain terms to your MIL that he can't look at pics of himself on a screen because you don't want him to have screen time. It probably doesn't even register to her as being an issue.
I'm with you! Screen time is not in and of itself harmful; it's only potentially harmful because kids aren't doing other things, like engaging in play that helps them develop their brains. But it has also been shown that if used in an interactive manner (or like with an iPad where they can engage with it), it's actually helping their cognitive development.
So a few pictures or a short clip on a iPad is like so far from NBD, it's not even worth remarking over.
If you sit your baby/toddler/child/adult down for hours of Bugs Bunny or Spongebob? Probably not great. Moderation is just fine.
Of course screen time is not harmful in itself. I was simply responding to the overall thread question about what parenting things are just internet things. Screen time was brought up and I'm probably as strict or more about that particular topic while having many friends who are quite lax about it. But I'm not going to get into all of my reasons and opinions on it past that as its a much longer topic.
I live in a LCOL/MCOL city (although in an expensive neighborhood) and see a lot of higher end strollers. I hardly ever see anyone walking with a "cheap" stroller, though I think our terrain probably is the main dominating factors (our roads are terrible and sidewalks often end and turn into dirt paths, thus, you pretty much need a good jogging stroller to be happy here!).
I think most of the MMM things are pretty standard within my friends. Water/no juice, little to no screen time, baby wearing (the ergo is dominant brand here), some cloth diapers and breastfeeding a bit past a year. Oh and Keens. Every kid has Keens! Fancy/expensive clothes (other than Keens, which are practical/outdoors/REI expensive, not fancy expensive) are not popular here at all though. They are also not popular for adults either though (although practical/outdoors/REI expensive is also popular with adults)...it's extremely relaxed/casual. We are also uptight about hats and sunscreen (not any brand in particular, but about blocking up...always!), but that it due to the climate. I do see people out and about with toddlers drinking juice from bottles and whatnot, but not within my little circle of friends.
I have no idea what people do in their cars as far as seats. I do think MMM is probably a little more "uptight" than my reality though. For example, I know one person who got rear ended pretty hard (without her kids in the car, thankfully) and had like $10k+ of damage done to the car. I asked her about whether insurance was replacing the seats and she was like, "Oh, I don't think that's necessary at all."